Heart Factory Zine Volume 1

Page 1

a zine for former teens


Table of Contents 3. Letter From The Editor 5. The Heart Factory Interview 6. THICK 8. Katie Ellen 9. Worriers 10. Essay - “Where the Girl’s Aren’t, Fifteen Years Later” 18. The Heart Factory Interview cont’d 18. Sedona 19. Lola Pistola 20. Sharkmuffin 22. Heart Factory Playlist #1 contents

All writing, interviews, and design are by me, Natalia Barr

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Letter from the editor I discovered Rainer Maria when they were set to release their first album after 11 years, ed letter S/T, in summer 2017. I read every trace of the emo band that had been making music in New York for as long as I’d been alive, and yet had never reached my ears. I fell in love with their second album from 1999, Look Now Look Again, as soon as I’d heard the seamless transition from “Planetary” to “Broken Radio.” In the latter track, when singer Caithlin de Marais blurts out with the most dramatic flair, “And I’m certain if I drive into those trees/ It will make less of a mess, than you’ve made of me,” I wondered how emo was never dominated by women who could perform with such raw, vulnerable, sometimes over-the-top, but never ungenuine, lyricism. I then came across a small blurb written by Pitchfork writer Jenn Pelly (who I realize now is accidentally quoted twice in this zine!), in which Pelly described seeing Rainer Maria live for the first time in 2016. “How I had gone 26 years on Earth without getting into Rainer Maria is totally beyond me. As a girl who grew up with early ‘00s mutations of emo—and became a young feminist as a direct response to the sexism ingrained into my Hot Topic teenybopper years—Rainer Maria is the kind of band that I’d like to believe would have blown open my mind, an emo band fronted by two women, exploding their inner-lives outward. I had waited my whole life to see a band like this.“ I didn’t know it at the time, but this anecdote, combined with my own, became the foundation for Heart Factory. Before my sophomore year of college, I barely knew that bands and musicians like Rainer Maria, or Bikini Kill, or Sleater Kinney (the inspiration for this zine’s namesake), or Liz Phair even existed. I owe these artists so much of my growth, personality, and passion as a feminist, as a writer, as a person. What if I had discovered them 10 years ago?

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To think this way will drive anyone crazy. For all I know, 12-year-old me wouldn’t have enjoyed Kathleen Hanna’s angst, and she certainly wouldn’t have related to Liz Phair’s “Fuck and Run.” But it’s still something I’ve thought about, and clearly, I’m not the only one who has. At the same time, I don’t want to discredit the music that made me me, which, looking back, turned it to be made by a bunch of sad white boys. But Just like Liz Phair, Pete Wentz made me feel so much less alone, like there might be people out there more like me than the kids at my Long Island middle school. More on this in my essay later on in this zine :) I have always had this fascination with reflecting on middle school. It was this awkward and cringe-y and hilarious time to look back on, but it was also a period of intense confusion and mystery and learning. I used to grimace thinking about middle school me, but now I’ve started to realize how cool she was. She found the most obscure bands on MySpace whose members now probably live in Idaho with 9 to 5 jobs. She spent her Friday nights reading every page of Alternative Press and Nylon and cut out the articles she liked. I can’t help but be in awe of her. Now I’m in my final weeks of college at NYU, and I experience random bursts of nostalgia, finding myself looking up scenes from Kiki’s Delivery Service in the library, or feeling the desperate urge to listen to All Time Low’s “Coffee Shop Soundtrack” on my commute home. Many people poke fun at nostalgia (and the constant commercialization of it), but I think it can be really productive. Thinking about what music created me 10 years ago and what music could be changing my life at this very moment has made me feel more confident about myself as a whole. I have so much to learn, but I think I’ve gotten to know myself pretty well, and I owe a lot of that to music: what I learned from music, who I met through music, what I created in my life out of music. To find a thread that has weaved through my life thus far and kept it tied together feels pretty empowering. To anyone reading Heart Factory, I hope you can find some empowerment in your own nostalgia, too. Love, Natalia


THE

INTERVIEW New York area bands on their t(w)eenage tastes, what could have been, and advice they’d give to their younger selves

