THANKS CUTIE PIE I want to thank you first and foremost for picking up this book of sorts, whether it was handed to you by me, or if you found it laying around. After going through 3 years of high school thus far, I’ve realized what a toxic, vile place it is. It’s not just the high school I’m going to, I think it’s high school in general. It’s this big culmination of homophobic people, and girls that make mean comments about what other people are wearing and it’s not cool. This manifesto is an attempt to fix that, to make high school a little less toxic, and to teach people to freaking be nice to each other. So once again, thanks.
Once you’re done reading this, please either give it to a friend, or leave it in a public place for a stranger to find!!
SLUT SHAMING (why it isn’t very kawaii) •
•
•
When I first started really getting into clothes and fashion, I often found myself trying on clothes in stores that I thought looked super cute on me, but I often found myself at a crossroads on whether I wanted to buy it or not. Often I would get in my own way, deciding that the shiny disco pants I had in my hands weren’t “me enough” and I worried what other people would think if they saw me wearing them. For years prior, I ridiculed other girls for wearing clothes that I wasn’t comfortable wearing myself, and it wasn’t until I had my own personal encounter with “slut-shaming” that I was able to see the fault in it. After seeing pictures online of girls pairing stockings with casual clothes and basically being the cutest things ever, I finally got the courage to go buy a pair of stockings myself. It was probably a month before I ever had an occasion to wear them, I was actually going downtown with my boyfriend to watch his band perform at a small house show. I spent ages in front of the mirror, debating whether or not I felt comfortable wearing them outside the house. After several minutes of talking myself into it, I felt really confident and pretty, and I left for my boyfriend’s show. The show went wonderfully and everyone was really awesome and being really kind towards me. After the show, we stopped to get gas and water bottles from a nearby gas station. I walked hand-in-hand with my boyfriend up the Quiktrip door, when we passed a group full of girls gathering around a nearby Redbox machine. Immediately, they all began looking me up and down, and not so subtly whispering among
themselves, all with the nastiest looks on their faces. They didn’t have to say it, but I knew exactly what they were thinking. They were judging me for my choice of clothing, because you know, how dare someone wear clothing that you wouldn’t feel comfortable in. My collar was up to my neck, and my skirt was down to my fingertips (Not that any of that matters!!) but lordy, that oh-so scandalous TWO INCHES OF LEG I WAS REVEALING must’ve really rubbed them the wrong way. The whole experience made me realize that if someone is going to write me off of their list of potential friends, purely because of the length of my skirt or the height of my collarline, they’re probably not someone worth being friends with. At the end of the day, if someone is a fantastic person and they happen to be wearing a short skirt, it makes them no less fantastic. The same goes for any article of clothing whether it be a fuzzy fuscia sweater or sparkly hot pants. WEAR WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY I REPEAT: WEAR WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
Your body belongs to you and no one else should dictate what you do to it!! Furthermore, there is nothing inherently degrading about loving your body and showing it off, what’s degrading is being judged for it. As girls, we all face immense pressure from the unachievable beauty standards that the media sets before us, and as a result we all face insecurities from time to time (if you don’t , I envy you!!) and rather than trying to bring other ladies down, we really should be trying to raise each other up. If you see a rockin’ gal who has super cute clothes
and rad ideas, don’t be intimidated, go be friends with them. It’s not a contest, we’re all fighting the same battle here. The sooner we’re all able to begin defining what beauty means to us as an individual, and accepting that other people may have different ideas of beauty, the happier we’ll all be.
