A New Game Plan

By Carolanne Roberts

Photo by Beth Wynn

Basketball coaches – especially the best ones – are known for strategic secrets. Sharing too much information can weaken the game plan and confuse the players. But for Coach Joanne P. McCallie, boasting a storied career with women’s teams at Auburn, the University of Maine, Michigan State and Duke, the strategy and the secrets were deeper, as well guarded as any ball on any championship court.

During her 32 years as one of the winningest collegiate coaches in the country, with a 628-243 record, McCallie never revealed what was going on in her head, refusing to shift the spotlight from her players to her personal battle – specifically a diagnosis of manic-depressive disorder, also known as bipolar disorder.

Yet since stepping away from the court, she has begun to share that part of her narrative.

Standing before a student audience at Mississippi State in October, McCallie – “CoachP” – spoke out, expounding on the story of her mental health journey that is recounted in her book Secret Warrior, published in February. The talk, which included a valuable and candid Q&A with students, was a part of the Leo W. Seal Jr. Distinguished Speaker Series sponsored by the College of Business, Office of Student Affairs and MSU Health Promotion and Wellness.

Sitting down for a post-speech conversation, CoachP emphasized that all 204 pages of the book were written to reveal the secret – especially to her former players.

I thought about telling them a couple of times through the years and put the thought away,” she says. “I consulted mentors, and they advised against it – I would become the story as people watched the ‘bipolar coach.’ So, this book is for all those girls at last, and also for the many people who struggle with impaired mental health.

CoachP says her team at Maine knew something was wrong. Their coach, who’d experienced her first manic depressive episode (away from the court), was suddenly gone for two mystery-shrouded weeks, missing important practices.

When she returned, offering the explanation of exhaustion, “They accepted it. And they supported me even with parents rumbling about needing a different coach. We won championships and didn’t see a dip in productivity.”

Her husband John, a PhD economist and chemist, was at her side, stepping forward to help with their two children and other needs.

“He understood that there was a chemical imbalance in [my] brain and that it was going to take a while to figure out what was right for [me],” she explains. “He used reason over emotion.”

The balance did come with the right mix of medications and therapy. Except for a complacent period when she allowed herself to stop the medications, resulting in a serious second episode, CoachP’s life progressed without serious problems.

Yet she was carrying around the secret, that huge piece of her inner self that the outside world couldn’t see.

“At first I fought the diagnosis,” she says, and she recounts her thoughts at the time: “It cannot be happening to me. I’ve been a student athlete, and my body’s in shape. You mean to tell me my brain has stepped aside?”

She states, “It’s a heart-wrenching challenge.”

At this stage of the chat, CoachP realizes the need to explain her disorder, a widely misunderstood affliction. It’s one of the most-asked questions she gets.

“Manic-depressive disorder comes from genetics and also from triggers in one’s life,” she begins, noting the condition generally manifests in a person’s late 20s. “A manic episode, like my first, is a state of incredible grandiosity and positivity, an over-the-top kind of feeling where you have big ideas and your brain is in overdrive. It can be a creative yet dangerous state because the circuitry in your brain is working too hard.

The depressive state – my second episode – makes you lose concentration, become very low,” she continues. “It’s hard to read a paper, and you’re not interested in eating. You go to this awful place where your brain is down-and-out, in full depression. So, the two are truly a polarization of feelings.

She also addresses the stigma, especially 25 years ago, when her first diagnosis seemed better hidden than heralded. Even today, it’s a frustration to realize that millions of people take medications for a variety of other conditions without being regarded as damaged, and this frustration is another reason CoachP is speaking out about mental health, at MSU and the world beyond.

“This kind of thing must change,” she says. “The thinking [about] mental well-being and mental health [should be] equal to overall health.”

Secret Warrior, whose two-word title aptly defines her journey, contains chapters about mentoring and the need to reach out to experts, as well as about faith and fear. The latter details CoachP’s embracing of Christianity and her baptism at age 50 in the ocean off the coast of Maine, her home state – and faith is a recurring theme throughout. Other chapters address her departure from Duke and the tidal wave of emotion accompanying that decision. The book also offers earnest suggestions to guide readers who might sense mental discord in their own lives.

CoachP has appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America with Robin Roberts and on numerous podcasts in the United States, Germany and Israel. She knows she’s reaching an audience that needs her.

“There are so many positives,” she says. “But then there are the quiet people, the ones not engaging, and those concern me. They may be suffering, and this may be hitting too close to home.”

That said, nothing will stop this woman with the will to help. She is a coach to the core, in a larger game on a bigger court.

McCallie was welcomed to campus in October as a lecturer for the Leo W. Seal Jr. Distinguished Speaker Series.

Photo by Robby Lozano

“If you want to know my ultimate dream,” CoachP says, “I would like to have a call-in podcast, maybe interviewing some guests and talking with people who call in anonymously. I don’t presume to be Oprah, but I have experience talking with young people. And I can share my experiences with people of all ages.

“I feel a great responsibility to see what I can do to help change the narrative – and I do mean ‘help,’ because I cannot do it alone. But can I have my role just like a good teammate? Can I be part of the championship – a world championship – in elevating regard for brain health?”

With her book on the market, her speaking schedule expanding and a developing foundation underway, CoachP – @CoachP4Life on social media – is resolute about making a difference. She finds time to play tennis and some golf, lift weights and swim laps and is catching up on years of Netflix series.

But the new mission is always at the forefront. CoachP knows there are people to touch with her message about mental health.

“Mississippi State deserves enormous applause and credit for their vision and for putting me before the students,” she says. “I’m going to do more of this. The crescendo is about to hit for me in 2022 with more speaking engagements, and it’s going to be great.”

For more information about CoachP or Secret Warrior, visit CoachP.org.