Jayplay LIFE. AND HOW TO HAVE ONE.
March 8, 2012
Scared to Speak:
what it’s like inside an anxious mind
Miss Kansas going from ku, to the miss usa pageant, and back again
Waiting until the Wedding: couples who abstain from sex
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Inside this issue
{From the Editor }
H
umans are social animals, and college students seem to be a breed quite their own. You can’t make it from Watson Library to Wescoe Beach without passing clusters of chirping young men and women. There’s not a class period that goes by that someone doesn’t sneak a peek at their cell phone, or give in to the enticing distraction that is social media and pull up Facebook behind their note-taking Word document. After all, if you’ve seen “The Social Network,” you know who created Facebook— a college student. And who did it cater to? College students. The stereotypical 18-24 year old college student is extremely social, will go to a party or a bar as often as time and the body will allow and has no hesitations voicing his or her opinions to anyone else.
It takes about one day on campus as a college student to see that that generalization just doesn’t hold true. Remember that awkward moment when a professor asks a question and the entire class sits there in silence at odds with him or her, waiting for the professor to move on while the professor waits just as stubbornly for some response or sign of life from the students? Personally, I’m one of those students who has no qualms speaking up and offering my opinion. But after so many seconds of silence, I too find myself uncomfortably squirming, not knowing how to break the self-conscious still that’s settled over the classroom. Why is it that students spent so much of their free time socializing, yet freeze up when offered a legitimate intellectual platform to voice their thoughts and opinions? If this is another question that’s answered with silence, check out Kelsea’s feature story on social anxiety and how it can affect our relationships, professional and education roles, and our lives. Not everyone needs to be an extroverted genius to be successful, but as the great poet Virgil said, “Fortune favors the bold.”
LINDSEY DEITER | ASSOCIATE EDITOR
What’s hot this week
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thursday march 8
What: precious knowledge (film) When: 7:30 pm Where: kansas union, jayhawk room Why you care: the student coalition for immi-
grants is offering this free presentation of a student and teacher fighting for education in tucson, ariz.
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friday march 9
What: peter pan When: 7 pm Where: lawrence arts center Why you care: for those of you still
saturday march 10
searching for “never never land.” tickets $5-7.
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What: summer and smoke When: 7:30 to 9:30 pm Where: crafton-preyer theatre, murphy hall Why you care: this tennessee williams’ classic american drama, directed by doctoral student boone hopkins, covers lust, truth and morality. what more do you need?
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monday march 12
sunday march 11 What: the noise fm, photo atlas, archie powell
When: 10 pm Where: replay lounge Why you care: the noise fm has returned
to their hometown lawrence. you don’t want to miss this.
What: karaoke idol! When: 10 pm Where: jazzhaus Why you care: live out your dream of being
*
an amazing singer in front of a large crowd of people that will likely cheer you on, no matter what.
All in the family
photo by victor bergmann
EDITOR sss NADIA IMAFIDON ASSOCIATE EDITOR sss LINDSEY DEITER DESIGNERS sss EMILY GRIGONE, ALLIE WELCH LOVE sss SASHA LUND, ALIZA CHUDNOW, RACHEL SCHWARTZ SCHOOL sss ALLISON BOND, MEGAN HINMAN CAMPUS + TOWN sss KELSEA ECKENROTH, JOHN GARFIELD, BRITTNEY HAYNES ENTERTAINMENT sss KELSEY CIPOLLA, RACHEL SCHULTZ, ALEX TRETBAR PLAY sss SARA SNEATH, RACHEL CHEON CONTRIBUTORS sss Michelle Macbain, landon mcdonald, LIZZie MARX CREATIVE CONSULTANT sss CAROL HOLSTEAD 03 08 12
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tuesday march 13
What: internship symposium When: 5 to 7 pm Where: burge union Why you care: you want a job. internships
can often pave the way to make obtaining one easier.
wednesday march 14
*
What: “religion for atheists” When: 7:30 pm Where: spooner hall Why you care: swiss author alain de botton who
has published on film, architecture, philosophy, art and literature gives a presentation on a secular route to deep fulfillment.
table of contents
5 6 10
love:
Until she was almost married, she had never been kissed... by choice.
love: celebrity dish
Now a junior at KU, Jaymie Stokes was Miss Kansas in 2011.
entertainment:
“Chop Chop” art display at the Wonder Fair. Art with... Tic Tacs and clothespins?
13 15 7
play:
A physical disability can’t stop this man from going the distance.
personal essay:
How one Jayplay writer had to come back home to find herself.
school: the jayhawk women’s organization
A new women’s group on campus will bring the Lunafest film festival to Lawrence. covor photo by travis young
LOVE
Catch of the Week // Sasha Lund
melanie gorges
Hometown: andale Year: senior Major: secondary english and spanish education Interested In: men
contributed photo
Major turn-ons: Good sense of humor, having a passion in life, someone who loves KU and someone who is tolerant. Major Turn-offs: A pastel wardrobe, materialism, any kind of association with Mizzou, and someone who is a drunken hot mess. Hobbies/interests: KU basketball, music, playing with my niece and nephew, cooking poorly, traveling and Spanish.
Celebrity crush: Kirk Hinrich. He was my middle school hero. Why I’m a catch: I am one part sweet and two parts sass! What would your last meal be?: It doesn’t matter as long as it is with good company. Theme song to your life: Uptown Girl by Billy Joel.
