Peristeria Winter 2012 by National Girls Ministries

National Girls Ministries Director

Candy Tolbert Teen Girl Specialist Magazine Editor

Katie Mattiuzzo

National Girls Ministries Editor

Lori Van Veen

This Month’s Contributors:

Alyseia Sanchez

Healthy Tips for the New Year

Jennie Olson

Entertainment Center Like, Love, & Dating

Ashley Tolbert Bits of Beauty

Ashlee Chu

Respect is Expected

Hey girls! I don’t know about you, but I always have such lofty goals and ideas for the winter months. December is jam-packed with holiday get-togethers, baking, projects, shopping, gift wrapping, organizing, and for those of you in school, end-of-thesemester papers, tests, and assignments. Before you know it Christmas has come and gone. I hate going through holidays intended to celebrate the Lord, like Easter and Christmas, with a spirit of busyness. Upon rising from the dead, Jesus instructed the disciples on how to conduct communion and on the importance of it. In Luke 22:19 it says, “He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, ‘This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me’” (NIV). Now as a Church, we take communion periodically as a way to remember the sacrifice Jesus made. Don’t let December pass by without taking time to adequately acknowledge the reason we celebrate this season — Jesus! Salvation. Eternal life. Freedom from sin. What reminders of Jesus have you surrounded yourself with as you celebrate the Christmas season? Angels on top of the Christmas tree remind us of the heavenly host that greeted the shepherds the night that Jesus was born in Bethlehem. Nativity scenes remind us of the humble entrance the King of Kings made to this world. Christmas lights remind us that Jesus is the light of the world. Christmas presents remind us of God’s blessings in our life and the ultimate gift that we’ve been given — salvation. Stars remind us of the star that led the wisemen to baby Jesus.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved. THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture taken from the New Century Version®. Copyright © 2005 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ©2012 by My Healthy Church. All Rights Reserved. Permission to copy for church use only.

Candles remind us to be a light to the darkness around us. Make a point this season to bring a remembrance of Jesus into everything you do! Into the decorations you set up, the foods you cook and bake, the conversations you have with friends, and the cards and presents you exchange with loved ones.

The symbolism between the Peristeria Orchid and the Christian teen girl is pretty powerful stuff. Peristeria is Greek for “little dove.” The orchid gets its name from the dove-shaped center of the flower, and has also been called the Holy Ghost orchid (read Luke 3:21,22). Peristeria Orchids can grow in light or dark, much like a teen girl who has a desire to grow in her relationship with God despite the circumstances around her. The roots require moisture — pure water — at all times. As Christians, we also need nutrition and to be constantly fed through studying the Bible. As you read this magazine, think of yourself as a beautiful Peristeria Orchid — filled with the Holy Ghost, growing in whatever circumstances you’re living with, whether they be in light or dark, and being fed with the pure truth of the Word of God.

seasonal favorites stuffed

stockings I

nstead of traditional wrapping pa- Sweet Tooth Stocking Stockings Stocking :) per, why not create themed gifts and Candy, cookies, ice cream gift card, Cute socks, leggings, and tights put them in cute stockings! cute toothbrush, travel size toothpaste

Christmas Stocking

Here are some great stocking stuffer Spa Stocking Various cute ornaments, Christmas gift ideas: Nail polish, lotion, face mask, wash socks or shirt, Christmas CDs or iTunes gift card cloth, shaving cream, bubble bath

Nail Stocking

Nail polish remover, cotton balls, Entertainment Stocking Correspondence Stocking nail polish, nail file, buffer, clippers, Book of crossword puzzles, deck of Various cute cards to use throughout top coat, nail decals cards, Pick-up Sticks, bookstore gift the year — birthday, holiday, thinking of you, get well soon, etc. — fun card, magazine Baking Stocking pens, fun stickers, stamps Cookie cutters, sprinkles, cupcake School Supply Stocking wrappers, food coloring, recipe cards Cute sticky notes, fun pens, markers, Staying Warm Stocking

Make-Up Stocking

Eye shadow, blush, lip gloss/stick

Movie Stocking

DVD, boxed candy, microwave popcorn, slipper socks

crayons, scissors, tape, cute index Slipper socks, hat, mittens, scarf cards, small notebook

Accessories Stocking

Necklace, earrings, bracelet, ring

Gift Card Stocking

$5 gift cards to favorite places — fast food, coffee and ice cream shops, Hair brush, comb, ponytail holders, bookstores, iTunes, clothing stores, headband, hair clips/embellisments, gas stations, etc. travel size shampoo/conditioner

Hair Care Stocking

edible

stuffed stockings

pizza stuffed stockings canned biscuit dough rolling pin stocking cookie cutter pizza sauce shredded mozzarella cheese favorite pizza toppings 2 Tbs. melted butter garlic salt 1. Open the can of biscuit dough on a clean counter top. Using a rolling pin, even out the dough so itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one continuous piece. 2. Cut out stockings from the dough using the cookie cutter. 3. On one stocking, spread some pizza sauce. Add shredded mozzarella cheese and pizza toppings. 4. Place a second stocking on top of the topping-covered stocking and seal the edges by pinching them. 5. Place the filled stockings on a cookie sheet and brush the top of each stocking with melted butter. Lightly sprinkle the buttered tops with garlic salt. 6. Bake in the oven according to the instructions included on the canned biscuit dough.

ham, cheese, & broccoli stuffed stockings

canned biscuit dough rolling pin stocking cookie cutter shredded monterey/colby cheese diced ham finely chopped broccoli 2 Tbs. melted butter garlic salt 1. Open the can of biscuit dough on a clean counter top. Using a rolling pin, even out the dough so itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one continuous piece. 2. Cut out stockings from the dough using the cookie cutter. 3. On one stocking, sprinkle the shredded cheese, diced ham, and chopped broccoli. 4. Place a second stocking on top of the topping-covered stocking and seal the edges by pinching them together. 5. Place the filled stockings on a cookie sheet and brush the top of each stocking with melted butter. Lightly sprinkle the buttered tops with garlic salt. 6. Bake in the oven according to the instructions included on the canned biscuit dough.

apple pie stuffed stockings canned biscuit dough rolling pin stocking cookie cutter favorite canned pie filling (apple, peach, cherry, etc.)

granulated sugar 1. Open the can of biscuit dough on a clean counter top. Using a rolling pin, even out the dough so itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one continuous piece. 2. Cut out stockings from the dough using the cookie cutter. 3. On one stocking, pour some of the canned pie filling. 4. Place a second stocking on top of the topping-covered stocking and seal the edges by pinching them together. 5. Place the filled stockings on a cookie sheet. Lightly sprinkle the tops of each stuffed stocking with granulated sugar. 6. Bake in the oven according to the instructions included on the canned biscuit dough.

seasonal favorites driving in a

winter

wonderland Snow is really pretty. I love the

light dusting on the trees, the “sound” of falling snow (it has a sound … trust me), and the undisturbed streets after a heavy snowfall. What I don’t love is sitting in the cold, wet snow waiting for my daddy to come save me when I’ve spun off into a snow bank.

