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INFLUENCE ISSUE FEATURES
74 |
AMERICA’S MOST PASSIONATE STORYTELLER Soledad O’Brien is the people’s journalist, sparking important conversation among viewers and giving a voice to Americans that mainstream media often ignores.
80 |
THE INFLUENCERS
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AERO DYNAMIC
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This year’s league of extraordinary women continue to advance what it means to be a woman— it’s about kicking ass, taking names and changing the lives of people everywhere.
This winter season’s front lines of fashion are luminous and shining bright with cool metallics and clean lines.
THE SPECTRUM OF LOVE True love comes in many forms. Essayist Donna Hall explores her friend’s polyamorous relationship and its rippling effects.
MUSES & VISIONARIES MAGAZINE MandVmag.com
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muses & visionaries MAGAZINE
INFORM
Pg. 19
INSPIRE
46 | 50 |
19 | THE GOODS
Carefully curated wish lists
24 | EYES & EARS
52 |
A cultural roundup of new releases
30 | GADGETS & GEAR
Tech items ahead of the curve
32 |
54 |
UNPLUGGED
Slow your pace and dive into the culture of Mexico
BIG PICTURE
News from around the world
MASTER CLASS
Fiery councilwoman LaToya Cantrell is the new voice of New Orleans
Pg. 23
BUSINESS UNUSUAL
Forget love! Online match making brings CEOs, manufacturers together
IN THE LIFE OF
Olympian Hilary Knight proves that hockey is not just a guy’s sport
Pg. 32
40 | GLOBE TROTTING
Revive yourself at Boca Raton Resort & Club, Miami Beach’s Sense Beach House
Pg. 19 Pg. 60
NURTURE 58 | PROJECT ME
Bright ideas for a better you
60 | GATHERINGS
D.C.’s creatives comingle in a cozy atmosphere
IMPACT 102 | RAISE YOUR GLASS
Pg. 46
Money talks with WorthFM’s Michelle Smith, Amanda Steinberg
106 | MAKING WAVES Women to watch
109 | CROSSWORD PUZZLE M&V’s word fun
70 | ON THE COUCH
110 | R.S.V.P.
72 | GROWING PAINS
136 | VISIONS
Answers to life’s social dilemmas Self-care is good parenting
Pg. 50
Highlights and happenings Jenny Santi on the path to purpose and joy through giving
ON THE COVER
SOLEDAD O'BRIEN SHOT BY M&V IN NYC PHOTOGRAPHY BY NORMAN NELSON MAKEUP/HAIR/FASHION BY YAJAIRA
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Letter from the Publisher
M A G A Z I N E
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ere is a confession about our Influence issue. On many occasions in our office we have asked one another the following question: “Why are we doing an issue with an influence theme when every issue of M&V is basically an influence issue?” Truth be told, there is a lot of merit to this line of inquiry. All year long, we search out women who are making an impact on the world around them, whether it’s from the vantage point of a corner office or a kitchen table. Sometimes you may recognize them and know their stories, and other times you may not. If you don’t know them and find yourself happy to be introduced, then we have fulfilled a large part of our mission. For the recognizable faces, we dig deeper into their stories to share new details. But back to why we focus an entire issue on the influence theme. We do it so that we can get even more intriguing information packed into our pages, highlighting industries and interests, without being beholden to a more specific theme. It’s sounds like self-gratification, but I promise it’s for the greater good. Just keep reading and you’ll see what I mean.
The incredible Soledad O’Brien graces the cover of our third Influence issue. Why O’Brien? Because she is committed to in-depth journalism on topics and people who often don’t receive air time. O’Brien is empowering and transforming lives through her work as Starfish Media Group’s CEO and Starfish Foundation’s co-founder. This Emmy Award-winning journalist, who also serves as National Geographic Bee moderator, is the bright and engaging woman you see on television and also warm, witty and totally down-to-earth. Our team left the cover shoot held at O’Brien’s New York City offices with ear-to-ear smiles. Our Influencer feature shines a spotlight on eight women who exemplify an important aspect of what it means to have influence; and that is doing work and having a message that are part of the big, important conversations happening in the world around us. The Influence issue is always our first of the New Year, and it is a great way to kick off 2016.
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M A G A Z I N E
Publisher ERIN ROSSITTO Creative Director MOLLY GREENE Editorial Director LOLA THÉLIN + Copy Editor LINDA CULBERTSON Contributing Editor JODI BELDEN Assistant Manager, Fashion, Editorial ZLATA KOTMINA Crossword Editor MYLES MELLOR Staff Writers DR. RAMANI DURVASULA, SHANI GILCHRIST, MARGERY GORDON, STYLIANA RESVANIS, JONATHAN URBINA Contributors GREG DELLICARPINI JR., DONNA HALL, CHRISTINA HOLBROOK, JUNG LEE, CHELL LOVE, MERIN ROGERS, JENNY SANTI Photographers EMMA MCALARY, NICK MELE, NORMAN NELSON Illustrator ROLLIN MCGRAIL Chief Operating Officer ROY ASSAD 561.515.4552 ext. 800 roy@magazinemv.com Operations Manager NICOLE FAHRENHOLZ 561.515.4552 ext. 805 nicole@magazinemv.com Account Executives FLAVIA GUELLI 561.515.4552 ext. 808 flavia@magazinemv.com DANIELA IL GRANDE 561.515.4552 ext. 809 daniela@magazinemv.com + Advisory Board BEVERLY COGAN, BARBARA L. DIXON, MICHELLE FEUER, SCOTT FOGARTY, AMY LAGAE, BETH NEUHOFF, KATERINA PEREZ, JAN PLANIT, ELISABETH TRETTER For editorial or advertising correspondence Muses & Visionaries 319 Clematis St., Suite 510 West Palm Beach, FL 33401 info@magazinemv.com | 561.515.4552 | MandVmag.com
CONTRIBUTORS DONNA HALL MPH, MBA, lives and works in San Francisco. Since 2002, she has served as the president and CEO of the Women Donors Network (womendonors.org), a national network of progressive women philanthropists who connect, learn and take action through grant-making, investing and advocacy. She is a member of the “Roving Writers,” women who meet regularly to focus on creative writing, formed after spending a week together in a master class at Hedgebrook, a literary nonprofit that supports visionary women writers. Hall is starting work on a novel that grows out of the essay presented in M&V. She is the proud mother of two sons, the mother-in-law of two wonderful women and the abuelita of grandson Leo, 18 months old.
GREGORY DELLICARPINI JR. is the creator of the New Yorkbased men’s lifestyle brand oystercoloredvelvet.com. OCV creates an innovative culture where fashion, travel and entertainment converge with a kind of masculine and artful simplicity. Follow DelliCarpini on Twitter and Instagram at @pinijr and head to his site to catch the bleeding edge of menswear and travel.
MERIN ROGERS is the executive editor of the New York Observer Contributor Network. She splits her time between New York—where she lived for eight years after graduating with a degree in fashion merchandising from Virginia Commonwealth University—and Miami, where she relocated with her fiancé in June of 2015. Rogers has covered philanthropy, style, and wellness for the Observer, and is a certified holistic health coach with a focus on plantbased nutrition.
JUNG LEE is one of the most sought-after event designers in the world. Fête is her full-service event planning and design production firm founded with husband Josh Brooks. Born in South Korea and raised in New York City, Lee cites her family’s strong work ethic as an elemental part of her personality. A New York University graduate, she spent years building and managing gourmet food shops, further honing her entrepreneurial and design skills as a residential real estate developer. Her passion has lead her to open her namesake home, lifestyle and wedding registry store in NYC.
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INSPIRE “My coach said I run like a girl, and I said if he ran a little faster, he could too.�
Mia Hamm
Donald Sultan, Blue Poppies, 2015, Painted aluminum on polished aluminum base. 24.5 x 24 x 3 in, Vertu Gallery, Boca Raton
19th Edition 90 International Dealers Contemporary art, sculpture and photography January 20 - 24, 2016 Palm Beach County Convention Center artpalmbeach.com
INSPIRE
The GOODS “Historical buildings always transport me, and lately I have been feeling a closeness to the architecture of the southwest. There is a romantic juxtaposition about this location where the tough cowboys of the Wild West meet a softer feminine Spanish influence. It also makes for amazing style.” —Jodi Belden, M&V contributing editor
THE INSPIRATION
Oscar de la Renta Silk Tassel Clip-On Earrings $425 saksfifthavenue.com
Anthropologie Velay Silk Kerchief $49.50 anthropologie.com
Stetson Austral Western Hat in Bark $165 stetson.com
Pamela Love Toro Choker in Brass $690 pamelalovenyc.com
San Xavier del Bac Mission, Tucson, Arizona
Sea Patch Lace Top $295 shopbop.com
J.Crew Denim Jacket in Tyler Wash $128 jcrew.com Hermès Samarcande Paperweight $1,350 usa.hermes.com
Zimmerman Henna Embroidered Silk Dress $850 net-a-porter.com
Zara Velvet Top $35.90 zara.com Forever 21 Perforated Faux Leather Booties $37.90 forever21.com
Nasty Gal x Nila Anthony Wild West Suede Bag $58 nastygal.com
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Palm Beach - Martha’s Vineyard - New York - Pittsburgh 561.932.0631 • INFO@GWIFL.COM W W W. G I LWA L S H . C O M
INSPIRE
The GOODS “I have been obsessed with the quiet gracefulness and raw expression of the story of Orlando written by Virginia Woolf for many years. I love the book and was swept away when I first saw the film starring Tilda Swinton. It remains a major source of inspiration for me every day. I love the idea of being able to take on both genders in one lifetime. I actually got the name for my blog from the book.”—Greg DelliCarpini Jr., blogger behind oystercoloredvelvet.com Saint Laurent Floral Printed Wool Muslin Scarf $775 luisaviaroma.com
THE INSPIRATION
Galerie Lerique Glorious Stars Brooch $341 luisaviaroma.com
A film still of Orlando, 1992
Barbisio-Lapin Fur Felt Hat $145 luisaviaroma.com
Acne Studios Drifter Balsam Green Pants $330 acnestudios.com
Charvet Textured Silk and Linen-Blend Tie $235 mrporter.com
Asos Slim Suit Jacket $153 asos.com
Moschino Monogrammed Gem Weekender Tote $1,878.15 farfetch.com
Mykita + Maison Margiela MM DUAL 005 $540 mykita.com
Saint Laurent Black Patent Leather French Boots $1,195 ssense.com
Vivienne Westwood Man Pink Prince of Wales Castle Coat $2,580 viviennewestwood.com
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INSPIRE
The GOODS “There is a great allure to Cuba. It's as if it is frozen in time. It has beautiful colonial history and architecture. It is also beautiful how optimistic people are and how they celebrate life despite the failed political and economic experiment. It is this vibrant energy that draws me to this place and wanting to create a special project here.” —Jung Lee, visionary behind Jung Lee NY
Rag & Bone Straw Panama Hat $230 net-a-porter.com
THE INSPIRATION
Photo by ©Marc PoKempner
Celia Cruz 100% Azucar $80 amazon.com
Chanel Rouge Coco $36 shop.nordstrom.com
Santiago de Cuba, Cuba, mid-80s.
Cohiba Robusto Fino $48-$206 thompsoncigar.com
Johanna Ortiz Silk Ruffled Midnight Skirt $1,375 modaoperandi.com
Mario Luca Giusti Milly Tumbler, Set of Six $199 frontgate.com
Roberts Radio Revival R260 $183 robertsradiostore.com
Arca Dark Horn Sculpture Table Lighter $1,000 jungleeny.com
Raynaud Verdures Porcelain Cake Plate $429 jungleeny.com
Norma Kamali Bill Ruched One-Piece Swimsuit $350 bergdorfgoodman.com
Polaroid Autofocus 660 Land Camera $138 blinq.com
Havana Club 15 Year Old $188 masterofmalt.com
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The LATEST on the ARTS & CULTURE SCENE
Art
Dress designed by Neri Oxman and Iris van Herpen, 3D-printed by Stratasys (Iris van Herpen Haute Couture Paris Fashion Show, January 2013)
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Photography of Corita Kent Exhibition, circa 1964
eatles lyrics, bohemian poetry and advertising slogans intertwine social critique and sentimental optimism in the work of Frances Kent (1918-86), a professional artist and practicing nun. At 18, she assumed the name Sister Mary Corita in 1936 at the Immaculate Heart of Mary, which houses her estate at the Corita Art Center (corita.org) on the Los Angeles campus where she lived, studied and taught college students for three decades until her escalating activism against the Vietnam War led to a rupture with the Catholic Church in 1968. Her remaining 18 years were devoted to making art in Boston, home to her monumental Rainbow Swash, atop a gas tank on the city’s industrial outskirts that since 1971 has signaled riders’ arrival via an interstate highway. Her idiosyncratic life story has overshadowed her accomplishments as a prolific printmaker—an unjust imbalance ripe for reappraisal through a spate of institutional shows. Corita Kent and the Language of Pop, at the San Antonio Museum of Art (samuseum.org) Feb. 13-May 8, puts her contributions on par with male contemporaries who still dominate the pop art movement. Flanked by Andy Warhol, Roy Lichtenstein and Robert Indiana, Kent holds her own with more than 60 of her nearly 700 works on paper, from early biblical narratives to vibrant bulletins emblazoned with universal emblems, commonplace objects and bold letters. Advocating peace, love and compassion in tumultuous times, Kent exhorts audiences to confront unresolved social, political and spiritual issues with a persuasive urgency. —M.G.
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Top image: Photography by Eloy Ricardez Luna, museum purchase with funds donated by the Fashion Council, Museum of Fine Arts Boston; bottom image: ©Courtesy of the Corita Art Center, Immaculate Heart Community, Los Angeles; opposite page, left to right: ©Board of Trustees, National Gallery of Art, Washington; Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts; Courtesy Tom Veilleux Gallery, Portland, Maine.
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ith smartphones stealing everyone’s attention as our most ubiquitous accessory, it’s only natural that fashion designers would flip the script by cribbing code from the playbook of computer programmers. This digital score is far from settled, but the initial results are eye-opening, from interactive garments that monitor moods and medical conditions to textiles integrating laser technology that may someday replace toxic dyes. Taking stock of #techstyle, from March 6 to July 10, the Museum of Fine Arts Boston (mfa.org) is updating the status of its expansive collection of contemporary apparel and accessories with cutting-edge loans and commissions by industry innovators. Top draws include Hussein Chalayan’s remote-controlled costume, Possessed, from a freshly staged ballet; a 3-D print collaboration between hot Dutch designer Iris van Herpen and MIT professor Neri Oxman; and a customized version of the Twitter Dress debuted in 2012 by CuteCircuit, the London duo that has lit up Katy Perry in concert and set red carpets abuzz. —Margery Gordon
INSPIRE
Art
S
etting out to right the wrongs done to women modernists, the Norton Museum of Art is retracing the steps of four accomplished painters from 1910 to 1935 in O’Keeffe, Stettheimer, Torr, Zorach: Women Modernists in New York, Feb. 18 to May 15 (norton.org). “Their critics at the time saw them all through the lens of their gender,” says Ellen Roberts, the Norton’s curator of American art, “and that initial critical reception is also affecting how we see them today.” She points out the prevailing influence of Freud’s theories that women experience the world intuitively, absorbing wisdom passively through their womb rather than actively generating ideas through intellectual contemplation like the more objective men. Georgia O’Keeffe undeniably stokes sexualized interpretations with her suggestive close-ups of flora, particularly pronounced in the phallic 1930 series, Jack-inthe-Pulpit, gathered at the West Palm Beach museum. The stereotypical assumptions permeating rave reviews left O’Keeffe conflicted. In the wake of a 1922 Vanity Fair article that described her work as “a revelation of the very essence of woman as Life Giver,” the artist confided to a male gallerist about her discomfort: “The things they write make me sound so strange and far removed from what I feel of myself. They make me seem like some strange unearthly sort of creature floating in the air—breathing in clouds for nourishment—when the truth is that I like beef steak—and like it rare at that.” In the era of the emancipated “New Woman,” O’Keeffe’s inconsistent association with feminist causes and reluctance to participate in gender-exclusive organizations and exhibitions reflects an ambivalence Roberts perceives that her other subjects shared about “how they should position themselves.” The perennial struggle to balance
career goals with social expectations and domestic demands took its toll on all but O’Keeffe, who escaped playing hostess in New York by retreating to New Mexico, where the isolation of the desert proved fertile territory for the childless artist. O’Keeffe and Marguerite Thompson Zorach attended salons at the stately home of the Stettheimer sisters, where Florine Stettheimer sheltered her fanciful scenes and self-portraits from the public eye. Zorach found oil painting too taxing to balance with childrearing, so she took up embroidery and batik, crafts belittled as homemakers’ hobbies. While reclassification as a decorative artist may have undermined her earlier achievements in media taken more seriously, her innovative textiles attracted exposure, income from commissions and critical acclaim. The large tapestries were clearly distinguished from husband William Zorach’s canvases, which had become intertwined with her impressionistic and cubist compositions in previous joint exhibitions. Arthur Dove has cast a longer, more imposing shadow over Helen Torr, leading some to dismiss her abstracted landscapes as derivative of her husband’s widely collected work. Mounting a strong case for reappraisal of this foursome’s contributions to art history, the Norton cleverly capitalizes on O’Keeffe’s marquee value to lure in visitors and introduce them to lesser-known talents. Each artist shines in this evenly divided survey of 60 paintings culled from a prestigious array of private and public collections, including the National Gallery of Art in Washington, D.C., and the Portland Museum of Art in Maine, the show’s subsequent venue June 23-Sept. 18. The most compelling proof lies in the originality of the diverse visual evidence, expressing an individuality that is the ultimate measure of success for modernists. —M.G.
