2
The
Stupidest Things
By Cdr. Joel Jungemann
f experience truly is the best teacher, what do you rely on to keep you out of trouble while you get it? NATOPS procedures, SOPs, and common sense are a good start. You also can learn quite a bit from the experiences of others who may have made a mistake or two. When I was a JO back in the early ‘90s, I read an Approach article that sticks in my mind to this day. The commanding officer of an A-6 squadron had asked all his aircrew to write down the two stupidest things they ever had done, intentionally or unintentionally, in a Navy airplane. Some of the responses were comical; some were downright scary. The inputs were a great read, and it made me stop and think about how I could avoid making some of those same mistakes. I recently posed the same question to my ready room with the caveat that no names were required, there would be no recriminations, and it could be any Navy airplane they had flown. I even told some of the older folks (of which I am one) they could include more than two if needed. What follows are sample responses. • On a 95-degree day in a 56,000-pound EA-6B, I inadvertently raised the flaps and slats, instead of the gear, at 100 feet after takeoff. • We flew an approach to the wrong runway after mishearing ATIS. • I thought I had a drop-tank-transfer failure and was working on trying to get permission to jettison, when I realized the external-transfer switch was selected to outboard. • Halfway through a flight, I realized my shoulderharness Koch fittings were not attached, even though I had called attached during the checklist. • During a Case I recovery, with the weather socked in ahead of the ship, we were vectored by marshal and broke out right in the middle of the overhead stack, just in time to go left-to-left with a Hornet. • Following a compound emergency because of a September-October 2008
dragging flap in crummy weather, my pilot was having a night in the barrel with several bolters. After tanking and another bolter, we got a low-fuel light on final, and I let my pilot fly a low and dangerous pass, because I just wanted the night to end. • During CQ, I jumped into a jet for a hot-pump crew-switch. With the right engine offline to take gas, I got a left CSD overheat light. Rather than following NATOPS and securing the left engine, I tried to game it and crossbled the right. Unfortunately, the CSD ended up uncoupling. • I took off from Fallon on a low-overcast winter day. I thought the Pitot heat was on when, actually, it was off, because of a bent switch. The Pitot system rapidly froze, and the airspeed indicator dropped to zero. • Leading a section into the break, I didn’t look for Dash 2 of the section breaking in front of me. I broke my section into him, passing within 100 feet and nearly causing a midair. • I drank too much the night before flying on for cruise. Despite the plan to fly on and shut down, they sent us to the catapult. Immediately after the cat shot, I grabbed a barf bag from my G-suit and threw up. It was hard to conceal that maneuver, with the skipper sitting in the right seat. • After declaring a fuel emergency, I set up for a right downwind for runway 7. Unfortunately, the active runway was 25, and I was staring traffic in the face. • In the A-6 FRS, we switched jets at the last minute, and I got focused on the navigation system. I forgot to attach my lap belts and flew an entire low-level without completely being strapped in. • In a two-seat Hornet, with a civilian engineer in the back seat, I tried a low transition but raised the gear and flaps too soon. I came within a foot or two of settling back onto the runway. • I didn’t know I had to press the button on the relief tube and ended up urinating all over the back seat. 23
