Why aren’t men encouraged to do self-care?

Words ABBEY BENVEGNU

Men’s health is a topic that resonates a lot with me, and as a woman, that may seem a little strange. “Why are you so interested in men’s health when you’re a woman? Shouldn’t you care about women’s health?”

Men’s health is important to me because if a man is unhealthy – physically or mentally – it affects everyone around him. For me, health is health. And we are all in this together.

Women are told to #selfcare and #loveyourself all day every day, whereas men aren’t. But gone are the days of men needing to ‘hold it together’ for the sake of appearing tough. The more in touch a man is with his feelings these days, the more appealing he is.

What’s needed now is men and women sitting in a circle together. What’s needed now are brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers showing up for each other so we can live in harmony, planting the light in new generations. This is so all the beautiful children can be born into a world where they are safe to be themselves, to play and to imagine.

We must remember the ancient ways and consciously relate with each other with the eyes of God. No more suffering. No more depression. No more suicides. Just love.

Suicide is the leading cause of death for Australians aged 15-44 years, and 75% of those who take their own lives are male.

Men’s work is the catalyst for healing throughout our communities, and as a woman, I feel the importance in my role to help cultivate that safety for men. Men’s groups are created to lay those foundations so that every day we can nurture men to heal parts of themselves so they can rise to be the protector of the feminine. From this space, the female can flourish in her magic.

It’s a balancing act. A dance between the two; an ever-flowing ebb and flow of infinity. So what can we do about it: 1. Look at the men in your life and look at your relationship with them. Can you bring some harmony to them? 2. Become a safe space for men to explore and express. 3. Ask the men in your life how they are right now.

Men aren’t wired to talk about their feelings openly. All their lives they’ve been brought up with the mantra ‘men don’t cry’, so they think showing any sign of feelings is a weakness. It’s up to you to open the door and give them permission to speak freely. It may not happen straight away – they may feel awkward for doing it – but the more you ask them how they’re really feeling, the easier it will be for them to open up.

www.abbeybenvegnu.com