mums &tots ISSN 2009-437X
IRELAND’S FAVOURITE FAVOURITE MATERNITY MATERNITY MAGAZINE MAGAZINE
www.mumsandtots.ie Embracing Life - Pregnancy
to Parenting
PURE IRISH
ISSUE 10 SPRING 2014 €3.00
Win! at The A family Break Moran Silver Springs or Hotel, C k
BLOGGING
Irish
PREMATURE BABIES
MUMS
Solo Parenting:
Just the Two of Us
Flying While Pregnant
PET GUIDE: Is Your Family Ready For A Pet?
HOW TO:
Baby Led Weaning CHARITY FOCUS:
SOCIALISING YOUR TODDLER
Barnardos
Dealing with Allergies
ADOPTION IN IRELAND
HAVE A DECAF CUPPA ON US
FROM LYONS!
Feeding picky eaters with Annabel Karmel
“When Jackson had his first fever I gave him Nurofen for Children, soon after the fever had reduced and he was getting back to his own self.”
Laura and Jackson Doyle, Wicklow
ALWAYS READ THE LABEL.
*Contains Ibuprofen. Date of preparation: January 2014. Item number: IRL/NFC/0114/0002
hello &welcome! Spring is here at long last!! I don’t know about you but we had a pretty long winter with a lucky bag full of illnesses with our littles, x2 rounds of chicken pox, x2 tummy bugs, x2 colds and 1 insomniac toddler! Phew! Now, spring, let’s be having some health and sleep please and thank you.
Editor: Roberta von Meding Graphic Designer: Juliet Symes Contributers: Annabel Karmel, Anne O’Connor, Therese Handibode, Don Conroy, Orla Walsh, Mothercare Published by: Juliet Publishing Printed By: Quinn’s Contact us: editor@mumsandtots.ie or call +353 85 703 1181 Facebook: facebook.com/mumsandtots All rights reserved. Every care has been taken to ensure that the information contained in this magazine is accurate. The publishers cannot, however, accept responsibility for errors or omissions. Reproduction by any means in whole or in part without the permission of the publisher is prohibited. © Juliet Publishing 2014. Please note all discounts, special offers and competitions contained in this magazine are run independently of Mums & Tots, and therefore the promoter is responsible for honouring the prize. All opinions expressed in this magazine are not necessarily those of the publisher or Editor. Medical articles and opinions are not a substitute for your doctor’s advice. All prices are correct at time of print.
subscribe to get Mums & Tots delivered to your door. Only €16 for an annual subscription at www.mumsandtots.ie
We have a packed issue in store for you full of great articles, competitions and stories. So, sit back and relax with a nice cuppa, courtesy of our friends at Lyons Tea. I am excited to be taking a close up look at Barnardos as our charity focus, page 16. They do some incredible work for children in Ireland so make sure to have a look at small ways that you can help their mission. In modern day Ireland, there are so many different types of family units. Therese Handibode talks about solo parenting, sole custody and what sort of help single parent families can receive from the state, page 20. We will also be looking at adoption in Ireland, page 22. Make sure to read Aoife McNamara’s adoption story, a really touching piece with a very happy ending, page 24. Every year, 15 million babies are born prematurely around the world. In Ireland, the number is 4,500 per year or 1 every 116 minutes. We find our why premature births can happen and what can be done to help baby once they have made their hurried entrance into life, page 36. Allison Molly tells us her story of raising two premature babies, page 38. All toddler milestones are very exciting for us as parents, not least your child’s first steps. Often we can get ahead of ourselves when it comes to buying that first pair of shoes. How do you know when the right time is and what pair should you get? Aoife Tynan gives us a checklist for healthy, happy feet, page 56. We have some delicious recipes from Annabel Karmel Tasty, for even the pickiest of eaters, page 62. I can’t wait to try the Chicken Yakitori! I hope you enjoy the read! As always, we love to hear from you so feel free to drop us a line at hello@mumsandtots.ie.
www.mumsandtots.ie Editor Roberta von Meding
mums&tots
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Adoption in Ireland WHAT IS ADOPTION? Domestic Adoption means the transfer on a permanent basis of parental rights and duties for children of from birth parents to adoptive parents. Adoption is therefore a permanent legal relationship between the adoptive parents and the child. The child has the same legal rights as if they were born in the adoptive family. Only Adoption Societies and the HSE are legally entitled to place children for adoption. If you want to adopt a child, whether in Ireland or abroad, the first step is to contact a Registered Adoption Society or your Local Adoption Office. Applicants being considered by an adoption agency will undergo a detailed
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assessment. This assessment takes place over a period of time, ranging from 9 to 15 months, sometimes longer. The purpose of this assessment is to establish applicants’ suitability as prospective adoptive parents. The assessment is carried out by a social worker. It includes a number of interviews and home visits. Where the application is from a married couple, there will be both individual and joint interviews. The social worker will discuss such areas as previous and/or current relationships, motives for adopting, expectations of the child and the ability to help a child to develop his/her knowledge and understanding of his/her natural background. All applicants are required to undergo a medical examination. If planning to adopt abroad, the assessment will include issues surrounding the child’s cultural
background and possible special needs. WHO MAY ADOPT The following persons are eligible to adopt:a) a married couple living together; this is the only circumstance where the law permits the adoption of a child by more than one person: b) a married person alone; in this circumstance the spouse’s consent to adopt must be obtained, unless they are living apart and are separated under (i) a court decree or (ii) deed of separation or (iii) the spouse has deserted the prospective adopter or (iv) conduct on the part of the spouse results in the prospective adopter, with just cause, leaving the spouse and living apart;
d) a widow or widower. A sole applicant who does not come within the classes of persons defined under (c) and (d) above may only adopt where the Board is satisfied that, in the particular circumstances of the case, it is desirable to grant an order. It is not possible for two unmarried persons to adopt jointly. AGES OF ADOPTERS Minimum age A couple adopting a child to whom they are not related must both be at least 21 years of age. Where the child is being adopted by a married couple and one of them is the mother or father or a relative of the child, only one of them must have attained the age of 21 years. Age is a significant factor when assessing a couple’s suitability to adopt and most adoption agencies apply their own upper age limits. RESIDENCY OF ADOPTERS Adopting parents must be ordinarily resident in the State and have been so resident for at least one year before the date of the making of the adoption order. RELIGION Where the adopting parents, the child and the parent(s) are not all of the same religion, the parent(s) must know the religion (if any) of each of the adopting parents when giving consent to the child’s adoption. CONSENT The consent of the parent/guardian of the child to the adoption is a legal requirement. If the child is born outside marriage, and the father has no guardianship rights, only the mother’s consent is needed. Under the Adoption Act 1998, however, birth fathers are now being consulted (if possible) about the adoption of their children. In situations where the parents are not married and the father does not have guardianship rights, his consent is not necessary for adoption. However, the consent of the father is required if he marries the mother after the birth of the child or he is appointed guardian or is granted custody of the child by court order. The mother, father (where he is guardian) or other legal guardian must give an initial consent or agreement to the placing of a child for adoption by a Registered Adoption Society. He/she must then
give his/her consent to the making of an Adoption Order. This consent may be withdrawn any time before the making of the Adoption Order.