Left to right: Georgia O'Keeffe, Jack-in-the-Pulpit No.IV, 1930; Florine Stettheimer, Picnic at Bedford Hills, 1918; Marguerite Thompson Zorach, Deer in the Forest, 1914
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Art
ver 30 years since the unsolved death of influential Cuban-American artist Ana Mendieta (1948-85), a mystique has enveloped her dramatic, fleeting life and work that echoes the ritualistic aura and primal symbolism of her groundbreaking actions. Emerging in the early 1970s amid an explosion of avant-garde movements, she fused land art, body art, performance art and experimental film with photography and sculpture into a unique hybrid she branded “earth-body” works. Mendieta’s foremost instrument was her own petite figure, usually nude and embedded in the elements: buried under rocks, floating in water, coated in feathers, and traced with soil, sand, flora or flame. Through the latter series of signature Siluetas, a 1977 artist’s statement explains that she sought to “transcend myself in a voluntary submersion and a total identification with nature…to express the immediacy of life and the eternity of nature.” New generations will be exposed to her images by Covered in Time and History: The Films of Ana Mendieta, Feb. 28 to July 3 at the NSU Art Museum Fort Lauderdale at Nova Southeastern University (nsuartmuseum.org). The premiere exhibition devoted to her cinematic repertoire and most extensive screening stateside is the culmination of a comprehensive effort to preserve more than 100 films and videos she produced in just 10 years of a career cut short. Typically compiled on a single monitor as an addendum to her still compositions, the motion pictures, some recently discovered or rarely seen, hold court here: simultaneous projections of 21 digitally remastered films, accompanied by 27 prints mostly shot at the same sites, in a theatrical format bound to amplify their visceral impact.
Vestiges of Mendieta’s solitary performances eclipse the lingering dislocation from her abandonment by parents who protected her from the Communist Revolution by securing safe passage to South Florida aboard Operation Pedro Pan, the 1961 exodus of 14,000 unaccompanied Cuban children who entered federal custody. Staging “a return to the maternal source” empowered this exile and the camera lens she cast as witness to expose only after-images. In Mendieta’s last known motion picture, recorded four years before her mysterious fall from a Manhattan high-rise, two wavy lines of sand abstracting motherly curves skirt the shallow waters off Key Biscayne at the nation’s southeastern edge. The 1981 video’s ambient soundtrack of seagulls calling and waves crashing, a departure from her mostly silent films, becomes a swan song to a force of nature. —M.G.
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Both images: The Estate of Ana Mendieta Collection, LLC, courtesy Galerie Lelong, New York; provided by NSU Art Museum Fort Lauderdale
The first frames establish Mendieta’s physical provocation and psychological intensity in her early forays into filmmaking at the University of Iowa’s pioneering Intermedia Program. Two shorts from 1973 introduce blood as a recurring ingredient, suggesting unseen violence in response to the brutal assault and murder of a female student. Detached surveillance of passersby stepping around wet umber streaks across a sidewalk, ominously emanating from an urban doorway, retains a persistent tension as college administrators avoid addressing the current rape epidemic plaguing campuses. She confronts the viewer head-on in Sweating Blood, darkness surrounding a close-up of her impassive face, eyes shut as red beads appear to seep from the pores bordering her hairline until two trickles bracket one eye, their gradual descent suspended when the reel ends abruptly.
Top to bottom: Ana Mendieta, film stills from Creek, 1974, and Anima, Silueta de Cohetes (Firework Piece), 1976
INSPIRE
Films
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omantic comedies and the month of February go together like peanut butter and jelly. This year’s winner in the love category is How to Be Single, based on Liz Tuccillo’s novel of the same name. The movie is set around a single 38-year-old woman, played by Dakota Johnson (Fifty Shades of Grey), a naïve woman seeking true love through every possible avenue, including blind dates and online courting. Her trusty sidekick is played by funny Aussie Rebel Wilson, who, of course, brings in a high dose of humor and sexual suggestion to the film. The overlying lesson is a sweet one: With the help of her girlfriends (Wilson, Alison Brie and Leslie Mann), Johnson’s character navigates New York City’s dating scene while learning how to be comfortable in her skin as a single gal. Damon Wayans, Jr., Dan Stevens and Anders Holm depict single life from the guy’s perspective. In theaters Feb. 12
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lizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy are back. The film Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is an adaption of the 2009 Seth Grahame-Smith’s parody book on Jane Austen’s classic novel, Pride and Prejudice. Grahame-Smith twisted Austen’s original text to include a zombie plot line and was met with surprising literary success. The film set in early 19th century England focuses on the tangled relationships between lovers from different social classes mired with zombies. Directed by Burr Steers, it follows Elizabeth Bennet (Lily James) and her sisters (Suki Waterhouse, Bella Heathcote, Ellie Bamber and Millie Brady), who all possess a thorough knowledge of singing, dancing and the art of war. Elizabeth’s love interest, Mr. Darcy (Sam Riley), serves as a mentor to the girls, teaching them the basics of survival. The cast also includes Lena Headey as Lady Catherine de Bourgh, Douglas Booth as Mr. Bingley and Sally Phillips as Mrs. Bennet. In theaters Feb. 5
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hiskey Tango Foxtrot is based on journalist Kim Barker’s 2011 memoir, The Taliban Shuffle: Strange Days in Afghanistan and Pakistan, in which she shared stories about her coverage of wartime in Afghanistan and Pakistan and the challenges of being a woman in a warzone. This dramedy, adapted by Robert Carlock, has an impressive cast of characters, including Tina Fey (This Is Where I Leave You), Margot Robbie (Focus) and Martin Freeman (Sherlock). Fey plays the protagonist, a cable-news journalist sent on assignment to Kabul who becomes entrenched in the lifestyle, a peculiar combination of adrenaline and parties. Dynamic duo Glenn Ficarra and John Requa (Crazy, Stupid, Love) directed the film, and Billy Bob Thornton rounds out the ensemble. The film’s satiric plot provides an atypical take on war, Tina Fey style. In theaters March 4 —Movie reviews by Zlata Kotmina
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Books League Insecurities in 2009. Rowley studied philosophy at Yale and law at Columbia. In between leaving the firm and starting the blog, she wrote and sold her first novel, Life After Yes, which published in 2010. She surprised herself by falling in love with the blogging medium. “I began blogging at a time when I was existentially quite vulnerable and, yes, insecure. I’d just lost my father to cancer, was in the weeds of new parenthood and was stepping into a new career. [It] served as an almost medicinal lifeline and as a way to connect with others and process my uncertainties.”
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As a counterbalance to her life in the digital sphere as a blogger, Rowley created Happier Hours Literary Salons. The salons are monthly intimate gatherings at her New York City home where invited attendees connect with contemporary authors of fiction and nonfiction. She says, “I started Happier Hours because I was hungry for the deep, in-person conversations about books and ideas that are sadly so scarce in this fast-paced, highly-digital modern culture. What I love about my salons is that while a common pulse of intellectual curiosity and affection for the written word can be felt through all the events, no two evenings in my yellow living room are the same.”
Rowley was a litigation associate in a large New York City law firm when she decided to switch gears entirely and chase her long-held dream to write. She left her job in 2005 and launched her blog, Ivy
Somehow this busy author, blogger, convener of bookophiles, wife and mom of three daughters finds time to attend to her passion for fiction writing. Her new book, The Ramblers, follows three multifarious characters through a tumultuous week in New York City, where the past complicates the present, making their futures all the more uncertain. To bring the characters to life, Rowley undertook extensive research on a broad range of topics, like ornithology, bipolar disorder, photography and professional home organizing.
ou may have pondered the oft-asked question, “Who would you invite to a dinner party if you could invite anyone?” Well how about a book club? Our guest of honor would be New York City-based novelist, blogger and all-around cool gal Aidan Donnelley Rowley. With the release of her second book, The Ramblers (William Morrow, February 2016), and a flurry of other pursuits, Rowley is leading an enviable literary life. Her career trajectory is the captivating kind of story everyone relishes—one where the heart leads and the rest seems to fall into place.
BEST BOOKS ... CHOSEN BY AIDAN DONNELLY ROWLEY Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott (Anchor, 1995). I am a big fan of books on writing and the creative life; I keep my favorites stacked nearby on a shelf in my office and turn to them periodically when I’m feeling stuck or sluggish in my own writing and need a reminder that there are others out there doing what I’m doing, struggling in similar and different ways. Lamott’s book, my golden goto, is funny, timeless and deeply wise. I’m partial to her chapter on perfectionism where she writes, “Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people.” True for writing; true for life.
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H Is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald (Grove Press, 2014). This memoir got under my skin, haunted me and made me think differently about losing my dad. Macdonald writes powerfully about the grief she feels (and doesn’t feel) in the wake of her own father’s death, about how she turns away from her broken heart and even her humanity when faced with such unthinkable loss and plunges herself into the dark, redemptive life of training a goshawk. What I loved most was Macdonald’s self-awareness and humility and her ultimate, hard-earned conclusion that wilderness and its gifts can be found anywhere, even tucked in the imperfect, bristling human world, and that, at the end of the day, “hands are for other human hands to hold.”
INSPIRE
Here is New York by E.B. White (reprint, Little Bookworm, 2000). Dad read me Charlotte’s Web when I was a little girl and I’ve been a fan of E. B. White ever since. White penned Here is New York during the summer of 1948, but his portrait of New York City rings just as true today, almost 70 years later. This book, which begins so beautifully—“On any person who desires such queer prizes, New York will bestow the gift of loneliness and the gift of privacy.”—is an inspirational anchor of The Ramblers; the opening scene of my novel takes place at The Here Inn, named for White’s slim, stunning ode to my beloved hometown.
The Emperor’s Children by Claire Messud (Knopf, 2006). This is one of my all-time favorite New York novels. Messud renders the city with nuance and charm and brings to life a cast of flawed, searching characters. The Sept. 11 anchoring is particularly poignant for me as I’m a life long New Yorker and was there on that tragic day in 2001. Messud’s prose is lush and riddled with well-chosen detail, and the narrative offers a unique, if at times critical, look at questions of class and privilege in contemporary times.
A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara (Doubleday, 2015). This unparalleled and unforgettable novel is about so many things: life and love, loss and loyalty, youth and age, friendship and family and fear, art and passion. Reading it was a humbling and sometimes harrowing experience. I found myself immersed and invested in the often-dark world of Yanigihara’s embattled, gorgeously human characters. I had the privilege of meeting Hanya last spring before I read her book and we talked shop about the publishing process. What a treat it was to glimpse the kind, thoughtful person behind such a literary masterpiece.
Music M.I.A and Santigold are back for sweet, musical revenge. From their unique sounds to their bold lyrics and personal style, they never disappoint.
Mathangi “Maya” Arulpragasam, aka M.I.A., is the English singer, songwriter, rapper, director, visual artist and much more. She took over the charts with the 2011 single, Paper Planes, launching her to global recognition. Three of her songs made it into the multi award-winning soundtrack for the movie Slumdog Millionaire. You have to admire how vocal M.I.A. is about worldwide issues. Her new song, Borders, explores the debate over immigrants; the video shows migrants climbing over barbed-wire fences and packed in tiny boats. She is the benchmark for worldwide news delivered with an electronic sound. American singer and producer Santigold is the pseudonym given to Santi White by a close friend. Her two debut singles, Creator and L.E.S. Artistes, created a lot of buzz on Internet media outlets, which helped propel her debut album, Santogold, into an international success in 2008. She contributed to the Hunger Games: Catching Fire and Paper Towns soundtracks. White’s third album, 99 Cents, released late January 2016, explores her mezzo-soprano vocal range and electronic sounds. —Z.K.
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INSPIRE
Gadgets & gear
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1.BellaBeat LEAF $119.99-149.99 bellabeat.com Taking care of your body just got easier and sleeker. The LEAF, shown in rose gold, logs sleep quality, tracks daily movements, monitors reproductive health and offers a schedule feature for reminders like taking medicine. 2. Stellé Audio Mini-Clutch Speaker $149-$199 stelleaudio.com It’s not magic; it’s technology meets fashion. This clutch bag offers 15 hours worth of speakerphone capabilities and wireless connectivity and of course, space for makeup. Available in four colors.
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3. HidrateSpark $59.95 hidratespark.com Thirsty? This smart water bottle measures your daily activity levels, as well as the area’s temperature, humidity and elevation, to calculate your daily water goal. If you forget to drink, the bottle glows to remind you. 4. Projects Watches Twirler $140-$158 projectswatches.com With designer Johannes Lindner’s Twirler watch in steel, time is definitely a floating concept. The watch offers a dynamic picture of time with its unusual 30-degree angled hour and minute hands. 5. Bobine $35 fusechicken.com This gravity-defying charging iPhone dock is a design feat. Wrapped in nickel-plated steel, the cable can be shaped into a tripod, stand or dock to be used anywhere.
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4. 5.
Alex Katz, from left Black Dress 1 (Yi), Black Dress 3 (Oona), Black Dress 4 (Sharon), All pieces 2015, 32-color silkscreen, Edition 35, 80 x 30 inches, Vertu Gallery, Boca Raton
65 International Galleries Contemporary art, sculpture and photography March 18 - 21, 2016 International Pavilion of the Palm Beaches Florida Atlantic University 777 Glades Road, Boca Raton, FL, USA artbocaraton.com
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MEXICO By Christina Holbrook
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exico is an idea, as much as it is a place. A tantalizing notion of dropping out of our usual lives for a little while and crossing the border into a place where life moves more slowly. A road trip along less-traveled side roads in Mexico’s Yucatån Peninsula (home of the ever popular Cancun) is the best way to get a lay of the land, beyond the major tourist destinations where chain restaurants and all-inclusives dominate. You’ll encounter smaller towns and less popular sites, stay mostly at family-run inns and hotels and find a Mexico that is magical and full of discovery.
Unplugged YUCATAN PENINSULA DAY 1 - ARRIVAL, PUERTO MORELOS The trip begins with a flight into Cancun International Airport. A plethora of car rental companies line the street across from the airport. Car rentals in Mexico are easy and relatively inexpensive; liability insurance is required. Visit the State Department’s website, travel.state.gov, for safety information. Puerto Morelos, a mere 20 minutes south, is what you’d imagine Mexico was like 30 years ago. Traffic moves slowly as locals stop in the middle of the road to chat and dogs saunter by. The beachfront Hotel Hacienda Morelos is steps from the lively main square that is lined with small artisan shops. Stop for a glass of wine and tasty empanadas at Uruguayan restaurant Al Chimichurri, then let the tantalizing pulse of salsa and meringue music drag you to La Sirena, a bar that looks over the square.
