Internal atom bombing appearances in poems
Nadiya Mohado
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Internal atom bombing appearances
in poems
March 2021
By Nadiya Mohado 30-11-1995 2
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For The Sake of Women
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Monologue Oh dear God! Forgive me! I made love to Satan. And now, I am carrying his child. Make this child angel-like, so Satan might turn back to you as angel again. Satan is two faced. Just as You told us. Satan would be your friend and lover if you would listen. But I refused to listen to some meaningless air again. So Satan yelled at me and pointed a finger at me just like he would do to the cat. I was his property. Nothing more, nothing less. Dear God, please. Forgive me. I looked into eyes that made me believe it was love. But he has never showed me love. Satan would only do things to look good for others. And if I would suffer, he would never truly care. Only if there was someone else in the room. Satan made me believe that my pain wasn’t there. God, forgive me. Satan made me believe that i’m a complete mess. Worthless without him. Not able to find a new love ever again. That is what Satan said to me. That I will never find a new long-term love again. Suddenly that meaningless air turned into hot lava that is reaching my soul slowly. I can never forgive myself for making love to Satan. But God, You warned us for his appearance. Satan would be just one of us. Satan could even be a chocolate milk addicted man that is almost seeing Abraham and never had a serious relationship before. Or has never left his parents house while grey hairs are already appearing. Satan would steal the hearts of vulnerable young women. Make the weak even more weak. Until they break down in tears and float on their own soul. The only thing that has left, is my soul. Dear God. Satan is trying to reach it. To reach my soul. It is the only thing, the only thing that I have got left. That makes me feel alive. That makes me, feel. Oh God I beg you. Make Satan become an angel again. So he would treat the hearts of young vulnerable women well. With love and kindness. Passion and warmth. Honesty and patience. For the eyes of no other but the women only. God. I made love to Satan. Let me bear a angel that will make Satan turn back to you. I beg you dear God. I beg you. For the sake of us, women!
August, 2020 Nadiya Mohado
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The Value of My Loving
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There will be a day that you will stand out of the crowd. God shines a light down upon your face. I fall in love, with you. Days pass by. One month follows the other month. Years go by. I will need your goodmorning kiss. Goodnight kiss. Goodbye kiss. And hello kiss. I will still need your touch. Only your touch. No one else touch. Your electrical touch. Your touch. I will stay awake untill you lay next to me and hold me. Unite. Each night. I will still need your smile to cheer me up. Jokes about jokes. And discussions about discussions. I will always stay here waiting for you. Not to worry about trust being broken. Feelings being hurt. Cause I have chosen for you. December, 2020
Nadiya Mohado
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The Lonely Believer
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The less you know, the better it is for you they say At least now I follow God's way Tears have filled these past years As if no one wants the truth, again tears How can I feel stronger than ever but also so weak? I've been hurt the most by the ones I love the most shall I speak? One day, when they go too far, God shows them what they should have never done When it all can't be undone It was like a million against one I will be the one who has won Cause I believe And before you again want me to leave Only when you have done what you need I wanna thank you for making me close to complete God is making me almost, complete You pushed me to become complete And God is showing me in a vision what you want me to be Homeless, broke, underneath a tree A bad name, a lot of shame, but i was in the end never to blame Their trust was a game, their love was a game, it all was a, game This vision of what God is showing me Is this true, is this how it ought to be? Send me love and protection, send me guidance, send me safety, send me Cause I believe. Nadiya Mohado
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Tell Me
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Tell me a story About love and the forever and always glory About passion and compassion In each phrase your confession To not make the same mistakes For all the tears it takes To let go And say no No.
Nadiya Mohado
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Lessons of Religion
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One of the most powerful things Is honesty, it gives you wings There was a day where I used to be Free from the hate around me Cause when I had the power to speak Truth and love by accident seemed to leak I wasn't aware of my power, my ability to write And now i'm stuck in a silent hateful fight By the ones who could come the closest They have got to the ones who could come the closest Make the ones who I have shared a past with hate me So they can join their team to unwrite me But do they know I still have these wings? I see it all, let them all do, all these things Devil's eyes see fire when you put the truth written for all to be seen on a wire So here is the truth written to be seen on this wire Forgiveness and acceptence are to be read on my forehead Cause the deeds of some lost minds won't make me mad
Nadiya Mohado
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When Adulthood Arrives This is me wearing slave bracelets as they call it here in NL when I was 14 and being bullied. I just started for real with photography.
