Addiction February 2009 Verdadera is a publication created by and for Monta Vista teens for the purpose of instigating communication concerning the 'real world' of high school within the community. Each month, an issue on a topic relevant to the lives of our students is sent home for reading by parents and students alike. We encourage you to discuss and explore the issues and stories, as the publication aims not only to offer an outlet for expression but to improve our lives. Keep in mind that the emotions that flow through the text and the feelings behind the words could be those of your child, your classmate, or your best friend. While we do not edit submissions, we aim to publish personal experiences, not opinion articles. Please utilize all the resources present in the publication and feel free to email comments and feedback. The Verdadera staff thanks you for your interest and support. This issue includes stories about the wide variety of addictions that students deal with and how they affect their lives.
Student Submissions I have had several experiences with addiction, and I have seen both sides of the coin that is alcoholism. My father was an alcoholic, and it was this that drove him and my mother to divorce when I was three years old. My only real memories of my father were sporadic visits and his spiteful talk of my mother, which always made me uncomfortable. When I was only eleven I decided to sever ties with him, after he called me three days late to wish me a happy birthday, and then informed me that he had another family in Australia. I promptly decided that I would not need him any longer, and not much changed, seeing as he had only
been in my life for random bursts over the years. A few years later, my mother brought a new man home, and I was reluctant at first, but I became best friends with him. They dated for months, and when he told me of his plans to propose, my thirteenyearold self responded, “About damn time.” The man became my new father, and it was not until freshman year that I learned that he had been an alcoholic. I found an AA coin in the ashtray of his car, and he told me the story. Despite his addiction, he had become a great man, and I respect him as if he was my biological father.
A man who succumbed to addiction destroyed my family, but one who defeated it made us whole again. ____________________________________ “All sins tend to be addictive, and the terminal point of addiction is damnation.” ~W.H. Auden ____________________________________ Coffee is the best thing God created, particularly white chocolate mocha coffee from Satura Cakes. I have to have it every single day or I’ll be really crabby and probably swear, complain, and just be a plain old beotch. Let me describe to you this coffee I speak of. It has a frothy layer of creamy whipped cream, often swirled to resemble a leaf or heart. When I look at these shapes, it seems to come to life, it seems to call me to drink it, to sip of its creamy delectable goodness. When I do take that wonderful first sip, I get lost in my own coffee heaven, the flavor slowly melting in my mouth, my tastes buds screaming with excitement. I could go on and on and on, describing this amazing process but you have to try it yourself to really know what’s going on. I first discovered the best thing that has ever happened to me a few months back. Since then, it has been downhill for my bank account ever since. But with wonderful things, come great sacrifice, and I could not imagine my life without having made that jump. Ever since coffee came into my life, the people around me can testify that I’ve never been in love with a nonliving thing as much as I’m utterly devoted to coffee. I mean, just the word “coffee” is amazing. Say it with me. Coffeee. It’s cute, but concise. Dreamy, but not overwhelming. You know how people lie awake at night, thinking about that special someone? Well, I lie
awake, dreaming about the smell, taste, and feel of the result of processed cacao beans. I can almost smell the moment when I can finally get my hands on that orange, heavenly, beautiful coffee cup, and my taste buds can finally have what they have been waiting a whole 24 hours for. If you’re reading this, I don’t know what you’re still doing reading this. Hurry up and go get yourself some Satura coffee!!! Let me tell you a secret: you haven’t really lived life until you’ve tried it. "Just ‘cause you got the monkey off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.” ~George Carlin ____________________________________ I am not addicted to drugs. Or alcohol. Or any thing illegal. Instead, I am addicted to some thing much more tangible and relatable in na ture: overachieving. As outrageous as this sounds, it's true. Overachieving can become a disease. At the beginning of a freshman year, I was swept away by the perceived mentality of our school. Pressure, Pressure, Pressure, no matter what it