INTRO DUCTION ‘Me, Myself, & You’ is a culmination of a semester’s worth of artistic exploration of understanding the Self—myself— over the span of a semester. The main theme of exploring and understanding myself was not an intentional decision per se, but more of something that developed as this portfolio grew. The first half of this portfolio actually developed around the gesture of instruction, harnessing each medium through some form of instruction. However, as this portfolio reached completion and came together, I began to notice how each project had stemmed and grown from some notion of the Self. Whether that was the Self striving to understand loss, or the Self striving to delve further into or out of itself, or the Self striving to understand how it loved others through itself—how the Self was much more layered beyond the notion of an isolated, internal entity. And while this made me wonder about how my art practice is based around my own personal experiences, I also felt that the same could not be said for this portfolio. While I did attempt to embrace the fact that I source my practice from my personal life, I also attempted to create projects that engaged viewers in such a way so as to not let them feel left out because the content was not relatable for them, or they were not ‘artistic’ enough to understand and
appreciate the projects. Moreover, as the portfolio reached completion, I began to view these projects as individual wholes, rather than as fragments, which is why there is no order for how you may view them. These projects had a life of their own because of the journey they took me on and the potential they held for each viewer, as I had to leave these projects in their place, complete and autonomous, carrying forth only ever-evolving notions of the Self that crept through. And thus we enter the Self—me, myself, & you—you, the viewer, the contributor, the inspiration, the delighted, the amused, the downhearted, the frustrated, the beloved, the light, the fragment and reflection of myself, the separate entity that is whole in its existence but also makes me whole in mine. Me, Myself, & You—let us start. SELF–LOSS The Self is stubborn; it demands to hold onto to the most mundane of things—the most traumatic of things. But the Self is also tired of the paranoia that accompanies that tenacity, thus S e l f – l o s s was born. An instruction manual aimed at helping viewers/readers to not fear loss by owning it, by conducting it themselves rather than losing their sense of power to others. This manual utilised a mixed-media approach, using digital art, documentation, and scanning to create a poem between a beloved friend and
myself—to create something of our own—to love it, remember it, and then let it go, and with it, the fear of loss. SELF–ARCHIVE The Self remains stubborn because it is so sentimental about the smallest of things and the biggest of memories. It thrives under the comfort of an archived order, for it helps the Self to deal with its sentimentality in compartments, in folders, and not be overwhelmed, or so the Self would like to think. A reflection on my various archives, both alive, dead, and in between, this project utilised the medium of computer/folder art. While the initial idea was to have documents with my reflections, I decided to choose the route that previous artists have chosen and utilise the file name as my space to speak. This was fascinating in how the limit I had before me forced me to truly think about each archive and find that one thought, that one emotion about it. The folders are presented in a way so as to reflect my typical style of keeping folders, although I have played with one. These archives are incredibly subjective, and thus folder art felt like the most appropriate medium in helping the viewer to feel like they were peering into something personal.
SELF–LAYERED The Self is entangled with every fragment of its mother, because the Self has had to understand that there is no separating the mother from Her Self. The Self recalls how all our troubles stem from our mothers, and it makes the Self wonder, what burdens does each mother carry? What does the Self carry from the mother—their mother—her mother—from mama? This was a really personal piece that utilised the gesture of instruction in the medium of a dictionary, combining the two to produce something that can proclaim enough authority to invite a reader—a reader who wouldn’t run away as they saw the juggling act between the dictionary being emotional but trying to not be too overwhelming. This dictionary was also a defining piece for the portfolio in terms of helping me to understand how layered the notion of the Self is, and thus how that notion can be spread out and found in each project somehow. SELF–SPOKEN The Self feels deeply and thus sees deeply; in colours it hears, recalls, tastes, smells, sees something more than memories. It sees the experience of being it Self spread across instances of playing the role of someone insignificant
next to someone else’s Self—or maybe not insignificant. The Self is not internal; it is not Self-absorbed but Self-heard and S e l f – s p o k e n . An instruction manual on how to hear silence, it utilised the simple idea of helping the viewer to immerse themselves in their Self by isolating them simply with a colour. It is their decision to hate it, like it, be reminded of something by it, or what have they. The major concern that I had with this project as an artist was the accessibility of it; this project was dependent on the viewer being from the able-bodied/visually-able community, and while I still ponder how the differently-abled version would be created, it felt important to mention that on the manual. SELF–YOU The Self is delighted because it has realised that even if it is Self-absorbed, it is not alone. Just has the Self has a place in the existence of the Self of others, others have a place in the heart of the Self. Those others are all story-tellers for the Self, for they all help the Self to write its own story. Collaborative art and practices is something that has fascinated me, and as a writer I lately began to wonder why the book cover only carries the name of one when the effort is that of many. Thus, this project was an attempt of creating an anthology consisting of works by friends, written on the spot in front of me.
Of course, later on it was pointed out at how awkward and pressurizing that is, making a friend write something for you on the spot, but in my defence I wanted to cherish the view of friends writing. In return for their contributions, the writers were given the choice of receiving a piece from me (written in front of them), a hug or a chocolate, or nothing. Some chose a piece, some chose nothing (much to my frustration). The process of compiling this involved accepting how I cannot control every single detail and must accept the form and pace that people work at, and respect their comfort level. The medium was initially a handmade book, because of the authority that the book form carries. However, after receiving feedback, it felt better to utilise the scanning medium. This allowed me to keep everyone’s handwriting and the original book format, which is something I valued, whilst also allowing me to respond to each piece in some way through the scanner. The medium of the scanner is so immediate in its nature, and after working with it on two projects, I can safely say there is no other medium like it. No other medium that lets you ‘photograph’ in a way that is unpredictable and out of your control but still full of so many possibilities and so much emotion. I felt that scanning myself literally interacting with the book really brought out the live element in this live experiment, carrying forth that sense for the viewer as well. And just as each piece is different and subjective, so is my response to
each one, and it turns into this interesting way of illustrating each piece with my hands and/or the flowers around me and the technology of the scanner itself. The process itself was really enjoyable because initially I thought I’d scan the pieces and do something with them digitally, but the immediacy of the format just provoked me to limit myself to the scanner and capturing my interaction with the work. There was some photo editing done to make the pieces more visible, but other than that this was an on-the-spot rework of the original book. My only hope is that the viewer feels something from the presence of different elements in each photo—feels as much as I did when undertaking this process, from the compilation to the final form. CONCLUSION The Self is vast and layered to the point of not being limited to one medium or one method. It demands to be explored with effort; effort that involves one constantly interacting and re-interacting with the notion of the Self as we explore the different parts of its forest. You swim across rivers; run across trees; climb to new heights; rest under shade. There is so much to be explored within ourselves if we complicate our understanding of the Self. And that understanding doesn’t necessarily have to be laden with academia; that understanding can be a simple conclusion reached through an exploration, like this one. And that point is important to make when we make art or how we
understand our methods and art. There has been enough exclusivity in art and academia; it is time to push the doors open and let the illiterate, the drop-outs, the working class, the unsure, the dejected artists, the hopeful souls through. That is my final hope for this portfolio, that I made room for the viewer—for you—when exploring myself. That it wasn’t me, myself and I, but me, my Self, & You.