Own Body

What to Do If Your Child Criticizes Their Own Body

As your child approaches their teen years, their whole self-image will start to change. All of a sudden they spend more time in front of a mirror trying to get the “right” look. Clothes now matter as they experiment with new styles and combinations. They are trying to find their identity – something that will say to other people who they are.

Unfortunately in the process sometimes things go awry and they can all of a sudden start to not like themselves. Whether fueled by ads on T.V. featuring models that are too thin, peer pressure or just self-criticism, they can develop a negative image of their body as it goes through puberty and changes dramatically.

Many times body and self-image negativity is short-lived and passes with time, but it can in certain people develop into an unhealthy and unrealistic view of themselves. As parents, what can you do? First, have patience. While something may seem inconsequential to you, it can be of terrible importance to your child, such as the shape of their nose. Be supportive but yet point out how that that is not bad and it makes them who they are.

Compliment them on their other physical attributes. Maybe they don’t like one particular feature of their body. Negate that pessimistic view by pointing out other positive features and physical attributes like speed, balance and grace. This is especially easy to do if they are involved in sports or dance.

While s/he may not think they look good on the outside, point out how “beautiful” they are on the inside. Maybe they volunteer time at a nursing home or readily share with a sister or brother, etc. Complimenting on these inner attributes helps negate negative feeling about the outside of their body. While it may be important to your child to spend an hour in the bathroom getting ready, it can be an inconvenience to the rest of the family if you only have one bathroom. Emphasize the importance of managing time, sharing limited resources and how taking unusually amounts of time inconveniences others.

What you do and say has a powerful impact on your child (even if you don’t think it does). If you have a negative selfimage of yourself, how can you expect your child to have a positive one? Be a good role model by being happy with yourself and your self-image.

Once your child is at school or away from your house, there isn’t much you can do to control what is said or done. However, when they are home, all of the above things can go a long way to improving how your child views themselves.