Couples Advice: Abigail Mott and Caleb Whitehead
When Abigail Mott, a sophomore from Eudora, went to visit her twin sister at Pittsburg State University last year, she certainly didn’t expect to meet her boyfriend of 16 months, Caleb Whitehead, a sophomore from Alton, Ill. Abigail said she saw Caleb in passing, but it wasn’t until she saw him at a fraternity party later that night that she got to know him. “Her sister was being a Debbie Downer and wanted to go home, but Abby didn’t, so she asked me to hang out with her and get her home safely because she thought I was a good guy,” Caleb says. Abigail and Caleb, who both consider themselves movie buffs, dated longdistance for a while, until Whitehead transferred to KU last fall. They both live in scholarship halls on campus. Abigail says they weren’t sure how their relationship would change when he moved to Lawrence, but now they value spending time together because they didn’t have that in the past. “It’s definitely more fun to live two doors apart than two hours,” Abigail says.
// Sasha Lund
contributed photo
Dating tip: Focus on the positive and appreciate each other. Abigail says the key to their relationship is making each other smile and laugh. For fun, the couple likes to attend sporting events at KU because they are both huge Jayhawk fans. Although Abigail says they may argue over whether to see an action movie or a romantic comedy, there’s nothing a good talk and a bowl of ice cream can’t fix. “In the grand scheme of things, once you talk about a problem, it doesn’t seem to matter anymore,” Abigail says.
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LOVE
The Hookup
* Women who went to college are more likely to enjoy receiving and giving oral sex. * When a drone (a male honey bee) mates with a Queen bee, its abdomen is ripped open during copulation and it dies soon after. * The fear of having, seeing, or thinking about an erection is called ithyphallophobia.
Michelle MacBain, Kansas City, is a graduate student in Communication Studies. She studied Psychology and Human Sexuality at KU and the University of Amsterdam. Email questions to michelle@michellemacbain.com
Michelle’s Sex Trivia: * Upper Paleolithic art dating back 30,000 years depicts people using dildos to pleasure themselves and others.
* Kinsey reported that sex reduces stress, and that people who have fulfilling sex lives are less anxious, less violent and less hostile. * Aphrodite, the goddess of sexual intercourse, emerged from the foaming semen of her father’s castrated testicles. * In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband’s lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
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03 08 12
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the spectacle
* It was considered elegant for aristocratic ladies of the 16th century to let their pubic hair grow as long as possible so it could be pomaded and adorned with bows and ribbon. * The condom is said to be named after the Earl of Condom, a British physician at the court of Charles II who was asked by the king to design him something to keep him from developing syphilis. The oiled sheep intestine was a big hit. * Humans aren’t the only species that partake in oral sex; cheetahs, hyenas and goats all go down too. * In Harrisburg, Penn., it’s against the law to have sex with a truck driver in a toll booth. * Three out 1,000 men (0.3 percent) are well endowed enough to fellate themselves to orgasm. * Half of the men raised on farms have had a sexual encounter with an animal.
* The clitoris is the only organ in the human body that has just one purpose: pleasure. * Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches; Average length when erect: 5.1. * Women with a Ph.D. are twice as likely to be interested in a one-night stand than those with only a Bachelor’s degree. * 30 percent of women more than 80 years old still have sexual intercourse either with their spouse or boyfriend. * Porpoises enjoy group sex. * The most recorded orgasms in an hour by researchers at the Center for Marital and Sexual Studies in Long Beach, Calif, was 134 by one woman and 16 for a man. * Those most likely to have unsafe sex without asking about their partner’s sexual history are the Swedes (64 percent don’t ask), followed by the Japanese, Norwegians and South Africans (all 58 percent) the US falls in at 47 percent. * The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. * 14 percent of men said that they did not enjoy sex the first time. * 60 percent of women say they did not enjoy sex the first time. * The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by the Egyptians in 2000 B.C. After the realization that the dung was useless, it was replaced with elephant droppings. * One of the most famous transvestites in history was Chevalier d’Eon de Beaumont, a diplomat in service to Louis XV. He lived to the age of 83, having spent 49 years as a man and 34 as a woman.
love
Choosing abstinence
//aliza chudnow
Despite pressure from the outside world, students uphold their decision to remain abstinent
W
hen I first decided I wanted to write a story about students and couples who choose to remain abstinent until marriage, people looked at me like I was crazy. I received comments like, “It’s only after marriage when the abstinence kicks in” or “An abstaining couple in Lawrence? Good luck.” This just made me more determined to prove these comments wrong. I knew on a campus filled with 26,266 students, there had to be those who were proud to go through college without succumbing to the pressures many students face when it comes to having sex. Rachael Ryan, a 2009 KU graduate and intern for Cru, a spiritual resource for students on campus, was raised in a home and school environment where remaining abstinent was the norm. At 13, her parents gave her a purity ring that read, “true love waits,” and by the time she was a freshman in college, she still hadn’t experienced her first kiss. “I remember my freshman year sitting around in my sorority. There were a bunch of seniors that were like ‘Oh my gosh, you’ve never kissed a guy. We’re going to make that happen,’” Ryan says. Different people tried to convince
her to “shack” at a guy’s house or have someone stay the night at hers, but one thing Ryan says she was blessed with was confidence to stand firm in her convictions and not let a few people’s comments get to her. “With people’s reactions I felt different, but with my strong will, I felt okay with being different,” Ryan says. “I wanted people to know that I was okay with who I was.” During the summer of 2008, Ryan met her now-husband Billy Ryan while interning as seasonal workers at Walt Disney World. They both maintained the same views on sex and didn’t end up sharing their first kiss until three months before they were engaged. Looking back now, they both realize that they were missing a sense of intimacy by not kissing, but they do not regret their decision. “Billy is the only man I have kissed, the only man I have had sex with and the only man I will ever be in love with,” Ryan says. While Ryan never succumbed to the pressures she faced regarding abstinence, there are still demands from the outside world to stray away from this choice. Some of these pressures can be associated not only with the college environment, but also from the extreme emphasis
photo by claire howard
Making a choice: Some couples decide together to wait until the wedding night to have sex.