Here are some tips for driving in a winter wonderland:

Slow down and increase the space between you and other vehicles. You’re much more likely to succumb to a snow bank if you’re driving faster than what the conditions allow and if you’re following the vehicle in front of you too closely.

freeze before the rest of the road. It’s a meteorological thing. Look it up!

Don’t use cruise control. You need to be the one in control of your vehicle and making corrections to speed according to the conditions you’re driving into. Keep a bag of sand and a shovel in the trunk of your car. If you get stuck, pouring sand by your tires can help you get traction. You might also need a shovel to dig away snow from various parts of your car if you happen to glide into a snow bank. That’s what my dad rescued me with that day! Always keep “survival gear.” I don’t know how many times I’ve heard my dad say that. Keep a sweatshirt, blanket, gloves, hat, scarf, cell phone car charger, a water bottle, etc., in the trunk of your car during the winter in case you run into some real trouble. If you’re stuck in a snow bank or your car breaks down and you’re without power to your vehicle, the joke will be on you when all you have to keep you warm is the cute little outfit you’re wearing at the time. Always keep jumper cables in your car. They usually run between $15-$50. Even if you don’t know how to use jumper cables, you’ll at least have them and someone around you can help you use them.

I grew up in Minnesota and ac- Pump your brakes. If you don’t tually got my learner’s permit have anti-lock brakes, slamming in February — the day of a big on them will cause your steering snowstorm. What did I do? I con- wheel to lock up, so not only will vinced my dad to take me driving you be trying to stop from slidfor the first time in a snow-cov- ing, but you’ll lose control of your ered, empty parking lot. In Min- steering. This was what happened nesota there’s no avoiding the during my first car-meets-snowwinter. You learn to drive it in. You bank experience. If you have antiembrace it. You consider yourself lock brakes it’s still a good idea to a better driver than half of the pump your brakes while trying to country since you are a fearless stop on slippery roads so that you road warrior who can blaze a trail reduce your risk of hydroplaning. in a snow dusting, a white apocalypse, or my all-time favorite — Drive carefully over bridges and overpasses. These tend to the “wintery mix.” 4

beating the winter blues

it’s a S.A.D. thing We can all relate to the anticipa-

tion that comes with a change in seasons. It’s time for new seasonal decorations around the house, new seasonal foods, and a new seasonal wardrobe. While some people like the quiet, cozy feel of winter, others don’t. In fact, they experience symptoms much like depression. It’s not an extended bout of PMS. It’s Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). According to MayoClinic. com, SAD is “is a cyclic, seasonal condition. This means that signs and symptoms come back and go away at the same time every year” (http://bit.ly/aChaAM). Symptoms can include a loss of energy and the ability to concentrate, depression, appetite changes, and sleepiness. It can also lead to withdrawing from social activities. For some people, the temperature drop, shorter days, and overcast skies of winter interrupt the natural rhythm of the body. Exercise and brief walks outside can help ease the symptoms as can opening the blinds in the house and exposing yourself to as much sunlight as possible. They even make full-spectrum lamps you can use during the winter in place of your average reading lamp. Whether it’s Seasonal Affective Disorder or you’re just in a funk, here are some things to try to kick the winter blues.

seasonal affective disorder

your day in prayer. Ask God to go before you this day and fill you with His joy and peace. Ask Him to use you to be a blessing to someone around you and to be your strength throughout the day. Eat well-balanced meals and avoid pig-out sessions. Get some exercise. Take a brisk walk outside, turn on an aerobics video, or do a series of sit-ups and push-ups. Your body will appreciate the stimulation and your mind and mood will love the seratonin hormone that is released when you exercise. Increase the amount of light in your surroundings. Keep the blinds open. Turn the lights on. Find a new cozy spot on the couch by a big window and do your homework, reading, and TV watching there. Find a balance between work, play, and alone time. It’s hard to balance school, jobs, family, church, and friends, but if you’re prone to the winter blues it’s important to find a balance. Be sure to include some alone time in the equation too so your mind and body can relax.

when you’re already prone to depression symptoms. Find friends who are lighthearted, easy to be around, and bring you joy. Develop a hobby. Since you won’t be spending time on the beach or meeting friends for ice cream, take time to develop a hobby. Buy some scrapbooking supplies, paint some flower pots, learn to crochet or embroider, take a cake decorating class, write a book, make jewelry or hair accessories, learn to sew, make a fleece blanket, learn web or graphic design. This will give you something to do in the evenings besides wish it was June, and by the time the seasons change again you’ll have mastered a new set of skills! Here is a great verse to memorize if you struggle during the winter months: “Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again — my Savior and my God!” (Psalm 43:5, NLT).

Plan little things to look forward to. Plan a few exciting events throughout the winter so you have something fun to anticipate.

Surround yourself with optimistic people. Debbie Downer is not Spend the first few minutes of fun to be with — especially not

seasonal favorites warm winter

beverages and their affect on us There’s nothing better on a winter

day than a nice, warm beverage! But your warm winter beverage could be having a greater affect on you than you think. Caffeine is a naturally occuring substance that is also artificially created and added to certain things we eat and drink. It is a stimulant, meaning it can cause you to be more alert. Everyone is affected by caffeine dif-

ferently. Some people get a pickme-up, others get jittery and experience a rapid heart beat, dizziness, or even headaches. And others don’t notice an affect at all. Effects of caffeine can last all the way up to six hours after it’s consumed. According to kidshealth.org, the average adult can handle about 200300 mg. of caffeine, but teens should avoid getting more than about 100

mg. a day. How many dark sodas, coffee, tea, and energy drinks do you consume during the day? You might want to keep a log every day to track your intake. You might be surprised at how much you consume! Check out the popular winter beverages listed on the next page and their average caffeine content.

7 Ways to Earn Extra Cash Before Christmas 1.

Start a house-decorating service and offer to decorate your neighbor’s homes for a fee.

Start a gift-wrapping service; either charge per package or charge per job.

Bake Christmas cookies and other treats for busy parents who may not have time to prepare something for their next holiday party.

Offer to babysit for families involved in holiday performances or for neighbors who are attending Christmas parties.

Look into holiday temp jobs – many retail stores hire specifically during the holiday season.

Become a personal shopper; have customers submit a list of presents they need and charge

for how much time it takes you to shop.

Use your craft skills to make unique presents that you can sell online or in your neighborhood before the holidays.

Eggnog

Apple Cider

Hot Chocolate

Tea

Latte

Coffee

Eggnog is a great decaffeinated way to enjoy a warm winter beverage. A typical eggnog is made up of milk, egg whites, sugar, cream, and spices like cinnamon and nutmeg. None of these ingredients contain caffeine, so you can be sure that the drink you are enjoying is buzz-free!

Hot tea is a delightful, low-cal/lowfat way to enjoy a hot winter beverage, but watch out! It still has caffeine in it. An average 8 oz. mug of brewed hot tea has between 40120 mg. of caffeine. The amount of caffeine in a cup of tea will depend on how dark you let the tea get. But tea is still a better choice than coffee if you are concerned about your caffeine intake.

