Turning Tragedy into Purpose: My Social Work Journey

By Jacquelyn Rolaf, Monmouth University, BSW Class of 2024

Social work was never on my radar. I went back to school in 2020, after a post-high school gap year turned into a gap8-years. I had every intention of becoming a history teacher. The idea was to get an Associate’s at my local community college, then move on to a school known for their education program. It wasn’t a passion, but it was good enough. It was a solid plan. But, as I’ve come to understand, life has a way of rearranging your plans; of changing what you thought you wanted, and giving you something completely different.

For a long time, I watched my sister struggle in an abusive relationship. I saw her leave and go back more times than I could count, dragging her two kids along with her from place to place. There have been times where the fear of her or my nieces getting hurt was too overwhelming for me. Times where I had to get CPS involved, which put us at odds with each other. I couldn’t understand why she couldn’t just leave him and stay left.

A few months had gone by and my sister and I still weren’t talking. It was a cool morning in October of 2021 when I got a call from my mom. 7am. Weird time for a phone call.

“You need to come here. Now.” Was all she said. I asked her what was wrong. She wouldn’t tell me. My bloodstream was all adrenaline. I drove the 6 minutes to my moms house that morning, praying for my sister. Thinking the worst. Expecting the worst.

When I got there, both of my sisters were outside of her house. What did this mean? Did he take the kids and run off? I rushed to them, asked what was going on, and they told me to go inside.

That’s where my mom met me and told me that my aunt was murdered by her longtime boyfriend.

Nobody ever knows how to react when you say something like that. It’s still the most bizarre sentence I’ll probably ever say. Almost a year later and I’m still waiting for it to feel real.

That whole time, I was worried it was going to happen to my sister. And even when my mind went there, I would tell myself, “relax, that doesn’t happen.” Except it does.

You never think something like this will ever happen to you. You think this type of thing only happens to other people. You watch it unfold on Netflix documentaries, listen to all the gory details on true crime podcasts. But this a reality for millions of families. The world loses these bright, vibrant souls each day for no good reason. After that day, I just couldn’t think about anything else but these women. These people. There’s so much more that could be done to protect them.

My Aunt Mary was one of the most intelligent and savvy women I’ve ever known. She graduated from NYU and made a name for herself in the corporate world, often being the only woman in a room full of men and always being the smartest one there. Because of this, she was one of my biggest inspirations. I wanted the same independence, intelligence and confidence that she had. When I finally went for it, she was so excited for me. In the last birthday card she gave me, she wrote: “Set your sights high and you can do anything you want.” that I found my passion. After Aunt Mary died, I could think of nothing else but helping women like her and my sister. And even before that tragedy, I was being pulled towards social work in a way that I’d never felt for any other career path. The hours spent researching domestic violence, the long phone calls to the hotline, the safety plans I wrote out – all of it out of desperation to help my sister – I never thought that any of that would be anything more than just me being a sister. But now it’s all I think about. And I want to help in a bigger way. I want to make an impact, make actual changes. So when community college was wrapping up, I knew exactly what I was going to do.

Not a day goes by where I wish my aunt was alive, or at the very least to not have been taken out the way that she was. But we have to find the silver linings in these things, no matter how thin they might be.

One of them is that my sister finally left her husband, and stayed left. After seeing something like that happen to someone so close to you, it changes things. Now it’s not “this happens to other people,” it’s, “this can happen to me.” We talk all the time now. We both have a better understanding of each other’s perspectives. But most importantly, she’s safe.

When it came time to apply to other colleges, Monmouth stood out to me because of their social work program. When I visited the campus, the staff made me feel so welcomed. I knew I was around like-minded people; passionate and eager to help others. This was where I was meant to be, no question about it. Every twist, turn and roadblock along the way has led me to this place. I can’t think of anywhere better equipped to teach me the skills I need for my future career.

In that same birthday card, my Aunt Mary wrote “Don’t forget, I am always here if ever you need me for anything.” I’ve needed her more than I can put into words, but somehow she has been there. I know she’ll continue to be by my side, the way she has been by my sister’s, giving us the strength to push forward.

In Loving Memory of Mary Huber – beloved daughter, sister, aunt, cat-mom and friend

The issue of food insecurity and food allocation has not only been a recent interest of mine, but also to those who depend on donated food in order to feed themselves and their families. Where does unused food go? Why do only some people have access to food while others do not? All of these questions, as well as my general curiosity, sparked the idea to have a campus-wide food and hygiene drive at the end of the spring 2022 semester.

While sitting in my kitchen at school, cooking, dreading the idea of throwing away all of the unused food at the end of the semester, I decided that I would donate it to a local food bank. I ended up getting my housemates on board with donating all of our unused food. I realized we were not the only students with this issue; this was an issue not only on my campus, but on campuses around the world.

I took this idea of collecting all of the unused food as well as hygiene products to Dr. Robin Mama, the Dean of the School of Social Work at Monmouth University. Dean Mama was able to guide me in the right direction on how to start the drive. She connected me to the Social Work Society, a club on campus for social work majors. The president of the Social Work Society was on board with the idea and supported it. In addition to this club, the Monmouth University Chemistry Club, specifically the president Luke Collier, showed support for this initiative and