DAY 2 - VALLADOLID
Two hours west is Valladolid. Boutique hotel Casa Tia Micha is an enchanting tropical oasis tucked behind thick walls. Valladolid is a picturesque colonial city that feels small and is easy to navigate. The impressive Cathedral San Gervasio (or Servacio) faces the main plaza. An important collection of Mexican folk art and contemporary art is available at the private house museum, Casa de los Venados. Also close by is Tardan, a small and elegant boutique located on Valladolid’s shopping street, Calzado de los Frailes. It is Mexico’s oldest shop making traditional jipi or panama hats. Yucatecan cuisine is at its best in Valladolid. Las Campanas, near the cathedral, serves savory poc chuc, grilled, pounded pork. For seafood, try Taberna de los Frailes near the Convent de San Bernardino. If you’re lucky, the owner of Tia Micha will prepare a tasty breakfast: fresh papaya and mamey fruit, eggs with chaya (a Mayan version of kale), tortillas, hot chocolate and flan.
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INSPIRE DAY 3 - EK BALAM AND RIO LAGARTOS
North of Valladolid is the ancient Temple of Ek Balam—Mayan for “black jaguar.” The ruins are deep in the jungle and only half-excavated, making them even more mysterious. The steps to the top of the temple are narrow and steep, but the view is worth the workout. Further north, winding through farmland, cattle ranches and jungle, is Río Lagartos (river of crocodiles), home to over 400 flamingos that wade among the mangroves.
Unplugged YUCATAN PENINSULA DAY 4 - MÉRIDA Be prepared to deal with the fast pace of a big city. Mérida feels more hectic and rushed than other parts of Mexico. The chic boutique hotel, MedioMundo, with its inner-facing rooms in brilliant shades of blue and red, lovely garden and pool, is a welcoming retreat. Santa Lucía is a nearby square/park with restaurants and shops. The busy Plaza Grande, surrounded by impressive colonial buildings, is the venue for cultural events. A wonderful surprise is the contemporary Gran Museo del Mundo Maya, where interactive exhibits combine with a fabulous archeological collection to help visitors immerse themselves in the history of the Yucatan. Merida’s other museums include Museo de la Ciudad de Merida, Museo de Arte Contemporáneo and Museo Regional de Antropología. Later in the day, explore Mercado Lucas de Galvez for spices and artisanal salt. Dine at local favorite La Chaya Maya for bowls of sopa de lima (lime soup), followed by pollo pibil, a hearty chicken wrapped in banana leaves.
DAY 5 - THE ROAD TO UXMAL
On the way out of Mérida, plan for brunch at Hacienda Temozon. Once a vast cattle ranch and later a farm producing henequen, the tough fiber that created fortunes for land barons in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, Hacienda Temozon today operates as a luxury hotel and spa. The brunch includes everything from European pastries to freshly prepared tacos and quesadillas. The maître d’ at the Hacienda loves to share local secrets, especially the one about two hidden cenotes (sinkholes) nearby. Follow his directions, including taking a left at the banana tree, and you’ll find the vivid blue waters of X’Batun and Dzonbacal. Bring snorkeling gear.
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INSPIRE DAYS 6 & 7 - UXMAL AND SANTA ELENA The Puuc Route is an area known for dozens of archeological sites, some of them more familiar, like Uxmal, and others that are rarely visited. The base for exploration is the small town of Santa Elena, with two adorable inns: the apricot-colored Flycatcher Inn and The Pickled Onion. Legend has it the Temple of the Magician at Uxmal was built by a dwarf king; archeologists say that the site was once a beautiful city populated by 25,000 inhabitants. Beyond Uxmal are many more ruins to discover along the Puuc Route. Kabah is a fascinating ancient settlement known for its masks of the rain god, Chac, and nearby Sayil, Labná and Xlapak are also well worth a visit. Delve into these ancient mysteries to find Grutas de Loltún, a majestic underground gallery where one can see the faint handprints from ancient Mayan ceremonies. Last but not least is Choco-Story, a chocolate museum in Uxmal, for a delicious tasting of Mayan hot chocolate. Mayan priests and royalty drank the cocoa bean beverage over 1,000 years ago.
DAYS 8 & 9 - MAHAHUAL By now the ocean is probably calling your name. From Santa Elena, drive across the Yucatan to Mahahual, a laid-back beach town two hours north of the Belize border. Divers come from all over to explore the Banco Chinchorro, drawn by its coral reefs and rich variety of sea life. The malecón (stone embankment) is lined with small cafes, dive shops (check out Mar Adentro) and Costa Maya Yoga, a bright, airy yoga studio. Bungalow beach hotel MayaLuna has a fantastic restaurant serving pineapple stuffed with coconut curried shrimp, savory rice and cashew nuts. There’s also Fernando’s, a small restaurant with just nine tables and Fernando himself at your service. Fernando recommends the octopus salad, traditional Arrachera beef, and a pitcher of sangria—all musts. To further lift your spirits, sample some of the restaurant’s 100-plus varieties of Mescal.
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Unplugged YUCATAN PENINSULA DAY 10 - BACALAR
Head inland to Bacalar on the shores of the cenote-fed Lago Bacalar. In town there is an old colonial square and a fortress that once guarded Bacalar from pirates making their way inland from the sea. If the sun is out, an afternoon of snorkeling is in order at Cenote Azul. Or visit the upscale Rancho Encantado hotel, beautifully situated on a private swath of Lago Bacalar, where you can paddle out in a kayak to enjoy the sunset.
DAY 11 - AKUMAL
It’s time to return to Puerto Morales. The main road will take you along the “Riviera Maya” and past popular destinations Tulum and Playa de Carmen. The once-small diving town Akumal has retained some of its laid-back character, although lunch at La Buena Vida is a bit of a shock—packed with Americans, but offering a great ocean view and tasty fish tacos.
All photos courtesy of Mexico Tourism Board
DAY 12 - DEPARTURE
Back in Puerto Morales and time for one last Mexican meal: Try Tiano, a small garden restaurant with candlelit meals, complemented by a wine tasting and sampling of the strong, green Mayan liquor, Xtabentun.
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Unplugged GLOBE TROTTING Sense Beach House Miami Beach, FLorida sensebeachhouse.com
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here’s a generous share of frenzy in Miami Beach’s South Beach neighborhood. The clubs, restaurants and sidewalks along its legendary Ocean Drive are packed with locals and tourists dancing, eating and drinking against a cacophony of thumping music. So it’s hard to imagine that this area of the city I long associated with wild nights and hangovers could contain Sense Beach House, a sanctuary for relaxation and rejuvenation. The 18-room boutique hotel was located close to everywhere we wanted to go, but just far enough from the pulsating main drag to provide a romantic weekend getaway. During a brief wait to check in, my husband and I sat in The Parlor on comfy couches, surrounded by calming blues and sand-colored accents, whitewashed woods and dappled natural light. My husband commented, “It feels like we’re waiting for a spa treatment.” And that was the theme for the weekend. Every nook and cranny of Sense Beach House has a spa feel, scent and sensuality. From the terrace of our quiet ocean view room, we watched the waves foam at the shoreline. Our room was nicely appointed with sand and white tones and luxurious linens. The Local House, on Sense Beach House’s first floor, offers indoor and outdoor dining at surprisingly reasonable prices, an eclectic menu and exceptional staff. We enjoyed Blue Point oysters, octopus salad and ceviche (my favorite) for appetizers, and rib eye and Branzino entrees. The restaurant appears to have a strong
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local fan base, especially for breakfast, which features eggs Benedict four ways. With great food, came great service. Every server provided just the right amount of attention and interest with genuine smiles and extensive knowledge of every dish and the wine list. The hotel’s rooftop Oasis is a great spot for a social gathering or romantic intermezzo. The pool has a tiled bench submerged along its entire perimeter, with the water no deeper than 3½ feet—sit, soak and relax. Generously padded beach chaises are positioned for prime tanning as the sun ascends throughout the day. Couches and cushioned chairs are configured for klatches. We sipped martinis and enjoyed the sun setting behind the Miami skyline, before walking across the street to the beach. Sense Beach House stands in the midst of the Art Deco District, which beautifully represents SoBe’s soul and character with its bold colors and appealing shapes. With 800-plus structures built between the 1920s and 1940s, the district is on the National Register of Historic Places. Any bus tour will point out some of the more famous buildings—The Delano, The Breakwater, Colony Theater—or arrange a guided walking tour or audio tour at the Miami Design Preservation League’s Art Deco Welcome Center. So as it turns out, there is a serene side to SoBe. It’s called Sense Beach, and it’s a welcome respite from the flurry and fun of the illustrious neighborhood. —Linda Culbertson
INSPIRE
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Unplugged GLOBE TROTTING Boca Raton Resort & Club Boca Raton, FLORIDA bocaresort.com
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greeing on a vacation spot can be a sore subject for couples; deciding where to spend that sacred time off is about as serious at it gets. Typically one wants to totally check out by relaxing at a spa or beach, while the other wants action and adventure. I have suffered from this situation. Until recently, deciding on the perfect destination was a tug-of-war, but then I found the Boca Raton Resort & Club, A Waldorf Astoria Resort. This 356-acre compound is the answer to all your vacation wishes. Built in 1926 by Addison Mizner, this resort has been collecting awards and accolades for the past 90 years (Happy Anniversary!), including being named one of the Greatest Hotels in the World by Travel + Leisure magazine. The property includes the main estate (the Cloister), the Yacht Club, the Tower, Boca Beach Club—which just underwent a $120 million renovation in 2009 (not too shabby), two 18-hole championship golf courses, 30 tennis courts, spa, seven pools, a marina, oh and a private beach. There is most definitely something for everyone, especially if you love to eat. I’m not just talking hamburgers and shrimp cocktails; a hard-to-please foodie would have something to write home about with 15 restaurants and lounges serving up an array of specialties. This former New Yorker dove into Morimoto’s Sushi Bar for her favorites: Toro Tartare and Rock Shrimp Wasabi. The atmosphere is light and easy, perfect for a late lunch or sake tasting.
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For those of us who like to watch from the sidelines, 501 East Kitchen and Bar is nestled right on the golf course. The dining room is great for a sit-down lunch or dinner, but the action is at the outside bar and deck, which overlooks the greens. You can hear the holes-in-one while you are cooling down with specialty Florida-brewed beer cocktails and savory sweet brunch classics. The authentic Tuscan restaurant, Lucca, is a good choice for a family dinner or a romantic evening. Family-style dishes of wood roasted clams and the Gumba Meatballs pair perfectly with pizzetas and hearty pasta dishes. Definitely order the Lobster Scampi. But enough about the food because the crown jewel at this resort, if I do say so myself, is the Waldorf Astoria Spa. The 50,000-square-foot private oasis inspired by Spain’s Alhambra Palace offers every service you can think of within their 44 treatment rooms, but it’s the Spa Ritual Bath that is second to none, and coming from a former beauty editor, that says a lot. I don’t even know if I can explain it other than to say it’s a journey of the senses. You are personally guided through several bath and shower experiences where every moment is thought out and meticulously planned. I never wanted it to end. As the weekend came to a close, I felt like a new me, and it lasted even as we drove away from what we both concluded was one of our best vacations ever. —Jodi Belden
INSPIRE
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Photo Credit: © Tiffany & Co.
Runway Collection left to right:
BURBERRY PRORSUM TORY BURCH GUCCI CHANEL Accessories:
Paloma’s Sugar Stacks rings by TIFFANY & CO. Monogram Idylle pendant in pink gold and diamonds by LOUIS VUITTON Stingray handbag with gold metal frame by SALVATORE FERRAGAMO Oliver Peoples “Abrie” sunglasses by ILORI OPTICAL
SPRING
2016
PRETTY IN PINK
Soft cotton candy. Bright bubblegum. Glimmering rose gold. The Gardens Mall brings every shade of pink proven powerful on the spring runways, from a collection of trend-setting labels including Chanel and Gucci. Whether you rock the hot hue in a fiercely feminine fashion with flirty silhouettes, or toughen it up with metallics and architectural tailoring, hits of pink are just what your wardrobe needs for that all-important seasonal refresh.
THE GARDENS MALL THEGARDENSMALL.COM
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INFORM “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”
Lily Tomlin
Big picture NEWS AND REPORTS FROM AROUND THE WORLD
The Gender Equality Fight Goes Viral
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he gender equality movement is asking for solidarity across the board with an initiative called HeforShe, spearheaded by U.N. Women, the United Nations organization dedicated to gender equality and the empowerment of women. The platform asks men—one-half of humanity—to commit to and support women—the other half of humanity, for the benefit of all. At the time of deadline, more than 570,000 men across the world had taken the pledge, and the number is growing. heforshe.org
Hailing a Pink Taxi
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ccording to the United Nations’ 2013 report on the social, economic and legal empowerment of Egyptian women, Egypt consistently ranks low in advancing the status of women. Given that ranking, it is not surprising that 99.3 percent of Egyptian women and girls report being sexually harassed in their lifetime and 86.5 percent report not feeling safe or secure in public transportation. Taking a cue from society, Reem Fawzy launched Pink Taxi, an initiative meant as a safer mode of transport. The service is operated by female drivers and serves female passengers. Safety is the name of the game, so passengers must book in advance and provide identification for the security of all parties. In addition, drivers must have a second degree diploma and speak a language in addition to Arabic. All of this is on the heels of a new law passed in 2015. People found guilty of committing sexual harassment now face at least six months in jail or fines of about 3,000 Egyptian pounds (approximately $370).
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✈
Two Cheers for the Women’s Equality Party
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merican women take notice: Your sisters across the pond are using party politics to demand equal rights. The Women’s Equality Party was launched in Britain in the fall of 2015 by writer Catherine Mayer and popular broadcaster Sandi Toksvig. With journalist Sophie Walker positioned as party leader, this political group aims to have the UK lead the world in transforming the status of women. At the top of the list of objectives is gaining equal representation in parliament, a task they assert can be achieved in two election cycles. The party is vetting nominees and will announce candidates in early 2016. Other issues on the docket are pay, parenting and caregiving, education, media treatment and ending violence against women. Their strategy is also about disruption of politics as usual, as evidenced by the following declaration: “Our focus will be clear and unambiguous, and we will not stop attracting votes from the other political parties until they embrace and adopt our agenda of equality.” The group is quick to point out this is not just about women because it’s a fact that equality for women makes everyone’s lives better. #WEstand2016
The Ultimate Feminist T-shirt
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ashion is cyclical, so it should be of no surprise that the Instagram sensation, “The Future is Female” T-shirt, is actually a repeat. Nonetheless, it’s serving its purpose as a call to action. The slogan first appeared in 1975. The original design was made for Labyris Books, the first feminist bookstore in New York City. Photographer Liza Cowan took a picture of then-girlfriend Alix Dobkin wearing the shirt. Last year Rachel Berks spotted the design on an Instagram account of “herstoric lesbian imagery.” Berks, the owner of Los Angeles’ Otherwild, reprinted the slogan. The rest, as they say, is herstory.