This warm beverage isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just for the fall! Steep a bag of apple cider in a mug of hot water or warm up apple juice and add some cinnamon for a tasty, caffeine-free beverage. You could even add a hint of vanilla extract or a dallop of caramel ice cream topping.

Lattes are made from steamed milk and espresso, usually flavored with syrup shots. A typical latte has one shot of espresso, which has around 75 mg. of caffeine. So while lattes have less caffeine than coffee, it still has more than the other beverages weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve looked at.

Hot chocolate is a staple in the winter! But believe it or not, chocolate has a smidge of caffeine in it. Expect about 3-15 mg. of caffeine in an 8 oz. cup of cocoa, which is about the same amount that can be found in an 8 oz. cup of decaf coffee.

The caffeine in an 8 oz. cup of coffee will definitely add some giddyup to your step! The average caffeine content is between 100 and 200 mg. The amount depends on the strength of the coffee (hot water is used to brew the beans) and the type of bean used (bold vs. mild).

new year’s

resolutions What Should My Resolutions Be?

Dictionary.comactdeoffinreessorelvisong-

lution as “the an acor determining upon n, methtion or course of actio od, procedure, etc.”

Why Make Resolutio

ns?

Resolutions provide us with direction for our future an d focus for our daily actions. Th ey are a way for us to reflect on the past year, recognize our we aknesses, and identify ways we could improve over the next year.

• Make a list of areas in your life you want to improve in.

• Add to the list any knowledge or skills you want to gain. • Now add any bad habits you wish to break. • Step back and take a good look at your list. Can you pull out 3-4 themes that can become your resolutions? For example, maybe your list includes get homework done on time, make more time for daily devotions, be on time to school, etc. Your resolution could be to manage your time better in 2013.

How Do I Keep My Resolutions?

Make a plan! Setting a goal for the next year is awesome but if you don’t have a plan for making it happen, what’s the point? Write out practical steps of how you can achieve your goal and include what you are going to do when you are faced with obstacles. A great way to keep your resolutions is to set up a reward system for yourself. Create mile markers as you write your plan of action. Include what you will reward yourself with and what you will have to achieve before you give yourself that reward. For example, maybe you reward yourself with a movie or special treat after the first three consecutive days you’ve had of not being late. Maybe after that you reward yourself every two weeks of successful on time arrivals.

ed to anticihts to just give up. You ne ug tho g What If I Fail? gin ura co dis or ns you left ed with temptatio you from picking up where p sto t tha You’re human. You’ll be fac let n’t do t Bu it. times when you blow pate that there will be a few off and moving on. the next page! minute to jot them down on a e Tak 3? 201 for nd mi in Have a few resolutions

Resolution #1 In 2013 I resolve to:

Resolution #2 In 2013 I resolve to:

Resolution #3 In 2013 I resolve to:

I plan to do this by: I plan to do this by: I plan to do this by: I will track my progress by: I will track my progress by: I will track my progress by: My incentive will be:

My incentive will be: My incentive will be:

healthy tips

for the new

year

by alyseia sanchez

This time of the year is full of wonderful memories, cozy nights, family and friends, and food … lots and lots of food! Don’t get me wrong, I love the Christmas season and all the wonderful food its brings with it, but I do not like what it leaves behind on my body in January. If you are like me, try these easy tips and you will be able to enjoy the season’s food, but be more healthy for the new year as well!

During this season there are always snacks and sweets laying around. Before you put something in your mouth ask yourself, “Is this the only time I am going to be able to eat this particular food?” For example, if it is Grandma’s special cookies she only makes once a year then enjoy the cookie. If the answer is “no,” then put it down and walk away!

Before you put a piece of food in your mouth think about the amount of exercise it would take to burn that food! For example, there are 230 calories in an order of small fries from McDonalds. That would mean you would have to run for about 30 minutes just to burn off those fries! Opt for the side salad instead of the fries. It’s only 20 calories!

This time of year is also full of good seasonal television shows! Who loves “Rudolph” and “Santa Clause is Coming to Town”? During the commercials try this … see how many jumping jacks, sit ups, push-ups, and jump ropes you can do! To make it even more fun, turn it into a competition with your family and friends who are watching with you! Another way to get your heart rate up is to run up and down the stairs (but please be careful!)

When you pick your New Year’s resolutions this year include one that will help you get healthier!

First Corinthians 6:19,20 (NIV) says, “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” Honor God in everything you do and you can’t go wrong!

winter

word find ANGELS CANDY CAROLS CHRISTMAS COCOA COOKIES JESUS MANGER ORNAMENTS SHEPHERDS SKATING SKIING SLEDDING SNOW SNOWMAN STAR STOCKINGS TREE WINTER WISEMEN

ways to

fashion

tie a scarf

Whether your scarf is functional to keep you warm or simply fashionable to accessorize your outfit, here are some great ways to tie your scarf so you can find the perfect look for your ensemble!

For a great video tutorial, watch the 25 Ways to Wear a Scarf in 4.5 Minutes video on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LYAEz777AU

fashion

winter

fashion

Check out this Christmas Day outfit! The wide-legged jeans are comfortable but adorable and the red tunic with black cardigan is festive but still warm. The red earrings and long beaded black necklace are the perfect trimmings to this Christmas Day outfit.

christmas eve

christmas day

Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a great outfit for Christmas Eve! Wear a pair of dark-wash, straight-legged jeans and a black blouse underneath a cute jacket. Add some blingy jewelry and this outfit becomes dressy enough for a Christmas Eve service, but casual enough to sit around the tree eating pie and playing games with the family!

winter

fashion

fashion new year’s eve

Looking for a warm but fun outfit for New Year’s Eve? Wear a sweater tunic dress with bright colored tights to bring in the new year! Complete your outfit with some fun jewelry and an awesome pair of heels!

Be cute but a little more laid back on New Year’s Day. Wear relaxed jeans, a colorful top, a cute jacket and a fun scarf! Complete your outfit with some silver hoop earrings.

new year’s day

entertainment

center music jason gray

steven curtis chapman

Jason Gray | Christmas Stories: Repeat the Sounding Joy

Many of us have nativities proudly displayed during the Christmas season with images of the wise men, shepherds, and maybe even the innkeeper. But have you ever considered what thoughts and emotions they had on that miraculous Christmas Day? Jason Gray captures the perspective of all of these characters in his first holiday album, “Christmas Stories: Repeat the Sounding Joy.”

Gray collaborated with numerous artists on the album, including Nicole Nordeman, Joel Hanson, Andy Gullahorn, and Randall Goodgame. He will headline The Christmas Stories Tour in December. For more information, visit www.jasongraymusic.com.

