Anne Bodel (Dundonald

“ I only know I shall grow old and die.” (Roberta Hewitt)

There are various features that I identified about Roberta Hewitt that, perhaps, should be known about her. From her own writings I see she had an acerbic wit; she despised the fact she had not had an education, subsequently feeling inferior to those with whom she and John socialised. She often claimed responsibility for having been the cause of the unease that sometimes existed between her and John.

She included wee often in her diaries; local vernacular that placed her firmly within Northern Ireland. From others’ writings — especially the letters of condolences sent to John — she is regarded as having been “a gracious lady” 20 , “a very human person, and a ready listener to other people’s troubles" 21 , “[her] warm friendliness ... always showed the same kindliness and interest to me as a girl.” 22

Whilst these qualities are cited by others, I feel they can be found in the weft of Roberta’s own words. Despite berating herself for the things that made her feel less than others, we — the reader — see how she supports others, constantly and tirelessly: working for various organisations on a voluntary basis; supporting John and his poetry, often to her own detriment and well-being whilst also supporting other local artists. However, the one thing that resonates with me is that Roberta is not only a woman of her own time (a housewife and wife without having income or career) but also a woman before her time. In the first instance, being born into a [somewhat] working-class background and leaving school at 14 to start work, she did not have the opportunity to proceed to university despite displaying what seems to have been a bright and inquisitive disposition.

In addition, growing up in an era when women most often deferred to men, and particularly to men in authority, she displayed a sense of confidence that didn’t always meet the norm for the working-class girl/woman. She wouldn’t have been allowed to vote until the passing of the Representation of the People Act in 1928 when all women over the age of 21 years were finally allowed to vote. I don’t know if she used that first vote, but she certainly was vocal in her diaries about religious and political issues, both within and outside of Northern Ireland.

And, about a year after that Act was passed, Roberta moved to Canada and subsequently New York, relinquishing the perceived parochial yoke of the Northern Irish working-class woman. It may have been due to the onset of

20 Patrick Hughes, letter of condolence to John Hewitt (D3838/3/19) 21 Harry Wilkinson, letter of condolence to John Hewitt (D3838/3/19) 22 Maeve, letter of condolence to John Hewitt (D3838/3/19)

Roberta's US Migration Card 1930. PRONI: D3838/1/1/7

the depression of 1929 that drove her across the Atlantic, but Roberta was in employment when she emigrated in 1929; she states in her diary that she left Saxone Boot Shop to emigrate.23

In addition, the year before she married John, she carried a driving licence that allowed her to drive a car for one year. Again, I have no sense of knowing if she owned a car, drove someone else’s car, or indeed if she even renewed her licence, but she must have felt sufficiently confident to want to own one. Without speculating about Roberta’s mindset at the time, I feel it displays an attitude of [her] taking chances and grabbing at opportunities. Indeed, it is evident in her diaries that she often encouraged John to progress or apply for roles and/or potential openings. There is a dichotomy of the two diaries with the latter years reflecting Roberta’s jaded attitude. She seems to suffer from pains, gynaecological problems and numerous colds and ailments that makes her take to bed. She admits to having dark moods and blames herself for the problems that she and John experience in their later years; even admitting to striking him at one point.

However, and currently being a woman of similar age to Roberta when this was all occurring, I see it as a natural progression of life: how familiarity breeds contempt; how one feels invisible and obsolete. Now, and at the age she was when some of this transpired, it resonates as a truthful account of her feelings and changes occurring in her body. And I do see Roberta as being a truthful person. She commented on people, on religion and politics, and on her relationship with John.

23 Roberta Hewitt's 1947-1950 Diary (D3838/4/2/1): p.2

She often chastised herself about her comments and/or feelings but I believe them as truthful responses to genuine instances.

I admire John by the fact he didn’t negate Roberta’s diaries and decided to include them in a repository of their lives together. Moreover, whereas Roberta often cited her ignorance and lack of formal education I do feel that John recognised a ‘quality’ within the young Roberta on their meeting in 1933: a latent intelligence perhaps; or the energy and confidence required to urge a retiring young poet onwards.

I’d also go so far as to suggest their relationship was symbiotic, wherein each required the other to thrive. Roberta flourished intellectually within the artistic community that surrounded John despite refuting her own worth (“I was there because I married culture”) after being invited to Lady Wakehurst’s evening event at Hillsborough in March 1953.24 However, on her death, one letter of condolence cited: “Those days in the thirties when you and Ruby held open house on Sunday evenings had a marked effect on me.” 26

“I’ll never forget her cheerful, charming face, so vivid, so responsive [...] She developed from being pleasantly intelligent into a near intellectual. And you gave her this prolonged opportunity.” 25

And he most likely did give her this opportunity. But John seems to have thrived also on Roberta’s support and willingness to listen to his readings despite her being tired and longing for bed. She also had the ability to welcome the frequent numerous artistic people into their home and, considering postwar austerity, the ability for Roberta to cater for those visitors. However, and whilst Roberta often remarked to feeling invisible, the letters of condolences to John acknowledge her kindness and wonderful qualities — how sad she didn’t see those qualities, or the fact they were well remembered: What surprised me most about Roberta was her reference to sex. She referred to it on several occasions, one being when she remarked that John was ‘no lover’:

I think I now would like a room of my own. I have so many sleepless nights. Now, when I get so exasperated, I start to laying all the blame of anything on J’s sleeping head. When I get unhappy, he cannot talk to me at all & cannot help me. He is a good husband, but no lover. I feel I would be better alone. 27

Considering the time Roberta was born, sex was pretty much a private thing only to be considered between married couples. She may have discussed it furtively with other women, but to include it into her diary is somewhat daring and, I feel, revolutionary.

Roberta's driving licence 1933-34. PRONI: D3838/1/1/20

24 Roberta Hewitt's 1951-1974 Diary (D3838/4/2/2): p.773 25 Elsie Patton, letter of condolence to John Hewitt (D3838/3/19) 26 Bill Adair, letter of condolence to John Hewitt (D3838/3/19) 27 Roberta Hewitt's 1951-1974 Diary (D3838/4/2/2): p.774

Again, this reveals the truthful woman; the woman who didn’t skirt about issues but tackled them head-on. It is also one of the instances wherein I say she is a woman before her time. Terminology conferred upon women, and especially middle-aged women, was often unkind but Roberta revealed herself as a woman who desired to be seen and acknowledged by the husband she loved.

And despite her angst, anger, and frustration, I do feel that she loved and admired John immensely.

At the beginning I stated that Roberta was ‘a woman of her time, and a woman before her time’. However, reflecting on her words of admissions and guilts, I feel she is representative of women universally; who start out as bright young things and who want to be educated, to be seen; to be heard. Yet even now, nearly half a century after Roberta’s death, there are women still subjugated to men, religions, and cultures. Roberta stated: “I only know I shall grow old and die.”28 And she did; as we all shall, but there had been a richness of abundance to her life that, somehow, she didn’t recognise.

Woman

She who aspires. Who contrives and conspires, Who nurtures and strives. And survives. Somehow, she survives.

28 Roberta Hewitt's 1947-1950 Diary (D3838/4/2/1): p.264

Letters of condolence to John Hewitt, PRONI: D3838/3/19