MY CLOTHING IS NOT A MEASURE OF MY SELF RESPECT I KNOW THAT I’M A WORTHWHILE PERSON AND I ALSO KNOW MY BUTT LOOKS FAB IN THIS DRESS
BODY POSITIVITY Body positivity is the whole concept of being kind to people regardless of what their body type is, and accepting the idea that all bodies are beautiful (no one body type is better than any other!!) None of this “real girls have curves” or “thigh gap > pizza” crap. Want to know the secret to being a “real woman”? Identify as a woman. Done. People come in all shapes and sizes, and it’s not fair for you, or anyone else to assume that just because someone weighs more than you, that you’re healthier than them, better than them, etc. It’s just not nice. Often times, people think it’s their job to police other people’s bodies, to tell them how much or how little they should be eating. No one would think twice about a thin girl ordering a cheeseburger at Mcdonalds, but if it was an overweight girl, others would often take note, wondering why she didn’t opt to order a salad instead. There seems to be this consensus in our country that thin is what’s attractive, and being curvy is only seen as attractive if it fits within certain guidelines. When people branch outside of these boundaries, people consider it their job to “fix them”. If they’re too thin, people will tell them to eat more, if people are too overweight, they will tell them to eat less and it’s NOT COOL. It’s just like how people discriminate against people with lots of tattoos, “Why on earth did you get all those tattoos? Won’t you get tired of them?”. People need to understand that it’s not anyone’s job to tell other people what to do with their bodies, and just because someone doesn’t fit into your little box of what you personally deem as attractive, it doesn’t make their choices somehow invalid. It’s okay to be fat, and it’s okay to be skinny. The important thing is that you’re happy!! As long as you’re nourishing your body, no one else has a say about it except you. It’s not cool to tell people that they need to “dress for their body type”. No. A girl who weighs 290 pounds is just as justified in wearing leggings as a girl who’s 90 pounds. It’s not a woman’s job to be aesthetically pleasing, it’s not anyone’s job to be aesthetically pleasing, stop assuming that it is.
SEX POSITIVITY Have you ever wondered why it is totally a-okay for boys to brag about their various sexual experiences, but if a girl does the same thing, she’s labeled as a “loose woman” a “floozy” or even worse “a whore”?? The truth is, there’s nothing inherently wrong about having sex !! You’re not a floozy, or a whore or a slut for engaging in sexual activity, you’re not frigid or “a tease” for not having sex either. It’s okay to have lots of sex! It’s okay to have no sex at all! Your body belongs to you, and the choice is entirely yours. As long as what you’re doing is consensual and safe, no one else has any business judging you for what you choose to do with your body! Let me let you in on a little secret (hold onto your hats, folks) You can have lots of sexual partners and still be an awesome person!! You can choose to abstain from sex and be a wonderful person!! There’s nothing faux pas about sex, it’s natural!! Stop judging people for whether they “do it” or not and focus on more important things like their opinion on the latest Beyonce album or whether or not they like Olive Garden Breadsticks SOMETHING TO KEEP IN MIND “No one is a slut. “Slut” is a made-up word to keep women from having as much fun as men. A person who enjoys sex is just a person and a person who is a virgin is also just a person and everyone should just lay off each other’s sex lives. Retire the word “slut” please.”
“I’m Not Like Other Gi-“ STOP As I’ve gotten further and further into high school I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard girls proclaim ”I’m not like other girls”. Believing that you’re “not like other girls” doesn’t make you a special snowflake, all it does is make you misogynistic. You can’t assume that all girls who enjoy tanning and Hollister and Pretty Little Liars are “all the same” and therefore inferior. All women are different, some of us do ballet, some of us sculpt, some of us are in science club, some of us like musicals, some of us play basketball, the possibilities are endless and who are you or anyone else to decide that your hobbies and interests are more valuable than anyone else’s Femininity is awesome and girls are really awesome too! Girls should feel comfortable expressing themselves in a way that makes them feel happy without having to worry that other girls will think less of them!! Girls are rad as heck and there’s nothing wrong with being “like other girls”. WE CAN
BE PROUD OF BEING LIKE OTHER GIRLS
