My Sister the Warrior Queen! Metastatic Breast Cancer

Queen! MY SISTER THE WARRIOR Metastatic Breast Cancer

BY VANESSA HENDERSON

When I think about the word survival, the first thing that comes to mind is my sister Tina, Chesapeake, Beverly, Dr. Bev, and the list could go on. The one thing that I know is that she was a true warrior and a fighter for the last four years of her life. But on July 3, 2020, she gained her wings and return to our Heavenly Father. She had metastatic breast cancer (MBC). She lived her life knowing and dealing with its effects. She was a powerful woman; she educated herself on the effects of metastatic breast cancer and prepared her life accordingly. I never saw her shedding tears of sorrow. She even told us; her children and siblings that she did not want us to cry over her departure. “No crying for me”, she said.

Metastatic breast cancer is a little-known cancer to many women, but a cancer that does a lot of damage to the body and has no cure. Although Tina knew there was no cure, she kept living and enjoying her life.

Metastatic breast cancer can start months or years after you have finished treatment for an earlier-stage cancer. They call this a distant recurrence. Once the cancer has reached other organs, it forms new tumors. Treatments like surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy helps in removing or killing cancer cells. But sometimes, they can leave a few cancer cells behind. Even a single cancer cell can grow into a new tumor that spreads to other parts of your body.

This happened to my sister. She went through a lot with her fight, but she always kept believing that she could beat this monster. We were believers with her, and because she kept going, so did we. We learned a lot about trusting God, keeping the faith, and ultimately dealing with death,

“Gracefully.” Losing a sibling puts you in survival mode. Her last request was to have no funeral, no memorial, or final viewing. But, prior to her death, she asked all her siblings to come and spend her last week with her and we all shared our memories and love for each other. Now we can only keep her memory alive as she left us with no closure to her life. We can only remember her from her photos and the last conversations she had with us.

I am shedding tears, as I am writing this article for you, my sister. I, too, have been in survival mode. I am doing all that I can to survive missing the body that housed you. Although, I know that you are with me, in spirit! But I am finding it hard to survive, without attending your funeral or memorial. It’s like you just vanished!

Here are some key points about metastatic breast cancer and how it travels throughout the body: • Bones. Breast cancer travels to the bones through the bloodstream. The ribs, spine, pelvis, and long bones of the arms and legs are the most common bones that breast cancer reaches. Bone, pain, and tenderness are signs that the cancer is in your bones. Breast cancer cells can also get into bone marrow, the spongy tissue inside bones where blood cells are made.

• Liver. Cancer cells can get into the liver through the bloodstream because the liver filters the blood. • Lungs. The lungs are another common site for metastatic breast cancer to spread because your blood flows through them to pick up oxygen. • Brain. Any type of breast cancer can spread to the brain, but HER2-positive and triple-negative cancers are most likely to reach this organ. Signs of cancer in the brain include headaches, seizures, vision changes, and dizziness.

The brain is where her cancer traveled. She was still in survival mode even while she was in hospice. She continued to have hope that she would beat it. First, the doctor told her she had two months left. Two days later, her daughter called me to say that the time they gave her has been cut down to a week or less. Our family all traveled, during the pandemic, to be by her side during her last days. Truly from this loss our family has learned what survival really means. Because we just lost our daddy a few months earlier. Survival does not just affect the one with the illness, it affects all the people involved. Our family is still in survival mode.

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