How to Have a Marriage That Lasts About 50% of the marriages in America end in divorce and yet the hope of every couple who marries is that somehow they can live happily ever after. There are steps a person can take even before marriage during courtship - that can set the stage for a marriage that lasts. There are certain expectations that should be realized by a couple before entering into marriage which will enable them to weather the adversities that tend to break apart so many marriages.
Whenever I tell people that I've been happily married for 36 years, I often get the response, "Wow!" It's almost like this is something that is abnormal or is virtually impossible in our culture today. Being married to the same person "til death do you part" should be normal - the expectation of every married couple.
I think a fair question to ask if you are contemplating marriage is, "Do I expect this marriage to last?" We have a thing in our culture today called a prenup agreement which I contend is an expectation and recipe for divorce. When my wife and I were considering marriage, we agreed that the word "divorce" would not be in our dictionary. In a sense, it was like burning a bridge behind us - we couldn't go back. We would make it work no matter what.
Much like anything else in life, entering into the marriage relationship "wisely" prevents many of the situations that can cause distress, disappointment and unhappiness in marriages. I can remember when my wife and I were dating that we spent time discussing our expectations for the future. Sure, there were surprises after the marriage ceremony, but as many possible questions as we could think of were dealt with and agreed upon before we were married. We talked about where we might live, how many children we wanted, what our career aspirations were, what spiritual faith we would follow and try to pass on to our children, etc. We didn't have formal pre-marital counseling like is available to couples today, but we did work through many of the topics that are commonly covered with such counseling ourselves.
For a marriage to be successful and last, it must be properly prepared for. Therefore, seek counsel from those couples who have made it work - who have successful marriages. Don't get your attitudes, expectations, or advice about marriage from someone who hasn't been successful in marriage. Decide together with the person you plan to marry what your want your future together to be like and take advantage of premarital counseling if it is available. It is possible to have a marriage that lasts and that should be the expectation of every couple that marries. It should be "normal." A marriage that ends in divorce should be "abnormal" or the exception rather than the rule.
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