Often times, girls who post lots of “selfies” are regarded by others as being “attention whores” or self-centered, it’s seen as a very negative thing. Insecurity is also seen as a negative quality by most people, girls who don’t talk much are seen as introverts and sometimes even snobs. Girls are forced to walk this very narrow-line between loving themselves and being unsatisfied with themselves. Love yourself, but not too much, everyone seems to be saying. As teenage girls, we’re all sort of struggling to come to terms with who we are, and there’s no reason to say nasty things about someone else. There’s no reason to make fun of someone making “duckfaces” in pictures, because it’s what makes them feel happy and confident about themselves, as silly as it may seem. The same thing can be said about a girl in a bikini, it’s what makes them feel happy with who they are, and who is anyone to try and tell them that they’re wrong because of it? Rather than judging those who are more or less confident than us, girls need to start supporting one another and helping each other to feel comfortable doing or wearing what makes them happy, and in turn accepting that we don’t all have matching definitions of “happiness”
Why Isn’t It Okay For Men To Wear Women’s Clothing? If you step on any elementary school’s sports field, it’s only a matter of time before you hear kids say to their friends, “You play like a girl!” or “Don’t be such a sissy, you’re crying like a little girl”. It’s often instances like this that serve as children’s first encounters with misogyny. From a very early age, kids begin to equate femininity with weakness, and masculinity with strength. Many people argue that it’s “just kids being kids” and that they don’t really think that girls are weaker than boys, they just like teasing each other. However, it’s not rare to see this type of thinking manifest in the “grown-up-real-world” as well. Masculinity is often associated with the idea of superiority, and so it’s to be expected that women boost their social status within the workplace by wearing men’s clothing. Women who wear men’s clothing are often perceived as being intelligent, independent, and even fashionable. If a man were to wear women’s clothing into the workplace, say a respectable women’s dress-suit (with a professional looking skirt), he would be gawked at and laughed at. The reason this is the case, is because rather than bringing up his social status, he’s subverting it, and moving down a notch. A man wearing women’s clothing would often be perceived as ridiculous, weak, gay, and less intelligent than his fellow male coworkers. As a society, I think we’ve decided that it makes sense that a woman would want to be more like men. We value men so highly, they’re seen as such superior beings, that it’s incredibly hard for people to grasp why on earth a man would ever want to be more like a woman. And that by itself says something about the way our society views women. Some people argue that one of the benefits to being a woman is being able to wear whatever clothes we’d like, especially with growing trends like “boyfriend jeans”. However, the only reason we can do this, is because as women we are expected to desire to hold the status that men have. The reason women can wear clothing designed for both genders is because there is this assumption that men are superior both mentally and physically by birth, and that women should somehow make up for this, and what easier way than with clothing?
HOMOPHOBIA As the Supreme Court began to consider legalizing gay marriage, I found that a huge percentage of my Facebook friends began changing their profile pictures to the red equal sign that has been circulating around the internet. The purpose of changing their profile pictures was to designate to everyone they were friends with, that they are supportive of gay marriage. While it is definitely a step in the right direction, there is a lot more to gay rights than just gay marriage!! For example, the LGBTQ* community is facing a devastating homelessness crisis, as LGBTQ* youth represent 40% of the total homeless population. Issues like this deserve just as much, if not more support from the general population, because if you’re gay and homeless, it doesn’t matter if you have the right to get married, it still doesn’t fix your living situation. Similarly, nearly 30% of all suicides are committed by people within the LGBTQ* community due to bullying and discrimination within their jobs and school. These issues deserve as much support and energy as the whole gay marriage movement, because homophobia starts at a social level, it’s not something led by the government. My problem with the facebook equality sign trend is that many people change their profile picture, pat themselves on the back, and call it a day. In fact many of these people don’t realize that some of the things they do contribute to the oppression of gay people, rather than the liberation of them. One of the most prominent examples being the “gay best friend” phenomenon. Girls will often say things like “Oh my gosh, I’ve always wanted a gay best friend, you know someone to go shopping with and check out cute boys.” These people usually seem to think that they are 100% pro-gay-rights, however they don’t realize that they don’t love gay people, they love the IDEA of gay people. The thing is not all gay men want to go shopping and do stereotypical “feminine things”. What if your “gay best friend” wants to go out and break the stereotype and play football? Will you still want him then? Saying things like “I want a gay best friend” may seem like you’re appreciating and validating gay people, but all you’re doing is objectifying them. Gay people do not have to fit into society’s mold of what a gay person “should be”. THEY’RE PEOPLE TOO. Secondly, I feel like it’s super important to address the huge number of homophobic boys, (not to say that girls can’t be homophobic too, but it seems to be a lot less common among females). Just the other day I had a conversation with a boy from one of my classes, and he goes, “I like your headband,