INFORM
✈ Pamela Paquin Revolutionizes the Fur Industry with accidental Fur, more commonly known as Roadkill
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t turns out roadkill is an easy sell, but only after Pamela Paquin gets her hands on the pelts. Paquin creates high-fashion fur pieces made from roadkill, an idea that at first garners grimaces, raised eyebrows and then, praise. The Humane Society of the United States states that millions of wild animals are struck by vehicles every year. In New York state alone about 65,000 deer are struck in each year. By comparison, 50 million animals are killed annually for their fur, Born Free USA reports. “We can all benefit if we shift to accidental fur as the industry standard. This would solve the designer’s dilemma, the industry’s dilemma. From what I’ve seen, the fur—which you can only harvest in winter—has incredible quality. It is absolutely possible, with the number of roadkill that we have currently, to replace the entire global fur industry and fur farming.” Paquin grew up around animals and spent time on a dairy farm, which helped nurture
her career of finding natural solutions to conflicting situations. As a global sustainability consultant in Denmark, Paquin focused on changing toxic practices by using nature, humanity and civilization. She mimicked natural engineering and implemented misused resources in other capacities. Paquin’s company, Petite Mort Fur, is an extension of that training. Paquin’s end game is to become the go-to supplier for ethical fur. The Petite Mort Fur team consists of a pipeline of collaborators, from highway department and animal control officers to taxidermists, wildlife specialists and hunters, who help her collect wild animals who have met an untimely or natural death. “These men are very sensible; they see the toll on the animals’ bodies and they want to help my cause. Otherwise the bodies, and it varies from town to town, either get tossed in a pit, landfill or back in the woods.”
the remains for other animals and sends the pelts to a tannery. After that, she and her seamstresses sew one-of-a-kind pieces. Each fur piece is adorned with a sterling silver badge bearing the name of the species and location of death. Products are sold at the brick and mortar store on Boston’s Newberry Street and on Etsy. Petite Mort Fur translates to “little death” in French; it’s also French slang for a woman’s temporary state after an orgasm, and that’s on purpose. “The fur and the conviction to do this came from being a mother,” says Paquin. “No one wants to drive by these animals. There’s a loving, tending connection to the work that I do.” petitemortfur.com
From there Paquin skins the animals, often in the same area that they come from, leaves
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BEING IN CONTROL HA S N EVE R B E EN M O R E E XC ITING BEING IN CONTROL HA S N EVE R B E EN M O R E E XC ITING
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*MASERATI QUATTROPORTE S Q4 BASE MSRP $102,500, NOT INCLUDING GAS GUZZLER TAX, DEALER PREP AND DESTINATION CHARGES. DEALER PRICE MAY VARY. TAXES, TITLE, REGISTRATION FEES AND ADDITIONAL OPTIONS NOT INCLUDED. ©2014 MASERATI NORTH AMERICA, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. MASERATI AND THE TRIDENT LOGO ARE REGISTERED TRADEMARKS OF MASERATI SPA. MASERATI URGES YOU TO OBEY ALL POSTED SPEED LIMITS.
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L A T O YA CANTRELL
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ew Orleans has seen floodwaters, heat waves and drunken nights, but nothing could prepare it for LaToya Cantrell—the fiery councilwoman determined to build a better Big Easy. She rose to leadership as a beacon of hope for her community when she made courageous efforts to rebuild her Broadmoor neighborhood after it surrendered to Hurricane Katrina’s floodwaters in 2005. Cantrell’s visions of hope eventually paid off when her promises of revitalization were brought to fruition with the rebuilding of schools and businesses, and the distribution of jobs. Her role as a community leader was solidified in 2012 when she was elected to the New Orleans City Council. Through her position, she spearheaded a smoke-free ordinance in the city and opened a dialogue about bridging the racial divide. Because of her work and courage to speak up, the city of New Orleans is slowly seeing the positive changes it needs to thrive, which is exactly what Councilwoman Cantrell hoped for. —Jonathan Urbina
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THINKING OF A CAREER IN POLITICS? FIND OUT IF YOU MEASURE UP TO CANTRELL’S TOP FIVE CHARACTER TRAITS. M&V: Why was it important to take action in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina? CANTRELL: What happened on August 29, 2005, pushed us all to action. My community [Broadmoor] was completely flooded and most homes were uninhabitable, so it was critical for us to stand up at a time when there were those who opposed rebuilding New Orleans. Almost from the very beginning, we were planning for the future, which included a renovated school, a health clinic, new and restored homes, a library/community center with an abundance of programs and an arts and wellness center. Today, because of that planning and commitment, we have all of those things.
B A STRONG WORK ETHIC You will need to be available all hours of the day.
M&V: What attracts you to grassroots networks? CANTRELL: That’s where the action is and that’s where you’ll find the most passion. Because it is at the community level or the neighborhood level, people are fighting for their families, friends and neighbors. I consider neighborhood organizations to be an integral part of the process, and I maintain strong relationships with these groups throughout my district.
C EMPATHY Walk a mile in someone’s shoes and you’ll find out where they are coming from and why they feel the way they do.
M&V: What actions should people take to help put an end to the gun violence plaguing our communities? CANTRELL: It cannot just be up to our government officials and our police department to deter crime. As citizens, everyone needs to participate in that process. In order to build consensus, there must be continuous dialogue about gun violence among all community members. Before we start discussing positive regulations, the first step is to examine and enforce the existing firearms laws. We then need to figure out how our police enforce those laws and support them however we can to remove illegal weapons from the streets. M&V: How do you adjust your politics as social norms shift? CANTRELL: It’s always about dealing with people with honesty and compassion. At the end of the day, most people want a safe, clean city with solid employment opportunities, affordable and high quality housing and a nurturing environment to raise their families. M&V: What social responsibilities does the next generation need to focus on? CANTRELL: We need to make sure that our growth as a society includes a place for all people. We don’t want to impede development that’s good for the city, but it is our social responsibility to promote growth through equity so that everyone can benefit from it. We must also prioritize sustainability in our communities for future generations. The conditions of our communities are changing fast, and we cannot wait for a reactive response. We must be vigilant and prepared at the grassroots level, not just for the type of disasters we know we are vulnerable to, but also for mass shootings, attacks and natural disasters that we cannot yet imagine. M&V: What advice do you have for future political leaders? CANTRELL: A political background isn’t necessary; commitment and passion are. Get out there and get involved. Join your neighborhood organization, share your ideas, listen to what others have to say and then take action.
D CONSENSUS BUILDING SKILLS It’s not about pushing your agenda forward or ignoring legitimate concerns; it’s about building agreement and taking into account all concerns and considerations. E SINCERITY Keep your promises and, if necessary, be prepared to fight for the people. F PATIENCE You will meet with many people on a daily basis. Every person deserves your respect and consideration, even when you fundamentally disagree with them.
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Business UNUSUAL
MAKING MATCHES Companies are using the digital space to help people make connections, not just in love but in multiple facets of life. By Styliana Resvanis
W h a t ’ s L o v e G o t To D o W i t h I t ? The idea of matchmaking is far from new—many have endured the “perfect” set-up from the well-intentioned friend or relative. We now turn to dating websites to connect but the Internet also provides great opportunities for people to link up outside of the romantic realm. Just like social media allows people to chat with friends across the world as if they were sipping cappuccinos at a local café, the business world is creating platforms for people to connect with other people, places and even potential pets.
FounderDating
Jessica Alter, CEO of FounderDating
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You might not find love at first sight, but your ideal business relationship could be a mouse-click away on FounderDating.com. The website, described as “LinkedIn for entrepreneurs,” is a global online network where entrepreneurs can connect with peers. Established in 2012 in San Francisco, FounderDating provides opportunities for businesspeople to share insights from past experiences and swap ideas about future endeavors; it also offers recommendations for potential advisers and co-founders based on interests and expertise. “Feeling like you have a place where you belong as an entrepreneur is really important,” says co-founder and CEO Jessica Alter. “It’s pretty lonely to be an entrepreneur at times, so knowing a community is out there is really helpful.” While anyone can join to talk shop, access to the co-founder and adviser areas requires an application. The co-founder network costs $50 annually and has a vetting process to help ensure everyone in the network means business and creates balance among skill sets, Alter says, noting 50 percent of the platform’s participants are engineers. “Finding someone you can work with day in and day out on something you’re spending 15 hours a day on is difficult. Understanding what you want in that person is a process. It is sort of like dating.”
INFORM PawsLikeMe Hunting for a high-energy running partner or a laid-back, Netflix-watching companion? PawsLikeMe.com helps people find their new best friend. The Orlando-based company, which launched nationally in September 2015, matches potential pet owners with adoptable dogs by measuring compatibility between human and canine with a personality quiz that examines energy, confidence, focus and independence. “We started to look at what quadrants were being used already to identify compatibility between people,” says co-founder and CEO Elizabeth Holmes, who has a background in technology and spent years working with a dog rescue organization before teaming up with a veterinarian and clinical social worker to create PawsLikeMe. The five-minute quiz uses an algorithm to assess how well a potential pup meshes with a person’s lifestyle through questions about habits, pet peeves, home environment and preferred dog personality traits. PawsLikeMe plans to eventually match people with feline friends, too, but for now the company is content to play matchmaker by helping hopeful pet parents find the perfect pooch. People can also use teh site to re-home a pet they can no longer keep.
Maker’s Row Maker’s Row is on a mission to connect American designers with the domestic manufacturers best suited to fashion their products, stitch by stitch. At MakersRow.com, brands can browse and tailor results using information such as location, minimum order requirements, stages of the assembly process and whether the brand is seeking a prototype or is ready to mass-produce. There is a monthly fee for brands to search for factories on the site. The site’s factory profiles feature facility photos, product samples and user reviews. “It can be difficult to find a factory that will be the right match for your sourcing wants and needs, and our site allows you to make finding that match simpler,” says co-founder and CMO Tanya Menendez about the New York-based company, which focuses on production of clothing, accessories, furniture and home décor. Users that have a free account can still create projects and take the free academy courses: sourcing 101, production 101 and building a prototype. Maker’s Row also features resources for starting a business in the U.S. and a matchmaking component that pairs a brand’s project with a factory’s capabilities. Since 2012, the company has connected 88,000 businesses with domestic manufacturers, creating more than 1.5 million products. Brands that have used Maker’s Row include Burberry and Alex and Ani. “At the end of the day, I hope brands and factories are able to develop strong, meaningful and successful partnerships through our site. Through these relationships, I hope entrepreneurs are able to make their ideas come to life,” Menendez says.
Cofounders CEO Matthew Burnett and CMO Tanya Menendez
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In the Life of HILARY ATWOOD KNIGHT Two-time Olympic silver medalist in ice hockey f o r t h e U. S . Wo m e n’s N a t i o n a l Te a m a n d i c e h o c k e y f o r w a r d f o r t h e N a t i o n a l Wo m e n’s H o c k e y L e a g u e ’s B o s t o n P r i d e
Happiness is…: Skating Residing In: Mostly out of my suitcase, but Boston is home base. Responsibilities as a Forward: To make plays, play defense and score goals. Age: 26 Work Schedule: For the professional league close to 30 Wgames per season, and then for the U.S. team we play about eight to 10 games. Usually the pro league schedule breaks for U.S. team events.
Red Bull
Another Sport You Love: Tennis Favorite Sports Moment That’s Not Yours: The 1998 U.S. Olympic Women’s Team gold medal victory and obviously Miracle on Ice.
Currently Reading: I just read the Ronda Rousey book, My Fight / Your Fight and Flash Boys: A Wall Street
Revolt by Michael Lewis.
Weakness: Wanting to do everything at once. Life Motto: “Dare to be ...” I leave the quote open-ended; depending on my mood or the day, I insert my own power word. Biggest Fan: My mom; she’s the one who would drive me to the rink and make sure that I had the appropriate instruction to succeed and pursue my passions. Nicknames: Some people call me Atty because my middle name is Atwood; Knight Train; Knighter, which is a name given to me by my teammates. Our nicknames are a collaboration and creation among our team, which is pretty cool. Work Disadvantage: We don’t work in warm places. Can we go somewhere south?
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INFORM
USA Hockey
M&V: Being on ice is your sanctuary; what does that moment feel like? KNIGHT: For people who have never been on the ice or been on the ice and all they do is fall, maybe it’s hard to imagine, but it’s a moment where you feel like you’re exactly in the right place at the exact right time. It’s that moment where I can be present. There’s no other thought. M&V: How did it all start? KNIGHT: I remember skating across the rink [in Lake Forest, Illinois]. You’re all on different levels, and when you’d skate to the other side, you’d receive buttons for passing a level. As soon as I was able to skate, meaning I had a stride and looked somewhat like a skater instead wobbling around on the ice, I got a hockey stick. When you’re skating, you’re going faster than running. I’d feel the rush of cold air come through the facemask; it was also the thrill of speeding on the ice. M&V: What struggles did you face as a young girl on the ice? KNIGHT: I overcame my fair share of bullying. Whenever you’re a girl in a male-dominated sport or all-boys team, it gets tough. There isn’t an understanding, or there isn’t a level of respect. Sometimes the parents influenced the kids; I had parents call me names and say, “Hit her!” Now, looking back, I appreciate it because it has made me work harder. It toughened me up. Who are they to say you can’t do something? Why shouldn’t you achieve whatever your heart desires? M&V: Now that you’re the face of women’s hockey, what’s your message for the next generation? KNIGHT: If you truly believe in something and you work hard, there’s no limit to what you can achieve. Right now is really an exciting time to be part of hockey. There are a lot more all-girls leagues and hockey is the fastest growing sport. The [2015-2016] launch of the National Women’s Hockey League gives us a good benchmark on the women’s side, being paid as professionals and being paid for our skill set. M&V: You tore the same MCL before the 2010 and the 2014 Olympics. How did you recover so quickly? KNIGHT: It’s not necessarily recovering. It’s more about making sure that the muscles are strong enough to hold the knee in place. The first time I tore my MCL, it was more severe, and it was my first Olympics. But if anything, it was more mental. How to get your confidence back? That was tough. The second time I was prepared. I knew I could do this. I said, “Just give me a new brace and we’re good.” I also had a hip injury. I’m always looking for an alternative on the edge for recovery in a safe way. I’m into acupuncture, fire cupping, air compression, dry needling. M&V: Are you already mentally and physically preparing yourself for the 2018 Winter Olympic Games? KNIGHT: After the last Olympics, I had to ask myself, “Do I want to do something else or do I want to return to the Olympics? Do I want to spend four years training every day?” It was a big decision. Am I going to be all in? I came to a decision—absolutely! So, the short answer: I started training for 2018 a long time ago. M&V: What is the best perk of your career? KNIGHT: Traveling the world and meeting wonderful people. Not celebrities; just average people who go about their daily lives, and finding inspiration in what they do. For example, I went over to Belarus with the U.S. Embassy a couple of years ago, and I met some unreal individuals over there. It totally changed the way that I look at that part of the world. M&V: What’s the best thing about being on a team, and being in the women’s hockey environment? KNIGHT: It’s sweet; it’s unreal. Being part of a team means you have an immediate family. Everyone is there to push you, to make you a better person, and you’re also there to make them better people. When everyone comes together, it’s an amazing collaborative effort. Then there are so many super fun times. I really miss it when I’m away from the team. They are my second family.
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PA L M B E A C H P L A S T I C S U R G E R Y. C O M
NURTURE “Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s the one and only thing you have to offer.”