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THICK What is one song, album, or artist that aided you through your teenage years? Nikki: Blink-182 and The Strokes Kate: The White Stripes and Weezer both started early on and sustained through most of my teenage years Shari: Your Favorite Weapon album by Brand New, and the song “86” by Green Day What song do you wish you had known through your teenage years? Kate: RVIVR’s “Wrong Way/One Way,” its meaning is much bigger than teenage angst, but it’s catchy as hell and is super relatable. Shari: I wish I had the SZA album in high school Nikki: “This Must Be the Place” by Talking heads What would you tell your teenage self today? Nikki: Go to more shows and don’t listen to what anyone else has to say about you Shari: Don’t make a live journal or Myspace Kate: Don’t quit music, try a guitar. What was your AIM screen name? Nikki: Twinchick26, I’m a twin and my twin sisters AIM was “hottestwin21” LOL What was your favorite after school snack? Shari: These mini rice crispy treats that came in a can (it’s discontinued). What was your favorite article of clothing or accessory? Kate: I definitely over-wore my Ramones t-shirt and Chuck Taylors ha.


Did you play an instrument? Is it different from what you play today? Nikki: I played a few Kelly Clarkson songs on my acoustic guitar and the song “Kiss Me” Kate: I played flute and then piccolo from 4th to 9th grade and ended up quitting. I never played a string instrument until I decided to pick up a bass when I was 24. Shari: I re-taught myself how to play drums when I was 13, and I practiced to Blink182 everyday after high school. I also picked up guitar when I was a freshman. Who was your role model growing up? Nikki: My grandma! She is the one who bought me my first guitar and taught me that its cool to shop at thrift stores. Shari: Travis Barker THICK is based in Brooklyn and is made up of Nikki (guitar/vocals), Kate (bass/vocals), and Shari (drums). I feel like I have experienced a spiritual awakening every time I see them live. Check out their latest track “Bleeding” and their new EP on 5/24. Buy their music at thick.bandcamp.com

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KATIE ELLEN What is one song, album, or artist that aided you through your teenage years? Anika Pyle: I cannot listen to Death Cab for Cutie’s “Passenger Seat” without being inexplicably transported to the passenger seat of my best friend’s car, traversing a lonely road in the foothills of Colorado, hand out the window catching the brisk night air. That song subdued the loneliness and constant heartbreak of being a teenager. All we want in this life is unconditional and infinite love. A forever love. A forgiving love. At the time I was searching for romantic love and it made me feel defeated and alone. I had never been in love and I thought perhaps I never could be. This song then, and now, reminds me that I already had a connection more dense and beautiful than I ever could have imagined…in my best friend who, although we are adults living separate and far away adult lives, will always be with me “for all time.” What song do you wish you had known through your teenage years? My teenage years were riddled with insecurity about what other people think and a sever lack of self confidence. I still struggle with those things but I wish I had heard Boss’ “I Don’t Give A Fuck” before age 25. It serves as a go-to song when I’m crushed by my tendency to people please and do others before I do me. What would you tell your teenage self today? Make more zines. Write more stories. Sing more songs. Fear less. Love more (especially yourself). What was your AIM screenname? My AIM screen name was @notquitepromqwn – formulated as an eighth grader and a fitting moniker because I, indeed, was a runner up for prom queen as a senior in high school. Now I’m my own damn queen in my own damn prom of a life and I’m pretty happy with that.

Anika Pyle is the frontwoman and guitarist of Philly-based Katie Ellen, joined by Anthony Tinnirella (guitar), Dan Frelly (drums), and Eric Sheppard (vocals/bass). Their debut record Cowgirl Blues was released in summer 2017 and meant so much to me then and now. “Lucy Stone” is a perfect driving song, and “TV Dreams” is truly a masterpiece of heartbreaking simplicity. Buy their music at katiebandellen.bandcamp.com


Worriers What is one song, album, or artist that aided you through your teenage years? Lauren Denitzio: Rancid - And Out Come the Wolves What song do you wish you had known through your teenage years? Against Me! - Bamboo Bones What would you tell your teenage self today? Drop out of college, consume all the music you can and go on tour. Enter every room like you own the place. Who was your teenage celebrity crush? Winona Ryder Who was your role model growing up? The teachers in my school’s art, drama and drafting departments were pretty great. We also had two guidance counselors who ran “The Safe Room” which is basically where all the punk and LGBTQ kids hung out. A lot of my teachers were the only supportive adults around. Tell me your most memorable middle school anecdote. I had an embroidered Sex Pistols patch on my backpack when I was in the 8th grade and a senior saw it and invited me to my first local show, her friends’ band Face First, who later became Houston Calls. That’s how I got into DIY gigs when I was 15! We were just walking down the stairs and she grabbed my bag and introduced herself. We ran into each other not long ago when Worriers was on tour and I still see the folks in her friends’ band from time to time!