the media and society places on sex in general. Christine Eckley, an External Affairs Administrator for the National Abstinence Education Association, says that because having sex is perceived as the norm, there is more encouragement to indulge in it. “College is the first time many students have been on their own, and for several, a time to determine what their values really are,” Eckley said. “Most communication they receive, even from the University itself, encourages sexual experimentation. There is little to no information that points to abstinence.” Right before starting her freshman year at KU, Bridget Lamb, a senior from Exton, Penn., decided that she was going to stay abstinent until marriage. In high school, Lamb knew she didn’t want to get used or hurt by guys. As she began to further explore her religion and learn more about God, she began to understand why she was making this choice. “The Bible says in numerous places that in marriage, a man and a wife become one flesh,” Lamb says. “To me, that’s one, a representative of your relationship; and two, the physical act of sex.” Lamb has been dating her boyfriend,
{
Jono Bowles, a 2011 KU graduate from Lawrence, for two years and believes that not having sex forces them to get creative with their relationship. Her favorite date they have shared was when they took the popular song “Chicken Fried” by Zac Brown Band and acted out every line. “Sometimes it’s not all about the physical things that show you love each other,” Lamb says. “There is always the desire to have sex, but we made a choice not to and that is factual about us, so it is not even an option.” Being at KU for the last three and a half years has taught Lamb that everybody has their own opinions on sex. She has never felt pressure from her friends to do something she wasn’t comfortable with, and she never thought her choice was weird. While she was lucky to never deal with others criticisms regarding her decision, Lamb believes that it can sometimes be hard to rid the common labels when living in a college environment. “Like drinking and blowing off class, sex is another college stereotype,” Lamb says. “It takes a strong, college student to base their opinions not on what society tells them to do, but what they want to do.”
Did you know…. There is an urban myth, according to a KU legend, that if you graduate a virgin, the gold Jayhawk outside of Strong hall will fly away.
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Celeb Dish: Jaymie Stokes // aliza chudnow
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In the spring of 2011, Jaymie Stokes, a junior, took the semester off from KU to prepare for the 2011 Miss USA pageant where she competed as Miss Kansas. Jaymie traveled to Las Vegas for three weeks that summer and made appearances with the other Miss USA contestants, and on June 19, 2011, Jaymie competed in the pageant. She did not place among the top contestants, but still had a wonderful time and met some amazing people. Now back at KU studying journalism, Jaymie has great stories and memories to share from her time representing the sunflower state as Miss Kansas USA. What was a day in the life like to be Miss Kansas? When I was Miss Kansas USA, my life was pretty hectic. On an average day I would get up, go to the gym for two hours, come back and get hair and makeup ready for an appearance at an elementary school, and then at night I would watch the news for about two hours to stay up to date on current events. Some days I would have meetings with my pageant directors and I would practice interview questions, work on walking on stage and design my evening gown and my other wardrobe for Miss USA.
What characteristics do you search for in guys? I look for someone who can make me laugh. I think in a relationship it’s important to joke around and be yourself around them. I search for someone I can feel comfortable around. While being Miss Kansas USA I had to be dressed up with hair, makeup, heels and dresses but I think it is important to find someone who you feel comfortable wearing sweatpants and no makeup around. What is your favorite date spot in Lawrence? Whether it’s going out to dinner, going shopping, or just going on a walk I think Mass. Street is such a fun place to have a date. There are so many options there and the walk is beautiful. Did you get more attention from guys when they found out you were Miss Kansas? I did notice a bit more attention from guys when they found out I was Miss Kansas USA, but it didn’t matter to me. My boyfriend, Tyler (a KU junior), and I have been dating for almost two years and we started dating before I even won the title. I don’t want a guy that only wants to talk to me because I was Miss Kansas USA and I feel lucky to have found Tyler before this whole experience.
school Getting involved
with the Jayhawk Women's Organization
//megan hinman
The Jayhawk Women’s Organization is about personal growth and strengthening the character of Jayhawk women, says Maureen Flaherty, vice president of the Jayhawk Women’s Organization, or JWO. Flaherty, a junior from St. Louis, and Elizabeth Najim, president of JWO and a junior from Wichita, are more interested in sharing information about the safety and empowerment of women than taking a stance on political gender issues. The organization began just five weeks ago when Najim had the idea to start a campus group for empowering women and raising awareness about health and safety issues for women. Though JWO is in its beginning stages, Najim sees several opportunities for the group in the future. The group plans to host guest speakers at monthly group meetings and participate in other events like self-defense classes. Najim also wants to host several community service events, where participants could volunteer at places like the Willow Domestic Violence Center. One of the first official JWO events will be hosting the touring film festival Lunafest. A joint event with GaDuGi SafeCenter, a victim-centered service center for women, Lunafest will be at 4 p.m. on Sunday, April 22 at Liberty Hall, 644 Massachusetts St. The festival is “for women, by women, about women.” The group is focused on women’s empowerment, but JWO encourages men to join the group to improve their attitudes about women. The information on women’s health and safety could increase men’s awareness and sensitivity to the issues the women in their lives deal with. For more information, visit the Facebook page, Jayhawk contributed photo Maureen Flaherty and Elizabeth Najim Women’s Organization.