Barbara Kingsolver
Project ME
C AR VE O U T T I M E for
YOURSELF
p roduc ts for
SELF-CARE By Jodi Belden
Stowaway Cosmetics Stowaway Cosmetics is the brainchild of Julie Fredrickson, an established entrepreneur, and Chelsa Crowley, an experienced beauty and fashion stylist. As high-powered workingwomen with lives on the go, they couldn’t understand why the beauty industry had done such an awesome job in every category except one: high-quality products that can go anywhere and are easy to travel with. The emphasis on safe ingredients was also a huge factor in creating the line, which is paraben-, phthalateand cruelty-free. Don’t think this is one of those novelty brands relying heavily on gimmicks as selling points. The Radiant Complexion Beauty Balm Cream, with hyaluronic acid and glycerin for smoothing texture and strengthening elasticity, proves good things do come in small packages. stowawaycosmetics.com
Romeo Delivers Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Anne Lopez knows because her business turns regular Joes into Romeos every day. Ever the optimistic romantic, Lopez believes all men are capable of being creative and unique in the romance department. They just need a little help. Romeo Delivers started as a membership site for men to choose from a selection of gifts and date ideas to spice up their relationships. The idea was well received by Lopez’s male clientele, but they didn’t want to divulge their secret to friends who wondered how they had the time to be so thoughtful and clever. Once Lopez realized that this business model wouldn’t lend itself to the word-ofmouth publicity she was hoping for, she switched gears. Now it functions as an e-commerce website open to anyone wanting to share some love with the people they love. The wildly popular Bucket List series has done so well that Anthropologie took notice and now sells out of the Date, Family Fun and Breakup Survival themed kits. Lopez credits her approach to developing products with language that real people use, including profanity, which is f*&#ing cool. romeodelivers.com
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Calendly Have you ever been so knee-deep in an email chain that you forgot what the request was in the first place? If you are starting a small business or have dreams of growing a more successful company, you can benefit from calendly.com. The simple scheduling software makes communicating with customers quick and effective so that you can focus on the service at hand. The beautiful and modern design allows clients and business owners to get exactly what they need without the hassle of back and forth emails or phone tag. The program checks your Google, Office 365 and Outlook calendars for conflicts, is fully integrated for all devices and even has email notifications on both sides so all parties involved get friendly reminders. New accounts can enjoy a free premium 14-day trial (after that pay just $8 per user annually or $10 monthly) or try the basic membership, which is free. calendly.com
Hudson Made The Hudson Valley is home to Saratoga Springs, which in the 1800s attracted a vast number of Americans looking to cure what ailed them with the local mineral waters, while relaxing in all of nature’s glory. Now overworked and overstimulated, city dwellers are flocking to this area about three hours outside of New York City for the same reason. Hudson Made, an artisanal company located in Andes, New York, firmly believes that the craftsmanship and story behind a product is just as important as its purpose. Their back-to-basics approach has created quite a reputation for their regionally made soaps, oils, grooming accessories, kitchen supplies and leather goods. Strong supporters of the local economy, they produce and sell goods sourced from people they know and trust within 200 miles of the Hudson Valley area. Exceptions are made for vendors outside this radius if they share Hudson Made’s values and standards, because while this community is close knit, they’re not closed-minded. hudsonmadeny.com
PaperLove Boutique The importance of a handwritten note is not lost on Susanna Young. In fact, she created a business and a life around that principle. Young launched PaperLove Boutique, an online greeting card company, with the sole purpose of conjuring laughter and love in those who give and receive the cards. As a Kiwi living in Los Angeles with her husband and two teenage boys, Young embraces all things girly and fantastical. Her cards are hand-glittered and hilarious. Her online gallery is packed full of her wit and charming zingers like, “The only thing I throwback on a Thursday is a margarita!” All cards are printed on Forest Stewardship Council-certified paper, which plants one tree for every one tree used, packaged in biodegradable sleeves and printed locally in Santa Monica. The company’s motto is, “Inspiring you to send a card, not just a text,” but a close second is “You should never underestimate the power of glitter.” paperloveboutique.com
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D.C. Energy Photography by Emma McAlary
Virginia Arrisue単o, owner and designer of knitwear line DeNada, hosted an intimate lunch to debut her fall/winter collection.
NURTURE
I
n a town that oozes politics from every nook and cranny, the Capital City is also a breeding ground for creativity. So it’s no wonder that D.C. is Virginia Arrisueño’s home turf. Owner and designer of DeNada, a covetable knit line inspired by her Peruvian heritage, Arrisueño lives in the city with her husband artist Kelly Towles and their four-year-old son. When it was time to celebrate her autumn/winter 2015 collection, Arrisueño naturally thought outside the box, gathering fellow D.C. creatives with an appreciation for the handmade in an intimate atmosphere, rather than a hyped-up unveiling. “I wanted to share the collection with them in a genuine environment,” explains Arrisueño, who introduced DeNada in 2009. “I hoped for the launch to communicate my Peruvian values of hospitality, authenticity and friendship in an atmosphere that encouraged genuine conversation and thoughtfulness.” “The guest list was created with design in mind, and the guests are creatives, who share my love of design [and] who I admire for their career-related and artistic endeavors.” Some of the guests in attendance were Tamon George, Alex Elle, Meg Biram, Gary Williams, Morgan Hungerford West and Desiree Venn Frederic, all from the D.C. community. Arrisueño’s accessories line includes knitted scarves, shawls, ponchos, hats, gloves and cowls. Artisans in Peru capture the inspiration and feeling behind the knitwear, handcrafting each piece using an alpaca blend for the highest quality. For the latest collection the designer focused on creating texture through the use of skip stitch, drop stitch and fringe in the different knit designs. “The colors of the collection are more subdued than previous collections, which is more fitting to who I am, and also the pieces are more suitable to both males and females. I wanted to focus on classic tones that will still be as wearable 10 years from now as they are today.” M A N D V M A G . C O M M&V
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Gatherings
Ever the team player, Arrisueño sought to embrace collaboration by working with fellow D.C. companies: Sally’s Middle Name provided the food, Tipple Supply Co. the drinks, Taffy Floral the foliage, and Dinner Curated the overall event production. The lunch took place at the DeNada workplace and showroom, located in a 100-year-old building, once the home of Decca Records, which recorded Louis Armstrong and Billie Holiday.
The day was organized by Alison Beshai of Dinner Curated, who brought forth a simplistic yet wholesome party experience. Beshai’s focal point was the existing long wooden table. She brought a touch of color through Threshold’s Kingsland Stoneware dinner plates and Arkita flatware. Custom printed napkins by Sea Heart City Press—a signature Beshai move—made it personal for everyone involved in the event. “I love for [companies] to get exposure, and the hashtags are a subtle way of letting people know who to acknowledge when they post photos without being obnoxious or overly intentional,” says Beshai.
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When floral and prop artist Michelle Samson of Taffy Floral began prep work for the event’s wall installation and centerpiece, she took notice of the space’s natural elements—wood floors, window ceiling and original brick walls, and the brand’s juxtaposition of different elements—contemporary, ethnic and textured. “The concept, ‘beautiful strange,’ is a composition of natural, organic elements combined with Japanese-inspired, ikebana-style design elements,” says Samson. The hanging amaranthus and Spanish moss bring moodiness to the composition, while the florals—aubergine anthurium, poppy pods and scabiosa pods—have atypical feminine shapes and texture.
Gatherings
In short, Sally’s Middle Name is “ingredient driven, community conscious, and f***ing delicious,” says Aphra Adkins of the D.C. restaurant that prepared the day’s dishes. Adkins, with head chef and husband Sam Adkins, prepared hearty dishes with robust and flavorful vegetables to complement the studio’s warm atmosphere. “The intimacy of the event lent itself to the idea of community through food,” says Adkins. Tipple Supply Co., which makes and delivers pre-mixed cocktails and launches this year, provided two drinks: Hay Fever and Unmarked Doors.
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NURTURE The Menu Georgia Candy Squash Risotto • • • • • • • • • • • •
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil ½ cup diced yellow onion 2 cups Carnaroli rice 1 cup white wine 7 cups hot vegetable stock ¾ cup roasted Georgia Candy Squash or other fall squash ¼ cup cooked northern or cranberry beans 1 teaspoon of roasted garlic paste ¼ cup cooked corn kernels 2 tablespoons of chopped Italian parsley 1 cup grated Parmesan cheese 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
Heat oil on medium heat in a non-reactive pot. Add onion and sauté until translucent. Add rice and sauté for 3-4 minutes. Add white wine stir consistenly until reduced by half. Add hot stock, a third at a time, continually stirring. Add squash, beans, garlic paste and corn with the last addition of stock. Cook down the liquid and add parsley, Parmesan and butter. Season with salt and pepper. Serve with some more grated Parmesan on top.
Shaved Broccoli Salad • • • • • • •
2 heads of broccoli 1 Fuji apple 1 small red onion Juice of 1 lemon ¼ cup chopped pickled onions ½ cup grated Parmesan cheese ½ cup of extra-virgin olive oil
Using a mandoline slicer, thinly slice broccoli, apple and red onion into a bowl. Add lemon juice, salt, chopped pickled onions, black pepper, Parmesan cheese and olive oil. Add salt and pepper to taste.
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Ask Dr. Ramani Q
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My oldest daughter started college this year at a very good university that offers students so many incredible opportunities beyond academics. I was hoping she would take interest in some of the organizations dealing with social justice issues and community involvement. Unfortunately, when she calls home I mostly hear about her social life. I suggested she look into specific groups that are doing some wonderful education and organizing but she isn’t interested. I’m helping her pay tuition and other costs, so I think it’s my right to be involved. She says she is in college, so I should let her be. Who’s right?
College yields many gifts—education, opportunity and relationships—and within those four years, your daughter is likely to have rich experiences with all three. Since you are paying her tuition, it is acceptable for you to say that you expect minimum levels of academic performance. However, your ability to dictate how she spends her time undercuts her opportunity to regulate her interests and balance her schedule. It is important that she choose activities that are meaningful to her. The social elements of college, which involve making new friends, meeting different people and learning new perspectives, are critical college experiences. In fact, many people report that their closest and most valued lifelong friendships originated in their college years. At this time in your daughter’s life, she is influenced more by her peers than her parents. Hopefully, she is meeting friends with varied interests who will open her up to new opportunities. Adolescents can be contrarian by nature, so a great way to ensure that she will never explore your recommended activities is to keep encouraging her to do so. I recommend that you take a step back to listen and revel in her new adventures, social and otherwise.
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Q A
Q A
Q
I am in my early 40s and have suffered from back pain for the last 20 years. I have seen numerous doctors and tried a number of different therapies, from steroids to chiropractic visits, without much success. Recently a friend told me that back pain could be from emotional factors. As a psychologist, have you encountered patients with back pain due to emotional factors? Is this a possibility? If yes, what kind of doctor do I need to see? Psychological factors can worsen pain and heighten sensitivity to pain. People who report higher levels of stress, anxiety, depression and overall psychological distress often report having higher levels of pain. You may be suffering from a circular relationship with pain, where the sensation of pain causes psychological distress, which then magnifies the sensation of pain. It is critical that you get all medical and physical causes ruled out. If physical examinations are revealing no obvious physiological cause for your pain, then yes, it could be that psychological discomfort is contributing to your physical pain. I suggest you contact a pain program at a local hospital; they will have psychologists with expertise in working with patients who are managing pain issues that have a strong psychological component. Techniques including psychotherapy, relaxation, meditation, muscle relaxation and emotional disclosure are all useful in managing the psychology of pain.
A
My husband and I have hosted another couple in our home countless times over the years for cookouts, cocktail parties and holidays. If we are entertaining, we always invite them because I consider them among our best friends. They also entertain at their home but it seems their invite policy is different from ours. We get invited about 50 percent of the time. I should appreciate the invitations but I find myself wondering why we aren’t included the way we include them? Am I out of line for thinking this way? My husband says to just let it go. Invitations, like gifts, are best given without any anticipation of return. You should issue an invitation because you want to share your hospitality and give a gift because it gives you pleasure. You do not understand their motivations for not always issuing you an invitation. They may be making some assumptions about whether you would be interested in these events or their budget may be a factor, or some events may solely involve family. If you can’t accept it, then ask them. You are certainly within your rights to inquire about why you are not always invited. One question would be whether others invited to those events are in the same social circle as you. Be sure to tread lightly, because such a question may also leave them feeling obligated to issue an invitation. The only thing worse than not being invited is being invited because they feel like they owe you. This current pattern may result in you having some hurt feelings, but if your friendship with them is healthy and enhances your life, you may want to heed your husband’s simple wisdom and let it go.
I was recently hired at a new company and realize that my new job is way beyond my skill set. I talked a good game to get this well-paying job, assuming I could figure things out if I landed the position. But now I’ve got the job and I think I’m in way over my head. Do I admit my predicament to my boss? Do I just quit and save myself the embarrassment? I wonder if your reflection of yourself is true. People often sell themselves short, and fear of embarrassment holds many people back from learning their full potential. While talking a good game is only half of the game, you did have the skills to do that. Sit back and reflect on whether you can put in the late nights and weekends and shore up the holes in your knowledge and skill set. You may also want to view your boss as a mentor rather than an enforcer. Ask for her assessment of your performance thus far, as well as asking about whether there are any opportunities to build up your skills. Do not tell her that you are worried you’re in over your head. Use her feedback to inform your decision-making. View this as a challenge. If you don’t measure up, they will let you know. Until then give it the full-court press before you give up on your abilities. You may surprise yourself.
Dr. Ramani Durvasula is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Santa Monica, California, and professor of psychology at California State University, Los Angeles, where she was named outstanding professor in 2012. She is the author of You Are WHY You Eat: Change Your Food Attitude, Change Your Life and Should I Stay or Should I Go? Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist.
Submit your questions to editorial@magazinemv.com.
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Growing pains
Controlling Our Influence On—And For—Our Children By Shani Gilchrist
O
ne cool, spring day last year, a friend whose children are grown and out of the house showed up on my doorstep demanding to come in. She knew I’d been reeling and stressed out from a work project while maintaining order for the kids during my husband’s prolonged trip for work.
Back then I had a large, dedicated office in our home. Every morning, the act of closing my office’s unusually narrow double doors sent a signal to my compartmentalized brain that it was time to forget about the house chores that never quite go away and focus only on my work. But with Aaron out of town and two very active little boys, I was exhausted and overspent. As I kept our chaotic and cheerful routine, I continued to—or tried to—influence the way they interacted with the world by enveloping them in stable positivity. However, I started to ignore the cues that said I should try to leave the house more than every three days. When my friend showed up she was determined to share some wisdom that would snap me out of it. “All right, Shani,” she said as she pressed her clear and polished fingertips together. “Write down how many hours there are in a day.” 24, I scrawled. “Now subtract the number of hours you sleep at night from that.” I came up with 18 hours. Then we added up the number of hours spent taking care of the kids, running errands, running damage control, chores, etc. We calculated that li’l ol’ me needed 37 and ½ hours to perform the necessary daily tasks for my work and family. Being the lone variable in that computation equals impending disaster. No time for much-needed emotional support, delegation and self-care also play a part in that impending disaster. This problem didn’t suddenly manifest itself during those two-anda-half weeks on my own, but it was certainly magnified. And it is a problem that affects all mothers, whether they’re married, single, working or at home. In the thick of it, we miss the cues that tell us
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to stop and adjust before too much stress rubs off on those little pantomiming mimics we call our children. Luckily for me, one of those cues finally barged through my front door, demanding a glass of rosé in an assertive Southern drawl and forcing me to snap out of it before the kids noticed a change in temperament. There are so many days when kids see their parents with uncomfortably set jaws and steely—sometimes even scowling—expressions as they pore over Filofaxes or smartphone screens. It’s a constant and fruitless battle with time. When I look at my most basic reasons for this, I usually mumble something about wanting my sons to see their mother as a dynamic human. I want them to know that in addition to being their mother, I’m a woman who has goals that are just for me. I’m active and ambitious when it comes to reaching those goals, and when I reach one I immediately set a new and higher one. If they see me succeed, I’m influencing their attitudes toward achievement. I am Shani. I am Mom. I can do anything, and I can do it all the time. Rawr. A few weeks after moving to Charleston, South Carolina, I realized I’d forgotten the lesson I learned from trying to cram 37 and ½ hours into a 24-hour day. I’d applied such acute focus to transitioning the kids to a new environment that I failed to consider my own transitional needs. In some ways I have a stereotypical writer’s temperament—sensitive to my environment and a strong need for routine. Up until now I’ve had rituals in place—some as simple as closing those office doors in our old house—that were a blueprint for my well-being. Our new home—while an upgrade in many ways—doesn’t have a sensible office space. I still can’t figure out which light switch is for the balcony and which turns on the fixture above the kitchen island. I’m still trying to find the best way to arrange my shoes in the bedroom closet! I recently found myself faced with another bout of Aaron’s work-related travel, immediately followed by a rapid succession of personally difficult news and events. Without having taken the time to
NURTURE “In the thick of it, we miss the cues
that tell us to stop and adjust before too much stress rubs off on those little pantomiming mimics we call our children.”
find a daily blueprint or don a proverbial life vest, I had a Mommy meltdown or two (or three?) in front of my boys. Instead of using my influence to infuse my children with resilience, I was infusing them with the anxiety I’d allowed myself to give in to, and it didn’t take long for the prolonged stress to be mirrored back. Jack, my intensely conscientious third-grader, had forgotten a certain homework task for three days in a row, so a note was sent home from school. As I was floating out of an inadequate slumber one morning, I overheard a heated exchange between Jack and my husband. Jack had either forgotten or failed to show us the note, which Aaron found when it fell out of Jack’s backpack as he tried to evade questions about his unusually sullen mood. Our sensitive child immediately started shedding quiet, angry, defensive tears. As I listened, I was forced to come to terms with the fact that at the peak of Jack’s anxieties, his reaction was to repeat the words (verbatim!) and actions he’d caught me acting out after I’d received another round of disappointing news a couple of days before. He’d always been upfront about his mistakes, but now he was mimicking my patterns of stress, which I’d argue were being
mimicked involuntarily, because no one actually wants to go there. Not even a boy who still (inexplicably) tells people that his mom is super-cool. We can use the power of our influence to rally behind charitable causes or to make positive change at work for employees and colleagues, but none of that counts if it isn’t carried forward by the generations after us. Our kids don’t understand TED Talks, white papers, and inequality reports because that isn’t their job. Their job is simple—to make emotional and cognitive connections through playful interactions with adults and children and to learn from the adults around them. The latter gives added importance to a grown-up’s responsibility for self-care, because the more respect we show for ourselves and our human processes, the more we will influence our children to repeat our behavior. Shani Gilchrist is a critic, essayist and freelance journalist, exploring the arts and issues around race and culture while roaming the Charleston peninsula with her husband and two sons. When she has spare time, she enjoys horses, discovering new restaurants and dabbling in photography. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @shanirgilchrist.