takes you gotta be better than the person sitting next to you. If you're not, the end result is simple: you will not get into college. I am sure you have heard this mindset from many. Well, I took it to heart. My every action was governed by what I thought would get me into the best college. I was an athlete, musician, leader, humanitarian, and of course a 4.0 honor student. On top this, add the rest of my actual interests and classes that took up the rest of my schedule. Yes, I did it all. But this year it all fell apart. Eventually, I came to realize that I can't do it all. The coursework was overwhelm ing and my social life completely disappeared. Then, my grades started going down. Of course, now my parents weren't happy and nei
ther was I. There was so much stuff I wanted to do and then so much more that I felt that I had to do that there really wasn't enough hours in a day to accomplish it all. The problem was I was so used to doing everything and being so widespread I didn't know how to stop. The cy cle was neverending. Thankfully, I got myself out of the quicksand or partway at least. Now, the semester is over and my grades are still not quite what I wanted and there are still a million things to do. However, I have come to the realization that is ok to pass some opportunities by, and to not be a part of 10 or 12 clubs at a time. I condensed my activities am a bit happier. I have tackled my inner beast put him on a leash. Too much of any one thing can be bad. However, in small amounts this tendency has pushed me to be the best that I can be. No more, no less. Just me.
“Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism." ~Carl Gustav Jung ____________________________________ Addictions are weird. I think I'm addicted to lying. Which sounds stupid because it doesn't seem to be a real addiction. Any person should be able to stop when they want to shouldn't they? But for some reason I just can't. I lie so much that now I do it subconsciously. Sometimes I fool even myself sometimes, how messed up is that? I lie small, big. Sometimes just to make myself feel special or normal, I make up stories about myself. It's a wall around myself that I have to feed constantly, I don't think there's anyone in this world that truly knows me. Each lie I tell the wall gets bigger, and the bigger it gets the harder it is for anyone else to break through to me. It seems like it's up to me. And I just don't know what the hell is going on enough to be able to stop. You probably think it's stupid. It's not a real addiction so why the hell is this bz talking
about it. I just don't know now. I don't even know if I can help myself. Do I even know myself? Who am I
“"I wanted to write about the moment when your addictions no longer hide the truth from you. When your whole life breaks down. That's the moment when you have to somehow choose what your life is going to be about." ~Chuck Palahniuk ____________________________________ Alright, alright, I'm a Twilight addict. Well, more like a complete Twilight nut case, and my friends even go as far as to say that Twilight is my "weed". Quite frankly, that's offensive to me because I'm all about "just say no" to drugs and alcohol, but I guess they are right in a sense. Ever since the 9th grade, I've been a huge fan of the Twilight series. There is something about Edward Cullen and his ridiculous perfection that makes my insides warm even if I'm just reading about him. Since Breaking Dawn, the last book of the series has come out, I've read the Twilight series religiously, especially this winter break. With nothing to do at home, I just wake up in the morning, eat, watch tv, go on the computer, eat, and read Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or Breaking Dawn until 2 AM. The hardest part of it all is the fact that I just can't seem to quit! "Addiction is a symptom of not growing up. I know people think it's a disease... If you have a brain tumor, if you have cancer, that's a disease. To say that an addiction is a disease is not fair to the real diseases of the world." ~C.C Deville ____________________________________ Chocolate is when I'm at my weakest. I can't NOT eat chocolate if its within my sight and nose. I love chocolate. I'm addicted to it. I love