Steven Curtis Chapman | Joy

Steven Curtis Chapman has proved himself as an artist time and time again, and his latest album is no exception. “Joy” is just what you need to get into the Christmas spirit.

the Christmas genre. “Joy” is his fourth Christmas record after “The Music of Christmas,” “Christmas is All in the Heart,” and “All I Really Want for Christmas.” This time he teamed up with producer Brent Milligan to create “Joy,” a title that has particular meaning to Chapman and his family after dealing with the loss of their daughter in 2008. Chapman will be performing songs from the album on the 12 Gifts of Christmas tour, presented by World Vision (12gifts.com).

The project features a 14-song collection with 11 original tunes interwoven with classic carols. Some The album, which was released songs are deeply heartfelt and at this fall, features six classic holitimes even childlike in their vulnera- day songs plus seven original bility, such as “Christmas for Jesus,” Chapman tunes. The hit single, sung by Gray’s youngest son, Gus. “Christmas Time Again,” has Others, like “Christmas is Coming,” already started hitting the airare bold anthems that will make you waves. It’s an upbeat, catchy want to deck the halls and break out tune that we can’t get enough of. Chapman is no stranger to the eggnog. 14

entertainment

center

put these on your

wish list this year! Lincoln Brewster

Steven Curtis Chapman

Jamie Grace

Francesca Battistelli Christmas

Jeremy Camp

Christmas: God With Us

Mandisa

Hillsong

Jason Gray

Joy

Joy to the World

Christmas Together

top 10 Christian songs I Need a Miracle Third Day

#1.

Good To Be

#6. JasonAlGriveay

Christmas Stories: Repeat the Sounding Joy

We Have A Savior

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Christmas

#2. Redey Wemeaedve Dadd Big

Need You Now Plumb

#7.

(for the week of December 8, 2012, billboard.com)

10,000 Reasons Matt Redman

#3.

e Disguis Jesus indon Heath Bran

#8.

One Thing Re mains Passion Featurin g

#4.

Kristian Stanfill

Me Without You Toby Mac

#9.

ness #5.MFoatrgthive ew West Your Love er Fails #10. Nev Newsboys

Need some pointers on how to choose what movies and television shows to watch and music to listen to? Download the free Music, Movies, and TV Hot Topic at tgm.ag.org.

tanning beds

We are not a fan of tannng beds. We can unde rstand the desire that teen girls have to stay warm and have a healthy glow even in the cold, but tanning beds are not the way to go. According to skincancer.org, “indoor ultraviolet (UV) tanners are 74 percent more likely to develop melanoma than those who have never tanned indoors. Those who begin tanning before the age of 35 increase their melanom a risk by 87 percent.” That’s just too much of a risk! If you want a healthy glow in the winter months to combat your pale skin, look into a lotion product that has a tanning agent in it. This will subtly tint your skin with each application and it’s a safe alternative to tanning under a lamp.

rule books that says there’s an age There is absolutely nothing in the s out h a hurry to grow up that you mis limit to sledding! Don’t be in suc and , sled a hill, with a snow-covered on how much fun you can have love We do we think about sledding? some time off with friends. What slide age of the wintery weather and it! We want you to take advant exercise common sense. :) down some hills! Just be sure to

sledding

We love it and we hate it. We love reality TV because it often gives us a glimpse into things we don’t know about or couldn’t experience on our own — cooking, adventures, trades and skills, etc. We love reality television when it is actually based on reality and when a personal claim to fame isn’t a factor. We don’t like reality television when the shows groom and promote selfishness, disrespect to parents, and sinfulness. So many reality shows give people a window of fame they feel they need to capitalize on, and as a result, they act out in ways they might not otherwise. Not to mention that a lot of reality shows breed sinfulness since participants are oftentimes uns aved, aren’t given restrictions on what’s acceptable and not, and operate under a different moral standard. Shows are more concerned about what gets good ratings — sometimes that means radical behavior.

reality TV

beauty bits of

staticky, flat winter hair

For lots of us girls, the coming of winter means several months of staticky, flat hair. So what’s the secret for maintaining lucious hair despite the dry weather? Hair stylist Ashley Tolbert has three awesome answers to share! washing less

ashing than you normally do. W “Washing your hair less dry your all the time can really the hair with hot water the amount of static.” scalp out and increase

dryer sheets “My favorite solution for static is dryer sheets. You literally smooth one over your hair from the crown of your head to the ends and the static is gone. And it leaves your hair smelling fresh.”

baby powder “If you are prone to oily hair you can rub a small amount of baby powder through the greasy spots. If that isn’t high powered enough, the re are a lot of dry shampoos on the market.” Ashley Tolbert is a hair stylist at an ecclectic salon called Mojo Pie in Springfield, Missouri. She’s the proud aunt to her nephew Jude and is excited to be an aunt for the second time in the spring.

why should I care about

politics?

The

elections are over and the adults around you are probably either really, really happy or really, really mad. This election seems to have left very few people feeling apathetic. However, you might have sat through this entire election season unmoved by the bombardment of yard signs, commercials, and direct mail pieces intended to sway voters one way or another — all because you haven’t reached the magical age of 18. But the fact is, you should care about politics. Why? Because the future depends on you, people have sacrificed a lot to give you that right, and because the Bible says so.

The future depends on you

You may not be able to vote right now, but you will be able to in a few short years. And when that time comes, you have the responsibility to be an informed voter. Yes, it’s fun to fill out

by katie mattiuzzo

the bubbles on the colorful ballot, but there are significant things at stake when you walk into that voting booth. If the upcoming generation of voters isn’t informed about the importance of voting, hasn’t been taught about the differences between the different political parties, and doesn’t understand about how policies affect their community and country for years to come, the future will be bleak. You should care about politics because the future depends on you and your knowledge.

People have made sacrifices

After several years of laying the groundwork, the 19th Amendment was added to the Constitution in 1920, granting women the right to vote. Think of that! Think about living in a time when your opinion didn’t matter and where you had no power to change anything. Thousands of people sacrificed a lot and participated in the amazing journey that al-

lowed us women the right to vote. Thousands and thousands of people over the years have committed their lives to the service of our country since its birth to protect your freedoms. These people are soldiers, sailors, and airmen. Not only have they opted for a life of frequent moves, deployments overseas, and physically and mentally exhausting work, but countless service members have died or have been seriously injured because they believe in what our country stands for. Our country stands for free thinking. Our country stands for freedom of speech. Our country stands for orderly process of elected officials. You should care about politics because people have made tremendous sacrifices to create a country where you can express your opinions through voting.

The Bible says so

What better reason to do some-

thing than that the Bible says so! Believe it or not, the Bible cares about our political choices. Proverbs 14:34 says “Godliness makes a nation great, but sin is a disgrace to any people” (NLT). So political leaders who uphold godly principles can cause their community to thrive, but political leaders who aren’t committed to a godly lifestyle can cause a community to fail. Think of the countless lives that could be saved by electing officials who have taken a pro-life stance against abortion. You have a part in each one of those lives because you care about politics and the policies that are enacted in your community. As Christians who see our world through heaven’s eyes, it is our responsibility to care about politics because the candidates elected into office will have an eternal impact through the decisions made. The Bible also says, “let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest

of blessing if we don’t give up” (Galatians 6:9, NLT). So when you find yourself buying into the notion that your vote doesn’t matter or that there’s too much corruption in politics for good to happen, remind yourself of this Scripture. Never get tired of doing what is good!

feature story

When all of the ballots have been counted, the dust clears from political rallies, and the candidate signs have been taken down, the elected officials who have assumed office have been put in place by God. Romans 13:1 says, “Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God” (NLT). It’s comforting to know that God has a master plan above and beyond what we can even see! As Christians we are tasked with doing our own research on candidates and issues, praying, and then acting according to our conscience. Ultimately, we should care about politics because God cared about politics.