Lauren Denitzio is a visual artist and the vocalist and guitarist of Worriers, joined by Lou Hanman (guitar), Nick Psillas (bass), and Mikey Erg (drums). The name of their last record, Survival Pop, is extremely fitting, as Lauren continues to make the punk music scene a safe, comfortable, and enjoyable scene for everyone. Buy their music at https://worriers.bandcamp.com

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Where The Girls Aren’t, Fifteen Years Later “He’s never gonna write me a pop punk love song, ‘Cause sad boys always sing about somebody else. But all I ever wanted was a pop punk love song, So I’ll sit here and sing one for myself.” --Sloppy Jane, “Pop Punk (Love Song),” Totally Limbless. (2014)

Fifteen years ago as of this summer, music journalist Jessica Hopper published

her landmark essay, “Emo: Where the Girls Aren’t,” in the now defunct zine, Punk Planet. Hopper noticed that the emo genre she followed for years had become tainted by a trend of sad white men writing about nameless, faceless women, portrayed as “vessels redeemed in the light of boy-love. On a pedestal, on our backs. Muses at best. Cum rags or invisible at worst.” Hopper gave a voice to those who the genre deemed invisible: The adolescent women who dominated emo’s audience, but did not receive respect back from the genre.

Hopper explained that her “deepest concerns” were for these bands’ female fans

who cheered front and center at concerts. “I watch these girls at emo shows more than I ever do the band. I watch them sing along, to see what parts they freak out over,” she


wrote. “I wonder if they see themselves as

not yet know existed for anyone else, and

participants, or only as consumers or—if

the emptiness it left me with was filled by

we reference the songs directly—the con-

discovering bands on MySpace, reading

sumed. I wonder if this is where music will

the pages of Alternative Press, and ad-

begin and end for them. If they can be

miring the lineup of the now soon-to-be

radicalized in spite of this.” Knots churn

extinct Warped Tour. Pete Wentz was my

in my stomach whenever I reach the end

god and the lyric booklet of From Under

of this essay, because a few years after it

the Cork Tree was my Bible. I read along

was written, I was one of those girls.

to every word while the CD played on my

The commercially tied genre of

pink Hello Kitty boombox. “We’re the ther-

emo and pop punk took me by the hand

apists pumping through your speakers,

and seduced me when I was about 11

delivering just what you need,” Patrick

years old. I lived on the south shore of

Stump sings with explosive reassurance

Long Island, the birthplace of early-2000s,

on “Sophomore Slump or Comeback of

“third wave” emo staples like Brand New,

the Year.” I believed him then, and I still

Taking Back Sunday, and Glassjaw, aka

do. The first time I listened to All Time

the bands that Hopper condemned. In

Low’s lively debut full-length, So Wrong

2007, my favorite groups, like Panic at the

It’s Right, was in my dark bedroom, lit only

Disco or All Time Low, were often inspired

by the screen of my iPod Nano. I remem-

by those bands, continuing the tradition of

ber crying out of gratitude that something

bashing girls for breaking hearts, giving it

so magically resonant existed, made just

up too quickly or not quickly enough, and

for someone like me. Today, I refuse to al-

doing anything except serving young men

low my unawareness of pop punk’s lyrical

as objects of their affection. I couldn’t see

implications to invalidate those old emo-

this when I was in middle school. I was

tional experiences with them. But know-

lonely and misunderstood, silently suffer-

ing what I know now, I feel betrayed, frus-

ing and screaming into a void that I did

trated, even guilty over them. Pop punk

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was made for someone like me, and that

Amid these allegations, music crit-

was the problem.