Board assigns one of its social workers to the application. The social worker will normally make at least two visits to the applicants’ home.
If the mother either refuses consent or withdraws consent already given, the adopting parents may apply to the High Court for an order. If the court is satisfied that it is in the best interests of the child, it will make an order giving custody of the child to the adopting parents for a specified period and authorising the Adoption Board to dispense with the mother’s consent to the making of the Adoption Order.
6. The Adoption Board does not usually finalise an adoption until the adopting parents have had the child in their care for at least six months. The Board may require the applicants to have the child in their care for a longer period in certain circumstances.
If a mother changes her mind about adoption before the making of the Adoption Order, but the adopting parents refuse to give up the child, she may then institute legal proceedings to have custody of her child returned to her. ADOPTION PROCESS 1. A parent or relative wishing to adopt a child either alone or with a spouse should contact the Adoption Board for information as to the procedure involved. 2. A couple wishing to have a child placed with them for adoption should apply to one of the Registered Adoption Societies or their local HSE Area. 3. A couple being considered by an adoption agency will have to undergo a detailed assessment. The purpose of this assessment is to establish the couple’s suitability as prospective adoptive parents. The assessment will be carried out by one of the adoption agency’s/HSE social workers. It will include a number of joint and individual interviews and visits to the couple’s home. The social worker will discuss such areas as the couple’s relationship, their motives for adopting, their expectations of the child and their ability to help the child to a knowledge and understanding of his/her natural background. The couple will also have to undergo a medical examination. 4. If a couple are accepted by an adoption agency and have a child placed with them, the next step is to apply to the Adoption Board for an adoption order. Certain documents must be sent to the Board in support of the application. The agency will know what documents are required and will probably already have obtained them from the couple before placement. 5. The Adoption Board cannot make an adoption order unless it is satisfied as to the suitability of the adopting parents. The Board has a team of social workers who visit the homes of applicants for adoption orders and report to the Board on their suitability. On receipt of an application for an adoption order, the
* all information contained in the piece is current from the HSE as of January 2014
7. When the Adoption Board is satisfied that an adoption is ready to be finalised, it will invite the adopting parents to attend before it with the child for the hearing of their application. At the oral hearing, the applicants are asked certain questions on oath in order to establish their identity and eligibility to adopt and if the Board is satisfied as to the applicant(s) eligibility and suitability to adopt it will then proceed to make an adoption order in their favour. CHILDREN ELIGIBLE FOR ADOPTION The law permits the adoption of: a) orphans, and b) children born outside marriage, including in certain circumstances, children whose natural parents subsequently marry each other. In addition, in exceptional cases, the High Court may make an order authorising the adoption of children whose parents have failed in their duty of care towards them. Children born within marriage may be adopted under this provision. A child born outside marriage who is legitimated by the subsequent marriage of the natural parents is eligible for adoption provided his/her birth has not been reregistered. A child born to a married woman but whose husband is not the father, is eligible for adoption provided the facts of the child’s paternity can be proven to the satisfaction of the Adoption Board. The child must reside in the State, be at least six weeks old and under 18 years of age. The child need not have been born in this country. An agency cannot place a child for adoption until the child is at least four weeks old. In making an adoption order the Adoption Board must regard the welfare of the child as the first and paramount consideration. HOW TO APPLY If you want to adopt a child, whether in Ireland or abroad, the first step is to contact a Registered Adoption Society or your Local Adoption Office.
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c) the mother, father or a relative of the child (relative meaning a grandparent, brother, sister, uncle or aunt of the child and/or the spouse of any such person, the relationship to the child being traced through the mother or the father);
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babies / nutrition
BABY LED WEANING:
A Newbie’s Experience Ever see those cute cards with the smiling baby, upturned bowl of spaghetti on their head and face smothered in tomato sauce? Well, that’s the scene at dinner for us every single night with our ten month old. April Bracken welcomes us to Baby Led Weaning!
W
e are newcomers to this exciting approach to baby’s relationship with food. I followed the traditional, puréed path when weaning my first son. A Guide To Weaning by Annabelle Karmel was an excellent resource for recipes, and we created some gorgeous introductions to the world of food. He was more than ready for the transition to solids, happily slurping
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on the spoon I filled and brought to his mouth. He ate everything this way, three times a day, and only at eight months did I start introducing snacks that he would feed himself. He was at least a year before he was actively showing signs of wanting to feed himself. Even now, at almost three, he asks us to feed him his dinner if he’s tired or feeling out of sorts. It was
generally a smooth, easy going process for us. As I was in control there wasn’t too much mess. I also knew that if he was in the right mood, we would be finished in minutes. A simple, no fuss affair. When we had our second baby, I assumed we would follow the same process. At six months, our son was feeding every two
I had heard about Baby Led Weaning, but my son was giving me a live demonstration. I decided that I needed to catch up with my independent spirit and educate myself on this new concept. I follow a fantastic blog at properfud.wordpress.com, where Jill Jordan chronicles her baby led weaning adventures. Her description of the process is funny, fascinating and down to earth, taking the intimidation out of this new terrain. She also writes up the recipes she uses for you to enjoy, which I’m very grateful for. One of her latest creations was a mouth watering couscous, tasty and unusual but with ingredients that aren’t difficult to come by. I also invested in Baby Led Weaning: The Cookbook by Gill Rapley & Tracey Murkett. The recipes are aimed at feeding the whole family while little one broadens their palate and explore their food all on their own. So far we have had homemade burgers, chick pea patties, lentil wedges and many more delicious dishes that we have all enjoyed.