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TEXTBOX
INFLUENCE
AMERICA’S MOST PASSIONATE STORYTELLER,
SOLEDAD O’BRIEN
IS EMPOWERING A NATION THROUGH THE POWER OF CONSTRUCTIVE JOURNALISM. By Merin Rogers Photography by Norman Nelson
INFLUENCE
S
oledad O’Brien’s recipe for success is this: hire smart, passionate people. As the chairwoman of one of the most cutting-edge, 360-degree production companies, she is intelligent and passionate in her own right. She is strong and confident, and speaks with a calm clarity and assuredness—not surprising for a graduate of Harvard, NBC and CNN who is used to being on camera. She also has a sense of humor. “I have four kids,” she laughs, “so I learned early on that mistakes are not a bad thing—mistakes are how you grow and learn.” This year, the award-winning journalist, documentarian, news anchor and producer added yet another line to her resume: the triumphant second anniversary of her New York City-based Starfish Media Group (SMG). “I had been thinking a couple of years before I left CNN of starting my own thing, because I was very interested in telling specific kinds of stories—about people trying to figure out the world they’re in, diversity, incarceration, big important issues in America. That was the genesis—the opportunity to tell these stories.” With SMG, O’Brien has done just that—giving voices to Americans not otherwise reflected in the news: men overlooked for medals of honor, veterans coping with depression and suicide, a young woman hoping to become the first black chess master, a transgender Filipino model and a Native American who returns to the Navajo. But it was a series of documentaries that looked at the Latino and black communities in America beyond the stereotypes that solidified SMG’s role in the journalism world.
Outside of immigration, O’Brien says, the Latino community has not gotten the coverage or attention it deserves. To fill the void, she developed Latino in America (2009), which followed in the footsteps of Black in America (2008)—O’Brien’s long-running documentary series on CNN, which has also been developed into an event program, and picks up again in February. In Latino in America, one subset explores ‘the Garcias,’ the eighth most popular last name in the country. This past September, O’Brien launched “I Am Latino in America,” a national lecture tour to discuss voting issues, the economy and education as they relate to Latino Americans. “If you looked at the kind of storytelling that was happening around African-Americans, it was mostly around sports and crime. The nuance in people’s lives was missing completely. There were stories to tell—and that’s what we learned.” Though both projects have received critical acclaim, the development process was not without its obstacles. “People were concerned that doing stories on blacks would alienate whites,” she explains. “What we discovered was not only did it grow our African-American audience, it grew our white audience, because it was such a different kind of content and the storytelling was so authentic.” When asked if she ever has stories cross her desk that she wants to tell, but for whatever reason can’t, O’Brien laughs again—only this time it’s mixed with a sigh, and a raw sort of softness emerges. She talks about funding and viability, and how you can have lots of ideas but can’t make them all a reality. Without the right sponsors backing a project, or the right networks where a story will live, ideas can be lost in the shuffle of hundreds of others that come through her door at SMG. But just before painting a picture of how cutthroat and gritty media can be, she turns her tune to one that is fiercely positive. It is no wonder O’Brien has succeeded in this business—she doesn’t skip a single beat.
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Feature Soledad O’Brien
“It is very easy to look at media as the glass half full,” she snaps back. “Success is in saying, ‘Let me embrace those things that are incredible and really great opportunities,’ and not thinking of things in terms of being obstacles, and then saying, ‘What do I really want to do?’ If you want to be an editor, start editing and practice all the time. Set goals for yourself. If you want to be a writer, then write—every single day. Write, write, write, and then show it to someone and say, ‘Can you give me your honest feedback please?’ But you can’t just sit around and talk about it. You just have to do it.” It’s apparent that O’Brien is a figure-it-out and get-it-done type of person. She attributes this to her parents—both of them immigrants, her mother is originally from Cuba and her father from Australia—and how they were deeply supportive of whatever she and her siblings wanted to do. O’Brien is one of six children with successful careers. There’s a law professor, two doctors, a corporate lawyer, a businessman and a journalist. If that wasn’t impressive enough, they all attended Harvard University. It’s this familial support system and a firsthand understanding of how positive reinforcement yields positive results that inspired O’Brien to create the Soledad O’Brien and Brad Raymond Starfish Foundation, a nonprofit providing the financial aid and emotional support necessary to get at-risk women and girls not just to but through college.
“I grew up in a solidly middle class family,” she says, “and they told me, if I wanted something, to go figure it out.” When she was two, O’Brien began horseback riding. As she got older, she paid for her lessons by mucking the stalls. Again, this was her parents saying, “If you want it, it’s doable, just do it.” To this day, she loves riding, in large part because it is not a sport where one can multitask—something, she admits, is a bit of a talent. O’Brien has been
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In her downtime (an almost laughable concept for someone as busy as O’Brien, who obviously accomplishes more in a day than seems humanly possible), she devours Corner Office—The New York Times column about leadership and management by Adam Bryant—stealing tips on how to think about staffing, how to inspire employees, and often, simply, how to get her head around an issue. The biggest thing she’s learned is that no matter the size of a company, everyone seems to be dealing with the same problems, just at different levels.
“My parents were great at the idea that you should be passionate about what you do, and if at some point you identify that it’s not for you, then great—know that and move on.”
“My parents gave us a sense that whatever we decided, they were going to be there. Many of the young women we deal with in Starfish come out of homes where they were not supported, and I look at these young women and we try to fill in that gap. It’s hard to feel confident if you don’t have people around you saying, ‘You’re going to be amazing.’” With Starfish, O’Brien and her team focus on mentoring, developing life skills, career-readiness and network building—sending 25 scholars to college each year.
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known to read emails while jogging outdoors. On a horse, she says, you need to focus on what you are doing and nothing else. If you don’t, you’re dead. “It is a blessing and a curse that my head is always running.”
She circles back to her upbringing. “My parents were great at the idea that you should be passionate about what you do, and if at some point you identify that it’s not for you, then great—know that and move on.” For O’Brien, the moment came when she was in college, studying organic chemistry as part of her pre-med major. She left Harvard before she graduated and returned later on in her career to finish her degree. “I just decided one day that I wasn’t into it—I wasn’t passionate about it. So I started working at a TV station,” she says. “That is the $64,000 question of life: What are the things that you value the most, and how do you focus on them?”
Passion is important to O’Brien, and the word is repeated many times in her interview. When she talks about her team at SMG, she says she’s gotten better at hiring because she has learned that you can teach skills but you can’t teach passion—and you can’t teach someone to think outside of themselves, or to be a part of a team. “Building a team is one of the biggest challenges in leadership. It’s a test of a true leader—what kind of team you can build. It’s a hard thing to do.” To her credit, it is something she’s proven to do very well. SMG is a small company that produces big works. “We’re very tight,” she says, “and they all are first class in their quality—it’s breathtaking. And it helps when you’re passionate, so it never feels like a job. I still feel lucky that I get to tell these stories.”
THE INFLUENCERS What do the following eight women have in common? A combination of vision, determination, talent and the ability to influence the world around them. They are making waves in industries important to your life and the lives of others. They inform, entertain, innovate and push the boundaries of what is possible.
TIFFANY DUFU There is a perfect adjective to describe Tiffany Dufu: indefatigable. Remember that one from SAT prep? Determined, unrelenting, all in. Since she was 11 years old and a Sunday school teacher admonished her for leading prayer among her classmates (a boy’s job she was told), Dufu has been steadfastly working to advance the rights of women and girls. “It was a very defining moment because it was the first time that someone told me I couldn’t do something because I was a girl,” Dufu says. Several years later, after her parents’ divorce, Dufu watched as her mother was left in poverty, an experience shared by millions of women and an important life lesson for her. “All of the political, social and economic capital that I assumed were our family’s, I realized only belonged to my dad. The capital belongs to the person who is working outside the house.” By the time she graduated from college, Dufu was hell-bent on changing the world for women and girls. As a development professional, she raised millions of dollars for Seattle Girls’ School, Simmons College and then The White House Project, an organization founded by Marie Wilson that builds the leadership of women in politics and business. After three years as president of The White House Project, Dufu turned her attention to Levo, the “career co-pilot” for millennial women. As Chief Leadership Officer at Levo, the unwavering advocate is now invested in the next generation of women by ensuring they have a network behind them to succeed. She is also among an extraordinary group of peers as a Launch Team member of Lean In. And she will continue to work for change, because it’s not enough to have a few token women leaders moving up the ladder. “It’s normalizing women’s leadership that allows women leaders to really thrive,” Dufu says. “It’s trying to get to a world where it doesn’t matter so much that she’s a woman. Ultimately, it’s our culture. There needs to be a shift in our mindset about what women can do and men can do to change it.”
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INFLUENCE
JESSICA JACKLEY Since launching Kiva, a pioneering microlending site in 2005, this enterprising 30-something has combined technology, social good and the principles of investment to ensure entrepreneurs everywhere have the opportunity to start or grow their businesses. Kiva allows users to choose individuals to lend money to; as few as $25, but a little goes a long way in many parts of the world. Loans are repaid to the lender, and money returned to their Kiva account where they can withdraw the money or lend to someone else. Kiva has given over $700 million in loans from more than 1 million lenders in the past 10 years. Perhaps the biggest wow factor is the 98.45 percent repayment rate on those loans. Jackley admits that when she was growing up she had discomfort and guilt around the poor in the world. Her aha moment came when she heard Grameen Bank founder Dr. Muhammad Yunus speak about microfinance and tell a TED Talks audience stories about the poor that were different from any stories she had heard before. “He was talking about strong, smart, hardworking entrepreneurs who woke up every day and were doing things to make their lives and their family’s lives better. All they needed to do that more quickly and to do it better was a little bit of capital. It was an amazing insight for me,” says Jackley, who remains involved with the organization as an adviser and did not have a background in finance when she cofounded Kiva. She returned to school and earned an MBA from the Stanford Graduate School of Business in 2007. That same year she created ProFounder, an early crowdfunding platform to help U.S. startups raise capital. Jackley’s first book, Clay Water Brick: Finding Inspiration from Entrepreneurs Who Do the Most with the Least, was released in 2015. She continues to retell the story of the world’s poor, discarding the notion that people are looking for handouts and replacing it with the more accurate narrative that individuals want to create opportunity for themselves and their families. “My mission statement for my career has been a constant work in progress, but for quite a while now it has been this: to love others and inspire hope by championing the entrepreneurial spirit that exists in all of us.”
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LAVANYA AND MELISSA JAWAHARLAL
Excite. Engage. Excel. Those are the words sisters Lavanya and Melissa Jawaharlal chose to define the mission of STEM Center USA, the company they created in 2011 to inspire the next generation of STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) leaders and to share their own passion for the STEM fields with other students. That’s right. Other students. The Jawaharlals were both attending college when they founded STEM Center USA. Older sister Melissa, who serves as CEO, graduated from University of Southern California in 2011 with a bachelor’s in mechanical engineering, earned through a full merit scholarship. Prior to starting STEM Center USA, she worked at Raytheon Space and Airborne Systems and served as design lead for two currently orbiting satellites while at the Information Sciences Institute. Lavanya, the company’s president, will complete her final year at UC Berkeley this spring, earning a bachelor’s in mechanical engineering and ocean engineering. She too had extracurricular activities that leave your jaw on the floor, including work as a research assistant at her college’s Theoretical and Applied Fluid Dynamics Laboratory and presenting at numerous conferences. Stem Center USA, designed as a supplementary education program, has a creativity center based in Pomona, California. Students from age five to college can engage with STEM through a hands-on curriculum that exposes them to a wide variety of skills and concepts. The center provides enrichment activities through after-school programs. The business is a prototype for the Jawaharlals, who have plans to expand with franchised centers around the country. At the end of 2015, they made an appearance on Shark Tank, walking away with $200,000 in capital and Lori Greiner as a shareholder and mentor. During their appearance, Lavanya explained the importance of getting children interested in STEM early on: “Just how the ABCs are the basis of communication, engineering and technology are the foundation of our modern life.” Her sister added, “While we have become more dependent on technology every day, fewer and fewer people seem to have even a basic understanding of how things work.” The sisters also stress the importance of maintaining kids’ interest through middle and high school. To that end, the Jawaharlals created a product line of robotic tools geared toward middle and high school students and are launching a product line called Fiat Luxe Wearable Electronics Education Kit. These young women understand where the world is headed and we will be watching as they take the lead.
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INFLUENCE
BRENÉ BROWN
Chances are you’ve watched at least one of Brené Brown’s TED Talks, or read one of her books, or caught one of her sit-downs with Oprah on Super Soul Sunday. Maybe you’ve even joined her online learning community or participated in a workshop. You’re not alone. Millions of people look to Brown for her remarkable wisdom on issues like worthiness, shame, empathy and vulnerability. It is her candor and willingness to talk about uncomfortable topics that draw people in. Her wit, authenticity and likability factor are bonuses.
As a thought leader, Brown is moving individuals, families, organizations and communities to have courageous conversations. She is exposing people everywhere to new ways of thinking; like the idea that vulnerability is not weakness but is instead our most accurate measure of courage. In her new book, Rising Strong, she encourages us to own our stories of struggle and failure, to “lean into discomfort” over hiding and pretending, and to get to a place of truth and power.
Felix Sanchez
Brown, who has a Ph.D. in social work and is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, has been studying these sticky subjects for 13 years. Her TED Talk, The Power of Vulnerability, in 2010 catapulted her into the national spotlight. In that talk, she explained her motivation: “I am interested in some messy topics. But I want to be able to make them not messy. I want to understand them. I want to hack into these things that I know are important and lay the code out for everyone to see.” This poignant talk has accumulated close to 23 million views and put her in high demand as a speaker, or “storyteller” as she names it.
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Feature THE INFLUENCERS
ZANNY MINTON BEDDOES
Since its creation in 1843, The Economist has engaged in “a severe contest between intelligence, which presses forward, and an unworthy, timid ignorance obstructing our progress.” These are the words of its founding editor, James Wilson, and words that Zanny Minton Beddoes, appointed in early 2015 as the new editor in chief, must follow to push forward the newspaper’s heritage of editorial and commercial independence. Those are lofty goals but if anyone can achieve them, it is this first female editor of The Economist, who joined the publication in 1994. Before rising to EIC, she was first the economics editor, overseeing the newspaper’s global economics coverage, and later the business affairs editor, responsible for the coverage of business, finance and science. With a few exceptions, there have not been many female editors in chief of top newspapers in the world. Minton Beddoes’ appointment is a big deal. (The New York Times and France’s Le Monde are some of the few newspapers that have had female editors in chief in the past.) A formally trained economist from Harvard, she will use her knowledge, experience and expertise to drive the newspaper’s success in an ever-changing, hybrid print and digital age. With more than 1.5 million readers, Minton Beddoes has quite a lot of people to keep satisfied. In addition to dealing with digital media commodities (video, social, competition and time), pressure also arises in regards to increasing the newspaper’s female readership; about 13 percent of Economist subscribers are female. Nevertheless, Minton Beddoes looks forward to the challenges. “I think we are a newspaper for the globally curious, who care about the world and who are curious about what lies ahead,” said Minton Beddoes while on Bloomberg’s Charlie Rose, “and at a time like this, with massive technological change and globalization, I think there are ever more people who are globally curious. It is an incredibly exciting time to be doing what we are doing.”
