a men’s life publication
mr. REPRESSED DEPRESSION IN MEN LGBTQ+ MEN IN HIP HOP AND RAP WORKING IN FEMALE-DOMINATED FIELDS
HOW MEN ARE NAVIGATING DOMESTIC ABUSE & SEXUAL ASSAULT ISSUE 01 WINTER 16/17
Bro-on-Bro Gifting
Whether it’s for the holidays or just because you want to show your bros a bit more love, here are some products that might just get you a few fist pumps or a bear hug…if you’re into that whole bromance thing. By Bianca Quijano
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Not only are these carry-ons lightweight, shockproof and beautifully designed, they’re also the smartest luggage in the market. It comes with an app that weighs the pack and allows you to keep track of its location within a 100 ft. range. It also comes with a removable compact battery and two USB ports. The app even estimates travel time to your home airport.
He betrays any categorization or label with this record. He defies binaries in his music—a reflection of his own persona. Ocean taps into the most current version of what it means to be queer in the 21st Century—being dynamic and greater than just a label, rather an everevolving motion of identity.
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In an interview with GQ in 2012, Ocean illustrated the way his music and sexuality are intertwined. “When you’re talking about romantic love, both sides in all scenarios feel the same shit…I’m giving you what I feel like you can feel. The other shit, you can’t feel. You can’t feel a box. You can’t feel a label.”
A food tour through one of Toronto’s culinary hotspots such as Kensington Market, Little India and Leslieville might just be the perfect day out for that foodie you know. Make sure their phones are charged – there will definitely be Instaworthy dishes throughout.
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In 2016, this sentiment is ever-present. Blonde references boys along with women, but it has never been the sole focus. It is about a feeling, an emotion, a chemical reaction and memories.
Bad Axe Throwing $44.25+
Maybe your bro just needs to let off some steam. How about axe throwing? Yup, you read that right. It’s one of the latest and biggest trends in the city. Once confined to backyard leagues, this underground sport has hit the mainstream. This centre even offers packages for birthdays and bachelor parties.
Fire TV Stick $30
Fire TV Stick $30 This new remote-control like device will help your bro binge-watch to his heart’s content. Simply plugged into your TV or laptop’s HDMI port, it lets you access over 250,000 shows from Netflix, HBO GO, Hulu, Showtime and more.
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for more information on where to find these gifts check out our website at mrmagazineofficial.wixsite.com/mr-publication
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This new remote-control like device will help your bro binge-watch to his heart’s content. Simply plugged into your TV or laptop’s HDMI port, it lets you access over 250,000 shows from Netflix, HBO GO, Hulu, Showtime and more.
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When Frank Ocean came out as gay, it was a revelation. The news came after 2012’s Channel Orange: a rare confession in the hyper masculine world of hip-hop and R&B. So, when Ocean announced a follow-up record that released this summer, there was immense soeculation on what it would entail. With Blonde, Ocean does the radical.
The Raden A50 Set $595
Culinary Adventure Co. Food Tour $25 - $100
the culture talk
Blonde’s first music video “Nikes,” is a testament to this. It is a collection of naked men and women dancing, freely and Ocean is clad in heavy makeup and glitter. His music and products are nuanced, nonconforming and elusive making him a queer visionary that is constantly challenging labels and notions of masculinity.
BLONDE by Frank Ocean By Sadiah Rahman
Single father?
By Yeye Zhu
Here are some things for you and your kids to do. Toronto Christmas
Hockey Hall of
Black Creek
Ranked one of the top 10 holiday markets in the world, the Toronto Christmas Market is a perfect place for dads and kids. Munch on festive food and enjoy the holiday decorations. There’s also a ferris wheel and carousel, a Santa’s house and a life-size gingerbread house. The market attracts hundreds of people daily.
Got some hockey fanatics in your family? Take ‘em to the Hockey Hall of Fame in downtown Toronto. It has one of the best ice hockey collections in the world, commemorating some of hockey’s most outstanding players. You might even get a chance to touch the famed Stanley Cup. At least your team gets to touch it!
This agricultural community at Toronto’s northern edge preserves a time long-ago. It gives kids a look at what life was like for 19th century Ontarians. It’s an alternative history lesson and loads of fun. Plus, you get to learn together. In December, the village lights up Christmas with lamplights, inviting visitors to see the candlight glow of the village.
Market
Fame
Pioneer Village
DEFINE WHAT IT IS TO BE A MAN
Chris Eng, 43 Writer I guess it means using my privilege to help women and people of all genders in the struggles that they face everyday.
Timothy Omere, 36 Nursing Student
Munir Salah, 29 Biochemistry Student
In this society when they portray To handle all of his responsibilities. masculinity you have to be strong. To take care of his family. To be You have to be tough. You don’t helpful to the society. have to show any emotion. I completely disagree with that. Knowing when to ask for help, when you need help. Photography by Yeye Zhu
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mr. Creators & Writers Sadiah Rahman Kaitlyn Smith Bianca Quijano Yeye Zhu
Design and Art Directors Sadiah Rahman Kaitlyn Smith
Photo Editor Sadiah Rahman
Production Manager Kaitlyn Smith
The cutting edge men’s life publication
Tnights his issue is the product of countless hours, sleepless and hard, dedicated work. You may be asking yourself why four fierce women appointed themselves as a designated voice for a progressive, cutting edge men’s magazine. To be frank, we ask ourselves why no one has. And so by creating this we answer the void. Our mission, vision (whatever you want to call it) comes down to equality and understanding masculinty comprehensively. Men cry, men have depression and men can be victims of sexual assault. And men find empowerment outside of social constructs and norms. We want to be the platform that showcases the diversity of the male, inclusively. Toxic masculinty is the root of countless downfalls of society. These are the stories of men who break traditional narratives of masculinty. Thank you to all the incredible men and women we worked with to produce our first issue of mr.
Web Developer & Content Manager Bianca Quijano Yeye Zhu
KAITLYN SMITH 03
SADIAH RAHMAN
BIANCA QUIJANO
YEYE ZHU
05-06
17-18
The Satellite Husband
Meet Alex Abramovich
What happens when women leave their families for a greater good?
Making Toronto’s shelter system safer for LGBTQ homeless youth.
COVER STORIES
07-08 Running to Nowhere
9-10
20-21
This is a (Wo)Man’s World
Radical Representation in Moonlight
Find out about men working in femaledominated work places.
How a movie changes the representation of queer black men in film
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27-28
Post-Partum Depression in Men
The Graduating Generation
It’s not just a “woman’s” issue.
Graduating men share their hopes, dreams and fears.
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29
Teaching Masculinity
Meet Our Cover Model
We must learn to teach boys healthy masculine ideals.
Check out our cover model, Leslie Oquendo and his strory.
The struggles and stereotypes of being a male domestic abuse victim
11-12 Repressed Depression It’s being called the “silent crisis,” the “sleeper issue,” it’s masked depression in men.
13-14 Breaking the Silence Telling the world you were sexually assualted isn't easy, especially when there's a lack of resources to help you.
22-24 Making Room How one gay man is navigating a genre notorious for its homophobia and hypermasculinity.
CONTENTS
04
The Satellite Husband Women are moving away to provide for their families...
and it's affecting families dynamics.