ics contended with Brand New’s influence

Recent headlines have revealed

in a slew of thinkpieces, and nearly ev-

that female emo fans have had much

ery writer referenced two pieces: Jessi-

darker experiences with the genre than

ca Hopper’s essay, and the lyrics to “Me

I did. Last November, mere months after

Vs. Maradona Vs. Elvis,” a song from

the release of their last hurrah of a re-

the band’s highly successful sophomore

cord, Science Fiction, Brand New’s front-

release of the (clearly significant) year

man, Jesse Lacey, was accused of sex-

2003, Deja Entendu. Lyrics of note in-

ual misconduct by two women. In 2003,

clude, “I got desperate desires and unad-

the same year Hopper’s essay was pub-

mirable plans/ My tongue will taste of gin

lished, Nicole Elizabeth Garey met Lacey

and malicious intent/ Bring you back to

at a show in upstate New York. Later, she

the bar get you out of the cold/ My sober

alleges, the singer began asking her for

straight face gets you out of your clothes.”

nude photos via instant messenger. Gar-

Lacey always denied that the lyrics were

ey was 15; Lacey was 24. Another wom-

autobiographical, insisting, rather, that

an, Emily Driskill, had similar experiences

they alluded to a nightmare he once had.

with the singer. Other than soliciting her

But skimming through Brand New’s early

for nude photos beginning when she was

discography demonstrates that the Long

17, Driskill says that Lacey video chatted

Island band crafted their career upon a

with her as he masturbated, and later sub-

foundation of misogyny and male entitle-

jected her to “several instances of coer-

ment. On their first record, Your Favorite

cion during physically intimate situations

Weapon, Lacey shames an ex for wearing

with him.” Lacey issued a blanket apology

makeup and for not “appreciating” Brand

through the Brand New Facebook page,

New on “Mix Tape.” On “Jude Law and a

and the band canceled all remaining tour

Semester Abroad,” Lacey sings, “I hope

dates.

the next boy that you kiss has something


terribly contagious on his lips” and “Even

bet she’ll drink and follow orders.” Even

if her plane crashes tonight/ She’ll find

my beloved Fall Out Boy whines on the

some way to disappoint me/ By not burn-

bridge of one of their most popular sin-

ing in the wreckage/ Or drowning at the

gles, “Dance, Dance,” “I only want sym-

bottom of the sea,” all because a girl de-

pathy in the form of you crawling into bed

cided to leave him to study in England.

with me.” We’d like to think that one of pop

The allegations against Jesse Lacey

punk’s few female-fronted bands, Par-

were shocking, not because of what he

amore, would have done better to over-

did, but because it’s taken over 15 years

throw the scene’s sexism, but we cannot

to prove what he has clearly always been

forget that the song that made the group

capable of.

famous, “Misery Business,” includes the

But Brand New is far from the only

line, “Once a whore, you’re nothing more/

band to have bolstered the deeply em-

I’m sorry, that’ll never change.” I saw

bedded misogynistic ideas that defined

Blink-182 live when I was 13 and when

their scene. Fellow Long Island groups

I was 18, and it was only during my sec-

certainly

participat-

ed--Taking Back Sunday’s Adam Lazzara considers killing himself in front of the girl who won’t love him back on “Cute Without the ‘E’” ; Glassjaw’s chorus for “Pretty Lush” goes, “You can lead a whore to water and you can My friend Ashley and me in 2016 at the Blink-182 concert at Barclays Center

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ond experience that I noticed my position

see in those damaging lyrics in the first

among a group of white men in their late

place? In her Pitchfork article “Unraveling

twenties singing, “I need a girl that I can

the Sexism of Emo’s Third Wave,” Jenn

train” along to “Dumpweed.” When the

Pelly asks the same question. She con-

band performs “Dammit” in their encore,

sidered, “Maybe we internalized our own

it’s become a tradition that when Mark

misogyny, saw those girls in the songs as

Hoppus sings, “Did you hear?” the audi-

Them, not Us. Maybe we were too young

ence shouts in response, “He fucked her.”

to see the devil in the details.” When I

The way I passively listened to

was a tween, boys at school could hardly

these performances 10 years ago, and

remember my name, let alone provide me

the way I hear them now in horror, illus-

with the romantic attention I craved. How

trates the niche purpose of emo and pop

could any girl take the devotion from my

punk. Their fans are young, inexperi-

Lord and Saviour Pete Wentz for granted?

enced, and naive, but then they grow up.