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I have given birth And soon it will be your turn to give on this earth In life good and bad things occur But don't let it your vision blurr Stay positive no matter what life shows you I will always stay on your side know that too Even when i'm not around And my echoing sound seems the only thing you have found Look in the mirror, what do you see? Yes we look similair, cause you are always part of me I can't predict the future my dear But I will always be near I will fight for you as much as I can Fight against their plan You are my beloved son, forever and always
Nadiya Mohado
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Pray Listen To What Your Parents say
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These words What if I just push them away And let the silence say I have to go that way Or this way For here I lay Confused, alone on a christmas eve today The silence will say Even heartaches go away I know the way Go this way Close your eyes now and pray Instead of weeping and watch it all replay Pray - Listen to what your parents say. December, 2020 Nadiya Mohado
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Negativity When you looked me in my eyes For the very first time without the goodbyes How did you thought it all would go? First date, became a second date as you know Did you knew I would fall in love with you? Share a child one day together too? Did you knew that you would make me cry? That I would forgive you even when I knew about the lie? When you looked at me that day I hope you would just say:
One day I might leave you if things don't work out Cause if I truly love you I will be honest out loud Instead of making sure you won't ever forget me In negativity, when you remind me it's not what you should see Negativity, negativity.
Nadiya Mohado
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Dimensions For Ole
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4th dimension Let yourself fall towards a direction Where your heart wants to be And if that's with me Then let your thoughts speak to me As I’m here thinking of you Words seem to translate into a mark in time Another history to future rhyme How you could only stare into these eyes of mine They've captured and captured your appearance The objective and subjective seem perfect in balance I see you standing there I feel, with every stare Although this capture now belongs to the past These words will make it last Space, there is enough space Cause i've never forgotten your face Enough space for another stare
I hope time will lead me to your eyes again somewhere
Nadiya Mohado
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WHEN WORDS AND FEELINGS COLLIDE Let your words be like stars
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Let your words be like stars They belong in the past but the light still comes through Words and feelings could collide and be still as bright in the future too So let your words be like stars With every word, with every star The sky can be your sheet of paper by far Light up the darkness all around us Grab a pen and write, to let the light that is in all of us unite With words Without words, no meaning, only believing in thoughts Show us what the world has brought Without words only loving with the feel Realise what your words can mean for real
Nadiya Mohado
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Delay
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You see my clock ticking A few seconds delayed Can you make it tick equally With yours? Hearts could be in unison A few seconds delayed Can you alter the pace To be as fast as yours? Your song fills my mind A few seconds delayed Can you make it synchronized To ours? A few seconds delayed A few, seconds delayed But it’s never too late Wait. Nadiya Mohado
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A Mystery To Daydream About For Ole
My eyes in 2014 on this photograph
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I'm in love with my daydreams about you I wish you would only knew I think about you Still, the thrill When your eyes meets mine in my mind Even after all these years you somehow seem to appear As if my feelings never disappear For you I hope one day you will know My eyes have even more to show Now. Nadiya Mohado
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He: Highlight Of My History For Ole
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How people could be scared of the dark 'cause they were unknown Even in this time age no one prefers to be alone I was sixteen years part of the existence of human kind and its history You came into my world with all your majestic ways and glory You give what is been given: knowledge from the past If I only knew more about love I would have given it fast It doesn't matter, the mystery can keep me awake at night Mostly I would've kept quiet but you were always my light We travel along on every nano second, we travel along with time. Time is an invention, in the end everything is been given meaning to To understand, to make things easier, to remind things. Write to make things timeless. To write down, so you can take a look at it in the future. And without these writings there would be no history. History starts with the first written things. The first facts. All that is not written down is just to fantasize about. Or to fill in. We call it pre-history. I like the idea that words travel along with us. And when painting and photography came along. Oh. The world changed. In this context of what history is or can mean to me i say: write. Without it we wouldn’t even know about our past as human beings that much. Know nothing about why we stand where we are right now. Although this typing is not as romantic as writing down with ink, its way better for the future. For nature. Because we know so much (but also so less) about the past, we think about our future. For the future. Cause we also learn from the past. How wonderful history can be? He passes the past through You've got power. You've got knowledge, do you know it, do you? As if all what you have read came alive when I looked in your eyes Was it the power you have got? You seem so wise So what has this world brought you these years? In life we all go through good or bad times, laughter or tears What is your story?
