Don’t Skip T H I S
C O V I D
CHRISTMAS by Jean Eisenmann| photo courtesy of Jean Eisenmann
I
, for one, refuse to let a pandemic cheat me out of celebrating Christmas. I want to dash through the snow and have Jack Frost nip at my nose (oh, yeah, we’re in Texas). Okay, then I’m going to jingle all the way…as soon as I find out what that means, and if it’s legal. In other (lyric-free) words, I want the full holiday deal.
Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle at the
ribbon, and with a circle-backslash symbol
midst of COVID-19. The calendar says ‘tis
‘em smooch on their own thresholds.
thought of letting your heart be light in the the season, and we need more than ever to be merry and bright. Right this very
minute. Whether we have a little or a lot, Christmas is cause for celebration. This year, my husband Van and I are inviting
friends over, but you’d
better not pout, and I’m
telling you why. Because we’ll be paying strict
attention to complying with COVID-19
safety measures. This will not be a treetrimming party. It
wouldn’t be sanitary for
displayed prominently on the front. Let We decided to skip having a sit-down dinner this year. Dishes have to be
passed around the table, each piece
collecting germ-ridden
I’M GOING TO JINGLE ALL THE WAY…AS SOON AS I FIND OUT WHAT THAT MEANS, AND IF IT’S LEGAL.
everyone to touch the ornaments. Can you imagine how difficult it would be
to wash tinsel before packing it away?
Mistletoe will be hung by the front door
because it’s traditional and festive. But no
puckering and blending of saliva particles. Solution: the bough will be encased in a clear plastic bag tied with a cheery red 26 | LAKE CITIES LIVING | DECEMBER 2020
fingerprints until the plates’ patterns are
unrecognizable. My
thought was to place
In a box. Now the search is on for holiday condiment packets.
In lieu of glove party favors I’ve chosen
mini Christmas stockings, each one stuffed with a pocket-sized hand sanitizer bottle in a popular holiday scent. Nothing says Christmas like the lingering smell of eggnog on your hands.
This is the first Christmas ever that we’ll be serving fruitcake. It was made five years
ago, well before COVID-19, and therefore should be safe for human consumption. If guests grimace at the sight it’ll become a door prize, and the lucky recipient’s new
doorstop or their kid’s science experiment.
colorful gloves in
Our final plan is to roast chestnuts on
at each place setting
tradition, but to sterilize them
party favors, and
All in all, it can be a holly jolly – though
Christmas patterns
an open fire. Not for the taste, nor the
under the guise of
before eating.
then emphasize that everyone needs to
wear them throughout dinner, as it adds
to the festivities. Van pointed out the
awkwardness of maneuvering plastic
utensils while wearing woolen gloves.
Says a man who’s tried it never. Hey, I said gloves, not mittens, bless his heart.
Instead, we’re going with “box dinners.”
You know, like box lunches, but…dinner.
uncommon – Christmas. Whatever you
make of it, remember that through good times and bad, it’s a wonderful life we
live in this great country. And it’s the most wonderful time of the year. Whether
you’ve been naughty or nice, just don’t
be a humbug during the holidays. Make this a December to remember, not for
the pandemic, but for the good tidings,
comfort and joy we bring to each other. Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas, y’all.
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