Understanding a Passive Aggressive Partner
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For more information about passive aggressive behavior, please visit this website: http://www.esnips.com/doc/9fac95b3-678c-4f75-b34fd95ffc215bd4/understandingapa.doc-2 Does your partner avoid responsibility through passivity? Or hides anger and has a fear of being controlled, fear of confrontation, and an inability to deal straight with people? If the answer is YES then you are dealing with a passive aggressive partner and you should do something about it. Your partner may have not learned how to be in an equal, mature relationship because of unresolved personal pain or repressed anger from childhood. There are also other causes of having this personality disorder. It refers to behavior that results in unalterable and unchangeable attitude towards the environment. There are symptoms such as: â—?
Disagreeing with other people’s wishes and beliefs
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Forgetting, complaining, disliking other people’s ideas
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Giving sarcastic comments
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Blaming other people
Your partner probably has problems with adjusting and creating relationships with other people. But you, as a partner, can help. It takes a lot of time to understand someone with this kind of behavior. Don't expect too much of anything fundamental from him. You have to understand that being passive aggressive does not help in controlling intense emotions. You know what you want, having a companion to share wonderful moments in your life. But at some point, you start noticing that your companion is always uneasy, upset, and insecure with just about anything. You have to be aware of the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors provoked by his procrastinating behavior. What would you do? Will you take the risk of entering the most difficult relationship? The two of you must examine the cause and take responsibility for each one's behavior. It is also a part of your relationship that you make your partner realize that there is an existing problem between the two of you. A passive aggressive person is normally self-motivated. So it is all up to your partner if he decides to change. Your partner must focus on everyday problems and solutions. He must understand the problems even though there will be a denial at first. You must also help your partner establish control to lessen passive aggressive actions. If you are spending too much time in a relationship that lacks intimacy, closeness nor cooperation, take a good look at your need to live with conflict. If you feel that you have done everything you can to save the relationship, and it seems that there is no significant change at all, consider leaving to find a better relationship. Or just simply accept that things will not change because that is the way he is, and then try living a happy life anyway. Nora Femenia, Ph.D. is a well-known coach, conflict solver and trainer, and CEO of Creative Conflict Resolutions, Inc. She has written multiple
publications about happy, healthy marriages and how to enhance marital happiness, including her latest book on passive aggressive behavior, “Recovering from Passive Aggression.� Her innovative and compassionate conflict solutions are offered as e-books, articles and life-changing coaching sessions, all available from her blog: Creative Conflicts