When he wrote, “I’m just a notch in your

Pop punk is produced to grow out of. Get-

bedpost, but you’re just a line in a song”

ting older means that this music is a thing

in “Sugar, We’re Going Down,” he shared

of the past, forever ingrained in the mar-

with the world that he wrote the deepest

gins of middle school journals and AIM

poetry about a girl who only used him for

away messages. We listen to Jimmy Eat

sex. At 13, I knew that I would have never

World for the sake of nostalgia or drunken

done such a thing. She was wrong, and

karaoke nights, but we no longer connect

he was right. His love was pure, and hers

with every word we’re singing along to.

was dirty. When I knew nothing about ro-

I often wonder how female fans

mance, I thought that discovering horny

of pop punk, myself included, can sing

white boys’ sensitive and self indulgent

along and ignore the harmful messages

love songs on MySpace while my parents

we potentially absorbed back in middle

weren’t home was the sexiest thing that

school. More importantly, what did we

had ever happened. I still consider my


sexual awakening to have taken place

toxic in a relationship is not always the

within the first verse of Panic at the Dis-

girl’s fault, the music could no longer

co’s “Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can

support me. It told me that I must either

Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off,”

exist as a boy’s Manic Pixie Dream Girl,

when Brendon Urie seductively whis-

or face that he wishes for me to die in a

pers, “I’ve got more wit, a better kiss,

plane crash.

a hotter touch, a better fuck/ Than any

boy you’ll ever meet/ Sweetie, you had

lyrics, some artists grow with us. In 2015,

me.” The only thing I knew for sure about

Paramore’s Haley Williams wrote on her

this lyric was that it contained the word

Tumblr, “Misery Business is not a set

“fuck” to imply something about sex, and

of lyrics that I relate to as a 26 year old

when you’re a middle school girl, that’s

woman. i haven’t related to it in a very

enough. I spent years fantasizing for a

long time. those words were written

boy to someday write a (nice) song about

when i was 17… admittedly, from a very

me, but it never occurred to me that I was

narrow-minded perspective.” As argu-

capable of writing a song myself.

ably the most successful woman in pop

Perhaps everyone grows out of

punk, Williams was the only musician

the genres and musicians that they em-

within the scene to apologize for lyricism

braced during their formative years, but

until last year. Glassjaw’s Daryl Palumbo

I find it significant that I fell out of touch

atoned for his “Pretty Lush” lyrics in an

with emo and pop punk as soon as I be-

interview with Alternative Press’s Jason

came in touch with the realities of being a

Pettigrew last December, explaining, “I

young woman. Pop punk served me well

was a young guy, and I was supposed to

when I felt sad or misunderstood, but

be a man and I was not. I apologize for

when I started dating, becoming more

saying any of that. You can be frustrat-

independent and empowered, learning

ed, but I really wished I had written better

that sometimes--wait for it--everything

lyrics. I wish I had better taste; I wish I

While we grow out of pop punk

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wasn’t so insensitive.”

annual nationwide summer festival with a

It feels progressive that some emo

lineup that has defined who is and who

bands are apologizing for their lyrics, ex-

is not “pop punk” since 1995, announced

cept that those lyrics were written over

that it will officially end after its 2018 run.

10 years ago. The emo and pop punk

The tour’s founder, Kevin Lyman, cited

scene still thrives off of the fragile mascu-

the decline of ticket sales and participat-

linities that built it, although perhaps their

ing bands as reasons for Warped’s end,

songs do not make it so obvious. Their

but the tour has faced backlash in recent

fans are still too young to notice, and too

years for supporting artists with bad rep-

few older fans exist to call them out. Last

utations. Three years ago, the festival

fall, the Australian group With Confidence

allowed the artist Front Porch Step to

was removed from their tour with fellow

perform at its Nashville date for “rehabil-

pop punk outfit Knuckle Puck, following

itative” purposes, despite multiple sexual

allegations that guitarist Luke Rockets

misconduct allegations against him. Ly-

had sexted an underage fan. The band

man told Chris Payne of Billboard, fol-

outed Rockets and put out a statement

lowing his Warped announcement, “It’s

condemning his behavior, right before

a really tricky world out there right now.

another young fan shared screenshots

And as my wife said this weekend, we

of a sexually charged conversation with

watched what happened with Brand New

the band’s singer, Jayden Seely. Despite

and these kinds of things. And she goes,

progress within the genre from bands

‘Oh, I see a storm gathering. You’ll get

that sprouted 15 years ago, the newer

sucked into this somehow.’”

pop punk scene is still breeding the same kinds of damaging male musicians, who

This year’s Warped Tour lineup was released earlier this month.

are still taking advantage of their female

With Confidence is on the bill.

fans.