Ways to pray for political leaders:

Pray that their eyes would be open to truth. Pray that they would be able to pass legislation that would honor the Lord. Pray that they would be surrounded by people who can give them wisdom. Pray that they would have insight into situations to be able to better protect their citizens. Pray that they would be open to hearing from the Lord. Pray that they would be able to build good relationships with other countries.

Ways to get involved now:

Read headline articles in the political sections of major news website such as FoxNews, NBCnews, etc. Ask your parents about their take on what’s going on. Pray for your elected officials. Go with your parent to vote to observe the process. Write letters to elected officials about issues that concern you. Go to a variety of political events from school board meetings to congressional rallies. Create a list of political issues and then write a statement next to each about your position on them. Pray as you process through your thoughts. Tour your city hall or state capitol building.

Dealing with a mean girl or think you might be a mean girl? This book nook section is for you! Check out these great resources that range from illustrated non-fiction books to more traditional chapter books with a psychological look at this growing problem. Mean Girls

by Hayley DiMarco

A must read for junior high and high schoolers who are dealing with mean girls. It gives advice girls need for the problem they never thought could go away.

Mean Girls Gone by Hayley DiMarco

This book is a heart and soul journey that goes a step further than the first book, Mean Girls. Trendy design, easy-to-read text, and tons of pull-out quotes, statistics, and Scriptures make this a great read for teen girls!

Pocket Bible Study & Journal: Mean

ways girls express anger, and so much more in this non-fiction chapter book.

This little booklet is full of Scripture that deals with the subject of mean girls. It will help you understand where mean comes from, challenge you, and help you forgive mean girls in your life. This Bible study journal is full of adorable drawings, reflection questions, and activities.

Queen Bees & Wannabes

by Hayley DiMarco

Odd Girl Out

by Rachel Simmons

This book dives into the “hidden culture of aggression in girls.” Learn about cliques, emotional abuse, the

by Rosalind Wiseman

This book was the basis for the movie, “Mean Girls.” It dives into the roles of each girl in a mean girl clique, the role of popularity, and the manipulative side of mean girls. And there are plenty of additional resources related to mean girls in the back of this 315 page non-fiction book.

quiz:

you might be a mean girl if...

While most of us might immediately shrug off the notion that we might be a mean girl, there are other subtle things we as girls tend to do that can definitely be considered mean girl behavior. Open your heart and mind as you read the following characteristics and see if you feel convicted by any of them. Circle yes or no. You might be a mean girl if: 1. The first thought that pops into your head about another girl is harsh or critical. Y N 2. You enjoy feeling superior to other girls around you. Y N 3. You find yourself making comments in front of other people for the sake of a good joke opportunity that cut another girl down. Y N 4. You notice a girl — or even a few girls — who don’t look like they belong to a group but you aren’t willing to include them in yours. Y N 5. You enjoy trying to get people on your side when a conflict is brewing. Y N 6. Your body language makes girls around you feel stupid when they talk to you. Y N Again, most of us would never consider ourselves to be mean girls, but I think if we were to all be honest we’d see a few mean girl red flags flapping in the breeze. Here’s a great verse for a culture that seems to breed mean girls: “Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance

for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future” (Ephesians 4:1-4, NLT). Read through each one of these sentences again and ask yourself why the behavior explained isn’t one that mean girls demonstrate. For example, what about a mean girl’s behavior shows that she’s not humble and gentle? What about a mean girl’s behavior shows that she’s not patient with others or willing to excuse the faults in others? Ask and answer this question for each sentence in the passage above. Let this heart-to-heart be an accountability check for all of us. The next time you go to make a joke (no matter how funny you think it will be), ask yourself if will be perceived by the other person the same way or if it will be a joke at the other person’s expense. The next time you see a girl who looks lost, ask her to join your group. Instead of campaigning to get people on “your side” during a conflict, take the high road and let it all work itself out. And the next time girls of any social standing talk to you, give them your full attention and make them feel valued.

hatever! That’s the response I used to give or think when my mom told me to grab a sweater, when a teacher told me areas for improvement, or a girlfriend rolled her eyes at my opinions. It’s not fun showing others respect sometimes — especially when we think we know better. And since we’re young, we always think we know everything there is to know. Newsflash girls: We don’t know everything and regardless of age or status, everyone (and I mean everyone) deserves to give and get respect. Now, respect is like compliments or gift-giving. You shouldn’t give it in order to receive it. Some people just weren’t brought up in an environment with lessons of respect. Many of you have heard the saying, “Respect your elders” from your 24 parents or Sunday school teacher. If you’ve heard that saying and you

believe in Jesus, then you are called to love others and submit to the authority in your lives — teachers, parents, the law, government, etc. Love and respect sums up God’s character, His motivation, how He lives, and how He deals with us. God has placed authority over us and commands us to “Pray for rulers and for all who have authority so that we can have quiet and peaceful lives full of worship and respect for God. This is good, and it pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to know the truth” (1 Timothy 2:2-4, NCV). Take Esther for example: She proved to have a godly and teachable spirit that also showed great strength and a willing obedience (respect). Her humility was different from those around her and ultimately caused her the favor to become queen. She showed us that remaining respectful and humble,

even in difficult circumstances, can often hold blessings and growth for ourselves and others. Then there’s Job, God gave Satan full control of Job’s life to prove Job’s loyalty to God. Not once did Job swerve in his faith or his respect for God. Even when Job’s family was killed and all was taken from him, he was faithful and still praised God. We would do well to emulate their godly attitudes in all areas of life, maintaining a positive attitude, combined with humility and a determined love to lean on God. Here are 4 ways to practice respect for authority:

1. Read and learn what God says about respecting authority. It’s important we understand

how much importance he places on our will and attitude. God will only give us authority (positions of leadership) when our attitude is

willing to be put under authority.

feature story

or an elder.

authority over you. Titus 3:1,2 (NKJV)