hours at night, sitting up, and trying to grab food from our hands. These were the signals we needed to decide that he was ready to expand his culinary horizons. I had a tried and tested method and sat him at the highchair. Disaster! Whatever had worked with Noah, Elijah rejected with vigour. When I would bring the spoon to his mouth, he would purse his lips and turn
I am now a convert to baby led weaning, and here’s why. My little one helped me finish off an apple this morning, lifting it to his mouth and using his two teeth to cut away the flesh. He loves his mealtimes. We all sit together, and he tucks into a portion of what we’re eating. He has so much fun picking up, testing and chucking what he’s given, that we can have a relatively calm dinner with the two boys. I don’t have to worry about separate meals and slaving at the food processor into the wee hours. I was always forgetting to defrost his separate meals, whereas now he enjoys our freshly made food. I have only one meal planner, drawing from a mixture of baby led recipes and adult dishes that have plenty for our little one to explore. I’m not leaned over the highchair - he’s doing all the work himself. It’s amazing to see how capable he is at inspecting and tasting at such a young age. I can envision him milling through whole dinners by the time he reaches his first birthday. It seems like the most natural thing in the world for him. He has learnt how to chew and feed independently from day one. Watching him move between everyone’s Christmas dinner plate to munch on leftovers was
such a delight. He thoroughly enjoys his food because he has autonomy over what, and how much, he eats. Having experienced both styles of weaning, I now find it bizarre that this is seen as the “alternative” method of weaning. If you are interested in trying baby led weaning once your little one is ready, here are a few tips that I found helpful. Firstly, embrace the chaos. There is a lot more mess with BWL; we ourselves need a change of clothes at least once a day, not to mention your baby. Most of the grub initially ends up on the floor, the highchair, the wall and in their hair. Like all baby feeding, keeping a close eye on them is if the utmost importance. I did a first aid paediatric course recently, so I have the confidence to know that if he started choking, I would know what to do. There is a lot of bringing swallowed food back up and spitting them out. As an audience member, it takes some getting used to. Their body is just digesting food in its own natural way. Keeping relaxed is key to enjoying the process. If you are fixated with how much is going in you will be sorely disappointed during the initial stages. Trusting that your child knows how much he is ready to eat and continuing their milk feeds for as long as they need means that there’s no pressure on them to polish off a spud, even though that’s probably what they’ll be doing soon enough. Finally, as tempting as it might be a times, try to avoid helping them along to hurry things up. They need the practice to master this skill and unless they’re getting frustrated it’s just another form of play for them. The more independent they are, the more confident they will be in their ability to eat. They are developing a healthy relationship with their food, and a good habit like that will hopefully stay with them as they grow older. Your faith in them will pay back dividends when your child is munching away happily all by themselves you can enjoy a quick meal in peace!
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his head away or flail his arms and knock the spoon from my hand. He would get incredibly frustrated and scream until I gave up and began second guessing my parenting skills. Each time was the same, until one morning he grabbed the bowl from me and put the rim to his mouth, sucking the porridge himself. I scooped some with my fingers and presented the mess to him - if my hand was edible there wouldn’t have been a finger left. A few days later he was grabbing fistfuls himself, shoving them into his mouth with a surprising finesse.
babies / factfile
Pre-ter m Labour
FACT FILE:
Pre-term Labour Explained! with Midwife April Kavanagh
The term ‘pre-term’ describes a baby born before the end of the 37th week of pregnancy (gestation).
The appearance of the baby will depend on the stage of pregnancy at which they are born.
The causes of preterm labour are largely unknown and more often than not involve a series of influencing factors.
There are different ways to manage each situation and therefore it’s impossible to give a description of a blanket management for preterm babies/ labour. In every situation the midwives and the obstetricians will do their best to safely prolong pregnancy to term (37 completed weeks) while monitoring both baby’s and mother’s health and well being.
Some of these spontaneous causes include: 1. Multiple birth 2. Extremely high body temperature (of mother) due to infection 3. Short stature of mother 4. Water breaking prematurely caused by infection of the mother 5. History of previous preterm labour 6. Mother’s age 7. Incompetent cervix 8. Poor social circumstances 9. 40% unknown In some situations it may be advised to induce pregnancy early. Some examples of these are: 1. Rhesus incompatibility (mother’s blood and baby’s blood) 2. Congenital abnormalities 3. Poor growth of the baby 4. Disease in the mother, eg. renal (kidneys) or cardiac (heart) 5. High blood pressure/ pre-eclampsia 6. Placenta praevia, placental abruption
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If the mother has an ‘incompetent cervix’ and has a history of miscarriages, a cerclage may be inserted into the cervix in early pregnancy. This is a stitch that will keep the cervix closed, it is removed before delivery. A full history is taken from the mother to assess if any of the above risk factors are present. The mother is examined using a speculum if there is a chance he waters may have broken. Usually strict bed rest is prescribed and both mother and baby are monitored regularly to assess the well being of both. Unfortunately for mother, premature labour is monitored in hospital and may mean a long hospital stay. However this is a small price to pay for a happy, healthy outcome for all concerned.
Congenital Hypothyroidism This is a condition which results from the failure of the thyroid gland to produce the hormone thyroxine. There are a number of different forms of the condition and if untreated for several months after birth, severe congenital hypothyroidism can lead to growth failure and permanent intellectual disabilities. IS IT COMPULSORY?
The Heel-Prick Test Therese Handibode gives us the facts on this mandatory newborn test.