Leo and Cora Morbos have been married for 25 years, but have from Manila in a city called Imus. Leo was a supervisor in a jeepney been together for only 15. factory (Jeepneys are military vehicles left by American troops For a decade, Cora worked abroad as an Oversees Filipino Worker after World War II. They are the most popular form of public (OFW) spending two years in Hong Kong and then eight years in transportation in the Philippines). He also bought and sold cars Toronto. and kept a small convenience store. He earned a healthy living, “I didn’t want her to go abroad. We didn’t plan that together. which is why his wife’s decision surprised him. That being said, I guess she just wanted to explore,” Leo Leo supported Cora and embraced his new laughs. role as surrogate mother. “Leaving your own children Leo is part of a generation of Filipino men “It was really hard. Mark was 12, Kenneth to take care of other people’s was 10,” Leo says. “Even though their who have been forced to redefine traditional children is the most painful paternal and marital roles due to the exodus mother was not there we were happy. ” of Filipino women. These migrant workers Kenneth and Mark are now 22 and 23 years thing for us mothers. Staying send money or remittances to the families in touch is so important to get old. they leave behind. When their mother was away, Leo would through that pain.” According to a report released by the wake up at 4 am each day to cook for his Central Bank of the Philippines, remittances children and to send them off to school, all from OFWs totalled $17.6 billion during the first eight months of while working full time. Before Cora left, he didn’t even know how 2016, a four per cent increase from the previous year’s total. The to do basic chores. World Bank estimates that by the end of the year, the country will When Cora was abroad, she called and texted on a daily basis. She receive $29.1 billion in remittances. also went home once a year to visit the family. The couple credits Today, about half of the two million OFWs are women. In Canada, this steady communication as a reason why their family survived most serve as live-in caregivers- cheaper alternatives to traditional the separation. daycare and nursing homes. “Leaving your own children to take care of other people’s children Leo and Cora, along with their two sons, lived one hour away is the most painful thing for us mothers,” Cora says. “Staying in
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Photo by Mark Morbos / Leo (left) and Cora (right) Morbos
By Bianca Quijano
touch is so important to get through that pain.” On top of that, she knew that she was putting her marriage at risk. “Going away has clear benefits for the kids,” she says. “I was able to provide for them in a better way. But for the husband and wife, there is really no benefit. Despite this, she stayed abroad because she knew that eventually, her children and husband would be able to come to Canada for more stable prospects. Through Canada’s Live-In Caregiver Program (LCP) migrant workers are able to gain permanent residency status. Between 1992 and 2009, the LCP welcomed 52,503 caregivers, 90 per cent of which are Filipina women. In the span of four years, caregivers must work full time for two years after which they can apply for permanent residency. Then, they can petition for their families to join them. In July 2015, the family finally reunited in Toronto and settled in North York. Cora took a month off to help her family transition into their new lives. Leo and Cora say that it was a happy reunion. “I did not want to come here,” Leo says. “I had no choice. If I didn’t go my children would not be able to come… But I am still so happy and thankful that we’re finally together.” Divina Lopez, a Filipina-Canadian settlement counsellor with Settlement Assistance and Family Support Services says with their relatively smooth reconciliation, Leo and Cora are exceptions. “Most Filipino men who I’ve worked with feel quite degraded. They were not the main providers for a long time,” Lopez says. “Even coming here the wife would still be the main provider for the family.” Lopez says the men’s lowered confidence is just part of the reason why Filipino families fall apart even after they reunite. She says wives who came before their partners learn to be more assertive and often outgrow aspects of Filipino culture. “The husbands sometimes find it hard to match their growth,”
Lopez says. Cora experienced this maturity. “Before, I was scared to do things without my friends and family,” she says. “After all these years on my own, I learned to trust myself.” To recover their previous dynamic, Cora puts extra effort in doing the things that she used to do for Leo and her sons before she left, such as cooking for them each night. For Leo, his ongoing struggle is fitting into the Canadian way of life. Most men like him who come to Canada through the LCP are working class immigrants. This part of their identity means they face extra barriers, says Ahmed Allahwala, a professor of Human Geography at the University of Toronto. “There’s a certain class bias in the policy discourse,” says Allawala on Canadian immigration laws. “A lot of the conversation focuses on internationally trained professional immigrants like doctors and accountants. It’s driven by middle-class immigrant interests rather than working-class immigrant interests,” he says. Unlike highly-skilled workers, Leo and his peers have little government support to help them acclimate to their new environment. Now, he’s working at a factory polishing mechanical parts. Contrary to skilled immigrants expecting bigger prospects, Leo and his peers come to Canada knowing that they will be working in general labour for the rest of their lives. At 50 years old with only high-school level education, Leo accepted the fact that once again, he would have to disregard his own success and alter his way of life to advance his family. “Canada is a great country. I tell my sons to work hard because I see that here, they can really be successful,” Leo says. “For me, it’s like I’m climbing a mountain where I don’t know if I will ever reach the top.”
Photo by Mark Morbos / Leo (left) and Cora (right) Morbos
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RUNNING TO NOWHERE Outlining the struggles and stereotypes of being a male victim of domestic abuse.
By Yeye Zhu John Brown (name changed for privacy) slipped out of his house unbeknownst to his girlfriend at the time. The last straw was when she threatened to chop him with a kitchen knife two weeks earlier. According to the 2014 General Social Survey on Family Violence by Statistics Canada, the same portion of men and women (four per cent respectively) were reported to be victims of spousal violence within the first five years of their relationship. That means about 342,000 women and 418,000 men in Canada are suffering domestic(spousal) abuse. The public pays close attention to domestic violence, and offers all kinds of help to female victims. Toronto Police note on their website that, “Women who have been victimized by violence are a Toronto Police Service Priority.” However, there’s almost no support for men who need the same help. “Some of the men do contact the police,” says Justin Trottier, the Executive Director for the Canadian Centre for Men and Families (CCMF,). “Most of the time unfortunately, the police are not equipped to deal with men as victims,” he says. Trottier says police jump into a gender binary, dismissing men as victims because they are stereotypically the aggressors. Even if they have bruises, are bleeding, or have witnesses, they still get arrested, Trottier says. A lack of understanding and support from social institutions for male victims in domestic and spousal abuse is the main reason men refrain from speaking up or asking for help. And even after they start seeking assistance, the service they find is limited.
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Brown, 56, works as a management consultant professional in Newmarket. He was in a five-year relationship before he ran away from his ex-girlfriend last December. “I called three or four local shelters in Hamilton, and they said they didn’t accept men and they didn’t know who would,” he says. Brown proceeded to call shelters in Toronto and received the same answer. Many of them were trying to be helpful he says, but there were a few that dismissed his request. None of the shelters that CCMF is working with are dedicated domestic shelters for men. “There are several for women, not enough, but there’s zero for men,” Trottier says. Aside from limited services offered by community institutions, ego stunts men’s ability to recognize themselves as victims of spousal violence. Browns’s ex-girlfriend had a job working with children. In order not to ruin her professional career, he kept quiet. During their time together, verbal criticism and yelling escalated into bigger and more serious actions. His girlfriend started throwing things at him, such as glass and a frying pan, grabbing him by the shirt and yanking and pushing him. She eventually threatened him with a knife he says. “I also tried to minimize it,” Brown says. “Even the hitting, I didn’t see it as domestic violence. I think I’m strong so I can take it.” Brown has two children from his previous relationship. Even though they are adults now, he felt pressure to be the role model as the strong father. Brown didn’t tell anybody because he was ashamed. He was ashamed that he wasn’t able to fix the relationship, so he believed
it was his fault. “If I tell somebody, it’s like admitting failing in this Today, the environment for male victims isn’t where it should relationship.” be, but people are more aware of the issue and have contributed Finally, Brown talked to his sister Amy Brown, who’s a registered to its improvement. Douglas Scott Boulton is a membership conurse working in social services and specializes in psychiatric ordinating volunteer at the CCMF, soliciting grants from various mental health nursing. She was organizations for financial support. “It’s perhaps the only one who was able a challenging sell,” Boulton says. “The to understand his situation and help centre’s not been around for very long, him at that time. and we address issues that do not have Amy first noticed there was the benefit of the public’s attention.” something wrong when John Boulton’s working to make a difference stopped engaging with family in people’s lives and creating a better members. society, so he’s proud of what he’s doing. “We were sending emails to him, “Shelters, Legal Aid Ontario, Victim but didn’t get any response. Our Services and Toronto Police, all of those mom says he wasn’t calling her. groups have invited us to come in and Nobody was really connecting with do workshops,” Trottier says. him,” she says. Amy believes this was Part of the workshop is to educate men due to his abusive relationship. and people who deal with men that “From my knowledge, people men can come forward as victims, and Amy Brown who are abused isolate themselves they should speak out when they need from friends, family and supportive to. They also invite the victims to share people. John, especially being a their experience as a way to encourage male, was shamed about disclosing other men to break the barriers and his situation. So instead of saying anything, he just avoided sharing express their own stories. with us.” For those who share their stories to others, it’s a way of healing. “Reaching out to somebody that understands is important,” John “Talking about my experience is very therapeutic,” Brown says. says. “I’ve heard lots of stories that those men reach somebody who “Every time I talk about it… it helps me to heal some of the hurt don’t understand, and they were set back into the fray.” and the pain that I feel from having been in that situation.”
