On The Day

Entering a strange building can be a great source of anxiety but, remember, the majority of people who are attending will also be unfamiliar with their surroundings. There is a strong likelihood that the organisers will have placed something - or someone - in the entrance area to direct you.

If there is a reception area, ask to be directed to the <name of event>. Otherwise, look for signs or directions.

Usually there will be some time before the event begins to get a drink and meet some of the other attendees. Commit to leaping that first hurdle of meeting some people now and you will enjoy the rest of your day that much more.

Meeting People

Guaranteed, there will be at least one attendee who is extremely gregarious and will talk to every single person there. If they take the opportunity to talk to you when you arrive, then be grateful for the fact that they’ve made the start of your day that much easier.

Otherwise, you’re going to have to take the initiative.

If you’re especially nervous, arrive at the venue as early as possible. If you’re the first to arrive, then just introduce yourself to the next person along. If there are one or two people who are there before you, then you have a simple choice of who to go and speak to. The fewer people there are in the room when you arrive, the less intimidated you will feel.

If the venue is already quite full when you get there – don’t panic.

If it’s available, get a drink and familiarise yourself with the environment. Then decide who you are going to talk to. Any of the following options will do just fine.

1) Look for a person sitting alone, anxiously sipping at their drink. Congratulations, you’ve just found someone who is more anxious than you are. You cannot begin to imagine how grateful they will be to the person who walks over, introduces themselves and then sits down. Under those conditions, there is no reason why you should feel intimidated.

2) Look for a group of three or more people with little or no conversation (two people alone may be deep in discussion but you should be able to get a sense if the conversation is casual).

Walk over and say, ‘You don’t mind if I join you, do you?’. One of the group will quickly indicate that this is ok and this is your cue to introduce yourself to the group and shake some hands.

Try and quell your nerves sufficiently to pay attention and remember their names (some events will provide everyone with name tags).

3) Look for a group of three or more people having an enthusiastic discussion.

Depending on the circumstances, you can either ask if it’s ok to sit down (as above), or simply sit quietly and listen to the conversation.

Once you have a handle on what the conversation is about, look for an opportunity to join in. If you can’t think of anything interesting to contribute then identify the person who is speaking the most and, at a suitable juncture in the conversation, ask a relevant question. The chatterbox will be thrilled at the opportunity to talk some more and will likely be flattered that you’re interested in their opinion.

If an opportunity to introduce yourself to the group as a whole (or, perhaps, just the person you’re sitting next to) presents itself – take it.

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Widen Out

To make the event worthwhile, you need to speak to as many people as possible.

If you find someone you feel comfortable chatting to early on, don’t fall into the trap of focussing on that individual for the rest of the day. By all means cultivate that friendship as it could easily develop into a valuable business relationship, but force yourself to meet other people as well.

When you move from the refreshment area to the main venue, or from the main venue to the lunch room, make a point of sitting next to someone you haven’t spoken to yet.

Conversation

This is the stumbling block for most people. The age of text messages, emails, forums and chat rooms has killed the art of conversation and the fear of awkward silences is common.

Here are a few tips for starting and maintaining a conversation.

Talking to someone you don’t know should, in theory, be the easiest kind of conversation. Since you know virtually nothing about the person, then there is an abundance of things you can ask about.

The mistake a lot of people make is thinking that conversation means that you have to be able to say interesting things. In reality, the best conversationalist is the one that takes a genuine interest in other people.

After introducing yourself, simply ask a few questions designed to get the other person talking. As long as your questions are friendly and genuine (not an interrogation), most people will be pleased that someone is interested in what they have to say.

For example:

 Whereabouts are you from?

 Have you had far to travel?

 Have you attended this event before?

 What kind of business/website do you have (key question)?

 What made you decide to attend?

 Which speaker are you most looking forward to?

Once you’ve got someone talking, listen carefully to what they have to say and look for areas of common interest to expand the conversation. For example, if you are both working on building your mailing list, this is a good area to explore and about which to share ideas.

When people ask you about your business, figure out a way to condense a description into 15-30 seconds. Practice it on someone who doesn’t know about your business to make sure it is understandable.

If the person is interested in what you do, they will ask questions; otherwise avoid the temptation to go on and on (unless you want to be labelled as a bore).

Save discussion about YOUR business for someone who is asking about it. The person who asks you questions is GENUINELY interested in what you do.

Otherwise you are far better using your time to find out what other people are doing to see if there is some of kind mutual interest or direction.

Even better, if there is something you can offer (as a favour, this is not the place for practicing your sales pitch) that will help them get to where they want to be, then this is a great opportunity to make a friend.

When you do a favour for someone - no matter how small - the person will likely be open to returning that favour (ie – perhaps accepting a JV request), weeks or even months later.

Offering to help others at this juncture, is far more effective than asking for a favour within minutes of meeting someone.