The newborn bloodspot screening programme, more commonly referred to as, ‘the heel-prick test’, was introduced to Ireland in 1966 and it screens newborn babies for metabolic abnormalities. Metabolic disorders affect the way in which your body makes energy from food and they can have serious health implications. The screening programme has changed somewhat over the years, with the most recent and significant change being the introduction of Cystic Fibrosis screening in July 2011. HOW ARE BABIES SCREENING UNDER THE PROGRAMME? Small blood samples are taken from a baby between 72 and 120 hours after birth and will be carried out either at the maternity hospital where the baby was born, by a public health nurse or midwife in your own home or by a general practitioner. In order to take the sample, a tiny needle will pierce the skin at a baby’s heel and the blood will be collected on a specific screening card which will be returned to the laboratory for analysis. Mothers are encouraged to cuddle or nurse their babies through the exam in order to provide warmth and comfort. WHAT CONDITIONS ARE BABIES SCREENED FOR? At present, there are 6 metabolic conditions covered under the programme:
CONDITION
APPROX. NO. OF BABIES AFFECTED IN IRELAND
Pheylketouria 1 in 4,500 Maple Syrup Urine Disease 1 in 125,000 Homocystiuria 1 in 65,000 Classical Galactosaemia 1 in 19,000 Cystic Fibrosis 1 in 1,500 Congenital Hypothyroidism 1 in 3,500
Cystic Fibrosis Cystic fibrosis (CF) is an inherited disease characterized by the build-up of thick, sticky mucus that can damage many of the body’s organs. Babies with the condition may not gain weight well and may suffer frequent chest infections. Newborn screening means that babies with CF are identified earlier, so that they can be treated with a high energy diet to improve weight gain and physiotherapy to improve lung function. Pheylketouria Phenylketonuria (PKU) is a genetic disorder in which the body can’t process part of a protein called phenylalanine (Phe). Phe is in almost all foods. If the Phe level gets too high, it can damage the brain and cause severe intellectual disability. Maple Syrup Urine Disease (MSUD) Maple syrup urine disease is an inherited disorder in which the body is unable to process certain protein building blocks (amino acids) properly. Beginning in early infancy, this condition is characterized by poor feeding, vomiting, lack of energy and developmental delay. Classical Galactosaemia Galactosemia is a disorder that affects how the body processes a simple sugar
Under current Irish Constitutional Law, parents do have the right to opt-out of the newborn blood screening programme, but it is covered under the Childcare Act, so refusing the test will be met with resistance from health care professionals. If parents do decide to opt-out, it is essential that they are fully aware of the potential health consequences to their baby and the risks associated with not being screened. If any of the conditions screened for are detected soon after birth, treatment can be started very early in life and significant health problems can be prevented. WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THE TEST? If babies have tested positive for any of the conditions included in the programme, the parents of baby with a positive result will be contacted directly. Sometimes, a further sample may be required where the results are inconclusive. This can happen where they want to either check the first result or because of a technical problem in the first analysis, such as a borderline result, or an insufficient quantity of blood had been collected. In most cases, treatment for these metabolic conditions consists of modification of the diet under careful medical supervision and people affected can live long and healthy lives. Detection is key and so the importance of this screening programme is clearly evident.
USEFUL CONTACTS Websites www.newbornscreening.ie www.hse.ie/go/newbornscreening Phone Numbers Children’s University Hospital, Temple Street 01-878 4200 National Newborn Bloodspot Screening Laboratory 01-878 4277 Programme Director, Professor Philip Mayne 01-878 4266
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called galactose, which is primarily part of a larger sugar called lactose. Lactose is found in all dairy products and many baby formulas.
celeb
just for mum
SPRING
Eilis Fitzgerald is the owner of www.heybaby.ie an award winning online baby store offering the coolest products for both mother and baby. She regularly features on TV as well as many leading magazines like Mums & Tots.
BABY BUZZ
WHAT’S 10lbs? You have got to love Drew Barrymore who has said she is eating what she wants during her pregnancy, despite her doctor advising her to “pull back”. “I want to enjoy the pasta right now! What’s 10lbs?”
IT’S A BOY We just love Gwen Stefani’s pregnancy style. Back in January, she revealed the sex of the new baby on Instagram “I was ready to hand over the crown but I guess I am still queen of the house. #itsaboy #surroundedbyboys”
CRAZY CELEB BABY NAMES NORTH WEST Kim and Kanye
APPLE MARTIN
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin
BEAR
Kate Winslet and also Alicia Silverstone
PRINCESS TIAAMI Katie Price
DENIM
Toni Braxton
BRONIX MOWGLI
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz
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GROUNDED Chris Hemsworth believes he is a better actor because his home life keeps him grounded. “Having a family allowed me to approach work with a lot more ease because I had something else now that is far more important to me and consumes a lot of my motivation and commitment.” Chris and wife Elsa Pataky are due twins in the coming months. They already have a little girl India Rose.
family / travel
The Island
of Eternal Spring
words by Roberta von Meding
Whether it a family holiday or a romantic getaway, Tenerife is a great destination. With a warm, sunny climate there is no off - peak time to visit ‘the island of eternal spring’. We visited in January which is their winter and the temperature never dropped below a balmy 20 degrees. Blissful, particularly for my ‘pale and interesting’ complexion!
T
he award winning Roca Nivaria Gran Hotel is located in the quiet area of Playa Paraíso (Costa Adeje) in the south of Tenerife, with breathtaking views of the Atlantic Ocean and La Gomera island.