I would wear it, but I wouldn’t wanna look gay” to which I replied, “You know, there are a lot worse things than being gay.” And he told me, “yeah, like being dead.” The “being dead” part may have been an over exaggeration on his part, however it’s very clear to see that boys are incredibly afraid of perceived as homosexuals. Gay men are seen as weaker than straight men, and often they’re seen as “unmanly”. Some men feel it incredibly important to constantly assert their masculinity and strength, so naturally, being seen as weak or feminine is something these men will try avoid at all costs. As a result, the phrase “No homo” was coined for teenage boys to utter, to assure that no one dares to mistake them as a homosexual. They seem to have forgotten that there are a million worse things a person could be than gay. They could be jealous, or shallow, or vindictive, or cruel; all of these things seem to be okay in boys’ books, just as long as no one thinks they’re gay. On top of this, some boys are under the impression that they are so attractive, that EVERY SINGLE gay man is attracted to them. As a result, they develop this irrational fear of gay men(or men they assume to be gay) because they are terrified that gay men will violate their comfort zones to hit on them. Oddly enough, it’s often these boys that choose to cat-call at women and otherwise harass them, despite having experienced the same sort of discomfort themselves. Homophobic boys tend to be incredibly prejudiced against gay men, but lesbians on the other hand, are a-okay. Lesbians as a whole have been extremely over sexualized by American culture, and that makes it more acceptable in a sense to be a gay woman in this society as opposed to a gay man. (But it’s still super messed up!!) Lesbians are often associated with the porn genre that teenage boys seem to be so fascinated by, and because of this, often enough lesbians will find themselves being objectified and fetishized. The only reason boys tend to be so tolerant of lesbian sexuality, is because they perceive it as being one made for their consumption, and it’s not something that stands to hurt their masculinity. One girl I’ve talked to told me that as soon as one of her male friends found out she was a lesbian, his initial response was “Can I watch?” These are the issues that need work, not just gay marriage. The passing of a bill will not guarantee people within the LGBTQ* community respect from other people. The best thing we can do is check other people, and more importantly ourselves to make sure that we are not contributing to lesbophobia, biphobic, and homophobic attitudes.
TRANSPHOBIA A few months ago, I was in my history class, presenting an article about a transgender girl in the 2nd grade, who is being denied use of the girls’ restroom at her elementary school. While many people sympathized with the poor girl, most of the class seemed confused on the issue, and a few even took a hateful stance saying things like, “you mean IT has a penis but IT wants to use the girls’ restroom?” and muttering transphobic slurs under their breath. All this being said, I think it’s important to explain what being transgender means (keep in mind, it’s all very flexible!! Nothing I say here is 100%! Speaking as a cis-girl I don’t have as much of a grasp on the concept as someone who is transgender themselves) First off, your sex refers to the body parts you were born with, while your gender refers to the sex that you identify with. Some people are born with male parts and identify as a male Some people are born with male parts and identify as a female! AND THAT’S OKAY SEX DOES NOT ALWAYS EQUAL GENDER Gender identity and sexuality are not all black and white, there’s a huge spectrum of preferences and there’s no one preference that’s any better than the others!! One super, SUPER important thing to remember is never to assume gender, ESPECIALLY WITH TRANS* PEOPLE!! Just because someone is born with girl parts, doesn’t mean that they want to be called a “she”, maybe they’d prefer being referred to as a “he” or “they”. (Sometimes trans* people even prefer pronouns like ‘ze’!!) The point is, be flexible, patient and kind with trans* people, because they deserve it. Get to know them, and find out privately what you can do to help them be more comfortable here at school, because if it were you, I’m sure you’d want others to do the same for you!!
