Is Cuddle Therapy the Answer to a More Connected Society?

Cuddle Therapy

Is it the Answer to a More Connected Society?

By Madelaine Winzer

For some, a busy coffee shop might be the worst place to try and get some work done. But for me, it offers a fresh environment with fewer distractions and new sounds, allowing me to notice what is going on around me. A guy at the counter is ordering a black Americano while on the phone, the two girls next to me stare at their phones while their coffees rest next to them, and the man in the corner is listening to music through his blue headphones.

Technology

We live in a world where we appear to be more connected than ever. The invention of smartphones means we can contact whoever we like, anywhere in the world, making communicating with others accessible and straightforward. Social media allows us to see what our friends and family are up to without even sending them a message. It also allows people to curate an image that is entirely different to who they really are, and sometimes the façade that everything is perfect can spill over into real-life, keeping relationships superficial.

Technology allows people to work remotely, which has been necessary recently with Covid-19. Working remotely has been positive for some people’s mental health as it has meant less time commuting. However, it has also meant that workers have spent more time on Zoom and less type interacting day to day with other workers, and for some people that can be quite isolating. It has meant missing out on workplace handshakes, friendly hugs or pats on the backs.

Research commissioned by mind shows that work is the main reason for people’s stress, followed by finances, then health. Over half of people drink to cope with work-related stress, while other people use smoking, antidepressants, over the counter sleeping aids and prescribed sleeping tablets as their coping mechanisms. Right now, there are one in six workers struggling with depression, anxiety and stress. There is still a culture of fear and silence surrounding mental health issues, so how do we break the taboo?

Healing by Gentle Touch

Human touch is a basic human need like food and water, without it humans cannot thrive. In South America, Spain, France and Italy, affection and touch is part of everyday life, but the UK, USA and other Eastern European countries are among the most touch-deprived countries in the world. Conventions

in the latter countries often push people from initiating affectionate touch with those who are not directly related to them, and there is often an uncertainty for adults who even consider hugging or physically reassuring a student or child. It is important that children are receiving touch, as a lack of touch and other sensory stimulation as children can leave us stunted later in life.

Touch is mostly unconscious during social interactions, but bringing an intention to the interaction makes it more conscious. It is a language of compassion, which leads to bonds and connections with other people which are vital for wellbeing. The health benefits of physical touch are vast, and are known to improve the function of your immune system, reduce levels of cortisol, and reduce diseases associated with the heart and the blood. Touching can range from harmful to neutral to positive. There are many ways to initiate positive touch including welcoming someone through a kiss on the cheek or a handshake, having a massage by a qualified practitioner, going for a haircut at your local hairdressers, or offering someone affection that you care about. I have listed a few examples, but the good news is you can also experience some of the benefits of touch through yoga, cuddling a pet or self-touch.

Cuddle Therapy

Hugging your partner increases levels of oxytocin (the love hormone) significantly, as well as other Happy Hormones like dopamine, and serotonin. When Happy Hormones are woken up and released into our bodies we experience feelings of happiness, relaxation, improve mood, and lower levels of depression. Research suggests hugging or cuddling for more than six seconds oxytocin and serotonin are released at very high levels.

But what if you don’t have a partner?

Professional cuddling may be the answer. It can be done one or one or in ‘cuddle parties’, where people wear pyjamas, eat snacks, chat and snuggle. Cuddle parties allow adults to explore communication, affection, and boundaries. They can be great to meet new people and feel a sense of intimacy and closeness to others. Cuddle therapy may heal old wounds and allow individuals to start trusting their instincts again.

Some men and women get cuddle therapy as their emotional needs are not being met in relationships. We still live in a society where men are less likely to express themselves because they fear being vulnerable is considered as a weakness. It is a world which is constantly changing and sometimes hard to adapt to, so cuddling with a professional allows clients to feel a sense of safety with a trusted practitioner and let their guards down.

After a career in the fashion industry, Rebekka Mikkola decided to become a cuddle therapist as she wanted to do something more meaningful. Rebekka recognised the need for tactile connection and co-founded company Nordic Cuddle, one of the fastest-growing cuddle therapy companies based in London. She now deals with men and women who are desperate for human touch. The cuddle therapy sessions she provides involve platonic hugs, handholding and gentle arm rubs, combined with talking therapy.

Rebekka has more than 800 hours of cuddle therapy experience, working with men and women, young and old, including a few well-known celebrities. Her company has been approached by a law firm, as they felt that cuddle therapy could prove useful for clients suffering from stress. They have now entered a referral programme with them, along with another very complementary organisation. “Our shared needs are much more important than our differences” – Rebekka Mikkola

It is easy to be judgemental when you consider somebody paying for cuddling, but some older people go for long periods of time without affectionate touch, and that can have psychological and emotional consequences. People have always paid for intimacy in one form or another, and cuddle therapy is a growing niche which allows people to slow down and just be. A cuddle isn’t going to solve all of our problems, but it is a step in the right direction. If you are curious about cuddle therapy, then why don’t you try it for yourself this Autumn!

References

Morin, A. (2018) Why the Internet Has Made Us Lonlier Than Ever. Psychology Today [online] Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/whatmentally-strong-people-dont-do/201810/why-theinternet-has-made-us-lonlier-than-ever [Accessed 7 Sep 2020]. Palmer, D. (2016) ‘Why do we touch?’ Touch Pro [online] Available at: http://touchpro.com/why-do-we-touch/ [Accessed 7 September 2020]. Shark, L. (2019). What Does It Mean to Be Touch Starved? healthline [online] Available at: https://www. healthline.com/health/touch-starved [Accessed 7 Sep 2020]. Mind.(2013). Work is biggest cause of stress in people’s lives. Mind [online]. Available at: mind.org.uk [Accessed 7 Sep 2020]. NICE. (2011). Common mental health disorders. Nice [online] Available at http://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ cg123 [Accessed 9 September 2020]. Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T.B., M., Harris, T,. & Stepheson, D. (2015). Loneliness and Social Isolation as Risk Factors for Mortality. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2),227-237. doi:10.1177/1745691614568352 [Accessed 7 Sep 2020]. Rewire Me. (2015). Available at: https://www.rewireme. com/happiness/hug-therapy-high-touch-healing-hightech-world/ [Accessed 9 September 2020]. Nordic Cuddle. (2020). Available at: https://www. nordiccuddle.com [Accessed 9 September 2020].

Madelaine Winzer

Madelaine is a freelance writer who lives in London. After many years racing internationally as part of the GB Olympic Development Squad for Triathlon, Madelaine continues to have a strong interest in health and wellbeing. She has a degree in Sociology and is constantly developing her skills by attending workshops and courses.

@md_laine