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With 298 rooms in total, the Junior Suites are a great option for families, equipped with two rooms, an ensuite and a separate lounge area with capacity for two extra people. Each room is spacious, bright and airy with arguably the most comfortable beds in the world! It is well worth getting a room with a balcony and view of the ocean. There is nothing like waking up to that view, even if your kids are up at stupid o’clock. The hotel has two beautiful swimming pools, one heated with sea water with a temperature of 29 degrees and infinity views over the ocean and one with fresh water, which is a little cooler. There are two heated pools for children, one in the main pool area and one at the miniclub, both shaded under leafy palm trees. There is also an open-air jacuzzi beside the main pool and a large solarium on the hotel’s top floor for those seeking a little
more privacy. If you opt for an all inclusive package with the hotel then you can avail of lunch, snacks and drinks all poolside from the Ahemon restaurant anytime of day. There are no shortage of things to do for children at the Roca Nivaria. If you have a young baby or toddler, the baby club is open from 10am to 1pm and from 3pm to 6pm for babies aged 10 months to 3 years. Cots are available for naptime too. For older children, the kids’ club is for children aged 4 to 12 and is open from 10am to 6pm. The club provides a daily activity programme, games room, television room and an area with sand from the beach. When we visited the children had been making origami swans! Booking in advance of your stay is advised as the service is always in demand. While the kids are being taken care of,
family / travel
avail of the many activities available to guests of the Roca Nivaria; tennis, golf on a putting green, archery, volley ball and giant chess. If you prefer to relax and enjoy some pampering, then head to the Azules de Nivaria spa. Choose from one of the many spa treatments; indian head massage, detoxifying facial, hot stone therapy or take an hour to experience all
that the spa circuit has to offer. A highlight for us was the flotation tank which is a pool with a high concentration of salt in the water, that lets you float in total weightlessness allowing your muscles to relax. Bliss! The whirlpool is another great facility, with a variety of water jets, massage fountains for the neck, underwater jets and jets for the body and feet at different intensities. Slots for the spa circuit fill up fast so make it your first port of call to book yourself in. The Roca Nivaria offers a shuttle bus during the day to its sister hotels; Jardines de Nivaria and Hotel Colon Guanahani, located in the centre of the bustling shopping district of Playa de Fañabé, Costa Adeje, just 150 metres from the beach. The Hotel Colón Guanahan, is a stunning colonial stye hotel, for over 16s only so is
best if you are looking for a romantic break away. If you are visiting the area from the Roca Nivaria make sure to pop in and eat at their poolside La Pérgola restaurant which s renowned for its cuisine. It was a delight to dine at, with attentive staff and the most delicious tapas. We had fillet of beef with candied pear and local white fish on crisped sweet potatoes. The resident chef was actually Italian and made us some fresh pasta with gorgonzola cheese that was out of this world! To end the night we had a lightly sugar dusted chocolate fondant and went back to the Roca Nivaria a few lbs heavier! Tenerife is full of great activities for all the family. The beautiful National Park has an area of 18,990 hectares and is great for nature trails and picnic spots. It is the largest of the canary island’s national
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family / travel parks crowned by the Teide volcano which is staggering 3,718 m high. The drive up reminded me of Yosemite National Park, USA with the steady incline to the snow capped mountain (although with a volcano!). Visitors can take a cable car to the summit and take in the spectacular volcanic scape. Make sure to bring sensible footwear and a light jacket as it can be chilly. Take it slow and steady if you are going on a hike as the altitude does take some time to acclimatise to. Situated beneath spectacular 500 metre cliffs, Los Gigantes is a beautiful village full of water sports and marine activities, only 20 minutes away from Roca Nivaria. Los Gigantes Diving Centre is a family business operated by brother and sister Neville and Sheila Widdrington who offer family lessons in scuba diving and snorkelling. The waters of the area are usually very calm and clear, full with colourful fish. All equipment is provided and every tour has a licensed instructor to help. If you are visiting in the summer normal swimwear can be worn but in autumn and winter they provide wetsuits (which I was very grateful for in the 23 degree January waters! brr!) An unforgettable experience for us was an impromptu trip aboard the Flipper Uno for only €15 pp. So confident were they that we would see whales or dolphins that they said we could have our money back if we didn’t see one or the other. We were not disappointed! After sailing for 25 minutes, we had a dozen dolphins swimming beside our boat. It was amazing! On our way back, an official marine mammal guide explained everything about the dolphins, whales and the Los Girantes cliffs.
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Aer Lingus fly four days a week from Dublin to Tenerife and once a week from Cork to Tenerife. Fares start from €126.99 one-way including taxes and charges for travel to 31 Mar. For more information on fares and schedules and to book log on to www.aerlingus.com Adrian Hoteles has three exclusive hotels in Costa Adeje – the 5* Hotel Jardines de Nivaria, 5* Roca Nivaria Gran Hotel and 4* Hotel Colon Guanahani. For more information on all the hotels and reservations go to www.adrianhoteles.com For more information on Tenerife go to www.webtenerife.com
Ask for help. Grandparents, neighbors, friends, babysitters - they can all help you out when things get crazy. Join a support group In both the USA and the UK plenty of support groups are there for stay-at-home dads. If there is a local group you can join then why not give it a try. Men sometimes shy away from these groups, but they can be very useful for sharing experiences of fatherhood or even just talking. If you’re at home five days a week with only a four-monthold for company, you’ll be glad of any conversation you can get. Part-time work. Many stay-at-home dads work part-time. It’s always better to be honest with employers and let them know you are juggling baby care with work. They may even admire you for your multitasking skills.
Daddy
Diaries Words by Author of, ‘A Man’s Guide to Having a Baby’, Dominic Bliss
THE STAY-AT-HOME DAD Choose this role and you’re in a very small minority, but in the western world at least, it’s a minority that is growing everyday. A recent study by a UK insurance company stated that the father was the main carer in one out of seven UK families. It’s normally for financial reasons that fathers stay at home to look after the baby, but there are other factors, such as the ability to take a career sabbatical and the ability to work from home, that make the decision to defy convention more appealing. Think of yourself as unique.
Get outside. The one advantage you have over new mums is that you are physically stronger, not having gone through childbirth. This means you can be more mobile. Simply strap your baby into a baby carrier and head off to the park or playground. Ignore the sexism. As a male homemaker you are bound to be on the receiving end of a certain amount of sexism. Mothers may assume you’re not up to the job or that the baby’s mother has left you. Fathers may think you’ve thrown away your career or that you’ve lost your job. Treat sexism as a challenge. Your mates are likely to give you a bit of grief as well, but remember they are only teasing and you can be confident that the bond you develop with your child will be considerably stronger than if you were out at work all day. Encourage independence. The more you encourage your baby to fend for himself, the easier your job becomes. That doesn’t mean you can let him get the bus home on his own, but a bit of solo toy-play will get him used to being on his own occasionally.
daddy diaries
Learn how to multitask. Ever tried to get dressed and cook breakfast at the same time? For many women this is a cinch. For men, such multitasking can be impossible. However, all stay-at-home dads need to become multitasking experts. You can practice the skill by using multitasking tools, such as a hands-free phone or a front-mounted baby carrier. Playpens, baby bouncers and baby seats will keep the little one occupied on his own for at least a few minutes.
