International relations

In addition to helping match host families with visiting international military, IFM also conducts arts classes for international children. For Carole Collins (left), who always wanted to be an art teacher, this is the fulfillment of a lifelong dream invited them to an IFM luncheon and that’s where they first heard about military families needing sponsors. They suspected right then that this was for them. “We had hosted an international intern who’d worked at our church,” Sheryl says. “So, the Lord had His hand in this from the beginning.”

But still, that first night at Ft. Benning was, in a word, awkward. At least in the beginning. “We didn’t fully understand how it worked,” remembers Mark. “But it really was like speed dating.”

Minutes after they arrived, armed with hors d’oeuvres in one hand and a booklet of student bios in the other, Mark and Sheryl began to circulate, going from one military officer to the next, making polite chit-chat and looking for something they couldn’t quite put their finger on. “But then we started talking to this one man and he was from Saudi Arabia,” Mark says. “We eventually talked to him a couple of times through the night and at the end, we went up to him and said, ‘Look, if there’s anything we can do to help you, we’re willing,’ and he immediately took us up on that offer. So, we went and signed up as host and student.”

Having survived the speed dating-like awkwardness of the selection process, it would’ve been understandable for Mark and Sheryl to then think whatever came next would be effortless by comparison. But that would not be the case.

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?

Most stories about Southern hospitality involve food. This one is no exception. A few days after they met, Mark and Sheryl invited their new Saudi friend and his family to their home for dinner. Sheryl has only one word, a word she now uses a lot, to describe what it was like when she first opened the door and saw their dinner guests. “It was awkward,” she says. “The wife was named Rheem and when we first met them at the door, she was wearing an abaya and a niqab. I had never seen, in person, someone dressed that way, much less someone coming to my home.” Sheryl had also never heard anything quite like the request their new Saudi friends made before sitting down to dinner. “We were instructed that the men and women had to eat separately,” she remembers.

Yes, their culture was brand new to us,” Mark says. “But we decided right then to take them in like our family. And as we worked to take them in, they did the same.’”

“So, Rheem and her son, who was about three years old, went into our kitchen and we had a meal there while the men had a meal in our dining room. Rheem didn’t speak English and so she and I tried to communicate with Google translate.”

Looking back, that first “date” was not so much uncomfortable as it was strangely wonderful. It was that night, after all, that Mark and Sheryl discovered that their antidote for awkwardness was persistence. “Yes, their culture was brand new to us,” Mark says. “But we decided right then to take them in like our family. And as we worked to take them in, they did the same.”

A second dinner followed the first one. “They reciprocated by inviting us to their home,” remembers Sheryl. “And we were treated like royalty. And after that, we just tried to introduce them to our culture. We took them to the circus, we took them to the rodeo, we took them out shopping, we went out to eat together. We really bonded with them.”

Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, and the Southerners and Saudis became close friends, the kind of friends who became comfortable talking about pretty much anything. “They come from a Muslim country, obviously,” Sheryl says. “They think of America as a Christian nation, so the way America is portrayed in movies and on TV is how they think all Christians act. We showed them something different. We showed unconditional love, and they very open to talk about that.”

There was the seven-month, face-to-face friendship, then graduation, then it was time for Mark and Sheryl’s Saudi friends to return home. Now, four years later, they not only still stay in touch— “We communicate and we’re getting to see their children grow,” Mark says—but the Wises have become minor celebrities in the upper echelons of the Saudi military. “The family we hosted gave our contact information to the next family arriving,” Mark says. They hosted a second Saudi family. And then a third. And on and on. Now, they’ve hosted almost 30 Saudi servicemen and families.

And that’s how now, every Saudi military family who comes to Columbus, Georgia, knows what to do when they get here: call Mark and Sheryl. They’ll be your friends. They’re Christians. But it won’t be awkward. Promise.

Tony Hudson writes for On Mission.

Stats

80% of international

students visiting the U.S. have never been invited into an American home

Hear more about International Friendship Ministries on the “All Roads Lead Here” episode of the Stories of Hope podcast at SendRelief.org/podcast or on your favorite podcast app.

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