CULTURAL APPROPRIATION Cultural Appropriation is when one culture “borrows” a sacred item from another culture and turns it into something ‘hip’ and ‘trendy’ Unfortunately, it tends to be white people and American companies who often cross the line between cultural appreciation and cultural appropriation. Often times, these “appropriations” occur without any real understanding of why the original culture considered these articles to be sacred and significant in the first place. The most prominent example that comes to mind is the Native American headdress, unbeknownst to most middle-class white ‘hipsters’, the headdress was worn by Native American warriors to signify bravery and strength. Because the warriors had to earn feather-by-feather, each as a reward for a heroic act, the headdress quickly became a sacred symbol among tribes. However, thanks to companies like Urban Outfitters, the headdress has been virtually stripped of its meaning, as you can go to just about any indie music fest and watch as wave after wave of people filter in, with their new “exotic” look. Personally, I have a huge problem with the fact that such a large chunk of our nation’s history has been dedicated to both taking land from Native Americans as well as attempting to eradicate their culture through Native American boarding schools and relocation programs like the Trail of Tears. I guess as a white person I feel this tremendous feeling of guilt and second-hand embarrassment for some of the things my country and race have stood for under the guise of ‘The White Man’s Burden’. White people have done enough damage to Native American culture as it is, and out of respect for their people, I feel like it’s not asking too much for people to stop degrading what’s left of it. “But, I just love the way these people lived! It was so simple and beautiful!” Guess what??? Native Americans still exist! And if you really had such a love for their culture and beliefs, you’d understand why wearing oversexualized ‘Indian Girl’ Halloween costumes, as well as Native American Headdresses would be seen as offensive, rather than innocent
fashion statements. In order to really appreciate Native American culture, you have to realize that Native American people do not have to fit into the mold that American culture has built for them. Being Native American isn’t expressly about teepees and dream-catchers, THEY’RE PEOPLE TOO. If you really appreciate the culture so much, you have to acknowledge it as a whole, don’t just pick the pretty parts, like the Aztec prints and the feathers. You have to also acknowledge the struggles that Native Americans are facing, for instance the astronomical suicide and alcoholism rates on reservations, and the poverty crisis that has struck Native American families across the nation I feel like most people who engage in cultural appropriation probably aren’t aware that what they’re doing is offensive, because as far as they’re concerned, it’s just an innocent fashion statement. This sort of mentality is totally understandable, they’re not aware that they’re doing anything wrong!! But that doesn’t make it okay! I think the important thing is to spread awareness about cultural appropriation, so people can understand why it makes other people uncomfortable or even offended. **As a general rule of thumb, I think it’s okay to borrow things from other cultures, as long as it’s not seen as something sacred, and you aren’t misrepresenting or otherwise objectifying the people it was borrowed from.
Women of Color Although I am ¼ Peruvian, I can’t say I identify as a Hispanic woman, because I have enjoyed all the privileges of being white. I’ve been bullied for a great deal of things in my lifetime, but my race has never been one of them. Although I enjoy learning about my culture and I think it’s a really interesting part of who I am, I can say with certainty, that I would be 108% uncomfortable with the idea of ever applying for any Hispanic-based minority scholarships. I possess white privilege!! Everyone who is white has white privilege!! And it’s not our fault for being born white, and it’s not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but as white people we have to acknowledge that we were given certain privileges that POC (people of color) were not. For example, while employers may discriminate against me because I am a woman, they will never discriminate against me because of my skin-tone. Because I am not a woman of color, I can’t empathize with their struggles, but I can sympathize with them. I think people often try to convince themselves that America is this super progressive country that has eradicated all our social issues, especially racism. Unfortunately, racism is alive and thriving. For example, Yolanda Spivey, an unemployed middle-aged African American woman, was applying to get a new job within the insurance industry, an industry she had worked in for over 10 years. She sent out over 300 applications to businesses across the city, and she didn’t get a single call-back. As a result, she decided to go back to college to try and help her chances at getting a job. After furthering her education, she began to reapply, but still got no response. After awhile, Yolanda figured that perhaps it was her race that was hindering her chances to get a job. Rather than marking “African-American” on her job applications, she began to put down the “decline to identify” option. This however, did not help her get a job. Yolanda then decided to try an experiment, she created a job profile using her exact same credentials (only using a different phone number), but instead of stating that she was a Black woman, she said that she was White. “Bianca” began getting job offers the very next day. This just goes to illustrate that whether we are aware of it or not, white people hold privileges that Black people do not. As big as the wage gap is between what men and women get paid, there’s a similar gap between what white women and what women of color get paid. We have to continue fighting for equality for everyone, not just select groups.