John, especially being a male, was shamed about disclosing his situation. So instead of saying anything, he just avoided sharing with us.
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THIS IS A By Bianca Quijano
I
t’s a storyline that guarantees a few laughs. In the film Daddy Day Care, Eddie Murphy plays a goofy father who starts his own daycare centre. In Meet the Fockers, Ben Stiller stars as a fumbling male nurse. Men working in female-dominated professions are often presented as punchlines. However, the reality of their experience is far more complex. Daniel Gosson, 33, has worked as an early childhood educator for 10 years. He is the manager of Monarch Manor Childcare Centre in Toronto. “When I told my family what I wanted to do, they wondered why I was going to college to get a diploma in babysitting,” Gosson says. Michael Rigor, 31, is a charge nurse at Lakeridge Health Oshawa. He has been a nurse for seven years. “I’m kind of like a girl mechanic,” Rigor says. “I’m bending a stereotype.” Ian Alagadan, 25, has been working as a nurse for only one year at the University Health Network in Toronto. He faces similar reactions. “Sometimes when patients meet me for the first time they ask me if I’m their doctor or surgeon,” Alagadan says. According to a 2011 report by Statistics Canada, men account for 10 per cent of registered nurses in the country. The same report shows that men make up only 3.5 per cent of the country’s
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Annual income for nurses
$70,000 for Men $60,000 for Women Data from Associated Press, 2015
BY 2022 country will be lacking
60,000 full-time registered nurses
demand of men in nursing
Data from the Canadian Nurses Association
Percentage of ECEs in early childhood centres
82% Percentage of ECEs in primary schools.
15% Data provided by Service Canada
Early Childhood Education (ECE) workforce. According to Mary Fisher, program chair of the ECE program at Seneca College in Toronto, although the numbers are still low, more and more men are entering these gender atypical careers. With ECE, the creation of the College of Early Childhood Educators in 2008 resulted in more regulation over the practice, giving it more credibility. “When people see men doing ‘women’s work’ they think we are lowering ourselves,” Gosson says. “This increased professionalism eases the stigma for men entering the field.” Fisher says that the face of the profession is slowly changing. “Men are not only accepted now, they are valued. They bring that much-needed male perspective into a classroom
(Wo)MAN’S WORLD and a professional team,” Fisher says. In fact, men working in these traditionally female professions experience certain advantages. Rigor says. Compared to his female counterparts, he is seen as a more trusted authority. “Sometimes I’ll say the exact same thing that a colleague says and patients, even doctors, are more complacent with me,” Rigor says. That being said, men still face challenges in these careers that their female counterparts are spared from. Alagadan finds it difficult to connect with his patients after a lifetime of conforming to expectations of how a man should display his emotions. “I find myself appearing to be less caring than my female counterparts. I find it hard to act masculine while being empathetic,” Alagadan says. As a charge nurse, Rigor has authority as a team leader for his unit. Despite this, he still has to prove his abilities. From time to time, patients and family members request a female nurse to replace him. “People sometimes assume that I don’t know what I’m doing, that men are not as gentle as women,” Rigor says. Working in childcare centres, Gosson faces similar misconceptions. Parents have requested specifically for their children not to be in his classroom and for him to not change their diapers or be left alone with their children. Even potential employers shared these notions. “One centre flat out told me, ‘We don’t hire men. That’s just creepy,’ when I showed up for an interview,” Gosson
says. Fisher adds that once her male students begin working, their perspectives or different ways of practicing may not be acknowledged by their female colleagues. During their education, she says that these obstacles are discussed explicitly. At Seneca College, students can attend panels featuring men working in ECE. Even so, Fisher says that this still does not address the main issue with traditionally female-dominated post-secondary programs. “Most of the people teaching are mostly women as opposed to men,” Fisher says. Rigor and Alagadan studied nursing at Ryerson University in Toronto. They agree the only difference between the training that men and women go through is the emphasis on sexual impropriety. “They really drill it into us to be careful when touching the opposite sex,” Rigor says. According to Rigor, there is insufficient support and gender-sensitive training for male students in these female-dominated programs. Once they graduate, these men are not entirely prepared to tackle the specific challenges that come with their gender atypical roles. In spite of the adversity, Gosson, Rigor and Alagadan enjoy their work. They love helping others, even if some see them as lesser men for it. “It’s funny because a lot of kids still don’t know gender pronouns,” Gosson says. “So I do have one girl who routinely calls me Miss Daniel.”
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It’s being called the ‘silent crisis.’ The ‘sleeper issue.’ It’s masked depression in men.
The Great Repression By Kaitlyn Smith
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Sam Fiorella is forcing himself to talk about his son and depression: “It’s not easy for me as a man,” he says. Fiorella, co-founder of the Friendship Bench, an organisation that encourages secondary and postsecondary schools to talk about mental health, lost his son, Lucas, to suicide two years ago. As a result, Fiorella employed himself as a support for family and friends, which caused him to neglect his own mental health. “As time passes I realize that not taking the time to grieve only exasperated my own grief,” Fiorella says who felt his physical and mental health waning at the time. Fiorella’s son, Lucas, was a student at Carleton University studying robotics. He had a good group of friends and a steady relationship with his girlfriend. When he died, the Fiorella family and their friends were bewildered – Lucas had said nothing and had shown no signs of depression. Lucas falls into a damning statistic. On their website, the Canadian Mental Health Association says that men account for four out of five suicides. Though women are more likely to be diagnosed with depression, men are more likely to die from it. “The mortality rate due to suicide among men is four times the rate among women,” says the CMHA online. Depression is a treatable disease, but is often ignored or passes unnoticed as in Fiorella’s case.
“I did fall into a depression myself for a while after my son’s death,” says Fiorella who still struggles with bouts of depression. “It was when I noticed others getting better and that I was getting worse, that I realized I had to start focusing a little more on myself.” Fiorella’s mental illnesses went unnoticed; however, he realized that the pressures of being a support for his family wasn’t a healthy, long-term coping mechanism. “In general it’s no question that it’s harder for men,” Fiorella says. “Sharing feelings is more difficult for men and we do have societal and cultural pressures to be ‘the man of the house’.” He’s talking about the stigma men struggle with when facing their own mental illnesses. “The general stigma is that men should not show weakness,” says Don McCreary, an independent men’s health consultant who studies and educates people on the topic. As a consequence, men dismiss having depression, as they might appear weak or inferior to outsiders, he says. Dr. John Ogrodniczuk, a Psychiatry professor at the University of British Columbia and a member of HeadsUp Guys, a group focused on helping men with depression, attributes these problems to masculinity. “Gender socialization can be good things about masculine aspects that men buy into and bad things,” Ogrodniczuk says. The “bad things” he mentions about masculinity (commonly known as “toxic masculinity”) are instilled in men at a young age from external figures like parents or friends. Once the roots of manliness have deepened, the affects can be devastating. Studies have captured one such affect. They’ve found that, though men accept depression as a legitimate illness in other men, individuals are less likely to accept their own depression. In other words, “men are much harder on themselves,” says Ogrodniczuk. The consequences of this stigma follow men in various areas, from the research done on men’s mental health to treatment for it. “[We have to] understand that there is no one man in terms of one man’s mental health,” McCreary says. There are at-risk groups that fall outside the average that may need different attention, he says. “You have to work with that community to develop better intervention strategies.” Dr. Michael Myers, a clinical professor at SUNY-Downstate Medical Center in Brooklyn, NY and practicing psychiatrist says stigma follows men into the doctor’s office. A physician may not fully grasp why a patient delayed going for help, or why they aren’t so forthcoming says Myers. Education and awareness are the best combatants to the stigma men with depression battle, McCreary says. Work done by educators and activists in the mental health community have progressed the conversation and appearance of depression in men. “What [Fiorella] is doing is not only important, it really helps people on their journey of healing,” Myers says. After Lucas died, Fiorella says he felt like he had to stifle the hurt and pain of his loss to support his family. “You can’t remain silent,” he says.
