9 minute read
Brave & Beautiful – Interview with Esme Chapman
Brave & Beautiful
Esme Rose Chapman is a tough cookie. Illustrator, model and daughter of MATCHESFASHION Founders Ruth & Tom Chapman, she’s a true testament to beauty and the steely determination and drive that can exist beneath
What do your first 30 mins of the day look like, your morning routine? I usually get up around seven in the morning. I struggle with insomnia so it’s super important for me that I have a fairly regular sleep-wake routine. If I’m in the same city as my dogs the first thing I always do is go and wake them up and cuddle them. Then I drink my lemon water to rehydrate. I have a rebounder which is like a tiny trampoline. Most days I’ll put on some music and go gently jump on that for 10 minutes to stimulate my lymphatic system and have some really gentle movement in the morning. I can’t handle other forms of exercise but rebounding really doesn’t require much, it’s very low impact and easy. No matter how much sleep I’ve got the night before my morning always tends to look this way because even when I’m struggling these are the practices that re-centre me. Can you tell us in your own words what changed for you in 2018? I had just moved to New York to start studying Psychology at NYU. I was only beginning to settle in when about three weeks into being there I suddenly had acute pain in my abdomen. I was living in the East Village and I took myself to the nearest emergency room. It’s a strange moment to recount because I was so unaware at this point how drastically my life course was going to be altered. A er many hours of morphine and the most astonishing amount of pain, I was diagnosed with volvulus of my colon that needed immediate emergency surgery. I should have been back at school fairly quickly, but it soon became clear that I wasn’t recovering as expected. I spent that week hallucinating, tachycardic, and hardly lucid and received an incredibly low quality of care during this time. I had contracted septi-
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caemia during the operation, which requires urgent treatment, or it quickly becomes lifethreatening. Yet it was le undetected and untreated for days by the hospital despite my parents voicing concerns and asking repeatedly if I was septic. Eventually, the doctors realized I was very sick, and a er a week with these symptoms I was taken in for another emergency surgery and placed into ICU. The doctors didn’t listen to me when I woke up and told them I could feel water in my lungs.
My parents tried to transfer me to another hospital but were told several times I would not make the journey. It was clear at that time that though moving me presented a risk, staying in that hospital under the care I was receiving posed a greater risk to my life. Thankfully, due to help and support from wonderful friends and their doctors, I was blue lighted by ambulance to a good hospital on Madison Avenue where doctors attempted to save my life. Six surgeries later, and having spent six weeks in intensive care, I was transferred onto a regular ward. I truly believe that the amount of love and support I was surrounded by, had a profound e ect on helping to heal me, and I’m forever grateful to the people who showed up for me. I’m also so grateful to the incredible doctors, surgeons and nurses who saved my life and put me back together again. How did going through this a ect you personally in terms of priorities and the direction you wanted to go in life? The past three years have been very challenging in terms of my health. I’ve su ered from severe post-sepsis syndrome and that’s caused some unpleasant neurological symptoms that have meant I haven’t been able to return to university. As a really curious person who loves learning, initially, this was di cult for me to accept. However, through this experience, I’ve been redirected onto a di erent path and I’ve ended up learning more about myself and the world, than I would had I attended university. I’ve done so much self-reflection and internal work that I would have otherwise never have got to until much later in life. As unrelenting and dark as illness can be, I think in some ways it can be an opportunity for expansion because you’re forced to confront every part of yourself. I believe that ultimately this experience will come to inform what I end up doing in life, though I’m still figuring out how. From the initial prognosis to where you are now, what kind of determination did it take to get to where you are? Of all the things I’ve learnt about myself, it’s that I have a sheer determination and will to survive and bring myself back to health. I’ve realised I have incredible selfdiscipline and am so committed to applying that energy to what I do with the rest of my life. mind, through my diet. Anyone who’s close to me knows I love to eat an abundance of fresh fruit and vegetables every day. I’m always juicing and