When Critics Gather Think Smart
Handling Criticism There is a price to pay for everything in life and the price of influence is criticism. No one is interested in who came second in the race and even less notice is given to the last-place finishers. When you find yourself right out front, every little thing that you do gets noticed. Therefore it is crucial that you be able to absorb criticism. Get to Know Yourself “Criticism can be something you are able to avoid easily-by saying nothing, doing nothing and being nothing.” Aristotle At one time I strove to make everyone happy and it took me a couple of years to fully grasp that if I was going to lead, I would quite often have to make tough decisions that were going to annoy some of the people. I needed to ask myself if I wanted to make people happy or if I desired to lead? Over many years, I have observed that folks often began interactions with the phrase, “Now, I’m going to tell you something for your own good.” And you know what I’ve discovered; when they tell me something for my own good they never seem to have anything favourable to share with me! Yet, it’s these conversations that have served to teach me more about myself, including my many flaws. I have realized that what I need to hear most is what I wanted to hear the least and that some of the people who taught me the most were my critics, not my friends. “The truth that makes you free is, for the most part, the truth we would refer not to hear.” Aldous Huxley I have come to accept that you can assess if criticism is constructive or destructive by asking yourself these simple questions.. Who was it who criticized me? Adverse criticism from a wise person is infinately better than the devoted approval of a fool. In what spirit was it given? Were the words judgmental or did they at least give me the benefit of the doubt? To what motive was it given? Was it meant to inflict personal hurt or was it for my benefit? I have discovered that my attitude about the words I would rather not hear is what determines whether I grow or continue to flounder. As a result, I have chosen to not be defensive when criticized and to rather look for the grain of truth and make the essential changes. If you worry about what others think of you, it’s because you have more confidence in their opinion than you have in your own. The most unattainable thing to be is endeavor to become what other people want you to become. While we were growing up, I spent a great deal of time worrying about what everyone else
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thought of me. Now I am 65 and I, realize the universe wasn’t really paying much attention. Secure people forget their own difficulties so they can give attention to other people’s. This makes it possible for us to become confident enough to take criticism and even serve the critics. Assured people know they make mistakes and have weaknesses, but they don’t lower themselves to the level of what is being said about them. They appreciate who they really are. With regards to criticism, it’s important to first realize that at least part of the stuff people say about you is the truth. So just take stock, suck it up and move forward. The other half they say about you is untrue and are just issues from their own lives. Knowing yourself means that you know what you are good at and where you suck. All you can do is begin changing the things that are real and bury your hurt and desire to hit back because the criticism will never stop.
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