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Survival Skills:
Building relationships with roommates //allison bond
Caitlin Buss remembers Harry Potter and Twilight movie nights, roommate dinners and walking trips to Dairy Queen, double-fisting delicious blizzard treats on the way back to the house on Massachusetts Street where she lived with three other girls last year. “It was a really awesome experience,” Buss says. “There was always someone in the house. It’s nice to have that girl time. I miss having that ‘Oh my god, this happened at school today’ kind of thing.” Buss and the three girls built roommate relationships with fun traditions like roommate Christmas. “We set aside one day to get together and exchange gifts. First year, the rule was to wear leggings with pants and Old Navy slipper socks. We all hated seeing leggings as pants,” Buss says. But what really built roommate relationships was purposefully doing daily activities together like having house dinners, doing homework in the living room together, or finding that one TV show that everyone likes. “It’s also good to plan for the practical things,” Buss says. “Like, ‘Who is going to take out the trash or buy the toilet paper?’” Glenn Adams, a social psychology professor, says that while roommates can provide several practical benefits like a social network or sharing household responsibilities, they can also be sources of friction. Adams says that rooming with friends sometimes doesn’t work out and can create added stresses. There is no one answer for avoiding friction between roommates. Buss says that bathroom time was the hardest part of having four girls living in the same house with one bathroom. “It was rough when we would have to get up at the same time for class and all spending a long time in the bathroom,” Buss says. Despite stresses that roommates can bring, Buss found that the good outweighed the bad. “The Mass Girls” even made their own Twitter tag modeled off “Shit My Dad Says.” Using the #massgirlsbanter hash tag, the roommates post funny quotes that each other say. One example is “There’s nothing I hate more in the morning than opening my mouth for things other than my toothbrush and cereal.” Or, “Finding chocolate on your notes is like confessions of a secret fat kid.” “The chemistry that we had made us really funny together and so a lot of funny things happened.” Buss says. contributed photo
From left to right: Elizabeth Filkins, Emily Soetaert, Caitlin Buss and Kate Hogan
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feature
The Anxious Mind How social anxiety affects us and how we can make it go away // Kelsea Eckenroth
03 08 12
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’m sitting in a classroom with about 20 other students. The professor asks us a question. A few seconds go by, and no one speaks up. The truth is that I know the answer, and it’s on the tip of my tongue, but every time I open my mouth to speak I can’t find my voice. My stomach feels like it’s full of butterflies, my body gets hot and my heart is pounding out of my chest. I’m paralyzed by my anxiety. Finally the girl sitting a few rows in front of me answers the question with my exact thoughts. She was correct. I sit there disappointed because of my failure to simply state an answer. Why didn’t I say anything? I tell myself I’ll just speak up next time, but I know I won’t. I never do.
This is how it’s been my entire life. I’ve always had anxiety in the classroom and around people I don’t know. I remember my sixth-grade teacher getting mad at me because he didn’t understand why I never volunteered to solve our morning math problem on the white board in front of the class. I was afraid of being wrong and felt comfortable remaining invisible. Now I’m a senior in college, and my fear of speaking in class brings down the 10 percent of my participation grade . Speaking in front of a group of people I don’t know, whether it’s giving a presentation or just giving an answer to a question, scares the hell out of me. This is because I have a little bit of social anxiety, which Ashley Smith, a staff psychologist
at the Kansas City Center for Anxiety Treatment, says is probably the most common type of anxiety. What is social anxiety? Smith says about 20 percent of college students have social anxiety. The National Institute of Mental Health defines social anxiety among adults as “a persistent, intense, and chronic fear of being watched and judged by others and feeling embarrassed or humiliated by their actions.” This fear can become so severe that it interferes with work, school and other activities. People who have social anxiety have the fear of appearing negatively to others and have certain thinking patterns and thoughts. Smith says one of the thinking patterns is called mind reading, which is when someone assumes everyone else is thinking something negative about them. People with social anxiety tend to over estimate the amount of attention people are paying to them and spend a lot of time in their own heads evaluating what they say and do, as well as what they will do next. They don’t want to say something embarrassing or look dumb. It’s normal for everyone to experience some sort of anxiety, especially in situations such as giving a presentation or speaking in public. Smith says social anxiety is a continuum. “Someone can be socially anxious without crossing the social anxiety disorder threshold,” she says. “If the anxiety is interfering with a person’s functioning, or causing a person to not have the social life they want to have, then it’s a disorder.” How it affects people Social anxiety can cause major interference in the life of college students, says Ron Rapee, a psychology professor from Sydney whose research focuses on anxiety and author of “Overcoming Shyness and Social Phobia: A Step by Step guide.” Rapee says at lower levels, social anxiety might affect class presentations or talking to professors and other people of authority. On a higher level, social anxiety can start affecting friendships and limit romantic relationships as well as lead to perfectionism and difficulty with assignments. At the highest level, Rapee says social anxiety can stop people from coming to class and might lead to severe loneliness and isolation, and eventually cause students to drop out of school. Social anxiety has physical symptoms, including sweating, rapid heart rate,