Nadiya Mohado
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I'm Different (monologue based on a true story of a friend)
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Monologue I took a look in the mirror today. I saw some pimples. Scars because of the pimples. I hope no one will notice! All these hormones when you are a teenager... What are they good for? To make me prettier or to make me look like someone who just came out of a battlefield? Battle scars they say. Well, the only battle I had was with this pimple. Pimples.. They are God's creation too. But why? Why did God invented pimples to be like volcano’s on my face. I'm just wondering... Today we had drama class. I love drama class. In one class they tell me to be an actress. I always get the role where I can be the one who does bad stuff. I don't really mind. I always laugh along. In another class we had to write a scenario. Me and my classmates wrote a maffia story. We had to pick a subject and this one was left. So we had so much fun writing it. All the boys were talking about sick The Godfather movies they would watch. So we made something like that. It ended up way different than we thought. In the "behind the scenes" footages of making this film we had a visit from the police. I was so happy. I told them that we needed police men to make our short movie look realistic. But they didn’t seem to see it the same way... As they grabbed me by the collar. Brought me to their car. All the way to eventually sit there in front of them explaining it was just fiction. Drama class. Drama class? Something changed inside of me that day. This mirror. I look in this mirror. I don't see volcano’s about to burst on my face anymore. I see my black skin-color. My curly afro hair. I see that I am not white as my classmates. Who also wrote the story. I see that I am different. I'm different.
Nadiya Mohado
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The Jealous Ones
We know the jealous one There is something wrong with their understanding of fun As soon as you rise they like to see it otherwise They talk for you and about you as if you got no mouth When their ego and position is about to doubt They are glad that you are found To talk about So they talk Do, and talk Their only major talent is to, talk
Nadiya Mohado
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My Hijab
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To others it could be just 'a simple scarf' In real Islam it's all about not showing off There is even a dress code To go all way everyone is the same mode Whether you are rich or poor It doesn't matter, in the end it's God's light were seeking for So this 'simple scarf' is like the frame for my soul Protection, this scarf for women is like perfection Wear it, shine as if you are part of God's rarest collection
Nadiya Mohado
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A Royal Marriage (based on a true story still occurring)
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He has chosen for me to be his orange A royal marriage I will be inside of his treasure forever Running, I keep running Running, I keep running Away Dynasties cuts out humanities Brainwashingly perfectly With a smile on their faces Running, I keep running Running, I keep running Away Where to stay?! I praise The States and I will end up on their plates Hidden networks, hidden satellites Freedom has a price Running, I keep on running Running, I keep on running Away What happens today?! Crownvirus fills the air The truth hidden away The innocent are to blame For not following their "game" I keep running away
Nadiya Mohado The Netherlands
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Directions You go left, I go right.
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Choose A direction Darling, you were close to perfection Guess you looked for the wrong affection Well now for me, it's all about self-protection So i've chosen A direction Finally.
Nadiya Mohado
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Thunders Of Feel
Your name can appear in my mind like curly
ornaments
The fraction of seconds between heavy rainfall and warm sunlight Expectations touches my skin Desires to be yours I admire The wall of gossip keeps growing I see hesitation blooming As eyes never tell lies Think twice Take your time while I’m waiting and waiting Waiting and waiting My sky lights up with the thunders of feel While I’m waiting and waiting Waiting and waiting
Nadiya Mohado
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Confusion And Conclusion Where do I belong? Did I've said something wrong? What took you so long To say what you've should've said ages ago Now you leave me in a mess every time I say no Don't even feel like meeting new souls After you I know how it feels when it all falls Down, I’m part of the mess you left on the ground I picked myself up between high and lows and "why did you go all the way after those hoe's?!" I have found Myself? Somewhere under next to the books under this shelf? Heartbreaks, don't know how long it takes We were engaged, about that I’m still amazed Luckily you have never picked me up as how you left me here Between this mess and your anger in the atmosphere My heart, I've taken it back from you One day, it belongs to someone new Confusion soon will make room for conclusion I'm better off without you.
