14 minute read
A Spiritual Winter
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—Lauri Ingram
By Lauri Ingram
Winter here in the northeast is a time of barren trees, gray colors, and cold, biting wind. It appears that everything is dormant. The leaves are off the trees, and the flowers have withered and turned brown. Many days, the sky is gray. Often our spirits, our essence—our soul, if you will—also go through a period of winter. Perhaps due to decisions we make, perhaps due to events out of our control. Sometimes we go through a spiritual winter for no reason except as a season of life. This is called many things, such as the dark night of the soul, where we remain engaged in our lives but unmoored, with no purpose, no meaning, and a loss of connection to our spiritual self.
The Winter of Our Physical World
When our physical world is in winter, it is a time of reflection and rest. We may not be as active as at other times of the year. The shorter hours of sunlight often make it seem our days are shrouded in darkness. We long for spring but must endure the cold. But there are miracles happening beneath the surface. Science has measured that beneath the ground, nutrients are being created by microbes and fungi so when the plants are ready to emerge in the spring, they have nutrients available to them. So then, when we feel lost, perhaps without purpose and our lives feeling devoid of meaning, what is really happening? This is often a period not of depression, but of stripping away of long-held beliefs. We often question so much of what has come before us. Embracing these times in our lives with curiosity and compassion may not be easy unless we have found a spiritual companion or director who can help us be with the not knowing, be with the darkness, and be with the nothingness that often accompanies this winter of the soul. There have been several times in my life when I have been in this winter. As someone who also had periods of depression, there is a difference. My spiritual winters, my dark nights, were periods in my life where I felt incredibly lost. It was as if there was something calling me, but I could not hear it. I felt as if the beliefs I had grown up with were no longer my truth, but I did not have a sense of what was my truth. I felt as if I was searching for a key to unlock a door that would allow me to emerge into a new world, one of sunshine and warmth and growth and color…spring.
You Can Find Your Why in Your Winter
These years of my life are what called me to become a spiritual counselor, someone who companions others through their spiritual journey. It may include dismantling and healing old wounds from a religious upbringing, it may mean exploring and contemplating the “why” of life. The process of uncovering what spirituality is to each of us because it is very personal and can be very different. It often means becoming comfortable with not knowing the answers, but developing an inner guidance system, wisdom, that is the anchor to our essence and our spirit. As I get older, I find myself more curious than ever as I companion others through their journey. There is no easy way through winter. We endure the cold and seek warmth and companionship. We rest in what brings us comfort and joy when we are able. We watch the days with curiosity, watching the subtle changes as we move into spring. We notice the hours of light lengthen, the sun feels a bit warmer and brighter. We are mindful and compassionate to all that is happening outside, and within.
Unlock the Door to Spring
If I have learned anything on my journey, it is that I do not have all the answers, but I know there are ways to navigate life. The times when we are in the flow of spirit and everything is going wonderfully are glorious! The periods when all seems to be unraveling can be difficult without support and companionship. I do not believe we are on this earth to receive answers to all our questions, but rather to become comfortable with the mystery of life. To see that there is beauty in the not knowing, the darkness, and the unfolding of what emerges after winter. To know that the process of a spiritual winter brings us to a place where perhaps there are no more questions, but an acceptance of the mystery of life. The seasons change and winters come and go. Our spiritual winters will also come and go, and we build resilience and tools to be our own friend during those moments of not knowing. Fellow travelers show up in our lives to be our companion, to hold space as we search for the key to unlock that door to spring.
Ordained by One Spirit Interfaith Seminary and as a certified Interspiritual Counselor, I currently offer spiritual coaching and creativity sessions in person in my Bethany office, as well as by phone and Zoom. You can learn more about me at www.lauriingram.com, email me at lauri@ lauriingram.com or call 203.435.5650. See ad on page 23 > Proven solutions using acupuncture, herbal medicine, and nutrition to heal the whole person. Specializing in Women’s Health & Nutrition
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Bashert:
Meant to Be
— Sharon Sklar, BFA, LMT, CAR
By Sharon Sklar, BFA, LMT, CAR
When I was a teenager, I often heard my mom say, “It was bashert.” Saying it seemed to finalize a conversation with head nodding and a collective “oooh.” The loose translation of this Yiddish expression is “meant to be.” It was used commonly to denote two people finding one another—finding their soulmate and to mark a fortuitous occasion or a series of events. In my own vernacular, I would say it was like going with the flow. If all systems are “go,” the world is aligned and everything runs smoothly, we would experience a perfect, easy situation like water rolling downstream. What a great feeling it is to have no resistance and feel the power of the energy of the universe. You know it when you experience it. It could be fleeting—we only wish we could constantly live in that state of being.
The Perfect Day
In contrast to my hectic, over-planned schedule, I recently had a perfect day. I was half an hour late to drive to Brooklyn to my great-niece Fern’s second birthday party. They had recently moved and I had no idea where I was going, so I plugged in my GPS and followed directions to several highways and over bridges, got stuck in traffic, and somehow managed to arrive early. I found a free parking space on the next block instead of paying $35 at the local parking garage. Being twenty minutes early, I was able to help set up for the party. Just the day before, a friend from Stamford I hadn’t seen for a while invited me to come to a small impromptu gathering. By some strange coincidence, I was driving to New York that very day and going right by her exit. After little Fern’s party, I was able to stop at my friend’s home, reconnect and help her prepare for her party. It was a wonderful, heartfelt visit. My trip home was uneventful and I arrived to pick up my dogs at a friend’s house on time. It was all so perfect—it was bashert.