blushing, shaking, difficulty breathing, dry mouth and an upset stomach. Erin Gomer, a senior from Bonner Springs, says when she attempts to speak in class she gets nervous and feels like she is blushing. “Instead of just talking, its easier not to talk because I don’t like the nervous and uncomfortable feeling,” she says. Gomer hasn’t been diagnosed with the disorder, but she says she gets anxious when she is around a lot of people on campus. Social situations are easier for Gomer than being in the classroom. When Gomer is in social situations she can tell who the other shy people are in the group and sparks up conversation with them. “Socially you can pick the topic and comment on their shoes or something. It’s really easy to start a conversation. If you’re in a classroom you can’t control the conversation,” she says. When Katie Copeland, a senior from Dallas, was in high school she hardly ever spoke in class and didn’t look at people when she walked down the hallway. She always thought they were judging her. Copeland was diagnosed with social anxiety her sophomore year of high school. She says her anxiety has gotten better since she came to college, but Copeland’s anxiety still finds its way back to her. Some days she will be so anxious she won’t want to leave her apartment. Other days it won’t bother her at all. If Copeland doesn’t like what she is wearing one day, she will worry everyone around her is looking at her and secretly criticizing the way she looks. She goes the entire day only thinking about that and nothing else. “I know that that it’s not true and that they have more important things going on and are not focused on me, but I just can’t get that thought out of my head that they are only focused on my stupid hairdo that day,” she says. Listening to a good song on her iPod and reminding herself that the people around her aren’t looking at her help Copeland relax. How to deal with it Medication is available to help ease anxiety. Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors, or SSRI, are medications that can be prescribed for people with severe anxiety, but they take three to six weeks to start working. Anxiety medications called benzodiazepines, such as Xanax, Valium and Librium, can be prescribed for anxiety as well. If you take anxiety medications on a regular basis, there’s a risk that you can
become addicted to them, says Russ Settle, a psychiatrist from Colorado. Settle says if you think your anxiety is so severe that you need medication, you should consider going to a professional, such as a psychiatrist, to help diagnose your level of anxiety. If you take medication, he recommends going to counseling or therapy as well because the chances of getting better with solely medication aren’t as great. Ron Rapee says to change your thought patterns and expose yourself to those situations that cause anxiety until you are used to them. The treatments are practical and based on learning new coping skills. Learning to think more realistically, getting good feedback from trusted others, reading self help books and gradually facing the situations that make you frightened over and over again are all ways Rapee says will help overcome social anxiety. This kind of treatment has helped me. Majoring in journalism and interviewing many different people for the stories I write has helped me become more confident and less anxious around people I don’t know. When I took my first journalism class that involved interviewing strangers, I wanted to drop the course and even thought about changing my major. I decided I had to deal with my fear and forced myself to continue with my class. I realized I enjoy talking to new people and hearing what they have to say. Social anxiety in the professional world I have become more confident being the interviewer, but when the tables are turned and I am the one being interviewed, I get anxious. I stumble over my words and have to keep digging into my mind until I find the right words. A successful job interview is something that I need after graduation and I’m going to need to figure out how to have one without letting my anxiety take over. Davis Gaston, director of the University Career Center, says preparing for future job interviews you will face after graduation is important and will help ease the anxiety that comes before and during the interview. Gaston tells the students he works with that they need to be as prepared as possible for the questions that they may be asked to alleviate the unknown. Gaston says to: -Prepare and try to figure out what the interviewer is going to ask. -Know as much information about the
employer as possible. - Think of a job interview as a discussion and find a good conversation so the interviewer can see your real personality. Anxiety can hide the real you. -If your hands sweat when you get nervous, put tissues in your pockets before you go in for the interview. You can stick your hands in your pockets to dry them off before your shake hands with someone. People with social anxiety can get overlooked in the job world because they aren’t reaching out and don’t seek as much promotion. Michael Haderlie, a clinical psychology resident (which means he holds a doctorate in psychology and is working towards getting his license), says people with social anxiety tend to be underemployed despite their skill levels. Someone with the same credentials who doesn’t have social anxiety can make more money and have a better career path. “There are some people with social anxiety that are successful. If people are willing to put an effort into treating social anxiety and treat social anxiety correctly, then they can overcome it,” Haderlie says. It’s normal to have anxiety when you have to give a speech or presentation to the class. Chelsea Graham, a graduate teaching assistant who teaches two sections of COMS 130, provided these tips about public speaking: -Don’t practice speaking while sitting down or lying in bed. Stand up like you are delivering the speech. -Practice in front of other people. You can read their facial expression and have them critique your speech delivery. - Visualize the classroom where you will be giving your speech and think of yourself making a successful speech. - Exercise the morning before your speech or presentation to get out the extra energy. - Realize that you aren’t the only one in the classroom who’s nervous about speaking. Even instructors can sometimes get nervous when they have to present to the class. - Know your material and what points you want to make. The more you know your outline and the information you want to cover, the easier it will be.