ONLY
50%
of men who suffer
report having depression
4/5 In
24
suicides are
men
hrs
8 men die of suicide
In New South Wales, Australia
suicide has been the leading cause of death in men.
It over took car accidents in 1991. Statistics provided by Canadian Mental Health Assocation, LifeLine Canada, Toronto Men's Health Network and World Health Organization
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Breaking the Silence Illustration by Hope Smylie
Telling the world you were sexually assaulted isn't easy. Especially when there's a lack of resources to help you. By Sadiah Rahman
J
ean-Paul Bedard, 50, had come to a brink before he told his wife and son about being sexually abused and raped by a man when he was a child. “I believed intuitively that if I didn’t start talking about this or get some help for it that I was going to start drinking and drugging again,” Bedard says. “I knew very quickly that if I didn’t that I would lose my wife and my son and basically I would have nothing...You know, trying to kill myself again. It wasn’t an option anymore.” Online, Statistics Canada says, “male victims of sexual assault were more often victimized by family members other than spouses or exspouses and by friends and acquaintances, in comparison to female sexual assault victims.” Rape is notoriously underreported for both women and men due to a multitude of reasons. They include issues with safety, lack
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of understanding, victim blaming and fear of reprisal, the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) reported. It’s something victims hold in and let rot away at their heart. It’s what Bedard, author, advocate, and athlete, had kept in for decades before he reached his breaking point. That point looked like depression, addiction, alienation and suicidal thoughts. “When I was a teenager I really got heavy and did drugs and alcohol. No one knew why or what was going on or what had happened. Then I was married and I finally decided that I needed to come forward and start talking about this with my family because they watched me suffer for years and they didn’t really know what was going on,” Bedard says. The rape and sexual abuse he experienced as a child, affected Bedard’s development and his identity. For a long time, he kept his story in, fearing that if he told people, they would
assume he was gay, something fairly common when the perpetrator and victim are both males. “I know that this is not an issue today in my life, but at the time it was part of the stigma I was worried about. I was so terrified that someone would think that this is me,” Bedard says. “Childhood sexual abuse is quite different from sexual violence when you are a little older. Not better or worse it’s just different. There’s also a difference between childhood sexual abuse if you’re a woman or a man and it has a lot to do with the perpetrators.” Even after he was happily married for nearly a decade, Bedard carried his abuse with him years before he told his wife. He told her three years ago. Bedard realized how young his son was - a pivotal moment for his son and him. He realized how young and naive his son was to the harsh realities of sexual assault and
wanted him to know the truth. “He’s just a young kid, he doesn’t know any better,” Bedard says. When Bedard’s son was the same age as he was when he was sexually abused, Bedard realized that he was not at fault for what had happened to him, which lifted some weight off him. “As I started to unpack my own trauma, I started to question a lot of these misconceptions. And as I did my own research, therapy and investigation, I realized that these things are absolutely not true,” he says. So Bedard took the initiative and has since become a writer, public speaker and advocate against sexual abuse. Helives in Toronto and travels for work. When Bedard first reached out for help, he realized there was a lack of resources for men. Kiran Brar, program manager at Victim Services Toronto, works closely with male victims of sexual assault. She admits there’s a lack of understanding when it comes to male victims. “In Toronto, there are about 1,236 social services that are agencies geared towards victims. And barely 15-20 of them are specialized services for men. It’s a long history of gender bias system we live in,” Brar says. “Men traditionally have a very hard time coming out,” as they believe that since they have been abused it is combined with their sexual identity as well, Brar says. “[A] majority of the men will say that if I’m abused, that’s possibly because I am gay,” Brar says. “The culture of victim blaming and gender biases surface to determine the fate of male victims. These biases include notions of manhood, hyper-masculinity and authority.” However, there are grassroots efforts taking place to combat these notions. Kevin Vowles is a community engagement manager with the White Ribbon Campaign in Toronto. His work involves raising awareness among young boys and men about this subject matter through speeches, sitting on panels, doing presentations at school conferences along with curriculum development. Vowles and his team focus on working with men and boys to build cultures of consent. They focus on the ways that “men and boys can be positive role models to other men and boys and model a different form of masculinity that is not around power, control but rather showing our adherence and dignity as men,” Vowles says. To Vowles, a lot of the victim-blaming and sexual abuse problem lies in a culture of misunderstanding and raising boys with an entitled state of mind. Vowles work includes questioning “cultures of entitlement that exist around men and boys feeling that they can have access to women’s bodies, that they can cross peoples boundaries with physical, sexual or even verbal assault, and we’re working around the premise that boys actually and men actually in their best selves want to act out consent.”
Jean-Paul Bedard / photographed by Inge Johnson
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Post-Partum Depression in Men
It’s not just a “woman’s” issue.
L By Yeye Zhu
emord Anderson has been married for eight years. Last year, he became the general manager at CIBC. He had his first kid in February because he thought it was the right time. Now, holding his eight-month-old son, he says it’s actually better than what he imagined. “It’s nice to see someone that you are responsible for, and he’s part of you. This person relies on you for care, guidance, advice, and so on. You can see them build their own individuality,” says Lemord. However, not all fathers are as prepared as Anderson. Some see having babies as surprises or gifts so they accept them. But those who are not prepared may find it difficult to enjoy the experience. According to Bernadette Kint, the manager of Child Health and Development at Toronto Public Health, postpartum depression can happen during pregnancy or within one year after giving birth. “Postpartum depression is really not that different from depression at any other time. The only thing women do experience a slightly more is the symptoms of anxiety. ” Kint says. The symptoms are very similar to normal depression says Kint. Feelings include a ‘low’ mood, sadness, irritability, restlessness and a lack of motivation in things the person used to find enjoyable. About 10 per cent of fathers in Canada suffer from postpartum depression says Kint. But very few of them are diagnosed and given care. Dad Central Ontario is a nonprofit consulting organization that provides training and resources for programs working with fathers and families. “Fathers are supposed to be strong and not show any weakness,” says Brian Russell, the provincial coordinator of Dad Central Ontario. “Also they don’t get asked very often.” Even if they do seek help, there is not as much support from social institutions for fathers as there is for mothers. Toronto Public Health provides various parenting programs for couples who are about to have children. It also offers special sessions for mothers to deal with depression during pregnancy and after giving birth. Fathers can attend classes to learn how to recognize if the new mother is suffering from depression. But classes for fathers experiencing postpartum depression are not available. “The women will go through a process, we make an assessment, we give a referral, we then give them one-on-one support,” Kint
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says as she introduces their depression adjustment program. Pregnant mothers diagnosed with depression will gather as a group for a 12-week assisting class. Their partners will be invited to some of the classes, as well. “Then we will bring up the topic of postpartum depression possibility in the men,” she says. After the father’s consultation, they will refer them for further treatment. There are many reasons why fathers may develop postpartum depression, Kint says and the largest contributor is feeling excluded from the relationship between the mother and the baby. “The mother and the baby had the reason to be close and together, and the father will just go to work and come home, so he’s not getting a lot of joy out of it.” She says that fathers are more likely to enjoy parenting once the baby starts to respond to them. Not wanting to spend time at home is a major symptom of postpartum depression in men, Russell says. They tend to work more or make excuses to leave home because it has turned into a place that makes them feel depressed and overwhelmed. The transition into fatherhood isn’t easy. In order to be prepared and be better parents, Anderson and his wife tried to eat healthier. They even reduced their alcohol consumption and stopped going to clubs, despite their love for music. “I make sure I’m involved with my wife and my child. I would advise other husbands to take care of their wives, make sure they go to classes together and that they are part of the process,” Anderson says. There’s also a mutual occurrence of depression among new parents. Russell says that if the mother is suffering from postpartum depression, the father has a 50 per cent chance of getting the same problem. “Dads burn a lot of energy physically and emotionally looking after the mom (who has depression), and holding the family together,” Russell says. “When mom gets better, that’s when father starts to feel depressed.” According to Kint, anyone who stays with a negative thinker will be affected and start to feel sad. Russell says many fathers are not aware they are suffering from depression. It’s not until the child is three or four years old that some fathers look back and realize that they were actually suffering from different degrees of anxiety and depression. According to Russell, if the fathers don’t get proper guidance and treatment during that time, the sadness may grow into anger issues. They may become alcoholic, violent or even addicted to drugs. As a result, the children may be affected and feel depressed when they grow up. Now, Anderson is preparing for his second child. This time, he wants a girl. “I don’t look at it as pressure, you always can make sacrifices in your life,” Anderson says. “Whenever we are going to have our next child, it’s not going to be ‘can we afford it?’ It’s going to be ‘alright, we are ready!’ and make some sacrifices.”
