MI Spy

Good news, MI Spy fans: HQ got me added to the waiting list for a COVID-19 vaccination! However, I’m still waiting to get my first dose, and since safety comes first, HQ wants all its spies to stay off the road until they’re fully inoculated.

That means, for this month, I’ll be staying inside my MI Spy Cave and will be visiting my targets virtually by checking out their websites. (This is something I’ve had to do a few times during the pandemic. It’s not my first choice, and I expect to be back on the road soon.) While not quite the same as an in-person visit, these virtual store visits do have their advantages: I can select the websites of any four retailers in any U.S. city or town I want, unrestrained by geography or my meager travel budget.

So I decided this mission should focus on a region I haven’t visited recently. But the sheer number of options at my disposal proved daunting — so much so that I even briefly considered building a “Wheel of Fortune”-type spinning wheel with possible locations on it, and leaving the choice up to chance. But folks, I am not a proponent of the MacGyver style of spying. I’m much more worried about building the perfect martini (and whether it’s shaken or stirred) than I am about constructing gadgets to help me with my caseload. And apparently, throwing darts at a spinning globe goes against another of HQ’s safety protocols.

In the end, I decided to focus on the south/ southwest region, which is an area of the country that I haven’t been able to spend much time in. Being a big fan of the Western genre, I figured Texas or New Mexico would make for fine digital destinations. But I couldn’t pick between the two, so I decided to flip a coin. Much to my chagrin, however, the only coin I had handy was one of those trick coins developed by HQ that always lands perfectly on its side, no matter how many times you flip it. (You’d be surprised how often those things come in handy; supervillains just love to flip a coin before deciding your fate, and a trick coin like that gives you plenty of time to escape whatever elaborate trap they’ve caught you in.)

Long story short, I couldn’t pick between Texas and New Mexico … so I decided to cover both! For Texas, my city of choice was El Paso, the hometown of singer and screen siren Debbie Reynolds; jazz aficionado and Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor; punk-rockerturned-politician Beto O’Rourke; and Alan Tudyk, the man who brilliantly played Steve the Pirate in one of my favorite films, “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story.” And for New Mexico, my city of choice was Las Cruces, the hometown of one of my favorite saxophonists, Lenny Pickett, of Tower of Power and the “Saturday Night Live” band fame. Since this is the guitar issue, I will unsurprisingly be browsing the stores’ websites in search of a guitar.

Hero Music 6430 Gateway Blvd E, El Paso, TX 79905 hero-music.com facebook.com/Hero-Music-USA-173366912796779

“I need a hero! I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night!” The name “Hero Music” made me instantly sing these lyrics. (Unfortunately, you’re reading this story in print, so you don’t get to hear my sensational singing voice. I happen to be a former Spy HQ Glee Club third tenor.) “Holding Out for a Hero” by Bonnie Tyler — such an underrated song. It always gets me motivated for a mission. Why is Bonnie Tyler seemingly only known for “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” admittedly a great song in its own right?

Anyway, back to the point. Upon visiting hero-music.com, I immediately saw the words, “Are you looking to buy a guitar in El Paso, TX? You’ve come to the right place.” Sounds great to me. Click on the “Guitars” link, and Hero Music describes every brand it offers: Fender, Squier, Jackson, Charvel, Gretsch, EVH, Ernie Ball/ Music Man, Sterling by Music Man, PRS Guitars, ESP, LTD, Dean Guitars, Ibanez, Cort, Schecter Guitar Research, Washburn, Yamaha and B.C. Rich in electric guitars, as well as the acoustic brands offered: Fender, Takamine, Alvarez, Yamaha, Ibanez, Luna, Dean Guitars, Washburn, Oscar Schmidt by Washburn, Cordoba and H. Jimenez.

The guitar section of the website also offers the following words: “Rock and roll with a guitar from Hero Music. We sell and repair acoustic, electric and bass guitars in El Paso, TX. Are you searching for a Gretsch or Fender Stratocaster? Strum along to your favorite tunes with a state-of-the-art guitar from Hero Music. Visit our music store in El Paso, TX, today, and we’ll help find you an acoustic, electric or bass guitar that suits your needs. Find your fit at Hero Music in El Paso, TX. Whether you are a seasoned guitar player or beginner, you can find a guitar that fits your tastes at Hero Music.” A “Contact Us” link is also provided that takes you to a page where you can fill out a standard form to send an email. The store’s phone number is also provided.