to eat other sweets, but chocolate is number one. It may seem silly that I'm using the word "addicted" to describe my love for it, but there really is no other word. Food is a form of drugs and it's hard to go on diets just like it's hard to quit smoking or crack. With all the eating holidays packed into 3 months, I have to say, it's not easy to stop the sugar intake. Ultimately a bazillion pounds have been put on and chocolate is still my best friend. I just can't get enough of it. But like drugs it has the same after effects. You feel good when you eat it, but then you feel like crap after gorging on it. No matter what I'm still drawn towards it. I think psychologically it's a natural sort of drug. I just don't know how to stop eating chocolate or sweets before it's too late and I've developed type two diabetes and have become obese. "Why is it drug addicts and computer aficionados are both called users?” ~Clifford Stoll ____________________________________ I don't believe that I have grown up in a household like the ones on TV—stereotypical mom and dad and brothers/sisters whatever that all love each other, give each other hugs, say I love you etc etc. So going into my first "real relationship" was weird. I wasn't addicted per say to him because I didn't grow up with that kind of affection. Sure I'm an affectionate person, touchy feely whatever but for some reason with him it was just thoughts of "What if I'm doing this wrong?", "What if blahblahblah". All these insecurities that I had were stemmed from the emotional neglect I had growing up. Even though I feel that I am socially acceptable emotionally and whatnot… going into the relationship was another story. I started neglected him –our relationship went on though…I was the oblivious highschooler etc. but a little over a year later he started questioning if he should really be with me if I was going to be like that. Ironically…it took
him breaking up with me and that whole ordeal for me to grow up and realize that whatever neglect that I grew up with shouldn't define me but I should define myself and how I feel on my own terms. However now I am "addicted" to him. It is bizarre, before I wouldn't really care if he was online to talk to me or I would just not put him as "priority" but now it's "Where's he?", "What's he doing?", "He didn't pick up/respond to a text!" the tragic high school life story. It's the holiday break now and I haven't seen him in almost 2 weeks and for the first 3 days I couldn't really handle it. I joke around with him saying that I'm having "withdrawal" but sad part is, it's kind of true. I couldn't sleep because I was paranoid and then he would call...we would talk for a few hours and when he would want to leave I would be clingy—that disgusting word that I hated now was put on myself. It makes me think how college will be when we do break up…because he's going to stay and I'm (hopefully) going to a UC. . I can't believe that I'm addicted to a person…being with a person...like maybe this is what love is, but then that would be…weird. ____________________________________ "For many, negative thinking is a habit, which over time, becomes an addiction... A lot of people suffer from this disease because negative thinking is addictive to each of the Big Three the mind, the body, and the emotions. If one doesn't get you, the others are waiting in the wings." ~Peter McWilliams ____________________________________ I say that I don't want any. I know I do. It is like something that you hate more than anything. Something that crawls inside you. It eats you from the inside. But you want it. You need it. Because only it can fill the hole that it creates every time I give in. I choose not to think about it. I avoid it, and the problem goes away. For a little while. I know, I know. But it helps. Until I need it
again, and I can't avoid it. Then I just cave, and you know. I don't share it. Nope, not with friends. Maybe I don't want them to suffer like I do. I am happy most of the time. No one really knows what I did. People don't care. I can be normal if I try. I can keep it down for a while. Outside I am normal. What bothers me the most is how I like it. I need it. Damn. I need it so bad. It is my friend and my enemy. It is so easy to just let it get me. I dont really want to fight it. But then afterwards, I feel so bad for doing it, and I get right back to where I started. And I ignore it until next time. Maybe I can make it stop. Maybe not. Maybe it will last. Maybe not. Maybe noone will notice, maybe I'll get busted. I just need it so bad.
morning feeling bad about my self and looking instantly fatter in the mirror. I am too afraid to purge because my mother would know in a minute. She is always hounding and nagging me. A real healicoptor type. I want to stop eating and I want to be happy in my own skin one of these days. I hope that happens before I am old as my mother who is 46. As I drive in the car I stare out the window and think about working on my self esteem just as a Chipotle truck drives by that says,” Look Mommy the Burrito truck”.
"I know from my recovery in all areas of addiction that humor is a tremendously, tremendously important antidote to recovery.” Eric Schaeffer ____________________________________
Her addiction she’s addicted, to her own mistakes. She’s addicted, to hurting, her mother, father sister brother. mirrors show nothing, But the shattered past. I’m ghostless, Yet haunted. Resentless and resentful. So go on. With that disease you have That illness The excuse Go on breaking more mirrors In 7 years.