Teaching Masculinity By Kaitlyn Smith
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he kind of men society breeds depends on what and how we teach boys. In 2012, Statistics Canada found that by 15, boys “trailed behind” girls in their performance at school. They show weaker results than girls in standardized testing who made up a greater number of students with the highest scores. Boys also do more poorly over all. In a class, almost 39 per cent of boys have an 80 per cent average, while a higher per cent of girls attain the same grade or higher. On the opposite end of the spectrum, boys account for a higher percentage of students who achieve a 60 per cent average or lower. Jennifer Oungphonxay is a teacher and mother of two. She has been teaching for two years now spending her time divided between her job and caring for her two boys. Her eldest is six and the younger is only five months old. Oungphonxay finds her male students to be more hands-on learners. “They like stuff that captures their attention,” she says. Oungphonxay gears her lesson plans to capture attention and integrate it into the lesson to keep some of the boys focused. The ones who tend to do the worst in school are aggressive she says: “They can’t focus as long or have a low attention span.” The Center for Disease Control and Prevention finds that boys between the ages of five and 17 are over two times more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD than girls. In the U.S. boys are two times more likely to be suspended and four times more likely to be expelled from school. With their low performance in school and the increasing aggressive nature (both at school and away) in boys, we have to wonder what the problem is. At a young age, boys and girls are looking for an identity. Psychologists, educators and advocates suspect that forced identities of femininity and masculinity found in a gender binary can encourage negative effects in various aspects of children’s lives. For example, the themes of hyper-masculinity or strict ideals
We must learn to teach boys healthy ideals of what it means to be a man.
on what it means to be a man can be problematic for how young boys respond to their education and the resulting habits they develop in school. Diane Yip holds a Masters in Psychology and works at Centennial College’s Morningside Campus as a counselor. She says teaching exclusively male traits can limit a boy’s development. The hyper-masculine traits like “boys don’t cry” and “boys are tough” can repress attributes like empathy and other emotions. The internalized stigma, when implemented strongly enough, can affect men’s mental, physical and emotional well being. “They’re not expected to express [their] emotional side,” Yip says. “They’re being encouraged to be ‘manly’.” Urban street dancer and dance teacher, Paul ‘Kaze’ Thurton doesn’t believe teaching boys to be men is harmful to them. “The sooner they can find an identity the sooner they have time within themselves to conquer whatever it is they need to conquer,” says Thurton, who opened his dance studio, Simply Swagg in Scarborough in 2009. “It helps build identity and can boost self-esteem,” Yip says. “It’s the consequences of the super-masculine way that can put them at risk.” Outside the classroom, Ounphongxay finds that boys are generally more aggressive when they play with each other. They like wrestling or acting out certain things like video games or television shows with some type of violence. Whether it’s in academics or athletics, boys are bombarded as girls are with images – images they are meant to or feel pressured to adhere to. But many boys feel stuck in a rigid identity that conflicts with their own personality and interest. “Usually there are a few odd boys [who] don’t participate,” Oungphonxay says. “They tend to play with the girls.” Oungphonxay encourages her own five-year-old son to explore without strict rules on what he can and cannot play. “For me, I allow my son to just play with whatever he wants,” she says. “Sometimes he’ll gravitate to want to play with girls’ stuff.” As a result of exploring, some kids are bullied for expressing themselves. “In the younger grades, they’re so young so they kind of accept them, but there is some division,” Oungphonxay says. “As they get older that’s when they start dividing themselves and not playing with the other boys.” Everyone can attest to how difficult it is to create an identity and it doesn’t help when there are standards to live up to. Especially standards you may not agree with. Though Thurton may believe men should be men and women should be women, he wants to create a space for kids free of judgment to develop into who they are. “I let them be who they are. Let them know (they) can be strong,” Thurton says. You’re trying to build a strong man, not an arrogant man or a barbarian,” Thurton says.