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Clinic
Get your answers here...
Send your question to hello@mumsandtots.ie
Q. I am due my first baby and it will be by
caesarean section due to gestational diabetes. I know that I will not be able to drive for 6 weeks. I am planning on breastfeeding but I would like to get some bras before the baby comes. Would it be advisable to just get 1 size up from my normal size?
A.
As you’re nearing the end of your pregnancy, you might already have bought a few maternity bras, but you’ll need new nursing bras immediately before and after the birth of your baby. I would recommend getting fitted at 38 weeks, again 2-4 weeks after your baby arrives (if you can manage it) then finally when your baby is 2-4 months old. Your first nursing bra should be fitted as close as possible to your due date, but remember to allow room for the increased cup size once the milk comes in (you’ll go up by at least one size), as well as inserts for collecting leaks. Your ribcage will reduce back to its pre-pregnant size soon after the birth so you’ll need to make sure bras purchased before your baby arrives are on the loosest fitting – allowing you to tighten them up later. You might find that your nursing bras don’t fit a couple of months after the birth, so you’ll need to buy smaller ones. It can be tempting to ‘make do’ but properly fitting underwear can make all the difference, allowing you to enjoy your new baby without the nuisance of backache. Laura Tenison, founder of JoJo Maman Bébé, was living in Brittany, Western France when she fell in love with the region’s elegant Breton style. Laura decided a revolution in maternity fashion was needed. 20 years on, there are now 52 JoJo stores across the UK and Ireland, with many more in the pipeline.
Q.
I am 36 weeks pregnant and suffering with terrible pain at the front of my pelvis and groin. I am terrified about giving birth naturally. Is it too late to get help?
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Girdle Pain (PGP), which is a very common problem associated with pregnancy. 20% will suffer from PGP at some point during their pregnancy. Firstly, no it is not too late to get help. A Chartered Physiotherapist, trained in Women’s Health, and specifically PGP, can assess you at any point during your pregnancy whether you are in your first trimester or in the last few weeks like yourself, right up to being full term. Your Physiotherapist can then treat your pelvic pain with manual therapy techniques, exercise prescription and advice. During your treatment your Physiotherapist can also advise you on the best way to manage active labour and on the most appropriate birthing positions. This can then be discussed further with your Midwife or Obstetrician. I would strongly advise that you have an assessment with a Chartered Physiotherapist as soon as possible. With potentially 4 weeks to go, it is very likely your pain can be alleviated completely or certainly to a level which you can confidently manage a natural delivery. I would also advise a post-natal check of your pelvis, abdominal and pelvic floor muscles after your baby is born. Hana Burrow is a Chartered Physiotherapist treating ante and post natal women for pelvic girdle pain and pelvic floor dysfunction. As well as 12 years working experience she is a mother of 1 daughter with a second baby on the way!
Q. How can I help reduce my dark circles? A. This is a multi-faceted answer, as there is no
simple way to solve this problem, but rather, the solution is multi layered. Firstly, it is imperative that you take care of yourself. This means drinking plenty of water and getting plenty of sleep. I understand that as new mums this can be very difficult, so the next layer is skincare. Use an eye serum and an eye cream that is targeted to dark circles. The skin around the eye is the only skin area of the face incapable of producing its own oil. A serum will
deeply penetrate the skin and work deeper to reduce the dark circles, while a cream will deeply moisturise and brighten the eye area. You can also cosmetically reduce dark circles with makeup. An orange toned corrector will help reduce purples and blues around the eye. Available from some cosmetics brands, the orange tones actually neutralise the dark circles, meaning less concealer is needed afterwards. Finish with a highlighting concealer, and dark circles will be visibly diminished. While all of these steps are individually effective at reducing the appearance of dark circles, doing all of these things will ensure that dark circles are a thing of the past. Vincent Salinitri is an international makeup artist with experience in fashion, film, TV, theatre, editorial and special effects. Vincent has a portfolio of loyal clients, including celebrities and royalty. Formerly a Senior Face Designer for Giorgio Armani Cosmetics, Vincent is now the National Creative and Educational Co-Ordinator for Beauty Team Ireland where he hosts classes and tutorials, and plays host to his personal clients.
Q.
I know I should breastfeed but is it really necessary. It sounds so time consuming and sore!
A.
Reports suggest only 50% of Irish mother’s breastfeed, compared to the reported 80% in the UK. There are many reasons to give it a go. It’s handy, cheaper, environmentally friendly, is generally accepted in public, soothing for the baby as you act as your babies dummy and it is very healthy for the baby and for you. It is recommended that babies are breast fed for the first 6 months. Why is breast best? Well, breast milk has unique antibodies or disease-fighting cells that help protect the infant from numerous illnesses and diseases. The illnesses that breastfeeding is considered to reduce the risk of include; lung infections, sudden infant death syndrome, infections of the gut, overweight/ obesity as well as high blood pressure. There are some other reported benefits, which need more
research, but include behavioural and intellectual benefits. Research suggests that for the mother, it may help reduce your risk of diabetes, breast and ovarian cancers as well as low mood. Ireland doesn’t bode well in terms of statistics of mothers’ breastfeeding, but where it is really falling behind is in women trying to breastfeed and also continuing to breastfeed after the first month. I would advise giving it a go, if it doesn’t work, ask for help. If you’re struggling, ask for help! Remember to eat well, get plenty of fluids and as much rest as possible. Orla Walsh (B.Sc Physiology, M. Sc Clinical Nutrition, PgDip Dietetics) operates a dietetic clinic on Thursdays and Fridays in the Dublin Nutrition Centre. Office 016398852. Orla@dnc.ie
Q.
I was told I have a reduced ovarian reserve – what does this mean?
A.
