Art – Growing Pains – Natalie Szkwarek

Reunion

I’d been on edge all day waiting for the doorbell to ring. I paced through the kitchen and into the bedroom until my nails were bitten down to the beds.

It was only when I watched the sun disappear beneath the thicket of trees in the backyard that the chime rang through the house. I nearly jumped out of my skin as it broke the tense silence of anticipation.

Frantically, I rushed through the hallway, barely pausing before throwing open the heavy wood door.

There she was. Her face was thinner than I remembered. She was tall too. So much taller than before. Her hair sat straight against her shoulders shining blue-black in the porch light.

The words rushed out of my mouth before I knew what I was saying, “You dyed your hair.”

She rolled her eyes, “Nice to see you too, Mom.”

I could hardly stop myself from pulling her close to me. My baby was home in my arms after so long. I could feel the sting of tears behind my eyes. After a moment, I allowed myself to pull away, though not quite letting go of her arm which was clutched in my hands.

“Come in honey.” I pulled her through the doorway.

“Smells like spaghetti.” She smiled softly while looking around at the framed photos and furniture.

“Of course,” I pulled her through the hallway to the kitchen. I forgot how cramped it could get with two people. “It used to be your favorite.” I gestured toward the small kitchen table for her to sit and turned to the stove.

I heard her chuckle from behind me, “Did you really keep my drawings on the fridge all this time?”

Turning around with a bowl of pasta in hand, I finally let the tears flow from my eyes, “Sarah, you’ve been gone for 3 years. The only time you even let me know you were alive was when you called last week! If I wasn’t so happy to see you, I would tear you apart!”

She avoided my gaze, “Mom, I’m sorry-”

“Jesus Christ, Sarah, you better be sorry! I thought you were dead!” She flinched, “I must have lost a year off my life in those first couple weeks.” With a sigh, I let the tense energy in my shoulders drop and walked over to the table. “But I’m just glad you’re home. Talk to me. Tell me what happened to you all this time.”

Sarah still wouldn’t look me in the eyes. I reached up and took her chin in my hand. Gently, I turned her head to face me. She looked so thin and pale. Her eyes were filled with sorrow but her cheeks were dry.

“Come on, Sarah. At least eat something. You look

so thin.” I tried to push the bowl in front of her, but she only wrenched her chin from my grasp and looked away. “Mom…” her voice wavered, “Mom, this is a goodbye.” I made a desperate grab for her hands, just wanting to feel them in mine, “What do you mean? Sarah, look at me, please.”’ “Mom, I—” Her voice cracked and my heart shattered. I waited for her to collect herself with patience hanging on by a thread, “I didn’t know I was leaving that day. Alexander was driving after school and he said ‘wouldn’t it be fun if we ran away together?’ I knew you didn’t like him but I didn’t care. After that… I don’t know. We drove for a couple hours into Hollandale to see his friends and we lost track of time and then each other… I didn’t even realize it had been so long.” I felt the world fall out from under me. I’d spent an eternity thinking about all the worst case scenarios, looking into every ditch on the side of the road, begging not to see a familiar face. The reality might be worse than every terrible moment waiting. “A couple weeks ago I… I did too much. The things that became normal since I left home became too much all at once. I…” Sarah’s voice drifted off. “Honey, what are you saying?” I whispered, afraid anything too loud would make her disappear. “I came here to say goodbye.” Sarah finally looked in my eyes, “To say that I’m so sorry. I should have just come home.” I tried to protest but all that came out was a shuddered breath. There seemed like so much to say and no words to express it. Through the confusion and pain and quiet, my phone began to ring from the counter. “You should get that,” Sarah said softly, “it’s probably about me.” In a daze, I got up and reached for the phone. The caller ID wasn’t one I recognized. With shaky fingers, I answered the phone. “Hello?” The voice that came through was gruff and tired, “Hi, is this Mrs. Sharell?” I glanced over at Sarah to find her almost as tense as me. “Yes, this is she.” “This is Officer Nolan with the Hollandale Police Department. We have news about your daughter.” “This is Officer Nolan with the Hollandale Police Department. We have news about your daughter.” I shot another look at Sarah while trying to ignore the knot growing tighter in my stomach. I turned my focus back to the man on the phone, “You may want to be