FAMILY STORIES

healthy kids up from nowhere”—but the most powerful stories are those that show both the peaks and the valleys, the hilarious escapades and deep losses. “Even simply hearing what other people wish they could have done differently helps to offer children a broader perspective to current experiences,” says Carrie Krawiec, a family therapist at Birmingham Maple Clinic, in Troy, Michigan. Accounts of the deepest trauma also prove formative: Knowing how their great-grandparents survived the Holocaust gave young adults a sense of gratitude, pride, courage and a greater religious commitment, a University of Pennsylvania study found. Stories unfold easily at holiday dinners and during long car rides; FAMILY STORIES even during an ordinary dinner, some kind of story—“Guess what happened today at the store?”— occurs about every five minutes, Help Kids Cope During Tough Times Fivush’s research shows. But summer vacation or days spent together inside a house provide by Ronica O’Hara a special opportunity for kids I n these challenging times as our children struggle to cope with a swiftly changing world, one of the best things of their family’s narratives have a greater sense of control over their lives, more self-esteem, better grades, higher social to dive deeper into their family background. For example, they can write an essay about a grandparent or aunt, write and direct a play with siblings, we can do is simply to let them know what competence, less anxiety and depression, make a scrapbook, read history or novels strong stuff they come from. Decades of and fewer behavior problems. After 9/11, to study events that took place during a research show that children that know children that tested high in measures of specific time period, write a song or story their family’s stories—especially how their family narratives proved to be more resilfrom the ancestor’s point of view, research parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and ient and less stressed. and draw a family tree or create a miniother forebears overcame adversity—have Family stories can be of loss—“Once documentary based on an interview with the ability to handle societal and personal we had it all”—or of triumph—“We came an older relative. trauma better. This is the quiz used in family narra

“Family stories help children feel safe, secure and grounded,” says psychology professor Robyn Fivush, Ph.D., director of Getting Started with Family Narratives the Family Narratives Lab at Emory University, in Atlanta. “The stories provide a sense that they belong to something larger Read more about family narratives at Robyn Fivush’s Psychology Today blog: than themselves.” In the midst of unsettling PsychologyToday.com/intl/blog/the-stories-our-lives events, she says it’s especially important for Ideas for writing and craft projects: Tinyurl.com/ children to know that the family has been CreatingAFamilyNarrative through hard times before and persevered. Emory research shows that children, teens and young adults that know more Questions kids can ask family grownups: com/ClassroomRoots Tinyurl.

tive research, but Fivush cautions that the 20 questions are only a starting point, and many more can be created. Nor does getting the facts exactly right matter—those can easily be in dispute among family members. “It is the telling, the sharing and the listening that is more important than the story itself,” she says.

Do you know how your parents met? Do you know where your mother grew up? Do you know where your father grew up? Do you know where some of your grandparents grew up? Do you know where some of your grandparents met? Do you know where your parents were married? Do you know what went on when you were being born? Do you know the source of your name? Do you know some things about what happened when your brothers or sisters were being born? Do you know which person in your family you look most like? Do you know which person in the family you act most like? Do you know some of the illnesses and injuries that your parents experienced when they were younger? Do you know some of the lessons that your parents learned from good or bad experiences? Do you know some things that happened to your mom or dad when they were in school? Do you know the national or ethnic background of your family? Do you know some of the jobs that your parents had when they were young? Do you know some awards that your parents received when they were young? Do you know the names of the schools that your mom went to? Do you know the names of the schools that your dad went to? Do you know about a relative whose face “froze” in a grumpy position because he or she did not smile enough?

Ronica A. O’Hara is a Denver-based health writer. Connect at OHaraRonica@gmail.com. Servicio Dental de Calidad Odontología Láser (Waterlose) para tratamiento sin dolor Sistema de Evaluación de Cáncer Oral (Velscope) Sistema de Blanqueado (Zoom) Odontología Estética y Familiar Endodoncia Biológica Restauracion de Espacios Edéntulos con Implantes Dentales Eliminación de Tóxicos por Restauraciones Metálicas Restauraciones y Puentes No Metálicos, en Resina, Cerámica o Zirconia

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