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INFLUENCE
LEA SALONGA The current Broadway season is being labeled a big win for diversity, and Tony award-winning actress Lea Salonga is front and center. Starring opposite George Takei, of Star Trek fame, Salonga is lighting up the stage in Allegiance, a musical based on Takei’s experience in a Japanese-American internment camp during World War II. Salonga made her industry debut as a young child in the Philippines and quickly rose to the top. By age 18, she was starring in the original cast of Miss Saigon in London and on Broadway, showing her extraordinary talent in the role of Kim, a part that earned her a Tony Award—the first given to an actress of Asian descent. She continued to be a pioneer as the first Asian actress to play the roles of Éponine and then Fantine in Les Misérables on Broadway. And the credits don’t end there. Salonga went on to provide the singing voice for two Disney princesses—Jasmine and Mulan.
Salonga, who is taking a break as a judge on The Voice of the Philippines while on Broadway, hopes that more people come to see Allegiance, “… if only to see what happens when we allow xenophobia, war hysteria and a lack of political leadership to rule.” The musical is part of a groundbreaking Broadway season in terms of racial diversity of casts and story lines. Salonga is grateful to the producing team on Allegiance (and by extension, those of Hamilton, On Your Feet, the new revival of Spring Awakening and The Color Purple) for taking risks and putting their “might and money” behind the show. Is this a trend that will continue? Salonga expresses, “In an ideal world, the seasons that follow this one will be as diverse in terms of stories being told, styles of music being played and actors that are being hired.”
Raymund Isaac
There is much to be said about Allegiance landing on Broadway at this moment in time, when immigration is such a hot button issue. Salonga says, “No one on the show—cast, creatives or crew— ever thought that Allegiance would be as relevant as it’s turning out to be. Our show casts light on a dark part of American history, one that woefully wasn’t spoken of extensively enough. And now, it looks like history is being repeated, what with all the hateful rhetoric being spewed out by certain presidential candidates. … It’s dangerous and decidedly un-American.”
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MAYSOON ZAYID The world may have you think that the odds are stacked against Maysoon Zayid. As she quipped in her 2014 TEDWomen talk, “I’ve got 99 problems and palsy is just one. I’m Palestinian, I’m disabled, I’m female and I live in New Jersey.” The zinger is true: Zayid has cerebral palsy and she is a Palestinian-American Muslim. She also is a comedian, actor and writer. And it’s all of theses characteristics and talents that have helped Zayid find her life’s purpose: to rethink what it means to be an other in the world. “I’m an equality junkie, and what I hope my work and my presence on Earth will do is encourage people to stop hating and murdering each other over differences that don’t really exist,” says Zayid, currently a guest professor at Arizona State University. Zayid works as an advocate for disabled people, the largest minority group in America. Her grievances? The media and its portrayal of physical disabilities. Zayid wants to make sure that disability is visible in the media through the application of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, encouraging the entertainment world to hire actors with disabilities instead of hiring able-bodied actors to portray them. For the Arab community, Zayid cofounded New York City’s Arab-American Comedy Festival and The Muslim Funny Fest to highlight the talents of Arab-American actors, comics, playwrights and filmmakers and combat negative stereotypes about Arabs portrayed by the media. She also created Maysoon’s Kids, a scholarship and wellness program for disabled and wounded Palestinian refugee children. Zayid says, “I want to motivate the world to educate people with disabilities. Worldwide there is a lack of access to education for so many in the disabled community. Even in America, you find situations where communications skills are not even being taught, so people with disabilities are robbed of the ability to be independent.”
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Feature RELATIONSHIPS
THE SPECTRUM of
L OV E
From POLYAMOROUS to Monogamous to POLYAMOROUS Once Again By Donna P. Hall
INFLUENCE
i
am a 60-something-year-old working, professional woman who has traveled the world, had some wild adventures, and then hunkered down to work and family, first as a mother, now as a (youthful!) grandmother, and always as a career woman. I thought there was little left to shock and upset me, but I was wrong. Enter my friend Kathy. I have known her for over 13 years now, have watched her develop great self-confidence, hone new skills and experience new love in full bloom. She is a remarkable woman whom I am proud to know and whose enjoyment of life is infectious. I’ve learned a great deal from her. When I first met Kathy in 2002, she was living with her husband and their three children. She had held numerous part-time jobs so that she could spend the time she wanted raising her children. She was your average “all-American,” white, middle class woman. Much happier than most, I would posit, and more well adjusted and comfortable in her own skin as well.
Kathy shattered that illusion for me years ago, at least the part about being your average all-American. She confided to me that she and her husband were polyamorous. I had no idea what that was. She explained it this way: “Really, it means romantic non-monogamy with the consent of everyone involved. There are almost as many different types of polyamorous relationships as there are people who engage in a poly lifestyle.” To me this simply translated as multiple sexual partners, or “swinging,” but Kathy explained emphatically that it usually encompassed much more, full emotional and physical relationships with more than one central person on an ongoing basis. Over the years, Kathy and her husband created their own polyamorous rules, foremost among them the decision not to share the details of their other partners with one another. The arrangement worked beautifully, at least from Kathy’s perspective. She had enjoyed a number of relationships, some longer than others. One in particular, with a professor at a top tier university, had lasted over 12 years, with the full approval of his wife and the understanding of her husband. Neither Kathy nor her husband had anticipated that she would fall head over heels in love with one of these partners, but she did, churning things up, changing patterns that had been in place for a decade and a half. One big change was that Kathy and her husband agreed to formally separate so that she could begin a new life with a new partner. It was interesting to me that within a year in this new partnership, they chose to become monogamous, and she communicated this carefully considered decision to her polyamorous partners, saying a difficult goodbye. “Polyamory is a flexible lifestyle,” she opined. “There are no rules, no must-dos. At this juncture in my life I don’t want to spend time with others. Since we both feel the same way, for now, at least, we decided to forego intimate involvement with anyone else. We have put our polyamorous lifestyle on the back burner.” And to further cement the new order of things, Kathy and her husband formally ended their marriage with a cordial divorce, continuing to gather for family events and holidays. I listened to all of this with great interest. I didn’t think I knew others who had chosen polyamorous lifestyles, and I wondered why it was so under the radar. There appeared to be a cloak of secrecy, yet Kathy herself felt very comfortable to be “out.” Were people ashamed? Did they feel they would be ostracized? Did they feel like “the other”? Kathy was ecstatically happy in this reinvented life, and her new excitement and romance that had grown out of polyamory continued to pique my curiosity; I confess to feeling slightly jealous, wondering what we old, solidly monogamous, married people were missing. I thought that the fluidity of moving from polyamory to monogamy was enviable. I enjoyed following her Facebook entries, smiling pictures of her travels with her sweetheart, family reunions, her numerous hiking trips with her girlfriends and pictures of her children and granddaughter. It was all pretty perfect.
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Feature RELATIONSHIPS “So why, I ask myself, has this been so personally upsetting to me? It’s not her return to a polyamorous lifestyle that unnerves me. In fact, I applaud any lifestyle choice where there is full transparency on all sides, an absolute value in the polyamorous world.”
Until one day about five months ago. I still can’t wrap my mind around it, perhaps because it triggered locked away memories of my own difficult divorce in 1990. Or perhaps it’s because I am shocked frequently by how little we really know about another person. Whatever the reasons, this trauma—her trauma—also traumatized me. To be clear, what is written here is my own interpretation of events, based on Kathy’s recounting to me. Kathy had become increasingly aware of a long-distance friendship that her partner was developing with another woman. Never a jealous person, something about this budding relationship bothered her, and she decided to muster the courage to ask him to cut it off. Even though he could be controlling and prone to occasional bouts of anger, she knew that he loved her; he was proposing marriage on a regular basis. She was considering his proposal, although she didn’t see the rationale for it. Preparing for the conversation made her anxious, because like many of us, Kathy dislikes conflict. She often lets others have the last word in order to keep the peace, and this works because she is a mellow person and compromises without resentment. His reaction to her request to curb this new friendship was shocking and unexpected. He became livid. He screamed and shouted that she was behaving irrationally. He proclaimed that he could talk to whomever he desired, and have emotional intimacy whenever he chose. These livid outbursts stunned Kathy. It occurred to her that perhaps he had made a decision to return to a polyamorous lifestyle unilaterally and without discussion. He stormed out of their apartment. When he returned an hour later, he was no calmer than when he had left. He refused to listen to Kathy’s appeals to sit down and talk things through.
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He adopted a stony silence and began to gather his things. With no one assisting him, he carried large piles of clothing, and ultimately, even furniture, down the stairs into a rented U-Haul that he had parked in front of the apartment. He seemed to possess superhuman strength, driven by adrenaline and fury. Apparently, he was moving out. Kathy watched as he ignored her, looking straight through her as though she was invisible, and continuing to load the U-Haul. She stood frozen in place, too shocked to move or speak throughout the ordeal. While she had difficulty breathing and felt that she might faint, she was able to avoid a full-blown panic attack. When he had finished moving his things, her lover of 10 years got into the U-Haul and drove away without a further word. That was five months ago. She has not heard from him since. With his sudden departure, and the removal of all his things, she couldn’t stay in the apartment. She moved in with friends until she was able to assemble the necessities required to live independently: bed, table, chairs, kitchen items, towels. It has taken me a while to process what happened. Was their agreement to return to a monogamous lifestyle their undoing? I have asked myself how someone can propose marriage and then storm out of his beloved’s life with no explanation. I have queried over and over again: How many of us are living with strangers? I have no answers to these questions. Five months pass quickly. Kathy is a resilient person and has begun to reconstruct a new life, to forge another path, another chapter. She has also decided to return to her polyamorous lifestyle. She finds it freeing and more satisfying. Her children, now grown, are fully “in the know” and have been very supportive. Recently, she initiated contact with
one of her former partners, and they have now resumed their relationship. She takes it one day at a time, but she seems busy and at peace. I see her self-confidence and joie de vivre returning. Her children and friends have served as her lifelines. So why, I ask myself, has this been so personally upsetting to me? It’s not her return to a polyamorous lifestyle that unnerves me. In fact, I applaud any lifestyle choice where there is full transparency on all sides, an absolute value in the polyamorous world. And I rejoice that Kathy has returned to a lifestyle that is meaningful to her. It’s not even that Kathy had to endure a breakup. I would have heard her news, and I would have understood that things didn’t work out. Sometimes they just don’t. I think it was the abrupt and almost violent nature of the final act; her partner’s refusal to reason with a woman he claimed he was ready to marry, whom he had lived with and loved for over 10 years. His actions were so disassociated from their life together that I’ve had trouble reconciling how any one could behave in such an irrational manner after holding it together for a full decade. And of course, it’s hard not to personalize it: Could I do this to my husband? Could he do this to me? Could any of my friends do it? At the foundation of it all, what unsettles me the most is that perhaps we can never really know another human being, no matter how much we love them, no matter how long we have loved them and no matter what our expectations are. It serves as a constant reminder that every day presents new opportunities and new challenges, accompanied by a sense of the mystery of the unknown and the understanding that nothing can be taken for granted and nothing really stays the same. Nothing. I admire my friend’s grit, resilience and optimistic nature as she moves forward. She will be OK. She is OK. And I know that she will find love again, whether it is polyamory or not.
i
IMPACT “No matter what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind.”
Taylor Swift
Raise Your Glass
They Work Ha rd for their
MONEY By Jonathan Urbina
AMERICAN WOMEN
earn 77 cents for every dollar earned by their male counterparts, and this isn’t something new.
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WorthFM founders Amanda Steinberg (left) and Michelle Smith
inderella’s fairy godmother made it seem so easy. She turned rags into riches with the wave of a wand and gave Cinderella a perfect pair of heels. In the real world, having that kind of fairy tale ending requires the help of modern day finance godmothers Amanda Steinberg and Michelle Smith of Worth Financial Management (WorthFM). Steinberg and Smith make it their mission to give every woman the opportunity for financial freedom.
In America women earn 77 cents for every dollar earned by their male counterparts, and this isn’t something new. Economic inequality has plagued women for centuries. WorthFM is changing
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that by giving women a new investing platform that they hope will strengthen their individual net worth and help them achieve financial independence. The idea began with Steinberg, founder and CEO of DailyWorth, a financial media platform for women. Soon after the launch of DailyWorth in 2009, Steinberg realized her mission to help women navigate through the world of investing would be incomplete if she didn’t move forward with a service whose sole mission was just that. Smith, the CEO of Source Financial Advisors, entered the picture, completing the puzzle. The pair moved quickly to create a fresh take on investing that would remove the intimidating stigma of investing without diluting the integrity of their clientele. “We believe the time
IMPACT
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Choices equal power, and it takes power to change any system. In regard to the workplace, being financially stable means being able to ask for higher pay—ultimately aiding in bridging the pay gap between men and women.
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has come for investment solutions that fully engage women as women, as opposed to less financially capable versions of men,” said the pair in an interview. Part of WorthFM’s unique approach is their eagerness to get to know their clients on a personal level. They do this through an online survey of 40 questions geared to provide them with information about the psychology of a client’s spending habits. The survey is called a MoneyType assessment, and allows WorthFM to customize financial advice and guidance down the line by determining what is important to the client and how she thinks about money. According to research by Harvard Business Review, private wealth in the United States is expected to nearly double by 2020 despite current economic setbacks. Steinberg and Smith agree with the data and credit statistics like this for their motivation to start WorthFM. They say, “Every woman, even those with debt, aims to save money, though many find the process too difficult or cumbersome to take basic actions. We resolve that by adding computerized intelligence and automation to her savings process so that she can save amounts in relative harmony with her cash flow.” The benefits of saving surpass the tangible by enhancing a woman’s power. By being financially independent and having financial stability, a world of choices opens up. As the women of WorthFM explain, “Choices equal power, and it takes power to change any system.” In regard to the workplace, being financially stable means being able to ask for higher pay—ultimately aiding in bridging the pay gap between men and women. Additional strategies are needed when it comes to being a mother in the workplace. Fact: The United States ranks 37th compared to other industrialized countries when it comes to paid parental leave. That’s only half of the problem: Steinberg and Smith are frustrated with systematic flaws like this and have stressed the need for workplaces to provide better support for parents of both genders. As single mothers with demanding careers, both Steinberg and Smith know firsthand the importance of fighting against these issues and feel validated every day knowing their work will help provide a brighter future for their children. “I’m demonstrating for my children what it means to live a life of no regrets—to pursue your passion and make big things happen in the world, while also experiencing the joy and fulfillment of family life. We’re both committed to fostering a world where women and men have equal choices and equal control over their destinies. What we’re working toward is a more balanced world by having more balanced financial outcomes between women and men,” says Steinberg. For Smith, her drive reached new heights when she became the mother of a son with Down syndrome. After being frustrated by the lack of schools open to mixed learning environments that celebrate all children, she founded The Ideal School & Academy. Today the school serves more than 150 children and welcomes all children regardless of their ability or disability. In the future, WorthFM plans to increasingly demonstrate how their system can help countless Cinderellas find their footing in the world of finance, thus provoking a shift in the way women think about and handle their money, and bringing us one step closer to a world of equality.
