A New Type of Friend

ISSUE XIX LINGERERS

A New Type of Friend

I used to feel like I had so many friends, and while that should be a good thing, it was stressful. Catching up with friends was exhausting and brought on a subsequent question: am I bad friend? The answer was ‘yes.’ If you’ve dealt with similar situations and feelings, that doesn’t have to be a negative. Before you submerge yourself in a pool of guilt, remember that a good friend recognizes when they’re falling into the bad friend range. This generation of social media usually forgets to put their phones down and stop networking. When our phones are finally down, we may even confuse “networking” with “making friends.” We network like our lives depend on it, because today’s job markets are fast-paced, and we’re being prepared for the real world. But once we’ve accumulated so many people in our lives, it becomes taxing to manage the plethora of relationships at our fingertips. A wise man once tweeted, “I have 8 friends.” That man was Tyler the Creator. Friends come and go, but it’s the ‘lingerers’ which interest me. ‘Lingerers’ are like LinkedIn

By Pravieena Gnanakumar connections. They give you the occasional ‘like’ or ‘love’ on the latest updates, an invite to a pre on Facebook, or the classic “Omg, we should catch up soon!” I’m definitely guilty of all these things, especially the latter.

Good friends don’t string these ‘lesser friendships’ along, they make an effort and prioritize. But when making an effort becomes too difficult to do with so many people, perhaps it’s time to question the size of your social circle. The more often we do this, and the more people that do, the less time we spend with bad friends. Despite feeling like I’ve had too many relationships to manage, there have still been a countless number of

9 moments where I’ve needed support and haven’t received it in the way I would’ve appreciated. I used to think that this mentality came from a place of bitterness towards those that weren’t always there for me, but I combatted that feeling by thinking about it in reverse; how many people have I neglected? Then you think, is this person my friend, or just another connection? As unfortunate as it is to demote someone who was once a friend, you might need to do this for your sanity and out of respect for the two of you; you can’t lie to yourselves and falsely call every connection a ‘friendship.’ During this era of followers and “clout”, we often forget that some people just aren’t going to be around forever. It’s a harsh reality, but it’s true. Next time your social circle starts to shrink, remember that you don’t need everybody to be your friend. There’s no need to block those ex-friends, but attempt to find balance between networking and friendships. Oftentimes, the voices of the ‘lingerers’ have been overshadowing the other ones, so channel your time and energy into your small social circle and embrace its impact.