2. Pray for those in authority. Even with these four tips, it can says, “Remind them to be subject to

sometimes feel like those in authority just pile it on, and it can be hard to stand. But there is no excuse to be disrespectful. Even the President of the United States an3. Set the level of respect for swers to Congress, the American those around you. Show your people, and the Supreme Court. friends, co-workers, and family how You have parents, teachers, coachto submit to authority for the right es, and pastors at church who are reasons and in the right way. Don’t in authority over you. participate in gossip or criticism of those in authority. Constructive Sometimes we expect respect conversations can be helpful under from someone before we choose the right circumstances — just be to respect them. While this is totally wrong to do, it is common careful as to not be disrespectful. and easy to understand. Some of 4. Understand that you may not you may have parents who are not always agree with authority. Your good parents (or at least it can feel authority figure may not have the that way) — but the Bible still says same views as you, may take things to respect them. Our government too seriously, plays favorites, etc., but might not be “Christian,” but we the Bible is clear that respecting au- are still supposed to respect laws thority is important — it’s demanded that don’t cause us to deny Christ. of us by God as the right thing to do. Respect isn’t something you wait to Unless those in authority above you give until someone proves themare doing something wrong, unethi- selves; it’s something you’re comcal, or questionable, first pray about manded by God to give to those in it and talk about it with your parents

Ask God to guide them as they lead and fulfill their duties. Pray that their hearts seek God and their mind has discernment.

rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men.” The godly way of life begins in our attitude toward others. In every area of life we should treat others with kindness, love, and respect. Our relationship with God can be compared with how we treat others. Proper development of these relationships must involve love, respect, honor, action, and effort. Like any relationship, its success also requires a major investment of time in prayer and positive actions. You see, respect isn’t a suggestion or the polite thing to do – it’s expected of us. Ashlee graduated from Girls Ministries as a Silver Medalist in June 2008. Ashlee has attended Azusa Pacific University, coordinated international events with Invisible Children, and was a contributing author for Foundation Restoration. Currently, she is the Social Media Manager for SoCal Girls Ministries, a writer for The Be.Loved Blog, and a Mar-

authority

figures

As a teenager it can sometimes feel as though you are caught between two worlds — childhood and adulthood. Because you are developing independence it’s easy to find yourself challenging the authority figures around you. Which authority figure(s) in your life do you find it most difficult to respect?

to view the rest of this Hot Topic, visit tgm.ag.org/hottopic

Read Titus 3:1,2 What are some examples of authority figures? Talk about the different attitudes and actions we’re supposed to demonstrate. What do they each mean? Read Romans 13:1,2

count on

Clarissa

she beat Jessica out for the lead female role, but Jessica didn’t even get a speaking role at all. But they did have one ensemble larissa couldn’t wait for the Christthey had to sing in together. mas production at church. She had been practicing her lines for weeks The evening of the first of eight persince finding out after the rigorous formances, Clarissa sat backstage and audition that she had landed a lead primped and prepped. She found a role. Not only was it a speaking role, quiet corner and practiced her facial but she’d be singing too. expressions in a compact mirror. She sang a few warm-up exercises to get Clarissa had such lofty thoughts her vocal chords ready for an hour of this production launching her and a half production. performance career. She had lofty thoughts of colleges seeking her When it was time for their ensemble, out for their fine arts departments Clarissa, Jessica, and the two male voafter getting wind of her stellar per- calists came running out on stage and formance, of the news media report- took their positions on the platform. ing on her as being the community’s Clarissa took the few seconds before newest budding talent, and of being the lights came on to make sure there able to finally shove it all in the face wasn’t any lipstick on her teeth, that of that stuck-up, mean-spirited Jes- her hair was tucked perfectly behind sica Walden who thought she was her ears, and that her posture comGod’s gift to humanity. Not only did municated her confidence.

“Humility”

The audience applauded the previous song and the lights popped on. It was time! The orchestra began to play an awesome swing version of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen and Clarissa, Jessica, and the guys began to move according to the choreography they had been learning for weeks. “God bless ye merry gentlemen let nothing ye dismay ... remember Christ our Savior was born on Christmas day...” Just then, mere measures into the song, Clarissa tripped. She bit it. She biffed. Her left foot is slightly smaller than her right food, and it chose this moment in all of time and space to slip out of her shoe. Her three-inch platform shoe. The color drained out of Clarissa’s face and her expression changed to horror. What should I do? Clarissa thought. If I stop and try to get my shoe everyone in the audience is going to know! But if I ignore it and try to go on I’ll be on my tip-toes on my left food for the rest of the song. “... to save us all from Satan’s pow’r when we were gone astray...” Jessica Walden looked over and noticed Clarissa’s shoe. Abandoned. All alone on the leveled staging towards the right side of the platform. She tried her hardest to make eyecontact with Clarissa. “... oh tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy ...” Fortunately, the platform and the shoe were both black, so Jessica didn’t think

the audience could see it. “... ohhh tidings of comfort and joy ...” The key change was coming up — perfect timing in the song for Clarissa to be able to get her shoe back on since their choreography would position them back towards that part of the stage. Jessica made eye contact with Clarissa, and with an over-exaggerated leg-pat, seemingly to keep tempo, she gestured to Clarissa that her shoe was right behind her. Jessica subtly kicked it towards Clarissa and without skipping a beat, Clarissa slid her foot back into the shoe and breathed a sigh of relief. The song ended and they hustled off stage where the girls exploded with sighs of relief and nervous giggles. “I cannot believe that happened!” Clarissa exclaimed.

“How did that even happen?” Jessica “I know! It’s ridiculous. But I’m definitely eating humble pie right now questioned. after that awful shoe incident!” Clar“I have two different sized feet! And issa said. “I’m really sorry for how I’ve I’m a clutz. That’s how!” Clarissa ex- felt towards you and treated you.” plained. “Ha, you’re forgiven. Forgive me The girls started walking back to too?” Jessica pleaded. their warm-up room and Clarissa allowed the feeling of humility to wash “Totally,” Clarissa replied. over her. They opened the door to their “Jessica, I have a confession to make. warm-up room, grabbed a piece I’ve been a snot. I’ve had this jeal- of pizza that was waiting for them, ousy and competitive spirit in me for and watched the rest of the performonths now and all I wanted to do mance that was being streamed to was beat you,” Clarisssa admited. “I their television. Clarissa’s thoughts was really excited that I got the lead drifted from her lofty plans of fame in the Christmas production and you and stardom to meeting up with her family after the performance, homedidn’t. I’m so sorry.” work that was still unfinished, winJessica awkwardly giggled. “Well I’m ter break plans, chores around the sorry too because I’ve been behav- house, feeding the dog, painting her ing the exact same way towards you nails, needing to go to bed early, the these past few months. What is it B- she got on that math test.... about us girls that makes us natural enemies?!”