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Making WAVES
A Slam DUNK
T
hink of cookies and you probably think of the iconic ambassadors for the all-American sweet treats: Cookie Monster with his insatiable cookie cravings, and the green minions of Girl Scouts with their Thin Mints and Samoas. Why not a third cookie icon? With a softer, sweeter and healthier take on the cookie, Dina Lauro, her company Chunkie Dunkies and its mascot, the Chunkie Dunkie Monster, are in the running. It began with Lauro’s plant-based diet and a lack of decadent desserts. At the time, the only healthy options were sweets made with dates that were reminiscent of hippie days gone by. She put her knowledge of raw food, earned from New York City’s The Natural Gourmet Institute and Hippocrates Health Institute in Wellington, Florida, to good use, and started to play around with ingredients. The first Chunkie Dunkies chocolate chip cookie was born in 2011. Since then nothing has changed except for growth. Lauro introduced her products at a local green market. From there, she asked her local health food store to sell them. It’s this tenacity that took Chunkie Dunkies nationwide and online, with shipping all over the U.S. and Canada, in 2012. “My common sense has led the way. I’m grateful for the ability to look at situations I have no experience in and be able make decisions I feel good about, while getting the results I desire,” says Lauro. What makes Chunkie Dunkies a revolutionary cookie company is its pure, whole food ingredient list. Products are made from whole, raw nuts; no flour. Organic blue agave, organic maple syrup and liquid stevia are the three sweetener options. “My mission in the beginning was to use the food that nature created and make a truly delicious [product] that anyone would enjoy. Whether they ate the standard American diet or they were the pickiest of eaters, I wanted these treats to taste so good that they couldn’t tell it was healthy. Nothing has changed there,” says Lauro, who is based in West Palm Beach, Florida, and operates out of a 100-percent plant-based and gluten-free kitchen. Products range from various flavors of cookies, chocolate fudge brownies, biscottis and pumpkin walnut bread. Her plant-based success is even more impressive given Lauro’s Italian heritage. When you think Italian, you probably don’t think healthy treats, but as Lauro explains, “We love food, but it has to have depth of flavor.” Her claim to fame growing up was perfecting the traditional anise biscotti at a young age. “I was so proud; my food had to really taste good for me to want anyone else to taste it. That was important to me at a young age and of course, still is,” says Lauro. “When I started Chunkie Dunkies, I was nervous about my extended family. They didn’t eat like I did, and I really wanted them to like it.” The cousins approved, as did plenty of others. “[When we launched], the economy was not strong, so for someone who was dabbling in a gluten-free lifestyle, buying cookies at a premium to wasn’t a big draw. What helped us was how different our products are. Our customers were hooked on the flavor and of course it helped that they are really healthy. This was their splurge for the day or week.”
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IMPACT
Empowering Y o u t h with YOGA
Y
oga may be the answer to raising the best generation yet. “Through yoga you get to foster a greater sense of health in the whole child,” says Nicole Cardoza, who in 2013 founded Yoga Foster, a virtual-based resource that is free for teachers in Title 1 public schools and available to other teachers for a $20 monthly subscription. “Our program measures the impact of yoga on kids in terms of body, mind and soul.” Eight years ago Cardoza discovered yoga for herself and also became a volunteer yoga instructor for an after-school program. Over the course of the first semester, the children’s academic performance improved and teachers wandered over to the after-school program to discover the common denominator. They found Cardoza. At the teachers’ request, Cardoza began teaching them yoga in the morning, after which she worked her full-time tech job and then returned to teach yoga in the evening. This pattern went on until she blended the two. “I figured, why not build an online platform where teachers can find this content, and I can help more people find this path,” Cardoza says. “I married the tech and yoga. Teachers shouldn’t have to rely on an outside person teaching them how to move their bodies.” Yoga Foster was accepted into the first class of Beespace, an incubator that identifies and launches the next generation of nonprofits, which had Cardoza working alongside The Malala Fund, The Adventure Project, Practice Makes Perfect and Organize. Now Yoga Foster offers teachers nationwide easy access to a yoga environment with online yoga training courses. Teachers receive curriculums, donated
mats, videos, lesson plans and modified music playlists to implement their yoga programs. One of Yoga Foster’s strengths is that it makes yoga relatable to the children by renaming poses after movie characters and superheroes. “Mountain Pose” becomes a superhero pose when a child is told to imagine an “S” on his or her chest and a cape blowing in the wind. Whether it’s Savasana or Superman, the benefit of the pose is physical alignment and feeling strong and tall. “Schools are pressured more than ever to deliver academic results, which translates into kids studying as much as possible and taking tests to improve their academic integrity,” says Cardoza. “From what I understand, the education world is a little bit behind in recognizing whole child development. That means there has to be cuts somewhere.” Whether schools are cutting outdoor activities because PE teachers and equipment are too expensive or in lieu of academia, what can children do to get moving? Cardoza says that Yoga Foster fills that void. “Yoga Foster is sustainable. Teachers can do it. Yoga doesn’t need much space or equipment and makes a ton of sense, especially with cuts in school funding.” Yoga’s benefits go beyond improved fitness and academic performance for children, to include increasing their aptitude in other activities and being more calm and focused. “They feel more prepared for what life throws at them,” adds Cardoza. “In terms of social and emotional development, it helps kids be more confident in themselves. They have a stronger awareness and sense of clarity of who they are and want to be.” M A N D V M A G . C O M M&V
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"Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution." - Aristotle
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IMPACT ACROSS 1. LinkedIn’s stock-in-trade 7. When a god gets his bow out, abbr. 9. Steel work 12. Justin Timberlake love song 13. ’60s musical invaders 14. Box in the kitchen 15. Prize Einstein accepted and Sartre declined 17. Pharrell coaches on it, The _____ 19. Okla. school with a 60-foot Praying Hands sculpture 20. “No” to Rob Roy 21. G20 member 23. Her “bed-in” was an influence for peace 24. Fantasized 27. Pass with flying colors 29. One of a deadly septet 31. One of the most prolific layers 34. Name behind Mad Men 37. Existential conclusion 38. Make new business contacts 39. First name of the first African American woman to win Best Actress at the Oscars 43. Buck 44. The actress who plays this Law and Order character founded the Joyful Heart Foundation 45. One of the most influential artists of all time 46. Shook hands with 47. Band with the hit album “Close to the Edge” 48. Empty boasting, originally a “Faerie Queene” character
DOWN 1. Companions for the Queen 2. Much discussed items at the board meeting 3. Much discussed weather phenomenon for 2015-6 4. Nice compliment 5. Imitation gold 6. “The Alzheimer’s Project” executive producer, Maria 7. Republican candidate for 2016 8. Have a crush on, 3 words 10. 26 down’s home for many years, abbr. 11. Geek head, abbr. 16. Valentine’s Day god 18. Panther Newton
22. “How relaxing!” ANSWERS CAN BE FOUND ON 23. Atop, to poets Page 116 24. Biological ID 25. Student whose school motto is “Lux et veritas” 26. Jefferson’s vice president or Democratic candidate 28. Adding shades 30. Words that might come before disease and criticism 32. More courageous 33. They popularized “Just do it” 35. Homerian exclamation 36. Sensual, like Kathleen Turner in Body Heat 40. Words before general rule 41. Weighed down (with) 42. They often have to be massaged 45. Paved the way 46. Cellist mom would like a lot
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R.S.V.P. Black Jack in BLACK TIE
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New York and Palm Beach philanthropists gathered in casino style to support The Paradise Fund, now in its tenth year of improving the lives of children at home and abroad. The gala was held at the Flagler Museum on November 27, 2015, in Palm Beach, Florida.
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1. Allegra Fanjul, Calixto Garcia-Velez, IV 2. Wyatt Koch 3. Kenn Karakul, Julia Wetherell 4. Kent Anderson, Kristina McPherson, Inger Anderson, Bettina Anderson, H. Loy Anderson, IIIÂ 5. (bottom row, left to right) Stephanie Hill, Kent Anderson, Arvo Katajisto, Brianna Mahler, Zachary Potter, Bettina Anderson, Kelly Murray, Kristina McPherson, Stacey Leuliette, Chris DiSchino, Sally Chandler; (top row, left to right) Donald and Renee Scott, Greg Norman, Jr., Jeffrey E. Berman, H. Loy Anderson, III, Brad McPherson 6. Penny Esquivel, Jenny Alcebo 7. Cori Lee Seaberg, Jeffrey E. Berman 8. David Dingman, Bettina Anderson, Chris Leavitt
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IMPACT Valli + M&V ART BASEL Kick Off
Muses & Visionaries and Valli Art Gallery cohosted an Art Basel cocktail party in Wynwood, Florida, on December 3, 2015, to celebrate artists Olga Andrino, Fabrizio Corneli, Kenor, Javier Martin and Nina Surel.
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1. Flavia Guelli, Erin Rossitto, Molly Greene, Lola ThĂŠlin, Zlata Kotmina, Roy Assad, Daniela Grande 2. Mali Parkerson, Jose Lorenzo, Nina Surel 3. Soledad Picon-Fernandez, Paola Diaz, Giancarlo Arrazole 4. Claudio and Stephanie Stivelman, Javier Martin, Franco Valli 5. Camillo Coppola, Melissa Valli 6. Fabrizio Corneli, Ettore Bossi
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R.S.V.P. Dress for SUCCESS
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Dress for Success® Worldwide hosted its annual Women Helping Women power breakfast at the Rainbow Room in New York City on December 10, 2015. The event benefited its Professional Women’s Group program that helps newly hired women retain and navigate their employment.
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7. Photos by Ilya Savenok
1. Anabell Odisho 2. Norma Kamali, Daniella Yacobovsky, Joi Gordon, Erica Hill, Sarah Robb O’Haga 3. Andi Dorfman 4. Norma Kamali 5. Erica Hill 6. Lidia S. Martinez, Patty Greene, Anabell Odisho, Laura Nieto, Christine Ortega 7. Francine Royan, Marise Tenenbaum, Stephanie Hinton, Christina Cotterell, Gail van Brugge, Sue Kim, Moon Kim
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3.
IMPACT Hamilton Jewelers + Temple St. Clair 2.
Hamilton Jewelers hosted a luncheon and personal appearance by designer Temple St. Clair to support Friends of the Uffizi Gallery, which helps to maintain and preserve art at the Uffizi Museum, on December 3, 2015, at Mar-a-Lago,Palm Beach.
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1. Hank Siegel, Tamra Fitzgerald, Michele Jacobs, Michelle Noga 2. Deborah O’Kain, Lisa Marie Browne 3. Trish Savides, Eric Bensen 4. Olympia Devine, Donna Bouchard 5. Carla Mann, Barbara Gilbert, Lynda Levitsky 6. Tiffany Cloutier, Patty Myura
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muses & visionaries
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W E S T PA L M B E A C H , F L 3 3 4 0 1 ┃ 5 6 1 . 6 5 9 . 7 3 7 3 ┃ W W W. L E I L A W P B . C O M
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680 South Ocean Boulevard, Palm Beach Estate Section stunning oceanfront home on oversized 3/4 acre +/- lot. First time on the market. Spectacular ocean views with grand formal dining room overlooking ocean. Use of tunnel access to beach. Exclusive Offering - Price Upon Request www.680SouthOceanBoulevard.com
Christian J. Angle
C 561.629.3015 179 Bradley Place
T 561.659.6551
E cjangle@anglerealestate.com
Palm Beach, Florida 33480
All material herein is intended for informational purposes only and has been compiled from sources deemed reliable. Though information is believed to be correct, offering is subject to errors, omissions, prior sale and withdrawal without notice. This is not intended to solicit property already listed. Subject to revisions. All sizes are approximate and subject to verification.
101 NORTH CLEMATIS ST. | WEST PALM BEACH | 561.833.5090 PISTACHEWPB.COM |
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presenting sponsor The West Palm Beach A&E District is a centralized collection of inspiring arts and entertainment venues; art and history museums; galleries; libraries; performing arts companies; and art education institutions. Situated in the heart of South Florida’s most progressive city, the District includes more than 20 distinct and distinguished cultural destinations that form a defining industry cluster. The A&E District enhances the appeal of West Palm Beach as a visitor destination, drawing attention to its status as a vibrant city illuminated by its beauty and range of creative expression. A free trolley dedicated to connecting partners makes getting around the District easy and enjoyable.
promoting our Diverse arts, culture anD entertainment Destinations Brought to you by the west palm Beach Downtown Development authority
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beauty’s Legacy: Gilded Age Portraits in America
NOW – FEbrUAry 13 Armory Art Center 1700 Parker Avenue
NOW – APrIL 17 The Henry Morrison Flagler Museum One Whitehall Way
Vladimira Klumpar and Martin rosol Exhibitions
Shatner’s World Starring William Shatner
NOW – FEbrUAry 23 Habatat Galleries 513 Clematis Street
FEbrUAry 2 Kravis Center for the Performing Arts 701 Okeechobee Boulevard
Long Day’s Journey Into Night NOW – FEbrUAry 28 Palm Beach Dramaworks 201 Clematis Street
Still/Moving: Photographs and Video Art from the DeWoody Collection FEbrUAry 6 – MAy 15 Norton Museum of Art 1451 S Olive Avenue
DowntownwpBarts.com
Neave Trio FEbrUAry 9 The Henry Morrison Flagler Museum One Whitehall Way
O’Keeffe, Stettheimer, Torr, Zorach: Women Modernists in New york FEbrUAry 18 – MAy 15 Norton Museum of Art 1451 S Olive Avenue
Harmony: An Exhibition of the Arts FEbrUAry 28 Meyer Amphitheatre 104 Datura Street
Friday Night Jazz MArCH 4 Mandel Public Library 411 Clematis Street
Visions Jenny Santi
IMPACT If you have extra cash or time, call Jenny Santi. As a philanthropy adviser and author of The Giving Way to Happiness: Stories and Science Behind the Life-Changing Power of Giving, Santi works with some of the world’s most generous philanthropists and celebrity activists. At age 28 she became head of philanthropy services in Southeast Asia for the world’s largest wealth manager. Part of her job was to probe deeply to understand her clients’ values and motivations so she could guide them toward giving in the most appropriate way. Santi also worked with social entrepreneurs, including kids, who had fewer resources but were equally motivated to help through offering their time and talent. Her discovery? Finding the right path to giving makes everyone radiate with purpose and joy.
Wh y giv e un ti l i t h urts, w h e n you can giv e an d feel gre at?
S
tudies have shown that we are hardwired to give—it lights up the pleasure centers of our brains, giving us a “warm glow” feeling, sometimes called “the helper’s high,” just like the high experienced by runners. Indeed, working in philanthropy has shown me that many givers start giving because they are moved by a cause, but the only reason that their generosity endures is because giving brings them happiness and fulfillment. It’s also important to remember that giving doesn’t always feel great. Too often, donors get disenchanted, charities are cheerless, nonprofit workers burn out and getting asked repeatedly for money just becomes annoying. Yet it doesn’t have to be that way. My book offers stories of extraordinary givers and how they’ve discovered their purpose, elevated their careers into callings, recovered from painful experiences and found meaning beyond material success. Here are five ways we can all achieve those feelings:
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FIND YOUR PASSION. Our passion should be the foundation for our giving. It’s only natural that we will care about one cause and not so much about another. To identify your passion, ask yourself these questions: What experiences have shaped your life? What is your greatest accomplishment and greatest loss? What brings you to tears, makes you angry or moves you? GIVE YOUR TIME AND GIVE IT IN CHUNKS. The gift of time is often more valuable to the receiver and more satisfying for the giver than the gift of money. We don’t all have the same amount of money, but we all do have time on our hands and can give some of this time to help others. INTEGRATE YOUR INTERESTS AND SKILLS WITH THE NEEDS OF OTHERS. Recognize where your interests lie and where the need is. Educate yourself about whatever cause you care about, whatever most resonates with you, and then see how your voice, your money or your time can make a difference. You’ll be more effective that way. BE PROACTIVE, NOT REACTIVE. We have all felt the dread from being cajoled into giving, such as cashiers asking us to add a dollar to our bill for the store’s chosen charity. In these cases, we are more likely to
give to avoid public humiliation rather than out of sheer generosity. This type of giving doesn’t lead to a warm glow feeling. Your efforts will go furthest if you set time aside, think about your options and go find the best charity for your values. If you wait for charities to come to you, you’re just rewarding the ones that are most aggressive—not the ones that do the most good. DON’T BE GUILT-TRIPPED INTO GIVING. We’ve seen the stereotypical images of poverty—like children dying of starvation—that define today’s perception of the humanitarian world. Depictions of people fraught in despair are so ubiquitous that we are growing immune to them, and the stereotyping creates an “us and them” feeling that prevents us from feeling connected to those we help. I don’t want to discourage people from giving to good causes just because they don’t cheer us up. If we gave only to get something back each time we gave, what a dreadful, opportunistic world this would be! Yet, if you are feeling guilt-tripped into giving, chances are you’ll not be very committed to the cause over time. My wish is to see a world where we no longer need to be coerced, pressured or frightened to make a difference, but where we intuitively understand that it’s good to give—a world where we don’t feel the need to give until it hurts, but where we give because it feels great.
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