Addiction is no laughing matter. For that matter neither are body image issues. Well I have managed to combine both. I was very chubby as a baby, toddler, and an elementary school student. Even though I am now considered “average” I still always see a fat girl in the mirror. My addiction is to both food and dieting. I am obsessed with being on a diet while at the same time obsessed with chips and salsa! At Chevy’s last week I finally accepted my plight. Our waitress had on a pin that stated it perfectly “Chip Addict”. I am not minimizing the agony and disease of addiction….I am merely letting everyone know that there are varying degrees of addiction. I binge at Chevy’s, I binge at Chipotle and binge on bags of chips at home. Then I wake up the next
"There are more television addicts, more baseball and football addicts, more movie addicts, and certainly more alcohol addicts in this country than there are narcotics addicts." ~Shirley Chisholm ____________________________________
Maybe I’ll be gone.
"Addiction should never be treated as a crime. It has to be treated as a health problem. We do not send alcoholics to jail in this country. Over 500,000 people are in our jails who are nonviolent drug users." ~Ralph Nader ____________________________________ We as kids were always taught to never be un der the influence or to just let those “bad friends” go. We would usually say okay mom thats enough I promise never to do drugs. Looking back to elementary school when ev eryone never drank or was addicted to pot and it seemed like the world was perfect. The only people that would do that stuff, were those in my 4th grade language “stupid dummies” that couldn't think for themselves. Before going to MV I always though of high school was where people went to hangout and get an education. hmmmm let me rethink that thought now. You see I've lost so many countless friends to drugs and alcohol and drugs its unbelievable. The people I sat in a classroom with in 7th grade were the innocent children who were such goody goods it was very intimidating. However now most of them get drunk and take drugs on a daily basis! Its horrible. They are literally ru ining their lives and they can't even stop it when they have the desire to. They are addict ed! The power of addiction is truly powerful. I have lost too many friends to addiction but somehow I still manage to live life with no ad dictions, just a bit of everything.
""Laughter is the best medicine. I know from my recovery in all areas of addiction that humor is a tremendously, tremendously important antidote to recovery." ~Eric Schaeffer ____________________________________
For awhile in my life, I had an addiction for three Disney stars…called The Jonas Brothers. I'm in high school, their manufactured by Dis ney to be powerpopteenybopper craziness, but I still gawked. I looked up their bios and facts about their life. I was obsessed. Come on, they are gorgeous, famous, and talented…but my addiction to knowing their day to day doings (by searching online for the best jb sites etc. etc.) was not only based on their looks, but also their model life. They are Christians, well be haved teens, and they wear purity rings! I don't know how it happened but they just inspired me and made me want to be a better person.