Nadiya Mohado
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DeJaVu
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Same train station Same way route to home I can go Memories crosses my mind Hugs, warmth, safety I see the smile of my parents appear But then the memory disappeared of my sight Cause, I have to go I have to go I have to go and be on my own again I realise I realise I realise it always has been like this 25 today and I’m still on my way To search for anything that can replace what I miss My parents hugs, and their kiss But they don't miss me I wish they would just for once call to Laugh again, make jokes, laugh again People change, I see everyone around me, change As if I am holding these tears now And wonder why I seem never to be good enough He has another one and lies, and My parents probably would’ve preferred a son Why seem I never to be good enough? I don’t know.
Nadiya Mohado
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I Knew All About You
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Be honest Your claims go no where be honest Cause I know its just a protest against yourself They told me about you, Never thought really had to die to Your ways to Seek for a crown that will make others frown I knew all about you, Darling I even read about you, I have seen you Spoke to you Shown you love that way But you turned your back, made a crack in many worlds im afraid Still cared, without being scared, I really dared to say hi I dont care, I was aware, Your name i dont care, I felt love it was there, But I knew enough when I saw what you would share What you do to me is, Not so funny but you laugh,
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Its only all about that laugh You dont admit but I know you laugh And see the world as your staff If you want to Take a chance to Make it all look like oo So no one looks at you I see history repeating Ancient Kingdoms got us believing Without them we would all matter Make the world better Without people like you Make it look worth it, Keep adding lies to it, Fantasy, insanity i call that shit Do you ever love? Cause if you would, Oh man if you would, If you only understood, The meaning of love yeah, You would for years been here with me instead
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All these excuses, after all these years and sudden bruises, its pretty clear what your excuse is: You only love me as your canvas Made believe the world, love, that it was Your claims go no where be honest Cause I know its just a protest against yourself
Nadiya Mohado
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I Breathe Therefore I Am
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Rain shower, sitting on the ground Hear myself breathing and therefore i am Stuck daydreaming about times where they took me seriously when I talk seriously that talk They ignore, twist bend and so ignore I wonder are they just bored? Looking for a next score? Cause somehow they scare me when I wonder how do you even dare to, seem to less care to, how i for once feel? Put those second thrills aside please and look at your rights As we all have one, do you forgot about that take a look at what you have done, Money, suite and ties fck that what you have begun That was just a lie And now I just lay here Stuck in a daydream about times when there were good times These times without your lies. Stuck daydreaming in my head I’m screaming: why why why! Cant never forget your face though never thought you would lie so about me and to my family All that money making, made your world less shaking so you made me your property Look at yourself for once instead of projecting for once do you really call this a romance?! The things that cant have a price, I breathe in that ice: thoughts that you spread to the world like meaningless air
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Share only what you need to share, I don’t think its fair What you do I at first didn’t seemed to have a clue Took me all in that blues, of you But I’m not bored, not looking for a score, I so will never adore you, not even part two of you, you seem to stick like glue, until you got what you want to Have Leave me as Your imagined bless
Stuck daydreaming, one day I’m leaving, without that screaming: why why why! Your lies will show yeah, will followed with goodbyes yeah, to the ones you hide it from yeah
I hear myself breathing, and therefore I am
Nadiya Mohado
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Forget About Me My Love For Tugay
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I asked you: Look at me How long did you kept it secret as I did? The rarest thing in life was that feel you gave me when you looked me in my eyes And now we say goodbyes This country is full of hate and lies No one wants two souls to be intertwined If they cant feel it themselves I let you go, Gave you your last chances though As you know I might disappear forever And I will never feel But I hope you will still feel What you felt when you kissed me Say you will miss me Cause I will miss your company When they end me for money Read my words to yourself and I will be there honey
Nadiya Mohado
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