Moore On Life
Hairy situation IF NOTHING ELSE HAS RESULTED FROM THIS CRAZY PANDEMIC, having to learn
new skills might be one positive outcome. We’ve had to become quite selfsufficient during lockdown.
For example, hair maintenance. It’s become quite apparent just how important those hair salon people are. It’s a talent we took for granted. I need their talent desperately. My hair is past my shoulders and I have a mass of gray inching down from my scalp. Desperation calls, but the salons are closed. I will have to color it myself. The internet told me that beets contain a natural dye. It can be extracted by boiling them. Good to know. Until I get to that point, I will first use a Sharpie and ink over that annoying gray. My husband is fairing just fine. He has what’s known as the maintenance-free cut. He rubs a towel over his head a few times and boom! Done. He and his bald head are ready to go out on the town. That is…if we were ALLOWED to go out on the town. But since we’re not, he made reservations for
6 p.m. on the couch with a tuna sandwich and an evening of binge-watching Netflix. Wow! That sounds like an original date. It’s his turn to pick a series. He chooses “Tiger King” because he thinks it will be a sweet family flick much like “The Lion King.” I’ve already seen it. He will be choking on his tuna sandwich three minutes into the first episode. No worries. I’m well acquainted with the Heimlich maneuver. I get ready for our big date night. I trim up my dangly hairs then apply my homemade dye to those nasty roots and join my husband on the couch. His jaw drops open with some partially eaten sandwich hanging out. “What?” I ask. “Your head.” “Like it? That’s my new hair color. I used beet juice. It’s supposed to look reddish.” “Sweet mother, I thought your head was bleeding all over.” He eyes me strangely again. “Now what?!”
“Your hair is shorter.” “Cute. Isn’t it?” “It’s a little…uneven. Did you use my nose clippers?” Rude! I think I’ve completely forgotten how to administer the Heimlich. So I guess my ingenuity did not work out well. When the world opens up again I’ll have what stylists everywhere will refer to as the “Corona Cut”.
JUNE 2020 | CROSSROADS | 13