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entertainment Get Some Culture: Chop Chop, let’s create some art. // Rachel Schultz
Lee Piechocki’s “Still Life With Two-Headed Eagle.” Oil and enamel. photo by rachel schultz
Walking into the Wonder Fair in downtown Lawrence you may think you’re in just another shop on Massachusetts Street. But after walking upstairs, you’ll see a gallery off in the southwest corner of the store, filled with neon-colored drawings, paintings and sculptures. The exhibit “Chop Chop” by Lee Piechocki and Matt Jacobs is full of neon colors and peculiar scenes, reminiscent of pop art. The artists collaborated their works for the display, using various unconventional elements to create the scene, from acrylic paint and clothespins to Tic Tacs and pencil erasers shaped like skulls. Piechocki had a range of inspirations for his work and made it a goal to fill one sketchbook a week, he says in a state-
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ment from the Wonder Fair. The series of eclectic drawings “I’ve Been Crazy This Week” came from a conversation overheard on the subway one day, in which a woman was complaining about her hectic schedule, for example. Much of Jacob’s art came from an eight-week artist’s residency in Seyðifjörður, Iceland, where the residency gave Jacobs time, space and facilities to make art. Since materials were limited, Jacobs says he would do things out of curiosity, like see what he could make with just one piece of paper, for example. Many times, his drawings would relate to his sculptures and back again, but this time in a less literal way. “It still looks like my work, and you can see a connection between the two, I just had different materials to convey the same ideas,” Jacobs says. Although it may look spontaneous (and some of it is), Meredith Moore, co-owner of the Wonder Fair, says that the artists were actually quite particular in creating each display. “He thinks really hard about where to put that candy cane or that glob of paint.” “Chop Chop” will be on display until March 25 at the Wonder Fair, 803 1/2 Massachusetts St.
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entertainment Movie Review
A Dangerous Method // Landon McDonald David Cronenberg’s “A Dangerous Method” is a scintillating psycho-sexual safari masquerading as another drab period piece, trading powdered wigs and petticoats for riding crops, tightly laced corsets and feral erotica. From sci-fi classics like “Videodrome” and “The Fly” to his masterpiece “A History of Violence,” the Canadian auteur has long been obsessed with the concept of bodily deformation or decay as a metaphor for the moral corrosion of the soul. Now he’s finally tackling one of the driving influences behind his “body horror” fixation: the story of Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud’s tumultuous friendship and the eventual schism that precipitated the birth of modern psychology. The story centers on Jung (Michael Fassbender) and his ill-advised decision to take one of his mental patients as a mistress. The girl in question is the alluring Sabrina Spielrein (Keira Knightley),
the brilliant but unhinged masochist who would go on to become one of the Soviet Union’s leading psychoanalysts. Haunted by his unethical desires, Jung retreats to Vienna and quickly ingratiates himself to Freud (Viggo Mortensen), whose theories of the unconscious mind are already being met with admiration and infamy. Their talks together are fascinating, ranging from intellectual jousting to the deepest of existential musings. Then Sabrina arrives in Vienna like a heat wave, and all sense of propriety between the two men quickly evaporates. Knightley is a physical marvel, contorting her body into a writhing, rickety tangle of limbs that simultaneously conveys helpless terror and insatiable lust. Fassbender is more restrained here than usual, turning in a performance that essentially acts as a sounding board for Knightley and Mortensen. Mortensen is a mercurial, cigar chomping delight as
Freud, a man whose genius is dwarfed only by his own regard for it. Special mention must also be made of the brilliant French actor Vincent Cassel, whose pansexual anarchist Otto Gross steals every scene he slithers into. Despite its many strengths, “A Dangerous Method” has some difficulty finding the balance between its three main characters. We spend an inordinate amount of time in the cold, loveless home
of Jung and his vengefully pregnant wife. Mortensen, arguably the film’s acting highlight, only appears sporadically, and too much of the third act is spent watching characters write, send and read various letters. But these are minor gripes. Like Knightley’s incredible shrinking corset, Cronenberg’s latest deserves to be seen before it’s gone. FINAL RATING:
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campus & Town
Wescoe Wit
//john garfield
girl- I would keep doing it, but I want to keep my butt muscles. boy- That’s terrible, baby. Do you want me to punch her in the throat or kick her in the groin? girl- Punch her in the throat. girl- You know what you need right? Butt padding. Pad the butt. professor- Men have breasts, they’re just not outies. guy 1- It’s not like a horse won’t be packin’. guy 2- My hernia acted up just as you said that. guy 1- I don’t know, it was just like a giant soccer ball and a bunch of people with tasers. guy 2- How does that work? What do you do? guy 1- I guess everyone just runs around tasing each other. professor- Go start the grammar revolution. husband- This might sound dumb, but do you know what swag is? I keep seeing people posting about it, it’s really popular. wife- Oh, yeah — It’s when people give out free shirts and hats and cd’s and stuff. Swag. Kids love free stuff.
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the queer uncanny? Researching the family concept Milton Wendland, a professor of women, gender and sexuality studies, is developing a notion called “the queer uncanny.” In Wendland’s work, queer means non-normative. Uncanny is a concept created by Sigmund Freud, who Wendland says, was interested in uncanny as something that causes us to repeat ourselves, both in language and behavior. Wendland’s research focuses on the movie “The Wizard of Oz,” the book “Mysterious Skin” by Scott Heim and the city ordinance called The City of Lawrence Domestic Partnership Registry, which allows any two people to register as domestic partners. By looking at how certain elements in each of these repeat or are illogical, we see how certain concepts
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//kelsea eckenroth
contributed photo
Milton Wendland
aren’t as stable as we would like to think they are. Wendland uses the example that most people see the “The Wizard of Oz” as a happy movie about finding your way home, but Wendland says when you actually trace Dorothy’s words and actions, you find that Dorothy learns there is no “home,” and what really happens is that Dorothy unconsciously creates the trouble that takes her away from Kansas. Wendland’s queer uncanny approach suggests that the concept of family can be many different things at once and is unstable. “If you survey people and ask them what a family is, most people say a mom, a dad and kids. That’s a nice ideal, but not the truth. Not everyone has the same family structure,” Wendland says. Leslie Asquini, a senior from Overland Park, says her family isn’t what the majority of people would consider “normal,” but to her and her family, they are a perfect family. “To me, having a perfect family means having lots of communication and a healthy, supportive and structured environment,” Asquini says. We should let family be multiple things, rather than giving it one definition.
play
Start Cycling now, or 30 years from now There’s no late starts in cycling, a sport you can perform with age
contributed photo
Craig Weinag riding in the front of a bicycle pack.