This is the part where I’m supLast fall, Vans’ Warped Tour, the

posed to propose some kind of solution


to all of this, but as recent findings and

nate the actual music that exists within it.

decades-old lyrics suggest, pop punk

Pop punk and emo bands were never all

and emo are complex, and so is their

bad, and they’re still not. Knuckle Puck

relationship with their female fanbase. It

was the band to kick With Confidence off

is difficult to encourage the dismantling

of their tour following the allegations, and

of a genre that carried me at a specific

I know that their angry punk music can

point of time, just as it is hard to accept

thrive outside of the scene. I saw Real

that the same musicians may have only

Friends open a Wonder Years show in

wanted the worst for me when I grew up.

October 2016, and got chills when singer

My peak pop punk fandom is far in my

Dan Lambton gave a speech in support

past, but I know that middle school girls

of the safety of women at their shows,

today are coming across songs by both

and denounced not-yet-president Trump

Brand New and With Confidence with

in front of a room of fans who were large-

fresh ears, open hearts, and naiveté.

ly not yet old enough to vote. Many of

Like Jessica Hopper, my deepest con-

these bands want progress, but existing

cerns are for them. I often wonder what

in the same genre as their problematic

my teenage years would have been like,

predecessors keeps change from taking

had I discovered riot grrrl bands like Bi-

place. Isolating the music from the scene

kini Kill, or the ‘90s female-fronted emo

will show which bands are strong enough

group Rainer Maria before I entered col-

to stand on their own, and can create the

lege. If anything good can come out of

space where women could never have

unlimited streaming and Spotify, I hope

fit before. Emo is still where the girls ar-

that it’s young girls’ access to songs writ-

en’t, but that’s because their voices and

ten for women, performed by women.

strength are tearing the genre down to

I also think that the end of Warped

build something better. <3

Tour might be a good thing. Overthrowing a genre built on misogyny does not elimi-

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Sedona What is one song, album, or artist that aided you through your teenage years? Gwen Stefani - Love Angel Music Baby What song do you wish you had known through your teenage years? Cocteau Twins - “My Truth” What would you tell your teenage self today? Follow your heart. Trust yourself. Think less. Do more. What was your favorite article of clothing or accessory? My butterfly graphic tee - major Lisa Frank vibes. I still wear it, but now it’s a crop top. Did you play an instrument? Is it different from what you play today? I’ve been singing since before I could talk. Having a singer-songwriter for a mama and a piano tuner/jazz photographer as a papa, there was never a quiet moment for me, and I’d like to keep it that way. I dabbled in saxophone in middle school, and played percussion for my high school’s marching band, but singing has always been my favorite form of self-expression. Who was your role model growing up? Donna Summer and Madonna - they’ve both been leading female presences in pop culture and broke a lot of social barriers for women that inspire me to do the same.

Sedona is an L.A. born, Brooklyn-based musician who has just released her debut single, “Call Me Up,” the first song off of her audivisual album Home Before Dawn. She also wrote and directed the “Call Me Up” music video, which leads its viewers into what I can only describe as a vibrant and groovy wonderland of positive feminine energy. Keep an ear out for new music soon!


Lola pistola What is one song, album, or artist that aided you through your teenage years? Kurt Cobain. And from Nirvana ‘Heart-Shaped Box’.

What song do you wish you had known through your teenage years? I don’t know. I do wish I didn’t know anything by Guns ‘N Roses. What would you tell your teenage self today?

Play more guitar! Keep writing, and listen to Patti Smith. Who was your teenage celebrity crush?

Leonardo DiCaprio and Keanu Reeves, duh! Who was your role model growing up?