Nothing is more singular about this generation than its addiction to music.” ~Allan Bloom ____________________________________ Oh, why must I enjoy sleep so much? Sometimes I would just lie in bed for half an hour just wasting away the time. Or sometimes I plan to wake up at 9:00 to get things done, but I always end up simply sleeping in ‘til 11:00. I’m not sure if it’s an addiction, but I know I’m obsessed with it. In the mornings before school, I always wake up and lie in bed until around 7:20, when I seriously have to get up and go to school. I always arrive with a sliver of less than a minute till the 7:35 bell rings. My teacher even takes off points if I’m late, yet I still stand next to the cliff of tardiness. "You do anything long enough to escape the habit of living until the escape becomes the habit." ~David Ryan ____________________________________ I am addicted to facebook. Everytime I go home, I must go on Facebook or I’ll keep on thinking and thinking and thinking about it. I don’t find Facebook particularly fun,
enlightening, or a good use of one’s time, but I just HAVE to go on it. I think that pretty much spells out addicted. I started probably a few years ago, and it’s been an offon, lovehate relationship ever since. When I go on it, I often go on for a few hours, several times a day, commenting on other peoples’ statuses, writing on walls (an absolute MUST), commenting on pictures, uploading pictures ( I have at least 70 albums full of pics, tags, and comments), changing profile pictures, joining groups, drawing graffiti, etc. The list could go on for ages. I think it’s pretty obvious that it has CONSUMED my life. But you have to have it if you want to stay “connected” (which is basically everyone’s “excuse” for going on facebook). I guess I could stay connected through other things, such as email, phone, or other means of communication. But I feel like this is an addiction I can conquer, that I can limit my time and I can tell myself to stop going on facebook so much because I have become such a facebook freak. I feel like I can stop being so addicted if I just execute selfdiscipline and selfrestraint. But I can’t. And so the cycle goes on and on. First, I tell myself I can stop the addiction, then I come home, go on facebook, feel bad about going on facebook, cancel my account, live life for a few sweet weeks, consider going back to facebook because I think I will be able to be more selfdisciplined this time, reactivate my account, become addicted again despite my struggle not to, and start the cycle over. It’s like a drug, but almost every teenager does it.
“A moderate addiction to money may not always be hurtful; but when taken in excess it is nearly always bad for the health.” ~Clarence Day ____________________________________
All of my friends drink... and I'm okay with that. They're pretty responsible, always having a designated driver who has enough room to make sure everyone has a ride to wherever they need to be. They know their limits and don't really get drunk just to be drunk – it's just a hobby, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But I don't drink because I've seen what alcohol can do to a person when they are addicted to it. My friends aren't addicted to it which is why I don't really care. But alcohol addiction is something I'm still terrified of to this day. When I was five, my parents started to fight a lot. I never understood why and I tried to stay out of it, just like my parents tried to keep it hushhush around me. But when it got worse, they just couldn't hide it anymore. I would lie awake in my bed each night and listen as my mom stomped through the front doors late at night and instantly begin fighting with my father. She didn't sound like the loving mother who took care of me when I came home from school and I felt like it couldn't be her that was being so mean and saying things to my dad that I'm sure were mean. It continued for two years until I was seven and my parents finally got divorced. I stayed with my dad while my mom took off to live in Los Angeles and even though she's miles away from us, she manages to disrupt our lives just as much as she did when she lived here. Whenever I talk to her, I ask her how she is – how her job is, how her house is, all that stuff. And she always beats around the bush because she thinks I'm stupid but I'm not. I know that alcohol is still her entire life and she lives in a sh*tty apartment and can barely pay rent because she's too busy getting too drunk to f*cking care about anything or anyone but herself. It makes me sick. Why does she have the right to ruin my life by something she chose to do? I know it still hurts my dad. He tells me that he still loves her, so I guess it hurts to see her like that for him. But I don't really care about her, so I guess that's why I seem apathetic most of the time. When it comes down to it, we're so much better
off without her and the chaos she causes. She's my mom and I guess I love her and I want the best for her but until she makes it a priority for herself to get the help that she refused from my dad and my family, I really could care less. "It is not I who become addicted, it is my body." ~Jean Cocteau ____________________________________ I suppose I could be considered addicted to the computer. I’m on the computer all the time. I would be on the computer from when I got home, to when it was time to sleep. I even skipped out on some homework just to be on the computer. I know I have a real problem, and even though my grades weren’t bad, I know they could have been better if I just got my self off the computer and did some homework. My addiction stems from my hatred towards homework, where I do something else to avoid homework. Next semester, I really to kick the habit and do my homework so I wont have time for homework, but studying for SATs and extracurricular stuff. May this letter be a serious reminder to myself to take action next semester. ____________________________________ Addiction. It can be anything. Food, schoolwork, love, hatred, alcohol—addiction can come in any shape or form, good and bad. At the beginning of this school year, I had an addiction to doing schoolwork. I would hole myself up in my room and work for hours on end—three, four, five hours would pass without me knowing. I found this satisfaction in doing my schoolwork, and studying, as a matter of fact. I would go about doing assignment after assignment, feeling satisfied after I completed something. I would feel as if I were on the top of the world at the end of the day. Then, I would go about it again and redo it day after day.