NICE GUY SYNDROME I think we’ve all met at least one boy in our time in high school, who identifies as the “nice guy”. “Nice guys” are boys who are kind to girls, not because it’s the right thing to do, but because they want to get something out of them, typically a relationship. Symptoms of Nice Guy Syndrome • Giving girls frequent emotional support (especially when they’re having problems with another boy) • Posting facebook statuses like “all girls are beautiful”, “real girls have curves” or even “I love girls who aren’t afraid to show their natural beauty” • Constant use of misogynistic slurs, and complaining that girls only date jerks • Complains about being “friend-zoned” frequently • Considers themselves “a hero” for not engaging in ‘alpha male’ behavior like hitting women.
The difference between “nice guys” and boys that are genuinely nice, is that boys who are genuinely nice people are kind to others without expecting attention or anything else in return. “Nice guys” on the other hand, thrive on all the attention they get from girls when they say things like “All women are beautiful” and it becomes less and less about making other people feel good, and more about validating the ‘nice guy’s’ ego. This sort of thinking begins to manifest on itself and “nice guys” begin to expect relationships in exchange for their kindness. The truth is, boys should be nice to girls (and vice-versa!!) because it’s the right thing to do, not because they’re trying to gain something from it. In a ‘nice guy’s’ mind, friendship with a woman is seen as a failure, rather than something to enjoy and celebrate. Often times, the only relationships these types of boys see as valuable are relationships involving dating or sex. “Nice guy” mentality basically implies that showing enough kindness to a woman somehow makes her obligated to date them. guess what???? GIRLS DON’T OWE BOYS ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY BOYS WHO USE KINDNESS TO TRY AND MANIPULATE US
No, I Won’t Fucking Smile For You Street Harassment is any form of verbal disrespect towards people in public places, whether it be a shallow compliment like, “Nice legs, sweetheart”, whistling, or even sexually explicit commands. Often, verbal harassment can manifest into physical assault that involves things like groping and flashing Street harassment is extremely misogynistic in nature, it often comes from the assumption that if a woman is wearing revealing clothing, she’s CLEARLY asking to be whistled at, or otherwise made uncomfortable. The reality of the situation is that women’s bodies are not public property for others to comment on as they see fit. Consent to wearing a tight dress does not equal consent to being publically humiliated and demoralized. Men need to realize that women are not seeking validation from them, and that their so-called “compliments” can be perceived as rude, annoying, or sometimes even threatening. So please, please PLEASE stop telling us to “smile, pretty girl”, stop whistling at us when we talk by, and stop assuming that women are objects that exist for your viewing pleasure. Cat-calling at women serves to further normalize the idea that our worth as people is based purely on how attractive we are to other people. Believe it or not, our levels of self-confidence are not based entirely on how strangers rate our looks on a scale from 1 to 10. Some boy telling me I have a “hot ass” does nothing for my self-confidence, all it does is make me want to hiss in their general direction, and then go hide, because I’ve found that there is nothing more dehumanizing than being publically objectified. To clarify, I do not dress for random men I pass on the street, I do not put on makeup for the boy sitting across the room, I do not exist for them, or anyone else, I exist for me. And to be frank, if you want to flatter me (and many other girls as well) compliment my brain, my thoughts, my ideas. Tell me I write nice poetry or something, compliment ME, not my body.
RAPE CULTURE Rape culture is a concept used to describe attitudes that excuse, tolerate, and justify rape. Unfortunately, rape culture is something that seems to dominate the media, and social attitudes today. For example, in Ohio, two high school football players, Ma'lik Richmond and Trent Mays raped a sixteen year old girl who had passed out drunk at a party. They proceeded to tweet about the incident, as well as post half-naked pictures of the victim online. They even posted a video online bragging about raping the victim while everyone was still at the party. They said things like, “It isn’t really rape because you don’t know if she wanted to or not” and “They raped her harder than that cop raped Marcellus Wallace in Pulp Fiction.” At one point, a boy at the party began to get uncomfortable and asked one of the rapists, “what if it was your daughter?” to which Trent replies, “But it isn’t.” These boys were 100% aware that they raped their victim, and further more, they were proud of it. After all this evidence was revealed, the coaches still backed the students, and refused to even bench the two rapists. It wasn’t until March 2013 that these boys received their “moment of justice”, the two were sentenced to a mere three years in jail between the two of them (Mind you, higher sentences are given for drug possession than raping another human being). When CNN reported on the incident, not a single word was said about the victim. Rather, the reporters chose to sympathize with the rapists, saying how terrible it was that their futures were ruined, and wondering how these “poor boys” would be able to return to their normal lives. In fact, one reporter was quoted saying,
“There’s always that moment of just — lives are destroyed, but in terms of what happens now, the most severe thing is being labeled as registered sex offenders. That label is now placed on them by Ohio law. That will haunt them for the rest of their lives.” The worst part of this crime is not that the boys will be labeled as sex offenders, that’s a label they earned. The worst part of this crime is that there is a sixteen year old girl who will forever carry the memory of having been raped.