Measuring ovarian reserve gives an indication of how many eggs you have left. If you have a low ovarian reserve it may be more difficult to conceive and you may have a higher risk of miscarriage. Ovarian reserve is now commonly determined by having a blood test for Anti Mullerian Hormone (AMH). This blood test can be taken at any stage of the cycle and typically costs €80.00. Additional tests of ovarian reserve include a blood test on day 3 of the cycle for FSH – which should be less than 10iu. The antral follicle count by ultrasound can also give an indication of ovarian reserve. AMH is a new test and most of the studies have been in IVF patients. In this population AMH is useful to predict responsiveness to stimulation protocols, and likelihood of success with IVF treatment. However in IVF you need a large number of eggs to give a better chance of success. According to a review paper published in the Obstetrician and Gynaecologist by Bhide and colleagues in 2012, AMH tests need to be interpreted with caution. The AMH blood test cannot predict when you will enter
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the menopause, which typically occurs at the age of 50. In addition low AMH levels cannot reliably predict your ability to conceive naturally. Recent clinical experience with NaPro FertilityCare in Ireland shows successful pregnancy is possible in couples with very low AMH levels, even in those with previous failed IVF. For natural conception you only need one egg at a time and do not need to produce multiple follicles for success. So if you have reduced ovarian reserve, our advice is a healthy diet, rest, sunshine, exercise and follicle stimulation for 6 to 12 cycles to allow for natural conception. Try not to worry, and with a bit of luck (and patience) success will follow. Dr. Phil Boyle is the Director of two NaPro FertilityCare Clinics in Galway and Dublin, Ireland and Director of FertilityCare Centres of Europe. He is President of the International Institute for Restorative Reproductive Medicine along with being an active member of the American Academy of FertilityCare professionals (AAFCP) and a certified FertilityCare Physician (CFCP). Visit www.napro.ie for more information about NaPro FertilityCare.
to avoid too many games that designate a clear winner. When she does experience upset at losing, do be sympathetic but you will also need to be clear on acceptable and unacceptable responses to frustrations - she needs your guidance on this. I wouldn’t worry too much about it at this stage though as you will find that without any intervention on your part she will develop the skills to deal with the disappointment of losing and over time will manage these situations better. Anne O’ Connor (B.A. M.App.Sci.) is a Child Clinical Psychologist and founder of RollerCoaster.ie., holding a B.A. in Psychology and a Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology and a further Masters Degree in Applied Behaviour Analysis. In her clinical practice, Anne specialises in psychological services to young children with developmental delay including autism. Anne also runs a preschool behaviour clinic, which helps parents manage preschool behaviour problems such as sleep problems, feeding problems and aggression.
Q.
Q.
My 5 year old is very afraid of losing and takes it very badly. This often robs her of enjoyment when we have a game of cards or a ball game. I don’t know how to manage it. Any advice?
A.
I think you will find that many other parents would have had very similar experiences when it comes to competitive play and their children. Some parents actively encourage their children to be very competitive from a young age – something, which I believe can cause problems for their children in the long run. However, this does not sound like something that you are actively encouraging. During their development, children go through many different stages. They will insist that theirs is the best toy, the best mommy or daddy. They love being number one - this is a reflection of their joy at being themselves and seeing themselves as separate individuals. If your daughter gets very upset when playing competitive games it may be best to try
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I am 21 weeks pregnant and my skin is terrible. I usually have very good skin. I thought I was meant to be glowing by now!!
A.
What’s the first telltale sign of a pregnant woman? That “pregnancy glow” of course! Your skin may not be behaving as well as your lovable bun in the oven and unfortunately skin concerns are very common during pregnancy but here are a few ways to understand them and most important combat them! Hormonal shifts during pregnancy increase androgens in the body and can cause the sebaceous glands to go into overdrive which boosts the production of sebum. This in turn can block your pores and lead to inflammation and breakouts. Make sure to cleanse, treat and moisturise your face in the morning and again at night to rid skin of dirt and bacteria. Look for sulfur-based topical products, as well as products containing AHAs or glycolic acid to encourage cell turnover. Resist the urge to pick at any breakouts, as this can lead to inflammation and possible scarring. Also, while pregnant don’t use products containing high levels of salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide both commonly found in acne
products and avoid Vitamin A (and its derivatives) or any retinoids. Also remember that topical skincare is just 20%, to reach the other 80% you also need to look internally! Diet and emotional well - being will affect your skin way more than skincare ever can so ensure you have a healthy balance by including lots of raw fruit and vegetables in your diet. Drink plenty of water and take some time out for yourself, laugh with friends, go to that yoga class or go to a spa for a facial! Michelle Murray is the Spa director at Pink Dundrum Town Centre. With a background in nursing Michelle has perfected her understanding of resultsdriven, medically safe spa treatments for women pre and post pregnancy. Michelle is now based in the level 5 Signature Day Spa and recently developed a new menu of relaxing and corrective spa treatments for both comfort and safety during pregnancy.
Q.
Does a newborn baby need to travel rearward-facing?
A.
Yes, up to 13kg your newborn is safest travelling in a rearward-facing car seat. In an accident, the car seat and belt will take the force of the impact while fully supporting your baby’s head and neck. You can choose to have a baby car seat (also called an infant carrier) that is compatible with a pushchair or a combination car seat that will take your child from birth up to 18kg.
Q.
Do I have to use a car seat base with a baby car seat?
Q.
We already have life cover on our mortgage but now with a new child, is there a need for further life cover and what other insurance cover would you recommend us to consider at this time?
A.
This is a sensible and responsible approach to raising a family. Ideally you should have life cover outside of mortgage protection which is mandatory, up to 10 times your net annual income once you have dependents and only up to completion of their 3rd level education. Health insurance (through GloHealth, VHI, Aviva, Laya Health who offer free cover for children under 3 years of age) should now include the new born, while income protection (also called Permanent Health Insurance) covers up to 75% of your monthly income should you be incapacitated and unable to work for any reason. This takes effect usually after 6 months of incapacitation and pays out until you return to work or your pension kicks in. Remember also all premiums on income protection policies paid attract tax relief at your marginal rate – the only insurance cover that does. Repayment protector covers your mortgage up to 12 months against accident, sickness or, importantly, redundancy. Consideration should be given to all the above. John Lowe is a fellow of the Institute of Bankers and Managing Director of Money Doctor the trading name of Providence Finance Services Ltd Stillorgan Co Dublin and author of the best selling: The Money Doctor Finance Annual 2013 plus 50 Ways to Wealth. Follow John on Twitter (@themoneydoc) Linkedin & Facebook. For consultations call +353 1 278 5555 or visit www.moneydoctor.ie
A.