However, I realized (with quite a bit of help) that there are some things in life that are not meant to be addictive. Take schoolwork. It should not be something you enjoy in life and spend every waking moment doing. It can be fun, yes, but it should not be your life. With some help, I slowly began to realize this. I even began to realize schoolwork is a great way to bond with friends. By sitting sidebyside and working on an assignment or just talking over the material being covered on that Biology quiz the next day; you and a friend are able to see into each other more. Before, schoolwork was and addiction for me. Now, it still may be an addiction—because addictions never really disappear—but I find joy in other things too. Being addicted to something does not mean the rest of your life has to end. Being addicted to something does not mean that there is no room for anything else. I still love doing my schoolwork but I have found another type of love in my life. My hero—you know who you are—saved me from the tornado of junior year. Before this year, my addiction was schoolwork. Now my addiction is still schoolwork, but I have seen the "bright side of life". I guess addictions do shelter you from the real world, from the rest of life. Thank you for opening up my eyes to what the world beholds. Additions do not have to hinder you from what the rest of the world beholds. Go ahead and have that addiction. But be sure to open your eyes once in awhile to see what else the world has to offer. Be sure to look out that window and see that there is a blank canvas out there waiting for you to paint on. Look out for guidance; let that addiction be the driving force of your life, not the one holding you back. "If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a "fix" of
something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than cocaine." ~Rob Stampfli ____________________________________ When people think about addiction, they usual ly assume it's got something to do with drugs or alcohol but that isn't really my case. Over the past few years, I've noticed that my hobby has become an addiction that I feel is harming my life. I started playing video games when I was in the 5th grade – with all the new consoles and stuff, I was just so into it like everyone else I knew. My friends would come over constantly and we'd play on my Sega or whatever. As we got older, they grew out of playing every day especially since we all got busy. But for me, I never really lost that passion for playing. I come home each day and instead of doing my chem homework, I'll play Halo. It makes me happy. I'll play fo at least six hours before I eat dinner and then finally start my homework. On Friday nights my friends will call me to hang out and I don't feel like it because I always want to play instead and when I suggest they come over to play, they just say that they want to do something different. I want to hang out with them – and that's the thing... I don't know how to quit my addiction even though I really want to. I regret all the fun times they talk about that I had no part in, but I also love my video games to death. It may sound really stupid but it's not because it's a huge issue for me and I really just don't know what to do. ____________________________________ ”It is not heroin or cocaine that makes one an addict, it is the need to escape from a harsh reality.” ~ Shirley Chisholm ____________________________________
I have a friend who always needs reassurance. She gets 100 percents on almost all of her math and chem tests, and after every test she says something along the lines of "oh, I know I messed up on number 10, ugh..." and my friends and I tell her "no, you did fine, we messed up" as we do each and every time, and she says "nah, i failed, you guys are so much smarter, you don't even need to bother" So guess what? She gets the 100 and we get the 90s, 80s, and 70s. Okay, seriously. I know that there are a LOT of people who do this type of thing at MV as a form of bragging and rubbing it in peoples faces. But I think that it's progressed further in her. She started off like this, where even though she's good at math, chem, lit, and all her sub jects, she just wanted to see what everybody else got. But even then, she just HAD to know for a fact that she was the best. She just HAD to be the top AND let everybody else know it. And even though it bothers me, it makes me wonder, what happened to her that she NEEDS reassurance so much? What happened to her that she puts herself down SOOO much, in or der to dig out and find her peers' conclusions that she is, in fact, pretty smart and good at things? Your peer's conclusions are that you are smart. But now they are also that you are annoying, a bragger, and that by searching for reassurance and guarantees about your skills, which exist, you are putting the rest of us down and tearing apart our selfesteem. Your need for compliments all the time is hurt ing us too, and our friendship. So please please please, stop.