tales truly confident of the

“I walked around one day during my eighth-grade year with a giant rip in my pants until someone pointed it out to me. I played it off saying it was supposed to be like that ... exposing my underwear ... and then freaked out in the bathroom!” “After leaving the airport bathroom with my dress tucked into my panty hose (unbeknownst to me, obviously), I walked the entire length of the airport to pick up my baggage and half-way back when a woman came running frantically toward me across the walkpath shouting in a thick Tennessee accent, ‘Honey ... oh my ... honey! Your dress is tucked into your panty hose!’ while simultaneously reaching to untuck it for me. And all of this was right in front of the in-airport McDonalds.” “I was driving home after work one day, about to turn left, and instead of turning on my blinker I held up my garage door opener and clicked it.” “I was on the walkway into the airplane and an older woman was chatting with her friend saying how she hates to chit-chat on the plane and she didn’t know why. So, I piped up (I did not know them at all) and said that most people are so busy just trying to get to the airport that they just need that time to decompose! Oops! I meant to say decompress! So, that led to a lively discussion as to whether we will decompress first or decompose!” “When taking the driving test to get my license for the first time, the officer instructed me to take a left onto the highway. I eased over into the turn lane and had to stop for the light. I then reached to put on my indicator light, and popped the gear shift (on the steering column) into neutral instead of tapping the indicator shifter down. Really glad I was at a stop light and not going 60 on the highway trying to change lanes. On a scary note, I think I got my permit anyway. : )“ “I rode up and down in the elevator once because I forgot to push the button to my floor. I could not figure out what was going on!”

if you don’t

stand for something

t’s been said that if you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything. What does that even mean? Judges 21:25 sums up the struggle that went on during the entire Book of Judges. “In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as they saw fit.” In Bible times the people were ruled by kings who made and enforced the laws of the land and provided order. But during this particular time period in the book of Judges there was no king, which created chaos, left people to judge right from wrong on their own, and allowed injustice to go unpunished. No one stood for the truth so they fell for everything. When we don’t believe that there is absolute truth or a final authority — that God is the only God, that Scripture is the Word of God and is true, word for word, that sin is in our human nature and separates us from

God — we lose the ability to decipher right from wrong. Our flawed human thoughts and opinions become the compass guiding us in our decisions and our judgment gets clouded. We start this “well it may not be okay for you but I don’t see anything wrong with it” rationalizing and before long, we’re following our own religion of man-made thoughts and beliefs, picking and choosing what we support and what we frown upon like it’s an a la carte menu … supporting abortion in the instance of rape and sex before marriage when you know you’re going to marry the person, but not supporting homosexuality. Or supporting an occasional glass of wine or a beer with friends in a controlled environment like your parent’s home, but not supporting clubbing. The Bible is our source for absolute truth. Second Timothy 3:16 talks about how all Scripture is God-

breathed, Psalm 119:160 declares “all your words are true” (referring to God), and John 17:17 says that the Word is truth. We can trust the words in the Bible and apply them to our lives. We can absorb them and let them be our compass for the way we respond to culture.

“the Bible is our source for

absolute truth”

What are you standing for? Are you grounded in your faith? Does your position on homosexuality, abortion, sex before marriage, or dating a non-believer match up with your source for truth — the Bible? What about your belief in water baptism, salvation, God’s grace, or the baptism in the Holy Spirit? Devote some time this week to take a stand on these issues. You

might have a lot of great thoughts, but if someone were to ask you where you stood you’d flounder with an answer. Grab a Bible with a good concordance and read up on a few of these topics. Pray over them. Journal about them.

here’s what I

If you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything. Your mind will be too open. You’ll be vulnerable to being misled. You’ll be too eager to trade in what you believed last week for the new thing to believe this week. Find out what

feature story the Bible, your source for absolute truth, says about the topics you see in our culture today.

stand for

This is what I believe about homosexuality: __________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________

Here’s what Scripture verse(s) I found supporting this stance: ___________________________________________

This is what I believe about sex before marriage: _____________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ Here’s what Scripture verse(s) I found supporting this stance: ___________________________________________

This is what I believe about alcohol consumption: ____________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ Here’s what Scripture verse(s) I found supporting this stance: ___________________________________________

This is what I believe about abortion: _______________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ Here’s what Scripture verse(s) I found supporting this stance: ___________________________________________

This is what I believe about other religions: __________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ Here’s what Scripture verse(s) I found supporting this stance: ___________________________________________

tough

question

Q.Is worrying a sin?

ferently than what it did or you took things into your own hands without asking for advice from someone or without spending adequate time in prayer.

Sin

Perhaps your anxiety is stemming from your own sin. You might be worried about someone finding out, what the consequences might be, or about hurting someone you love — God being one of them! If you search the Scriptures for passages on worrying you’ll find numersous stateHere are several Scrip- ments instructing us not to worry. But ture passages that talk in those passages we are not given an about worrying: indication that worry in and of itself is an actual sin. “Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a Here are just a few causes of worry: person up” (Proverbs 12:25, NLT).

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done” (Philippians 4:6, NLT) “Then, turning to his disciples, Jesus said, ‘That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life — whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear. For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing. Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?’” (Luke 12:22-26, NLT).

So while a cause of worry might be sin, worry itself is not sin. However, worry can definitely hinder our spiritual growth. Imagine trying to move forward thoughout your day with massive weights chained to your ankles. You’re being held back. That’s what worry is like to a Christian’s walk with the Lord. You’re not doing anything wrong with chained weights around your ankles, but you’re hindering yourself from being able to be proUncertainty Big decisions, financial stressors, trag- ductive during the day. edies — all of this and more can cause When we allow worry to take hold of us to worry. It can be hard to move us, we’re not allowing ourselves to be forward with confidence and peace open and ready to move forward with when we’re faced with situations we our relationship with the Lord. We’re don’t understand or don’t know how basically telling the Lord that we’re they will be resolved. not sure that He’s in control and that we’d rather hold onto our situation Conflict Relational conflict can cause us to and allow it to consume us than turn worry. We worry about damaging or it over to Him. How could you expect losing that relationship. We worry to experience spiritual growth in your about what to say and when to say life if you’re struggling with whether it. We worry about awkwardness and or not you trust God? about whether the relationship can be Good news though — there’s a short restored. solution! “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you” Bad Decisions We’ve all made bad decisions. Maybe (1Peter 5:7, NLT). Prayer takes our foyou saw the situation playing out dif- cus off our worry and refocuses us on the One who is in control.

find us on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/TeenGirlMinistries

like,love,&dating

5things

dating I’ve learned about

I’ve been there more times than I’m

proud to admit — sitting with a pint of ice cream, pouring over my journal, wishing there was a rule book for dating. While I’m sure there’s an entire section of Barnes & Noble devoted to giving advice to girls going through heartbreak, a lot of the lessons I’ve learned in dating have come the hard way – from experience. Here are some pieces of truth I’ve learned over the years:

Relationships can be more idealistic than realistic. Last year I

went to 12 weddings. That also includes 12 bridal showers, 12 personal showers, and 12 bachelorette parties. For a majority of those weddings I was single, moping while my friends were in their honeymoon bliss. But this year, it’s become obvious that relationships aren’t always easy. My friends have learned in time that relationships take an extreme amount of patience, selflessness, and discipline to stay healthy.

by jennie olson

Ignore social pressure; everyone’s be true, a guy can only timing is different. A phrase that conceal his true colors for so long I’ve really come to hate is “late bloomer.” It suggests that there’s something wrong with you if you don’t have a serious relationship in high school or college. After college, it suggests you missed an opportunity by not settling for your “ring by spring.” But I’ve learned that timing can make all the difference in relationships, and sometimes you learn more about yourself during your single moments than you ever do in a relationship. Don’t spend your time worrying about keeping up with those around you.