Four months after his 50th birthday, Craig Weinaug’s doctor told him he could no longer walk for exercise. The news came when Weinaug had problems with his left knee, his good knee. The right side of Weinaug’s body is partially paralyzed. Yet, he would walk the five and a half miles to work at the Douglas County Courthouse at least once a week. Weinaug’s doctor said bicycling was a low-impact alternative to walking; it placed less stress on the joints. That was 10 years ago. At the age of 60, Weinaug, the Douglas County Administrator, now rides his bicycle almost every day to work. His bicycle has been slightly altered for his body: both breaks are on the left handle, because Weinaug only has 10 percent grip in his right hand, and his right pedal is different than his left. He says people recognize him from a distance, because his right foot hangs off the pedal at an outward angle. He will go days without touching his car and has put 106,000 miles on his bicycle. Weinaug says the morning routine changes his outlook. “There is a joke around the courthouse that if you need something from the County Administrator you better make
sure it is a day he road his bike to work,” 25 and 64 years old. Weinaug says. Bill Anderson is in his 40s and races The age at which a cyclist reaches his for 360 Racing, a competitive cycling or her peak and begins to decline in ability is later than high-impact sports, like running. The University of Cape Town’s department of human biology conducted -Carol Shankel a study of South Africa’s premier endurance cycling and running team based in Overland Park. Anderson events and found that the rate of decline says he has cycled since he was a child, in running speed occurred on average at even attempting to make it his occupa32 years, while the decline in cycling oction in his 20s. While Anderson was at curred on average at 55 years. his fastest in his 20s, he says it is common Whether it is doctor recommended or for cyclists to be in their mid-30s before a reignited childhood love, the interest in they reach their potential. In addition to cycling among older adults in on the rise. competing, Anderson says he wakes up A three-year research project by the U.S. at 5 a.m. every week day to ride his bike Department of Transportation released to work. On his morning ride, Anderson last year found that cycling levels have has the sleeping town all to himself, but increased in the U.S. Most of the growth on the ride home he is forced to share his in cycling has been among men between concentration and the road with vehicle
"I'd much rather bike. You get some place. You're outdoors, and you're whizzing by all this great scenery."
//sara sneath
traffic. Carol Shankel is proof that women are taking part in the action too. Shankel, who is more than 50, rides 2,000 to 2,700 miles a year. She says she road as a kid, but became an enthusiast about seven years ago. Shankel always wanted to make cycling her hobby, but didn’t have the time in her younger years. She’s always been active, exercising at the gym and walking. “I’d much rather bike. You get some place. You’re outdoors, and you’re whizzing by all this great scenery,” Shankel says. Shankel says she enjoys the health benefits of cycling. It gives you really great legs, she says. Shankel has also seen improvements in her speed and ability. “I go up hills a lot faster, and I always go down them as fast as I can,” she says. On rides with the Lawrence Bicycle Club, Shankel has ridden with young kids to men and women in their 70s. She says if you put in the time on the bicycle you will see improvements, no matter your age. Sarah Anderson started cycling training four months ago and has already improved her speed and endurance. Anderson, a senior from Blue Springs, Mo., says she mountain biked with her father when she was younger. It wasn’t about speed or ability, she says. It was about enjoying nature and spending time with her father. In high school, she stopped biking to focus on her studies. In the fall, Anderson went on her first social ride with KU Cycling, a sports club for students who enjoy non-competitive or competitive cycling. The pace was slow enough that she had time to enjoy the scenery and the company of the other riders. The camaraderie and playfulness of the group gave her the feeling of liberation she had mountain biking as a kid. Last weekend, Anderson attended her first race. Anderson fell in the first corner of the first lap of the race. Then, she got back up and finished. She says she was nervous, but her teammates were very supportive. Skinned-kneed and smiling, Anderson says she will continue to cycle for as long it stays fun.