Professional Page Janet Jacobi, Marriage and Family Therapist 20395 Pacifica Drive, Suite 101 (408) 9967575 Addiction is the repeated, compulsive use of a substance that continues even though the addict is experiencing bad consequences. In Choices and Consequences (1996), Dick Schaefer and Pamela Espeland refer to the addictive process as having four levels: Use, Misuse, Abuse and Addiction. Consider the following vignettes about Amy and her road to addiction: Amy is a freshman at a local high school. She lives at home with her parents and two brothers. Amy gets fairly good grades, but likes to have fun on the weekends with her friends. This Saturday she was at a party where alcohol was being served. She decided that she would try a beer and it turned into two. Then she decided to stop and drank soda for the rest of the night. Amy got home safely, went to sleep and woke the next morning with a bad headache. This vignette represents the first level that Schaefer and Espeland refer to as “Use.” Amy used alcohol experimentally without her parents’ knowledge and had minimal social consequences (felt a bit buzzed) and minimal personal consequences (headache). She was able to control her drinking and make a conscious decision to stop at two drinks. Also fitting into this category would be teens using alcohol in acceptable ways (e.g., family setting for Shabbat, medication for tooth pain). Chemicals of choice at this stage are usually beer, wine, over the counter medications and glues/solvents. Recently, Amy’s grades have started to decline and she has missed classes and homework assignments. She has started lying to her mom about where she goes on the weekends, often saying that she is
sleeping at her best friend’s house. Amy’s parents have noticed that she’s been quite moody lately and that she has been doing fewer chores around the house. Amy is partying every weekend with her new friends, smoking pot and drinking liquor. She feels pressure from these friends to use and wants to impress them. She tries to make rules for herself (e.g., I’ll only have 3 shots), but doesn’t always follow them. That night she has trouble sleeping and the next morning she has a bad hangover, and skips the family activities planned. She wonders when she will use next. Schaefer and Espeland refer to this second level as “Misuse.” Amy still has control and choice, but begins to develop a pattern of use (every weekend) and a moodiness that wasn’t there before. She has started to make up reasons to use such as to impress friends. Chemicals of choice may be alcohol (including hard liquor), marijuana, hallucinogens and cocaine. There are now a number of social consequences. Amy is breaking the law and may get arrested. Her schoolwork and grades are slipping and she doesn’t always make it to class. Amy lies to her parents about where she will be and is less responsible at home. She seems to feel significant peer pressure to use. There are personal consequences as well. Amy experienced a hangover and had to cancel the next day’s activities with her family. She is already thinking about her next use. Amy’s grades continue to decline and a meeting has been setup to discuss her failing grades and many absences. She now gets high with her friends after school each day on the way home and then sometimes again when she gets home. She doesn’t even feel it’s a choice any more. She is isolating herself and avoiding all family activities. Even when she is home, she is always in her room so that her parents’ don’t notice that she’s been using. She keeps promising herself that she will quit or cut down on her use. Amy has used all her savings and has been stealing from her mom’s purse regularly, praying that she won’t notice. She is arguing nonstop with her brothers and parents. Her parents have recently remarked on her weight loss and lack of focus. Sometimes Amy feels very low and wonders if life is worth living. She wonders how she got to this point. Schaefer and Espeland refer to this third level as “Abuse,” the early stage of addiction. Amy has lost control over her using and has developed an every day ritual of using after school. She has started anticipating and planning use and gets more clever at hiding it (staying in room at home, not attending family events). She’s made promises to cut down on her use. Common chemicals of choice are alcohol (hard liquor), marijuana (more potent varieties), uppers/downers, hallucinogens, and designer drugs such as ecstasy and Meth. The social consequences are much worse. Amy is broke and steals from her mom and she continues to pick fights at home. Her truancy has increased and she is not passing her classes. She has dropped all her old friends. As for personal consequences, she has lost weight and cannot concentrate. She also feels depressed, suicidal and shame for her actions. When Amy wakes up in the morning, she uses first thing. She no longer cares about school and rarely attends. Her moodiness has turned to aggression and defiance. She is obsessed with getting drugs for her next use and worries about keeping up her supply. She prefers to use alone. She wants to cut back, but just hasn’t. She is making poor choices. She shoplifted the other day to get some small electronic equipment that she could sell to buy drugs. She felt very lucky that the security guards didn’t catch her. Amy’s parents have had it with her and are threatening to kick her out. Even her “using friends” are worried about her. Sometimes Amy doesn’t remember what she did on a given day and she finds that she shakes all the time, feels physically ill and continues to lose weight at a rapid pace. She feels like she is in a black hole and wants to die. She is so scared. She hates herself and feels hopeless about the future.