making delicious smoothie bowls for my friends whenever they come over. Do you have any mentors or guides and how does this help you navigate the right path? Diane Von Furstenburg has been a wonderful mentor for me. Some days its challenging not to see my mindset dri or get caught up in where my identity lies beyond struggling with my health. Diane always reminds me it’s important to never be a victim in your own life and not give my power to anything or anyone. She reminds me that no matter what I am facing my strength and capacity to overcome it is far more powerful. She hasn’t just impacted my approach to my health, but so many aspects of my life. I’m much more conscious now than I was few years ago, about who I give access to in my life, and how I allow people to treat me. Anthony William, The Medical Medium, has opened his arms to me through this process. He has also provided me with so much In the most challenging moments – what kept knowledge and generosity that has allowed you going? My dogs! I find animals to be ex- me to move forward with powerful tools to tremely perceptive and sensitive. My dogs help navigate health challenges, and also always know when I’m having a di cult day the faith and trust that my body is always and give me extra love. Being around them working for me. He is so selflessly dedicated calms my nervous system and brings me so to helping the chronically ill and to watch much joy. Prayer for me has also been very his mission unfold is a privilege. transformative. I find it to be a form of medi- In hindsight what reflections do you have of tation. Whether we are religious or not, I be- this challenging time? Coming from London, lieve that it can help us to suspend ourselves where we are so fortunate to have a social welfrom our immediate environment and worries fare system that gives us the NHS, it didn’t to feel a deeper sense of wholeness, connect- cross my mind that in a country like America, edness and trust in the world. I’m also re- there would be drastic discrepancies in care ally lucky to have great friends who have been between hospitals depending on the kind of there and a solid family I can rely on. socio-economic neighbourhood they are in. What do you think is the key to healing and did The scales fell from my eyes about American you take any out of the box approaches to this health care. If my parents had not have known yourself? When you’re struggling with chronic people who understood the system, I would illness and Western medicine hasn’t provided not be alive today. I’m of course profoundly you any answers or solutions, you really dive grateful for that but it sickens me that had I deep into your own search for those answers. been less privileged, I wouldn’t be here. I take a holistic approach to my health. I be- What is next for you? I feel more aligned with lieve there are many facets to healing, whether the creative side of myself now, so I plan to that’s physical, emotional, spiritual. To me, explore various forms of creative expression. I ‘alternative’ medicine is the original medi- think particularly my generation are abandoncine. I always find that I feel lighter and have ing the idea that you need to commit to one a stronger sense of wellness whenever I’m able career path for life. I used to be very attached to be in the sunshine or reconnect with nature. to specific outcomes in my life, thinking I I’m really conscious of the quality of products needed this or that to feel a sense of fulfilment. I use in my environment, whether that’s cos- I feel more open now, and excited to foray back metic products or household products. I don’t into the world and see where it takes me. like to put anything on my body (whether This is ‘The Renegade Issue’, and we see thinkthat’s makeup or perfume or lotions) if there’s ing outside the box as a positive thing. Who for a long list of ingredients and chemicals of you is a renegade or when have you taken this which I don’t recognise the names. I’d much approach to life yourself? Thank you for inrather buy an aloe vera plant and use that to cluding me in ‘The Renegade Issue’. These last moisturize. Knowing the origin of everything few years have made me realise I am definitely I use is important to me and my health. I love an out of the box thinker. I’m not interested in natural ways I can keep a clean, safe environ- anyone else’s opinions on how I live my life. I ment for myself, for example filling my living admire anyone who challenges the status quo. room with spider plants to purify the air. A One of my favourite thinkers is Ayishat Akanpiece that has been fundamental for me and bi, @ayishat_akanbi. I really enjoy her openmy health is diet. What we eat essentially be- mindedness and her real desire for discussion comes us, and I’ve found tremendous healing around sensitive, complex topics. She is a comfor not only my physical body, but also my passionate voice in an o en-divisive world.