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photo by Kaitlyn Smith, location Hart House, University of Toronto St. George Campus
Alex Abramovich Meet the man reforming Toronto’s shelter system for LGBTQ youth. By Kaitlyn Smith In his lifetime, independent researcher Dr. Alex Abramovich has come out to his family twice. He first came out as gay to his family in his early 20s, but keeps the challenges of his story under wraps. After all the work he and his family have done to reconnect he doesn’t want to bring up old, negative feelings. “I didn’t have support, but my parent’s never stopped loving me which I think is key,” Abramovich says. 10 years later, Abramovich had a second coming out just after starting his PhD at St. Michael’s Hospital in Toronto. This time as a trans-man. Coming out as trans had its own challenges. Abramovich said it
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complicated things with his colleagues who didn’t understand and weren’t very respectful of the transition. For two years now, Abramovich has worked for the Centre of Mental Health and Addiction, researching and advocating for LGBTQ homeless youth in Toronto. His work has led to policy changes in youth shelters, from the intake process to transitional housing. Abramovich says his own experiences have motivated his research and are the reason he’s been able to help so many LGBTQ homeless youth in Toronto. “Because of what I’ve gone through, I feel like I can relate to the participants,” he says. “They need someone who resembles them.” When Abramovich first came out to his family in 2000, he did some digging into the resources available for LGBTQ youth with
unsupportive homes and, finding few to none available, realized just how easy it is for LGBTQ youth to end up homeless. Beginning his PhD, Abramovich reached out to shelters, agencies and services for homeless youth in Toronto to study the presence and problems the LGBTQ community face there. The agencies met him with rejection. However, they said that if Abramovich could provide data that would show there was an issue then they would consider his recommendations. “I realized there was a problem before I started to do this research,” Abramovich says. He just needed to prove it to others and the only way to do so was with evidence. Evidence building led to the acquaintance and his eventual friendship with Teal-Rose Jaques. Previously homeless, Jaques was recommended to a video project with Abramovich in 2010. Now an employed community worker with LGBTQ youth, Jaques recounted the conflict she experienced maneuvering through the shelter system for five years. Employees’ refusal to accept her name change and other issues around Jaques’s non-binary gender fluidity, unfairly segregated her from quality care, she explains. Already on her way to improving shelter policies, Jaques says Abramovich showed her to use storytelling as a means to affect change. “Alex showed me that I can educate others by sharing my experience and continuing with things like trans 101s,” she says. “He has a strong view in empowering people who have been left behind and forgotten.” Abramovich also had a hand in effecting nation-wide change. Last year, Abramovich advised the government of Alberta on LGBTQ youth homelessness issues. Five out of six of his recommendations were adopted, an accomplishment he’s very proud of. He played a large role in Toronto’s LGBT Toolkit, which trains longterm care home staff to provide better quality care to LGBT-identified clients. His research helped lay the foundation of two city-funded transitional housing apartments tailored to homeless LGBTQ people. And, with the help of his growing media popularity, Abramovich has become the face of a changing shelter system in Toronto. People outside the LGBTQ community produce great research, but those within the community apply a “particular kind of knowledge and experience that’s valuable,” says Dr. Lori Ross from Researching LGBTQ Health. Abramovich reached out to Ross for his post-doctorate placement at CAMH in 2014. She recognizes his commitment to his work. “I feel deeply respected at CAMH as a researcher and I feel that the hospital has really taken the time to understand my research and promote my work,” Abramovich says. “I’ve never felt more respected in the workplace than I do here.” Abramovich’s number one fan, though, is his wife, Caroline Senger. Abramovich met Senger in 2010 at the Queer Slow Dance hosted by the Dovercourt House in downtown Toronto. Abramovich says the dances are nice, if you
like cheesy events and slow-dancing. She had a positive influence on him: “I’d never been in such a loving relationship,” he admits. When they first started dating, Abramovich was afraid his busy schedule would affect their relationship. As their affections deepened, Senger instilled confidence in Abramovich who further embraced his identity as a trans-man. This had a significant affect in the reparations he would make with his family. When his family saw the life he was making, and how passionate he was about his work “it helped them see that I’m okay,” Abramovich says. In this, something shifted. “Perhaps coming out meant I would be a different person,” says Abramovich, describing what he believes might have been the potential fear and reason for his family’s disapproval. “I’m still the same person,” he told them, not so much in words, but in action. Senger stood beside Abramovich through his transition, which he says has never been a conflict in their relationship. She was there for every doctor’s appointment, every road bump, every tumult of emotion that comes with transitioning he says. Their biggest challenge would come in the shape of, now, 3-monthold, baby Noah (seen in the picture to the left and below). “We had to fight so hard for her,” Abramovich says. Abramovich is passionate about his work, and grateful for every opportunity, every transition to better shelters for LGBT people. But, there’s a parent’s tone in the type of role model and education he is excited to provide for his child in the future. “I just want to be a role model in her life; someone who she’s not afraid of. I don’t want her to ever be afraid to be herself however hard it can be in this world,” he says. And Abramovich isn’t tired to change it either. “(He’s) given people a sense of control over their lives,” says Jaques. “He gives them a voice.”
From left Alex Abramovich holds 4-month-old baby Noah, beside his wife Caroline Senger. / photo by Kaitlyn Smith
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Arts and Culture
Arts & Culture
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Photo by Sadiah Rahman
Arts and Culture
The radical representation in “Moonlight.” By Sadiah Rahman
Three gay black men reflect on sexuality and masculinity in light of a film acclaimed as a groundbreaking portrayal of identity and experience.
Photo by Sadiah Rahman
Olu Seye was born and raised in Nigeria. At the age of 16, Seye’s family decided to move to Canada to begin a new life. Now, at 30 years old, Seye works as an artist influenced by his culture and its intersectionality with masculinity, sexuality and identity. “I guess through an intersectional exploration, I’m sort of trying to give a more wholesome comprehensive view of what black male identity is,” Seye says. This comprehensive identity Seye speaks about is hard to
find in film. Generations of misrepresented black males in Western film have skewed notions of what it means to be black and male. And these stereotypical portrayals are not hard to ignore–a vast pool of academics and university programs exist to deconstruct these notions. For example, the absent father and single mom, thugs and violence and the incarceration of black males. Dr. Rinaldo Walcott, director of the Women & Gender
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Arts and Culture Studies Institute at the University of Toronto, says many of these Western portrayals are based on some empirical truth that then morph into stereotypes. “That empirical truth became a totalizing narrative, making other narratives disappear. It’s not to say that across the black world, across the black diaspora that there are not communities where fathers are absent and so on. But it’s to say that that’s not how all black diaspora, all black masculinity is experienced and understood,” Walcott says. So when is there accurate and fair representation? This question is hard to answer, though recently a film has been making a lot of noise. Seye never believed that he would see what he did when he went to a film called Moonlight, directed by Barry Jenkins. The film is lauded as a groundbreaking depiction of black queerness, masculinity, abuse, friendship, coming-of-age and all the complexities that come with being a black male in the West. “With this movie, you see completely different aspects of gay black male identity. People quite often don’t think it exists because black men are so often expected to be super hard and that’s the image that’s presented that we are hard and aggressive and brute. But then on the other extreme is when it’s a gay black man, it suddenly has to be a very feminine man,” Seye says. “It’s almost like the media cannot reconcile that you can have a masculine black gay man so it always portrays the other side and usually over the top caricature (that) serves to foster laughter,” he says. Moonlight follows the life of Chiron, a black male who falls for another black male, in three chapters (young boy, teenager and then an adult male). The film explores Chiron through black male identity, sexuality and masculinity. It’s something that is rarely represented on feature length films, especially with such a visceral approach. “What’s interesting about the film is that the film brings to the scene some images of black men that are not often seen on the screen,” Walcott says. Rasheed Davis is a 20-year-old gay male from Philadelphia who calls the film a revelation. After watching the film, his twitter feed filled up
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with comprehensive thoughts. “(It’s) one of the most accurate representations that I’ve ever seen. Growing up in a urban area, I can relate to the different experiences. It wasn’t like your average “gay” movie. The way it renders personal experiences, the way it renders black masculinity was amazing,” Davis says in a phone interview. To Davis, seeing the film was an immensely unique experience. He says gay representation in film is mainly through a white character, and so when this movie shows a bond between two black males, it becomes incredibly powerful. “Times are changing. Some see it as a good thing, some see it as a bad thing. I think with films like this, it means that we are moving forward,” Davis says. Walcott, though, is hesitant about the praise the film has been receiving. He says the film should only be seen as a depiction of African-American masculinity since the scope of the black diaspora and masculinity is greater than just this film. He also notes that in celebrating the film, the lines can become more blurred. “One of the reasons why the film is so loved (by) so many people, black people included, have come to believe that black masculinity is a hard masculinity and a harsh masculinity. Then you get a film that is so tender and apparent to offer an alternative way of being in the world, that that becomes celebrated. We have to be very careful and not actually use the stereotypes that frame our actual social life as a way to read artistic work. We are bringing all the stereotypes we have about black men to this film, and because this film, in some ways, counters that, then we are like ‘wow,’ this is groundbreaking,” Walcott says. Nevertheless, the three men agree that the film is different and historical. “I really think that’s what made this movie amazing. It was nice to see a movie with an all-black cast, I’ll be honest about that,” Seye says. “It’s good, it felt good to go and see this movie. It was nice to hear stories that represented my race, my community. It was nice to see myself relate to all the characters. I think it really took me to my childhood and to where I am in my life and had me thinking “where am I going to be in another 20 years, 30 years?”