All Maxi-Cosi car seats can be installed in the car with the car seat belt but I highly recommend the use of a belted or IsoFix base as the click-on/ click-off system makes the seat easier to use and you are less likely to install the car seat incorrectly. Shane Dowling has been one of MaxiCosi’s expert car seat fitters and trainers for the past seven years and currently travels the country ensuring all retailers are fully trained on all legislation and the fitting of car seats to ensure your little ones are never at risk.
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www.mothercare.ie
Q. What is a travel system and what is the difference between a pushchair and a stroller?
A.
When it comes to buying a pram, pushchair or stroller the options can be overwhelming. Travel systems solve a lot of problems but how do new parents choose pushchairs that are right for them? Parents are spoiled for choice but want something that will suit their family life. The most important thing is to choose a pushchair that suits your lifestyle. If you’re on and off public transport or on planes for holidays you’ll need something lightweight and easy to fold. If you drive, check the pushchair fits into the boot of your car. For those who walk a lot, a roomy shopping basket gives you extra storage. Consider the size of your home – will your pushchair fit through the front door, down narrow hallways or up and down stairs? Choose a buggy with all-terrain wheels if you live by the beach or enjoy walking in the countryside.
Q. Why buy at Mothercare? A.
• Parents can visit any of the 22 stores nationwide to try out the range. • Expert, fully trained staff will offer advice and demonstrations on a huge range of pushchairs. • Shop online and compare features on www.mothercare.ie and avail of free delivery anywhere in Republic of Ireland. • Mothercare offers a two year guarantee on all pushchairs and strollers. • Price Match means that they won’t be beaten on price and will match any like product for price. • The Family Card offers 5% back on all purchases. The Lingo: Doubles & Tandems Doubles (side by side) have both seats suitable from birth. Tandems (one seat in front of the other) generally with one seat suitable from birth and the other from 6 months. Prams & Pushchairs Mothercare prams and pushchairs are suitable from birth. Create your own travel system with a compatible infant car seat by choosing one of the complete packages. Strollers These are the ligthest, most easily transportable pushchairs. Ideal if you are using public transport or going on holiday. Jonny Ward is a fully trained Car Seat Expert who started working in the business part-time from a young age and has worked his way up through the ranks to his current position as Operations Director. He has championed car seat safety from early on and is largely responsible for the nationwide free Check it Fits campaigns.
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Q. I have been offered a second hand car seat for €60, is it okay to use this for my two year old?
A.
Car seats are the one area that you should never cut corners on. You cannot be sure of the history of the car seat. Has it been involved in an accident? Has it been dropped? is it damaged in some way that is not visible? Even if you know the seat’s history, wear and tear will mean that belts may not be as tight as they should be. There are many things to consider when purchasing a car seat, but it should always be new. With prices starting from €59.99, there will be a good value, affordable seat that is suitable and safe for your toddler. Mothercare runs free Check it Fits services in all stores nationwide, whereby fully trained car seat experts check car seats are fitted correctly. They also demonstrate how to fit the car and help families choose the seat that best suits their needs, their child and their car. We know how important it is to keep your child safe when travelling by car and choosing the right car seat can be a difficult decision. With our free ‘Check it Fits’ service, our fully trained car seat experts will help you pick the seat that’s fits both your child and your car. So how do you choose the right seat for your child? A lot of people don’t realise that it’s the weight that matters. All car seats are divided into groups and it’s the child’s weight that is responsible for determining which stage seat is suitable. Seating a child in the wrong seat may prevent the seat from protecting them in the case of an accident. Another element to keep in mind is that not all seats are compatible with all cars. We recommend that you always try the car seat in your own car before you buy. Also, it’s important to ensure that your seat suits your lifestyle. You need to consider portability and who will be using the car seat in their car, ie grand-parents etc. Mothercare stock over a hundred car seats from all the major brands so we’re sure to find the right seat for you. We are running our nationwide car seat safety campaign, Check it Fits with free advise and fitting service throughout March, see www.mothercare.ie for dates and locations. Laura Ward is Marketing Director at Mothercare Ireland. Having worked in the family business, Laura has worked across the business from stores to fashion to marketing and is a fully trained Sleep Expert. She has grown through the ranks to her current position.
Q. There are so many different types of car seats out
there, what should I be using for my child and when should I change seats?
Infant Carrier Maxi-Cosi Cabrio Fix, €116.99, Mothercare
A.
A baby grows rapidly and as their weight and height changes, so too does the need for a safe and comfortable car seat. Infant Car Seat: An infant car seat is suitable from birth to 29lbs, approximately up to 12 to 15 months. They are rearward facing, lightweight and portable, with a carry handle. Many models are compatible with ISOFIX bases. Combination Car Seat: A combination seat is suitable from birth to 40lbs, approximately up to 4 years. It is to be used rearward facing from birth to 20lbs and forward facing from 20lbs to 40lbs. The seat has an integral harness and is secured with an adult seatbelt. Forward Facing Car Seat: Suitable from 20lbs to 40lbs, approximately 9 months to 4 years, the forward facing car seat is adjustable to various recline positions. Many models are compatible with ISOFIX or an ISOFIX base.
Highback Booster, €59.99, Mothercare
High Back Booster with Harness: Suitable from 20lbs to 79lbs, approximately 9 months to 11 years. The high back booster with integrated harness is forward facing and uses an integral harness from 20-22lbs and is used with a vehicle belt from 33-79lbs. High Back Booster without Harness: Suitable from 33lbs to 79lbs, approximately 4 to 11 years, the high back booster without harness is forward facing, secured with an adult seatbelt only and most models come with ISOFIX attachments. Booster Seat: Suitable from 33lbs to 79lbs, approximately 4 to 11 years, the booster seat is forward facing, secured by an adult seat belt and is a very useful back up option for grandparent’s car or unexpected situations. If you would like more advice, pop into a Mothercare store where one of our highly skilled, fully trained car seat experts will advise you on the best option for you, your baby and your car and also demonstrate how to correctly fit a car seat.
Xpedior with Cosytoe, €349.99, Mothercare
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