My dad, he just taught me how to be patience, and understanding and took care always of my mom and my brother and me with a smile and joy. Love for the family. He also took me to my first shows, ever, which were reggae shows. And I was 12-13 and people used to smoke so much weed, and we were just probably a little bit high and giggling the whole time. It was amazing! Tell me your most memorable middle school anecdote.

Being Class President on 9th Grade! Skipping class, listening to Green Day and Nirvana on my pink cd-player. Getting 3rd place at a school talent show singing an Avril Lavigne song. Questionable but fun!

Before she moved to Brooklyn, Arvelisse Ruby Bonilla-Ramos, aka Lola Pistola, started out in the Puerto Rican underground punk scene. She released her debut solo record, Curfew, last year, an album that’s grunge and glam with a soft velvet touch. Buy her music at lolapistola.bandcamp.com

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Sharkmuffin What is one song, album, or artist that aided you through your teenage years? Tarra Thiessen: Coral Fang by The Distillers, Live through this by Hole, Streetlight Manifesto: Everything Goes Numb, Nirvana. Natalie Kirch: NIRVANA’s “Incesticide” Jordyn Blakely: Nirvana was also crucial for me! I’m gonna have to go with Blink 182’s ‘Dude Ranch’. Also Weezer’s ‘The Blue Album’, The Hives’ ‘Veni Vidi Vicious’. What song do you wish you had known through your teenage years? Tarra: Brian Jonestown Massacre - Anemone Jordyn: Cocteau Twins -‘Cherry Coloured Funk’, The Birthday Party -‘Happy Birthday’, Bjork -‘Army Of Me’, The Cure- ‘Fasication Street’ What would you tell your teenage self today? Tarra: Not to worry about people judging and criticizing you because they’ll be too busy looking at their phones. Natalie: You will play in a touring rock band after you graduate from college! Jordyn: Be less fearful in your creative and artistic expression. Experiment more with writing songs. Don’t pressure yourself to fit into one niche. Who was your teenage celebrity crush? Tarra: Jack White and Brody Dalle Natalie: Kurt Cobain. Jordyn: Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day What was your favorite article of clothing or accessory? Natalie: I used to like making my own shirts with either fabric pens or iron-on paper. Probably one of those, or this vintage cut-off denim skirt I got at Camden Market in London.


Did you play an instrument? Is it different from what you play today? Natalie: I dabbled in guitar, but didn’t start playing anything seriously (or pick up a bass) until my mid-20s. Jordyn: I started playing guitar in the eighth grade and started learning my favorite songs by ear. I was curious about drums and once I got a drum kit, that totally took over. What did you want to be when you were growing up? Jordyn: I wanted to be a veterinarian, but in high school science class I found out we were going to have to dissect an animal, and the thought of it made me nauseous! So that probably wouldn’t have worked out.

New York/Jersey Shore-based Sharkmuffin is Tarra Thiessen (guitar/vocals), Natalie Kirch (bass/vocals), and Jordyn Blakely) (drums, vocals). The band is currently working on their third album (after 2017’s Tsuki and 2015’s Chartreuse), and will tour in Europe this summer! Buy their music at sharkmuffin.bandcamp.com

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Make New Friends 1. “What’s My Age Again?" - Blink-182 2. “Buddy Holly” - Weezer 3. “86” - Green Day 4. “Passenger Seat” - Death Cab For Cutie 5. “Time Bomb” - Rancid 6. “Cool” - Gwen Stefani 7. “Heart-Shaped Box” - Nirvana 8. “Coral Fang” - The Distillers 9. “Sliver” - Nirvana 10. “Dammit - Blink-182


But Keep The Old 1. “Wrong Way/One Way” - RVIVR 2. “Normal Girl” - SZA 3. “This Must Be The Place” - Talking Heads 4. “I Don’t Give a Fuck” - Boss 5. “Bamboo Bones” - Against Me! 6. “My Truth” - Cocteau Twins 7. “Land” - Patti Smith 8. “Anemone” - Brian Jonestown Massacre 9. ““Army of Me” - Bjork 10. “Fascination Street” - The Cure Check out these tracks and songs by the musicians featured in this issue on the first Heart Factory playlist, “Heart Factory Playlist #1”

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For any questions or suggestions, contact me at : nataliabbarr@gmail.com Or follow me on Instagram and Twitter @imnataliab, along with all of the artists featured in this issue


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