MAKING R O O M: How one gay man is navigating a genre notorious for its homophobia and hypermasculintiy. By Sadiah Rahman
Photography of F. Virtue by Sadiah Rahman
Arts and Culture
“I was born with a sexuality backwards. And the homo strives to be a rapper. But raps homophobic, so why should he listen? It’s not made for him. It’s for straight men and butchy women” Anita Bryant, by F. Virtue How true does the sentiment of rap being homophobic hold today? Calgary born rapper William Kowall—F.Virtue—raps, “This isn’t gay rap. Do gay chefs make gay food?” in his 2013 track “Anita Bryant.” Kowall used this track to publicly come out. He says it’s the kind of song he “needed to hear as a closeted kid.” “I rapped and studied the culture religiously, and the outright homophobia made me feel like I wasn’t wanted in the very thing I loved most. I needed to see someone rapping who was out and proud, and I didn’t,” Kowall says. He says releasing “Anita Bryant” was for him and also
anyone out there who needs to hear an accepting sound in the genre. “Music is how I cope with things and understand myself, so “Anita Bryant” was really the only way I knew how to break down the door for myself. And in doing so for others, everywhere - it’s a song telling everyone to be themselves and that’s cool and we can do it together.” During the late 1970s and early 80s, hip hop and rap originated from the poorest districts of New York City by Black and Latino youth as a way of expression, unity and identity. Over time it has evolved, gaining a notorious reputation for being misogynistic and homophobic. When you kick back to listen to some legendary hip hop artists, and take in the lyrics, there’s no denying their lyrics can be quite harsh. With artists like Eminem to DMX, Kool Keith and Public Enemy, it’s hard to ignore the reality: they
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all have used homophobic slurs. Dijah Payne—DijahSB—is a 22 year old Toronto rapper who’s been in the game since she was 16-years-old. As a lesbian rapper, she has a unique look into the industry when it comes to the true nature of hip-hop culture. “You have a lot of rappers who will say anything just to make it sound good on a beat, so they’ll throw out their integrity as long as it sounds good,” Payne says. “I don’t like to think rap and hip-hop is always misogynistic but it is and I find myself creeping in lyrics that are borderline misogynistic, too. It’s just a common theme within the community and if a rapper believes it’s what the people will like, they’ll conform to that sound and deliver.” Kowall says this is rooted in the origins of the genre and “from oppressed black communities in New York with no visible voice. So asserting ones masculinity in rap actually stems from having to prove ones place as a result of being constantly overlooked and ignored.” “Men feel inclined to flex their masculinity in rap music. It can be obnoxious, it can be corny, it can be unwarranted and immature or it can actually be dope. It depends how it’s done. But there’s no way around it, braggadocio has always been part of the culture,” Kowell says. “In reality, the most masculine rapper right now is Young Thug, because being a man is really to be self-empowered enough to express themselves without fear of haters.” Young Thug is a 25-year-old American rapper from Atlanta notorious for his gender-bending and unique style. It’s hard not to fit the sound of the times. Pressure to conform exists within all realms and it isn’t any less in hip-hop music. It’s a “sad state of affairs” says Kenneth McLeod, a music history professor at the University of Toronto. “Its not about the politics per say. Those (alternative) voices are already out there but those voices aren’t selling. Right? It’s going to be what sells. I think the way the music industry and everything else is structured, this is just the way it works.” In Macklemore’s song “Same Love,” Maclemore, a 33 year old rapper from Washington, United States says, “If I was gay, I would think hip-hop hates me,” and he isn’t wrong to assume that, nor is he entirely right. Del Cowie, a Toronto music journalist and associate producer at CBC music, has been writing on all things music for more than a decade. Cowie makes the argument that hip-hop is just shadowing the attitudes of our sociopolitical state. “Hip hop exists in the world, a (world) that has been largely
Arts and Culture
"The outright homophobia made me feel like I wasn’t wanted in the very thing I loved most," says William Kowall, aka F. Virtue.
homophobic. It’s not like hiphop is this separate entity. It always, in a way, reflected what’s going on in society. Hip-hop helped to contextualize the social atmosphere that the people, who used it first, lived in Cowie says. “It doesn’t excuse hip-hop from being homophobic. What I’m saying is people tend to parcel it out as if it doesn’t exist within the larger popular culture, which is also homophobic and has traditions being so. “With that being said, attitudes have been changing in the larger popular culture and it has been reflected to some extent in hip-hop as well. I think two things go hand in hand.” “To generalize and say that hip hop itself is this or that tends to perpetuate that it’s the artists themselves,” McLeod says. “It’s people who are homophobic, it’s people who are
Is the culture of hip hop and rap homophobic or are artists their own entity?
misogynist, and it’s not the music. It’s not the music; it’s the sentiment of the community who make the music. Nothing about hiphop is particularly one way or the other homophobic.” It can be all these things. Until you attach someone’s ideology behind it, it’s some individual’s ideology.” In this argument, accountability becomes fluid, with no clear policing. DijahSB believes hip-hop is moving forward even if it’s a slow movement. “It’s hard to predict what may happen with such an unpredictable genre. Hopefully people open their eyes and understand sexuality is nothing to hate somebody for, and if somebody sounds nice, they sound nice regardless of their sexuality. If somebody is trash, they’re trash regardless of their sexuality. That’s all it is. Acceptance.”
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Arts and Culture
PAUL ‘KAZE’ THURTON
What does it mean to be a man?
Paul Kaze Thurton, photographed by Kaitlyn Smith
Mr. sat down with Paul ‘Kaze’ Thurton, a wellseasoned hip hop dancer and choreographer at his dance studio in Scarborough, Ont. We talked about what it means to be successful, beautiful and masculine. Thurton has performed all over the world from Germany to South Korea for big names like Drake and the Wu-Tang Klan. In 2009, Thurton opened Simply Swagg, aka the Fresh Factory, to teach kids and adults a variety of hip hop dances, which he grew up learning and refining. “When people see dancing, they’re like ‘oh look at those cool moves,’” says Thurton. “You don’t know the journey that person is on in their head.” The studio also engineers a safe space for kids in the neighbourhood. “I know how Scarborough can take you,” says the home-grown, Scarborough dancer. In middle school, Thurton’s uncle taught him a style of hip hop called new jack. He spent his spare time developing the technique, scouting smooth surfaces wherever he could to practise. By 15 years old, Thurton joined a local dance crew called Supernaturalz, becoming their youngest member at the time. “It was a lot rougher when I was starting because there was a street culture,” says Thurton about his youth. Now, a successful business owner and instructor, Thurton passes his skills down to the younger generation. An essential to his success, says Thurton, was to provide kids with a creative outlet and teach them in an environment free of judgment.
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That’s a big question. I’ll just name some general attributes that I believe a man should have. Understanding, loyalty, strength, empathy compassion. The big one to me is strength and not necessarily strength, but strength (motions to his head) to handle what this world is going to give them when they get older. That’s what I try to tell my kids. That identity leads into a strong inner sense. Then that inner sense is what will allow you to judge and navigate this world. When do you feel most beautiful? I don’t usually think about that kind of thing. I like fashion because of the style of dance we do. A big part of hip hop, the culture, is the way you dress. It’s weird, at this stage of my life, not to say I don’t care about myself, but I’m sure as hell not my focus. When I feel the most beautiful is when I’m dancing. That’s probably my purest form of being human. When I dance, you’ll see what I’m feeling. As a man how do you feel successful? I think at different points in my life I measured it by different things. When I was really young and immature it was by popularity. Then it turned into finances and then that got under control. Now, it’s how I can impact these kids. It sounds corny, but to me you should be able to empower other people. Not just you. I could just be focusing on my career, posting videos of myself, but you look at my social media I’m posting other people to put them in positions of power to do great things. I want to see my kids doing what I did. Or better. What makes you feel most rounded in your identity? What do you do that makes you say, ‘this is Paul’? Instructing and just being around the kids, period...
Hear more from Paul ‘Kaze’ Thurton on our website.
Arts and Culture
Adrian
What does masculinity mean for you?