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play KARAOKE EVERY TUESDAY
// Rachel Cheon
SO MU C & CH
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JACKPOT BAR & MUSIC HALL photo by rachel cheon
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Short sleeve T-shirts are staples of the college wardrobe. In your closet, there’s T-shirts for University of Kansas, T-shirts for sports teams, T-shirts for events, Tshirts for businesses, T-shirts for organizations, T-shirts for‌ you get my point. We see T-shirts everywhere; some are very clever, creative, funny, and bring out memories. My 2008 NCAA men’s basketball championship T-shirt brings me back the memory of being in Allen Fieldhouse to watch games with my friends, storm-
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ing the floor after the win, then joining the craziness on Massachusetts Street. T-shirts can be even more personal, creative, and commemorative by designing your own. I walk into Acme T-Shirt Shop, 847 Massachusetts St. and am greeted by a colorful display of unique t-shirts that say things on them like “Graduating in four years is like leaving the party at 11,� or a white t-shirt with red lifeguard cross saying “Wescoe Beach lifeguard,� or a black t-shirt with giant white letters stating “Designated driver.� Acme is a customdesign shop where you can design your own t-shirts and just purchase one, although you can do bulk orders as well. Caitlin Bubna, employee at Acme and KU graduate, says usually people come in and sit with the staff to talk about what idea they had in mind, pick out a font, pick out images, and have the staff print the shirt within an hour. “We have free design help so you can also just come in, go to the computer, look up images, fonts, and look up how they turn out,� Bubna says. You can design your own t-shirts on many kinds of styles and clothing brands. Printing on a basic Gildan white shortsleeve t-shirt costs $15.95, and printing your design on American Apparel brand sweatshirt can cost about $48. Nicholas Stahl, employee at Acme and also a KU graduate, says students come design t-shirts for many occasions ranging from sorority group t-shirts, birthdays, anniversaries, and inside jokes. “Everyone has awesome stories about their shirts,� Stahl says. You can also a bring file of the design on a flash drive, have staff help you design on their computer, or just buy one of the pre-designed t-shirts there. No reservation is necessary and Acme is open Mondays to Wednesdays 10a.m. to 7p.m., Thursdays to Saturdays 10a.m. to 8p.m., and Sundays from noon to 5p.m. Other places to custom-design T-shirts include AJ’s Custom Signs & Graphics, 628 N. 2nd St., open Mondays to Saturdays 9a.m. to 6p.m., and MidWest Graphics Inc., 4811 Quail Crest Pl., open Mondays to Fridays 8a.m. to 5p.m.
speak
Coming back home
How I lost myself in Texas and found myself back in Kansas
I
looked across the room and spotted Alberto* instantly. His troubled, intense eyes were searching for me also. I smiled and timidly walked to the other side of the room to meet him. My stomach was churning with nerves, but as soon as I saw his eager smile, I was put at ease. I was at KIPP middle school that day because I had signed a 10-month contract with City Year, a division of AmeriCorps, just after graduating from high school in the blink-and-you-miss-it town of
Eudora. Now here I was, in San Antonio, working as a full-time volunteer. That day was my first day as a mentor, and Alberto had specifically requested me for the job. The job, simply put, was to offer guidance and wisdom to a 13-year-old boy who experiences “special circumstances” at home. I was immediately put in charge of an after-school program mandatory for all students, which is where I first met Alberto. Despite having the same
contributed photo
//sasha lund
coffee-colored skin and deep brown eyes as the other kids at KIPP, he contrasted sharply with his mild demeanor and voice which rarely rose above a whisper. Only five years older than he and equally as reserved, I could relate easily to him. He began to look for me in the hallways between classes, and once I began helping him with his math homework, his grades rose far above the danger zone. In return, he taught me some Spanish slang words, like chonga, a type of Hispanic woman who draws on her eyebrows, that I never could have learned in a classroom. Without him, I wouldn’t have been able to order breakfast tacos at my favorite Mexican restaurant, a hole-in-the-wall place the size of my closet. We had grown to know each other well, but when I met him I knew mentoring him would be a challenge. I had no clue how to inspire someone; the task daunted me. On our way to the deserted classroom we used for our first session, I asked him what he wanted to do. “Just talk,” he answered. His request bewildered me. I had come to our session prepared with books, games and activities, but I had not come prepared to talk. “Where do you live?” I asked, lamely. It was in his answer that Alberto’s life unfolded for me. He lived on the West Side, in a neighborhood I had frequently passed by on the bus, but never dared to go into because of its reputation. My friend Nephiteri advised me against traveling through this part of the city. When I asked why, her answer was simple: You just don’t. Alberto lived with his grandmother in a one-bedroom apartment where they took turns sleeping on the sofa. Alberto had little recollection of his parents, but the memories he had weren’t good ones. He suspected his father was in prison, and his mother could be anywhere. Coming to KIPP each morning was a gift, and I saw an anxious expression overwhelm his face as the school day drew to a close. He never wanted to go home. We had that in common. While he went home to a dangerous neighborhood, many times without dinner, I went
home to a three-bedroom apartment that I shared with five other girls. I slept on a twin-sized air mattress because the living stipends I received for my volunteer work weren’t enough to purchase furniture. Much like Alberto, I looked forward to spending my days at KIPP. Alberto and I met three times a week, for hour-long sessions. Sometimes we would just work on homework. Other times we would listen to his favorite rap songs, play card games (Go Fish was his favorite) or write in journals. Once, I gave him a writing prompt that read: What do you want to do when you grow up? He stared blankly at the paper for five minutes before telling me that he didn’t know. Alberto had never even allowed himself to dream. After two months of mentoring Alberto, I couldn’t ignore the gnawing feeling that I wasn’t, and couldn’t, really make a difference in his life. Many of his friends were in the process of joining gangs, and when he told me that he was solicited by one, something inside me broke. I was an 18-year-old from Eudora, Kan. My experience with gangs was limited to bad TV movies. All of a sudden, the training City Year had given us seemed useless. This was real life, and I had no idea how to handle real life yet. Later that week, in early November, I drove 900 miles back to Kansas, leaving no trace of me behind, other than an apology to Alberto. I understood life in Kansas, but the problems I faced back in Eudora were often trivial, especially compared to life in Texas. Because I had only completed three months of my 11-month contract, the only contact I was allowed with my former mentee was a letter. I asked my teammate, John, to continue to mentor Alberto, which he did well. I enrolled at KU and started classes in January 2009. I can’t say I always feel I made the right decision, because sometimes I’m left with the melancholy reminder that I essentially abandoned Alberto. However, I’m left knowing that, while I may have been the one mentoring Alberto, his presence in my life has resonated with me throughout the last three years. *indicates name has been changed
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