Schaefer and Espeland’s last phase, “Addiction,” occurs when the teen is harmfully dependent. Amy now has no control over use and begins more rigid rituals (uses first thing in the morning). She is acting aggressive and defiant, she’s obsessed with use and supply and her judgment is impaired. She’s made attempts to quit, but can’t seem to do it. The chemicals of choice are alcohol, any other drug that is available, narcotics (cocaine, percodan, morphine, heroin) and crack. Socially, Amy has resorted to theft to obtain drugs and she is at risk of getting expelled from school. She continues to fight with her family and they are not even sure they want to live in the same house as her anymore. Her friends are also worried about her. Amy is also experiencing increased personal consequences that include extreme weight loss, tremors, withdrawal symptoms, impaired memory, fear, selfhatred and hopelessness. Using can be a very slippery slope. The above vignettes show Amy through the four stages of “use,” “misuse,” “abuse,” and “addiction.” This can happen slowly over time or rather quickly depending on social, environmental and biological factors. Luckily, there are treatments for addiction, but it takes hard work, patience, commitment and perseverance to recover. While this article primarily addressed alcohol and drugs, parts of it can apply to other addictions such as eating, shopping, playing video games, drinking coffee, and computers. The main difference is that some addictions won’t kill you, but can make your life miserable. It is important to assess how the activity affects the teen’s everyday life and whether it interferes with the teen’s functioning at school, home and social environment. It is beneficial for teens and adults to have a balanced life and to find healthy ways to relieve stress. A balanced life may include working (or going to school), doing homework, having time for social activities, exercising, eating nutritiously, practicing meditation and spending time with one’s family. Healthy stress relievers may include martial arts, watching comedy movies, talking and laughing with friends, taking a hot bath or shower, walking the family pet, reading, and playing or listening to music. If each teen has a plan in place for handling stress, it is less likely that the teen will reach for harmful chemicals. Janet Jacobi is a Marriage and Family Therapist and has a private practice in Cupertino at 20395 Pacifica Drive, Suite 101 (408) 9967575
Resources from the Verdadera Staff A Better Tomorrow 24 hour hotline 8009711586 Addiction Help www.addicthelp.com Alcoholics Anonymous www.aa.org Alanon www.alanon.org Bill Wilson Center’s 24 hour hotline Teen hotline: 18882477717
Choices and Consequences: What to do when a teenager uses alcohol and drugs By: Dick Schaefer and Pamela Espeland (1996) Take action in stopping a teenager’s involvement in drug use, this book provides a step by step intervention system to set them on the right track. Just Say Know : Talking with kids about drugs and alcohol By: Cynthia Kuhn, Scott Swartzwelder, Wilkie Wilson (2002) For parents and adults on how to communicate with kids about drug use and its aftermath. Nationwide Alcohol and Drug Addiction Rehab Help Information 18007846776 Suicide and Crisis HelpLine: (408) 2793312
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Addiction February 2009
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