Everything Is Energy
There is a flow we tap into when we’re in sync with the universe. That flow was there when I was twenty-two and was in the middle of getting my second of ten Rolfing® sessions, when I knew I would become a Rolfer and do this work for the rest of my life. Sometimes we just need to be quiet and calm enough to experience that flow. We are supported in many ways—we’re not just dropped onto this earth with no guidance. Everything is made up of energy. Remember in science class, rubbing your hands together briskly and feeling the energy between them? When I was a Girl Scout, I was told to hug a tree if I was tired while hiking in the woods because it would invigorate me. The branches reach up toward the sun while the roots dig deep into the earth. The trunk is a shaft of energy. The food we eat can give us that same boost of energy if we make good choices and eat fresh, plant-based, not overly processed, dead foods. Relying on sweet or sugar-laden foods for a boost creates the opposite reaction (a sugar high that leads to a sugar low) as well as an inflammatory response in the body. Achy joints and stiff muscles are a by-product of what you consume in many cases.
Balance, Unblock, and Shift Your Intention
I recently went through a 90-day eating challenge that led me to change the way I eat. Participants were asked to not give up certain foods but to
take a break from eating certain things in a particular order. Come to find out, my mind ran my consumption, and my consumption ran my body. Previously addicted to sugar and cheese, I am now not eating them, have lost weight, and have more stamina and self-control than ever before in my life. I don’t have cravings and love the freedom I continue to experience. I find that the more neutral and freer from chronic imbalance my body is, the better I feel. That’s what I tell my Rolfing® clients. The more out of balance a person is, the less their energy can flow and the more they feel blocked. That’s when we feel stiff, have pain, and get fatigued easily. The process of becoming aware of your own participation in your health is a magnificent journey. Seeing how the systems all work together and how we have some control over ourselves is the first step. May I suggest you slow down a bit, challenge yourself, and reap the benefits of your new awareness? It is time. This a wake-up call to shift your intention. It is bashert—meant to be!
Sharon Sklar is in her 42nd year of private practice as a Certified Advanced Rolfer and has been voted one of Natural Nutmeg’s 10Best Bodyworkers for the last four years. Sharon works with direct manipulation of the soft tissue of the body and movement re-education over a ten-session series to help her clients feel freer, get more balanced, and reduce chronic pain. Great for athletes, children, and adults recovering from injuries, stress, or traumas of life. State licensed. Call 860.561.4337 for more info or to schedule a consultation. Inquiries are encouraged! www.SharonSklarRolfing.com. See ad on page 31 >
· ·Registered YogaTeacher: Gentle, Mixed, Shamanic · ·Spiritual Counselor, Mentor, Reader ·Workshops, Children’s Circles, EnergyHealing ·
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Clear Your Space, Clear Your Mind
By Chelsie Kirk
—Chelsie Kirk
When you think about your unorganized home, how does it make you feel? Stressed, anxious, and maybe embarrassed? Oftentimes you may not even realize that your “stuff” is affecting other aspects of your life—your work, relationships, and even your mental health. When the stress of your environment spills over into other areas of life, you’re not fully being present or showing up in the world the way you’re meant to. Surrounding yourself with disarray can be overwhelming in the physical sense, but there’s much more to it. “Stuff” takes up energy space, too—energy that could be used on things that really matter to you. You get home from a busy day and you’re greeted by a mess. It’s overwhelming. You think to yourself, “there are too many things to do, not enough time, and I don’t even know where to begin.” So instead you distract yourself with something else, but your messy home is taking a mental toll on you, and the unfinished tasks are constantly in the back of your mind. Instead of catching up with your partner or enjoying family time, you’re disengaged and irritable. You may not be aware, but your mood and energy are affected by what you surround yourself with.
3 Tips for Small Steps to Big Change
The good news is, this IS something you can control and change. Even if the task seems too big and you’d rather run and hide, you can take baby steps to make small, but impactful changes in your home. Here are three tips to shift energy and create instant relief:
1. Make Your Bed Every Morning
• You’re creating a routine for yourself the moment you wake up. This keeps the momentum going throughout the day. • It takes discipline. Discipline and structure help create new habits and give you a sense of accomplishment. • It looks good! When you walk into a clean bedroom you feel refreshed, not dragged down.
2. Load Your Dishwasher Every Night and
Unload Every Morning
• Creates structure and alleviates frustration.
Washing at night and unloading in the morning means your dishes and dishwasher are always available to you. How annoying is it when you need a clean dish, but it’s in the dirty washer?
Or when you need to put your dirty dish in the washer, but it’s filled with clean ones! • Easy cleanup throughout the day. You won’t have dishes piling up in the sink because the dishwasher will be available. Now all those dirty dishes are where they belong and you’re not staring at the overflowing sink.
3. Put Your Dirty Clothes in the Hamper
• Remember that everything has a home.
Dirty clothes belong in the hamper, not on the floor, staircase, bed, or couch. • Peace and calm when you walk into your home.
You can walk freely through your home without a sense of dread and feeling like all you ever do is pick up. Notice how you feel when you walk into your home after implementing these changes. Once the shift in energy has taken place you will feel accomplished, empowered, and proud of yourself. As you start reaping the benefits from these small, quick changes you’ll want to keep going. You may be inclined to tackle other aspects of disorganization that have been bothering you—cleaning out your inbox at work or decluttering that linen closet that hasn’t been touched since you moved in. Clearing your space helps clear your mind, and the downstream impact of that is priceless. Take baby steps and see if you feel more focused, energized, motivated, and empowered. You’ve got this! If you’re interested in making some fundamental changes, creating new habits, and falling in love with your space, please contact me.
Chelsie Kirk is a home organizer with a passion for minimizing clutter and creating beautiful spaces that bring joy to your life. She can be reached at chelsie@cchomeorganization.com or by phone at 860-510.1431. See ad on page 11 >