How do you feel beautiful? I have to go back to that feeling of confidence. People go through those steps. Put on makeup, put on clothes, the way they dress, all these things so they achieve that sense of confidence. I walk around in the same clothes. I paint, so there’s a reason why I look the way I do. I’m messy, I’m scruffy, but it’s because I’m dedicated to this. For me, it’s hard for me to say that I’m trying to go be beautiful. I think being yourself is beautiful enough. How do you feel successful? Being happy. I came from working in the design environment where you’re in a cubicle it’s a little bit truncating. For me, now, there’s a wealth of things to express. There’s tons of sketchbooks of ideas that are now really coming to the forum – I have a platform to exercise them. Even in the case of the big mural I’m working on, it’s a culmination of all the things that I’ve done prior. It really builds you up to where you are now. It’s experience. How did you find your identity and become confident in it? Hip hop’s played a big part in that. I like the ideas of hip hop; you can control your own destiny. How far people are able to go from very little...
Hear more about Adrian Hayle on our website.
Hayles
Adrian Hayles , photographed by Kaitlyn Smith
I think that being a man is being able to see what’s in yourself, that you are able to give back in a sense of community. There’s a sense of responsibility to be an example. I think being a man is just being an example for young boys of what they should be when they grow up. It’s really important that sense of accountability those type of things that are missing. A lot of the youth and the reason the youth are getting in trouble. There’s just not many examples for them.
When mr. sat down with Toronto-based artist, Adrian Hayles, he pulled out his phone and showed us his first drawing. It was a sketching of Marvel’s Hulk, which he’d drawn in the fourth grade. The picture was the beginning of a proud and passionate artist in the works; the personality of his childhood still prevalent in his art today. Hayles grew up in a home of musicians, DJs and MCs. His basement studio and house are littered with records – a passion he shares with his young daughter. Art was something Hayles gravitated towards. “It was natural for me,” he says. Hayles’ largest project is underway on the side of a building at Yonge and Gerard Streets. The mural covers a 22-story building and commemorates the music scene in the area. At the bottom is Oscar Peterson playing a piano, which builds up with the vibrantly coloured faces of musical icons and jazz legends, Shirley Matthews, Gordon Lightfoot, B.B. King and more. Hayles started painting the outlines of each artist in September and finished with colour and spray paint, which drips down to the ground. Peterson plays a piano at the bottom, which will be paired with an interactive app. Both will be revealed before 2017. At a young age, Hayles was encouraged to pursue his talent in the fine arts. He remembers being taking pride in his first commission. In grade four, a teacher had Hayles make posters at Christmas time for the school. “That kind of passion still fuels me, that passion from my childhood. And I think it’s what makes my art so accessible,” he says.
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The Graduating Generation By Bianca Quijano
We spoke to four men, in the last months of their college, university and apprenticeship programs, to learn about the challenges they faced during their post-secondary careers and their hopes for the future. Here are their stories. " Being a man in this industry is a very privileged thing.”
Paul Leithwood, 29 Urban Aboriculture, Humber College and Career Foundations Describe yourself using one word
Stubborn. Why did you enrol in your program? I worked in ceramics as a potter for five years. I apprenticed with an artist. The financial restraints and living in a studio - you’re working constantly and isolating yourself with your work. I found it emotionally difficult. You’re always struggling financially. I needed something that was outside, more social, something that was physical and had more opportunity for advancement. “As far as what I’m doing right now, I can really see this going for a while.”
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What are the advantages of being a man in your field? It’s a male-dominated field. Even if a woman has more seniority, more experience, more ability and knowledge, the client will come talk to me first. What I accomplish is more recognizable. I don’t know if that’s a benefit. I’ve seen a guy get an opportunity over a woman who had more experience. It was shocking. Speaking from the point of view of an LGBT individual, I sort of see it from another scope as well. It is very much like old boys club sometimes. A crew can be this team of three guys going around the city doing tree work – how testosterone driven is that? It’s intimidating. What’s your biggest take way from your entire post-secondary experience? It’s very humbling. I now know the worth of a support network of people you can rely on like friends and family. I don’t know if anyone is more prepared than anyone else going into a program. A lot of it can really be made up. Just showing up, doing the work, doing the reading. In career it’s no different.
Describe yourself using one word
Driven. Why did you enroll in your program? I’ve always loved to cook. I started when I was eight years old. I went to Concordia University in Montreal for business. It was always my intention to combine the two passions. What is it like to be a man in your field? It’s definitely a male-dominated profession. In the kitchen I work at there are four female chefs and 10 male chefs. It’s changing though. The old school yelling and Gordon Ramsay type mentality is going out the window with the younger chefs. The younger chefs are being trained now to be kinder to one another.
Kevin Buck, 23
Culinary Management (Integrated Learning), George Brown College What are the challenges you faced during your training? It is a lot of hard work, the hours are long. It’s not all glamorous like on the Food Network. It takes sacrifice. I know I will be missing birthdays and family events. But this is what I want to do. At the end of the day it’s worth it for me. What’s next for you after graduation? The restaurant I’m interning at has offered me a full-time position. I think I’m going to stay on. George Brown also has an Italian program, which I’ve been accepted to. We do a semester in Toronto learning about Italian cuisine and language. Then we go to Italy and work in a restaurant there.
Quoc Truong, 31
Five years in, how has your outlook, as a minority changed?
Steam fitting, Hammer Heads
I’m very aware of racism. I can see it. I can feel it. And I know it. I know how to act. Before, I’ll be angry. But now I take a step back. I just shrug it off. You just have to prove that you belong here. Now these guys - they’ve become best friends. I’ve gone to so many of their weddings. I’m part of that family now.
Describe yourself using one word
Adaptable. How has your life changed since you enrolled in the Hammer Heads program? I came from a very poor family in Vietnam. We lived in a refugee camp in Hong Kong for three years. Then we moved to Canada when I was four years old. I grew up in Regent Park. Up to that point, that was probably the best place I lived in my life. I went to high school not knowing it was the shittiest area in Toronto. “I’m short, I’m small, I’m Asian. People make jokes. Guys I work with are second-, third-generation steamfitters. They’re very proud. They’re like, ‘What’s this Asian guy doing here stealing our jobs?’”
What are some of the misconceptions about the construction field? People don’t realize the extensive schooling. I take Saturday classes from 7am to 3pm. I take night school. It’s a skilled trade. You can’t make beautiful construction without that knowledge. You have to know about math, physics. It’s pretty cool. What are your hopes for your profession? I’m a huge advocate for hiring kids who live in the city and care about the city. All my coworkers they come and work here in the city then they leave. They don’t have that connection to the city. 28
MEET LESLIE OQUENDO.
Our cover model symbolizes everything mr. believes in. An aspiring early childhood educator, his lifestyle makes the conventional unconventional. He portrays confidence, empowerment and fights against assigned gender roles. It wasn’t always like this for Leslie. It’s something he had to fight for. Check out a short documentary on our website about Leslie’s experience.
Photo by Sadiah Rahman
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Statistics Canada / Hannah Ciano / Mark Morbos / Philippine Inquirer / Hammer Heads / George Brown School of Culinary Arts / Seneca College Early Childhood Education Staff / Settlement Assistance and Family Support Services / Erin Ashley / Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) / White Ribbon Campaign / Ian Gomerley / Canadian Centre for Men and Families / Dad Centre Ontario / Diana Wu / Leslie Oquendo / Paul ‘Kaze’ Thurton / Freepik.com -- designed by Freepik / “Grey brick wall” designed by Kues / “space illustration” designed by Elystudio / Hope Smylie / Google Fonts / Tim Doyle / National Institute of Mental Health / LifeLine Canada / Movember Canada / HeadsUpGuys / To Planet Earth, never could have done this without you, buddy. Your trees were so necessary in the creation of this project.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
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