Pay attention to the guy’s reputation. It can be very easy to jus-

tify dating a bad boy. We all think he’s just misunderstood, or people judge him too quickly, or no one knows what terrible things he’s gone through in life. While all of that may

before the truth comes out. If he’s manipulative, isolates you from your family or friends, or constantly acts like a victim — run.

Don’t seem desperate. There’s

nothing more attractive than a girl who knows who she is and what she wants. Guys are drawn to confident women who put their standards above their desire to be wanted. Work on being the most ideal version of you possible, and any guy worth your time will naturally take notice.

Being alone can be awesome.

Some of my favorite memories have been made when I was the most single I’ve ever been. Take time to appreciate the freedom that comes with being unattached. Develop new hobbies, meet new friends, turn your phone off, and pick up some skills that could enhance your future.

you said it! How can you tell when a girl likes a guy?

“When she talks about him often, when she gets embarrassed when the guy looks at her directly, and when she either avoids direct contact or tries hard to get it.” — Monica, 17

What would you do if you & your best friend liked the same guy? “No guy is worth losing a friendship. Let things be as it is. If the guy chooses one of you, then it is as it is. Good friends would support one another.” — Monica, 17 “We would both agree not to worry about it and to stay friends and support each other either way. Neither of

How can you avoid coming across like a flirt? “You cannot get all giddy and silly around guys,” — Savannah, 13 “You cannot always talk about a certain guy. And don’t date a lot of people. Also, spend more time with girlfriends.” — Taylor, 12

“I can usually tell when another girl likes a guy if she’s always trying to be near him, if she flirts with him, and if her eyes ‘smile’ when he is mentioned.” — Taylor, 17

“A girl likes a guy when she teases him, talks to him excessively, and talks about him. You feel butterflies inside when you see him or hear his name.” — Lauren, 15

“She will go out of her way to talk to him. She might be flirty and giggly and she always reply to his text.” — Sara, 16

“They follow them and always text him and talk to him. They always want to be around him but also might act shy.” — Savannah, 13

“I can tell when a girl likes a guy because she acts nervous when she is about to talk to the guy. Sometimes she’ll ask someone else to come up and talk to the guy with her and lots of flirting will happen because she is nervous.” — Michaela, 15

“When she smiles and talks to him a lot” — Jenna, 13 “They flirt, smile, laugh, hug, and always talk to them. They also tell and brag to their friends about them.” — Taylor, 12

us would flirt with him. We would let pecially at a young age. You should things just be. No guy is worth losing cherish your friendships. In the end, a friendship over.” — Taylor, 17 those are the ones that will be there for you when you need support.” — “Let the friend have him. It isn’t that Catherine, 16 important.” — Lindsay, 16 “Be an adult and talk to her about it.” “Depending on the issue, neither — Tia, 16 date the guy.” — Sara, 16 “Declare him off limits. It’s not worth “If you think your best friend likes it if it could ruin the friendship that is the same guy you do, you have to there.” — Michaela, 15 think about what relationship matters more to you. Your relationship “Agree that neither of us could date with your best friend or a crush on him and not let them get in the way. a guy? I personally would not throw Try to support each other and make away a friendship for a guy that I may sure the guy doesn’t get in the way.” or may not even know very well, es- — Taylor, 12 “Avoid touching a guy too much. “To avoid coming across as a flirt, Avoid major flirty comments or sexual you should just be aware of the way references.” — Monica, 17 you might look to others. If you saw another girl acting the way you are, “Don’t be clingy or always talking what would you about guys. Have a life. Also, don’t think of them?” be flirty with every guy you meet or — Catherine, 16 ask for their numbers. It’s sketchy. Don’t do it!” — Taylor, 17 “Stay calm and remember that “Don’t always be touchy with a guy. you might end up In your texting, don’t always add acting like a fool if smiley faces.” — Sara, 16 you over do it. Be “Don’t talk to boys like you’re in love yourself because then he’ll like you for you.” — Michaela, 15 with them all.” —Tia, 16

Teen Girl Daybook

dec em ber

mon d a y

tuesday

w e dn e s d a y

Look at a map of Israel to see where the cities mentioned in the Christmas story are located — Bethlehem, Nazareth, etc.

Do some research — what is the meaning of the name Immanuel? What is the significance of this name being used here?

Micah 5:2

Isaiah 7:14

Jesus was the greatest 5 gift. He gave freedom from sin and a life in heaven for those who accepted the gift. Make and give a gift to someone who isn’t expecting it.

th u rs da y

friday

6 Jesus is a descendant of Abraham. Talk about a blessed family! Make a list of the good things you bring to your family.

Isaiah 9:6

Genesis 12:1-3

7 Make a Christmas craft while drinking hot cocoa. Think about how this passage relates to the life and purpose of Jesus.

Leviticus 1:1-4

the b i rth of Je su s fore told 10

Has God ever asked you to do something that was life-changing and against what culture says is acceptable?

Luke 1:26-33

Journal — what can you learn about Mary’s attitude and response to what the angel told her?

Invite a friend over to make Christmas cookies. Talk about a time when obeying God was really difficult but you chose to trust Him.

God is so good to give us confirmation when He calls us to something. Looking back, what confirmation has He given you for different events in your life?

Joseph demonstrated humility. He didn’t need to be the center of attention, the promise of a reward, or to argue with God. He was humble. Do you act humbly?

Luke 1:34-38

Matthew 1:18,19

Matthew 1:20-23

Matthew 1:24,25

t he a ng el a p p ears to mary an d jose ph 17

Grab a friend or two and watch the movie A Nativity Story.

Put on some Christmas music and thank God for sending His Son!

Cut apart Christmas cards from past years and make a new card for someone special. Use the words of the angels on it — Glory to God in the highest.

Luke 2:1-5

Luke 2:6,7

Luke 2:8-14

Think of a time when you were looking for something. Can you imagine the joy and excitement the shepherds felt when they found baby Jesus?

Luke 2:15,16

Throughout the next few weeks, be more vocal about how amazing God is, how He’s changed your life, and what Christmas really means.

Luke 2:17-20

Je su s is born 22

Cut out and decorate paper snowflakes. Use gold glitter for one of them to represent the star the magi followed to find Jesus.

Journal — write about a time when the Lord took you on a journey. How did you feel when it started? What did you learn? How did you feel when it was over?

Matthew 2:1,2

Matthew 2:3-9

Like the magi, what can 24 you offer to God? Volunteer one day a week somewhere? Spend more time reading the Bible and praying?

25 Make a list of other instances in the Bible when God spoke to people in their dreams.

26 Spend some time in prayer thanking God for sending His Son. Ask that He would use you to do amazing things this next year.

Matthew 2:10-12

Matthew 2:13-16

Matthew 2:19-23

ki ng herod an d th e magi 31

Make a list of people in your life who need Jesus. Make an effort to pray each day for their salvation. Tell them you prayed for them.

John 12:46 36

wha t d oes th is me an for u s? c