Being the best you

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The way Kylie Matthews has measured her success has changed over the years. From climbing the corporate ladder to becoming a mother of three and co-founder of a New Zealand-based company that empowers women, you could say Kylie is successful. However, for Kylie, this isn’t exactly the definition. In a podcast with Catherine van der Meulen, Kylie shares how her definition of success has evolved.

Words: Megan Smith

What does the best version of yourself look and feel like? If someone had to ask you if you feel successful, what would your reply be? Would you measure your success by the longstanding cultural conformities in the 21st century, such as owning a house, driving a smart car, having plenty of money in the bank, or holding a highranking position in a reputable company? For some, those are significant, lifelong goals. Yet, as society evolves, remarkable women like Kylie Matthews, cofounder of AWWA (an innovative, kiwi-designed and owned, period-proof underwear brand, taking the world by storm), show that peeling away the layers of self can catapult you into a new existence, where success is measured by embracing and living by your core values.

Kylie recognizes that often we label ourselves on a superficial level, for example, being the caretaker of our family, business owner, chef, taxi driver, or entrepreneur. ‘These are taglines we often give ourselves but do not speak of who we are. Above

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all things, I am driven, determined, a free spirit, of strong mind and will.’ These statements about oneself make you realize very quickly that perhaps we have been going about how we see ourselves from the wrong angle and how we view success. Kylie quickly mentions that success, like most of us growing up, meant achieving good grades in school and throughout university, climbing the corporate ladder, and making a home for the kids we planned to have. It never weighed in on how an individual’s happiness should be the yardstick in measuring success. The holistic evolution of self began for Kylie when she welcomed her three kids into the world. ‘With their arrival, I began to feel that chasing the next promotion or coming first was not essential. Happiness stemmed from connectedness to myself, others, and the environment. I concluded that success is not quantifiable. It can be as simple as feeling like you are on the right track. Drawing strength from your values, making decisions against the grain, and standing true to who you are. Success is the best version of yourself, not comparing yourself to others or trying to live up to their expectations.’ In a recent podcast with Catherine van der Meulen, Director of Entrepreneurial Women with Purpose, Kylie describes becoming the best version of self means understanding that we are ever-evolving, continually growing, and learning. ‘At the moment, I am the best version of myself I have ever been, happy with the person I am and where I am. Success is the balance between work and family, being with friends and being alone to reflect and regroup, exercise and overindulgence, detox tea, and a good night out on the vino or frozen margaritas!’ Is there a secret to reaching this state of being? Kylie pegs it down to moments of reflection that

have empowered her to uncover who she is. ‘Having that time enables me to be present in the moment, reflecting on everything I am grateful for. When I am rushing with several tasks to do, contemplation always makes me ask myself, ‘where am I now?’ and brings joy and stillness to that moment. For example, the other day, I was out for a run, putting pressure on myself to run each kilometre under four minutes fifty seconds, when a friendly fantail swooped up on me. Instead of running on, I stopped, took a breath and watched them. I realised that there was no rush to clock a perfect time on that day, and spending the time to absorb my surroundings was far more worthwhile and fulfilling.’ Secondly, it is the affirmation that you do not have to change because someone dislikes something about you. Thirdly, it is about living in the now. ‘Simple things like being there for my children, reading to my kids, being at sports practices, and growing those strong, trusting relationships with them that will follow us for the rest of our lives.’ Lastly, it is the shared connection with friends. Kylie stresses that connecting with friends, whether to laugh, hug, cry, or bounce ideas off, plays a pivotal role in her life. ‘Some of my best friends, who have my back, and who I have loved unconditionally, I have known since I was 13.’ Redefining the culture of success and becoming more holistic in its approach means more than ticking items off a long list of things to do but being able to connect with ourselves and others. ‘I would urge people to focus on their journey versus conforming to societal and cultural norms. There are days when things will go well and days they do not. Be open to learning and growing from what you may feel are setbacks, and do not beat yourself up about it either. And to wrap it all up, it is the fundamental knowledge and nurturing of the belief that you are successful right where you are now!’

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