I liked the introduction on the “Guitars” page. It was well presented and easy to read. The only problem was you cannot find any of the specific guitars Hero Music offers for sale. Nor was there a place to go to buy a guitar. With everything going on today, I expected the website to have an ecommerce option, whether it was direct through the site or via Reverb or eBay. There was none.

There was a link to Hero Music’s Facebook page, so I clicked that and found some of the specific guitars the store offers by way of its social media posts. A Dean Guitars Exile Select Floyd Fluence Black Satin for $999.99, a Takamine GD51CE NAT for $549.99 and a Squier Mini Jazzmaster HH for $179.99 were among the social media promotions. The Facebook posts were easy to read, with new posts being placed about every two days on average. I liked seeing the retailer being active on social media. In that sense, Hero Music’s Facebook page was more helpful than its website. To be fair, it’s not unusual for a store to place more emphasis on its social media presence than its website these days.

VIRTUAL VISITS NEAR

Guitar Center 6440 Gateway Blvd E #100, El Paso, TX 79905 guitarcenter.com stores.guitarcenter.com/el-paso

Moving on to a familiar store that’s (according to Google Street View) right next door to Hero Music: Guitar Center. With two stores in such close proximity, this shopping center must be a great destination for El Paso music makers.

Guitar Center also lists its top-selling brands on its homepage. In the guitar seg-

THE SOUTHERN BORDER

ment, these include Taylor, Gibson, Yamaha and C.F. Martin. You have the option of browsing through the El Paso location’s inventory by clicking the “Shop This Store” link in the center of the page, or you can shop from Guitar Center’s entire massive online inventory.

Head to the “Departments” tab in the upper-left corner of the website, navigate to “Guitars,” and click the “Top Sellers” link, and you will find a wide variety of instruments at a range of prices; just a few of these included the Epiphone Les Paul Classic, Mitchell Terra Series T433CEBST Auditorium Solid, the PRS SE A50E acoustic-electric and the Fender Alternate Reality Meteora HH. There are options to narrow your search by brand, price range, handedness, number of strings, performance level, color and more. Further down on the page, GC promotes a few more products; during my visit, these included Sterling by Music Man StingRay basses, the Hagstrom ’67 Viking II and the Fender 75th Anniversary models in Violin Burst with Gold Hardware (the last of which is detailed in the MSR Anniversary feature appearing in this issue).

I selected the Epiphone Les Paul Classic, and with a few clicks placed it in my cart for $499. A popup asked if I wanted to add “Pro Coverage,” a warranty plan. I could then proceed to checkout and have the guitar delivered, unless I preferred contactless pickup at the location of my choice, which is always a good option to have during a pandemic (and I guess from now on). The ecommerce shopping experience was easy. As I clicked the back arrow and headed back to the website, a message offered the following: “Price Match Guarantee: If you find a better advertised price on the same product from an authorized U.S. dealer — online or in-store — within 45 days of purchase, we’ll match it.” Also highlighted was a shipping update indicating that there may be delivery delays due to COVID-19.

The El Paso store’s inventory alone included 134 guitars. But before I headed off to the next virtual store, I wanted to check out all of Guitar Center’s guitar offerings, and the website certainly did not disappoint. I clicked on “Electric Guitars,” and there were 4,804 matches. “Acoustic Guitars” yielded 2,393 results. “Electric-acoustic” chipped in 756 products. And there were even 202 left-handed models for sale. I could have looked for basses also, but I knew I would be browsing the site for hours if I let myself get carried away. If selection is your thing, Guitar Center’s website is tough to top.

Mesilla Valley Pro Music 919 N. Valley Dr., Las Cruces, NM 88005 mvpromusic.com reverb.com/shop/mesilla-valley-pro-music

I hopped into my virtual MI Spy Mobile and headed north 46 miles into New Mexico. The trip basically involved one road, Interstate 10, according to MapQuest. (By the way, visiting MapQuest made me nostalgic for how we used to have to actually print out MapQuest directions back in the day. Those were much, much simpler times.)

I began my two-store Las Cruces virtual jaunt with a visit to Mesilla Valley Pro Music. A short introduction on the homepage gives you a feel for the store’s “friendly neighborhood music store” personality. Clicking “About” at the top of the website gives you some more information about the retailer as well as a few homey images of the store; according to the (cotinued on page 52)