“Well, maybe she shouldn’t have been drinking if she didn’t want to get raped” First off, the victim was not the only one who was drunk, her rapists were as well. However, fortunately for these boys, they could’ve passed out at a party and not have to worry about getting raped. People can drink all they want, but if there aren’t rapists to rape them, they’ll never get raped. The problem isn’t drinking, the problem is rapists. Consent to drinking is not the same thing as consent to sex, and many people can’t see the line between the two. “Well, the way she was dressed, she was asking for it.” NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO GIRLS IN SHORT SKIRTS DON’T WANT TO BE RAPED GIRLS IN JEANS DON’T WANT TO BE RAPED GIRLS DON’T WANT TO BE RAPED NO ONE WANTS TO BE RAPED WOMEN’S BODIES ARE NOT PUBLIC PROPERTY AND WEARING REVEALING CLOTHING DOES NOT MEAN “YES” ONLY YES MEANS YES (and the fact that there are still people who still don’t understand this makes me crawl out of my skin) All these thriving. your time our women rape.
things just go to show that rape culture is alive and Rather than trying to justify rapists’ actions, spend sympathizing with the victim. Rather than teaching not to get raped, we need to be teaching men not to
(We need to teach people that rape doesn’t always involve kidnapping and jumping out of vans, often enough it’s misunderstanding that “maybe later” doesn’t mean “yes”. It’s thinking that asking repeatedly until she finally gives in, constitutes as a “yes”)
**Mind you, I’m generalizing when I say that women are generally raped by men. Women rape women, and women rape men, and men rape men, however it’s most common for men to rape women. I promise I am in no way trying to invalidate male rape survivors experiences.
Conclusion First off, I’d like to congratulate you for reading this far into my zine, as I realize a lot of these topics can be a bit depressing to read about, however I think that if everyone took the time to educate themselves on the world and people around them, not only would it change their perspective, but they’re bound to be a lot nicer to other people as well. Secondly, I’d like to tell you congrats on completing this crash course on feminism. All these issues from rape culture to slut shaming to transphobia all tie into what feminism is all about. It’s not about “man-hating” and bra burning, it’s about giving sympathy to rape victims, and telling women they can wear whatever they want. It’s not about not shaving, it’s about making sure women have choices, just like men do. We’re not trying to bring men down, we’re trying to break the system that allows for women to get judged based on what they choose to do with their own bodies, and there’s a big difference between the two. Although there are always going to be feminists who are out of line (in the sense that their feminism is not intersectional) here and there, overall feminism stands for kindness, fairness, and overall liberation for women, and that’s pretty rad. It’s okay to be angry, because these issues are worth getting angry about, don’t let anyone else tell you how to feel about them. The point of feminism is that girls should do what makes them happy, because at the end of the day, isn’t that what really matters? A lot of things I’m writing about in this zine can be applied to everyone, not just females! However important issues like rape culture and slut-shaming are much more of an issue for women than they are for men, as a result of the misogyny ingrained into our culture. The purpose of this zine is not to dismiss men’s problems, but to highlight women’s issues, because they deserve to be taken seriously. So after having read this zine, please do what you can to make things easier for other people, be considerate of other people’s points of view, and just be kind to your fellow humans, yo. If you’d like to get in touch with me, whether it be to talk about cute animals, or if you find something I’ve written to be problematic, you can send me a text at (336) 441-5844!!