Hogspore News: And the real winner is…

By Clet Litter as told to Bob Simpson

Hogspore Notions and Sundries is real busy. Sometimes there’s a line of two customers at the register. This means that the Annual Beauty Pageant is coming this Saturday night. There’s always girls in the Gussy-Up department buying makeup, skin cream, essential oils, pore plows, eyebrow weed-eaters, and epilators that hide what poets write about.

One of those women is gonna go home a winner. Course, the Mayor will spout off, “All the women here tonight are winners.” But, the real winner is gonna be the Notions and Sundries’ owner.

Folks are adjusting to the time change and nobody’s grumbling anymore. I thought about damaging the sun dials in town to protest, but I got scared of going to the slammer and having to eat the Sheriff’s wife’s cooking for the pokey prisoners. It’s a mystery how the Sheriff come to be 300 pounds, feeding on her food. I just vandalized my own sundial under the oak tree. It runs a shade slow in the afternoons anyway.

Last Friday, the folks went green, not like Earth Day, but like St Patrick’s Day. We celerbrated the arrival of Christianity in Ireland by putting down as many pints of adult beverages that we could manage. No children drank, but the Irish-American babies had sippy cups full of green watered-down still juice. In Ireland, they call it wetting the shamrock. It’s not the same as here in the 1970s when we was wetting the shag rug.

Science Update: Scientists for the woke folks that have 75 or more pronouns to use for your persuasion of the day were working on artificial intelligence. They stopped working on that when they realized that there wouldn’t be any humor left in society. They reckon that without humor everybody is gonna be mad as bees without pollen. And everybody knows that you can’t control angry bees. That’s why the lab folks are now looking into Artificial Stupidity

Punkin had her cell phone repaired by somebody that comes to where you are to fix your cell phone. The service is called, We Come to Where You Are to Fix Your Cell Phone. The cell phone fixer was a woman named Ann Dwoid.

You can contact Clet Litter at bobsimpson2007@AOL.com You know you wanna.

Acorn students accepted to Arkansas Governor’s School

Submitted by Tammy L. Young

Acorn High School juniors, Kora Carter and Kenzie Daniels have been accepted to Arkansas Governor’s School this summer. This prestigious competitive program will provide Carter and Daniels with enrichment leadership experiences that will be very beneficial in their future careers and endeavors

Carter plans to pursue higher educa-

Acorn music teacher shares ‘teachable moment’

Submitted by Tammy L. Young are residents of the state of Arkansas. The program is funded by the Arkansas State Legislature as a portion of the biennial appropriation for Gifted and Talented Programs through the State Department of Education.

AGS participants are provided tuition, room, board, and instructional materials for the four-week program on the site of a residential college campus, sponsored by the State.

Acorn Music Department Instructor Valerie Couch shared a “teachable moment” with Acorn High School senior Jonah Rogan on March 10.

Rogan plans to be a music education major at Central Baptist Col- lege in Conway after graduation and Couch provided an opportunity for him to assist with conducting the seventh grade band class.

“He led the ensemble and rocked it,” Couch stated, “The best part was hearing the students call him Mr. Jonah.” tion goals to major in education and a career as a special education teacher.

Daniels plans to pursue higher education goals to major in political science and a career in law.

The Arkansas Governor’s School is a four-week summer residential program for upcoming high school seniors who

Arkansas Governor’s School is a non-credit program that seeks to create a unique experience for a select group of Arkansas’ best students — the potential leaders of the 21st century. AGS provides highly motivated, creative students with an intellectual atmosphere impossible to sustain in ordinary academic settings.

Emma Threlkeld signed a letter of intent to play volleyball at Champion Christian College in Hot Springs the morning of March 8 at the Union Bank Center at Mena High School. Threlkeld made the All-Conference volleyball teams in 2021 and 2022.