A Sisterhood

Betsy LaPadula, NA English Teacher

Julia “Julie” Appel ’06

Their story started with a hat that looked like a bear. In 1999, English teacher Betsy LaPadula chaperoned the Newark Academy Ski Club’s weekly ski trip, and she saw Julia “Julie” Appel ’06 wearing a hat that looked like a bear. Betsy’s simple compliment to Julie on the hat, which Julie reciprocated by giving Betsy a similar hat for her birthday, was the start of a connection that would develop into something much deeper — sisterhood.

Their time together, Betsy teaching and Julie learning, in seventh grade English class and hours together on School Council, Betsy as an advisor and Julie as an elected member, allowed them to bond over a shared sense of humor, love of books and more, sparking the beginning of a lifelong bond between Betsy and Julie. Over two decades later, their friendship has endured through many milestones and challenges, including weddings, births and losses. Julie was even Betsy’s maid of honor and memorably wore a kelly green bridesmaid dress at the occasion, a color choice which they both cringe at today, and gives them a constant laugh when talking about it.

“What is unique about our relationship is that we feed off one another,” says Julie. “[Our communication is] beyond shorthand. It’s like braille — but instant braille, on the brain.” There are things Julie feels she can’t say out loud to anyone but Betsy. “I was taking notes at work one day and thinking, ‘Do you ever feel like you are just an ink blob on the paper?’ and told Betsy, who of course understood. No one would get that but Betsy.”

This incredible sisterhood is a testament to Betsy’s long-standing approach of being a mentor to her students and providing a safe space in her classroom where students like Julie could go to her with any kind of issue, social or academic. Betsy nods to Newark Academy for “giving its teachers the space and permission to be mentors for students by normalizing going to a teacher’s desk without an academic problem.”

Still, the culture of mentorship and equality that Betsy has fostered in her classroom is what Julie points to as a key gateway toward developing the language, tools and permission to express her true self. “Betsy always saw me as an equal and separate from my brother (Jake Appel ’02), and that was formative for me in a way I didn’t understand until graduating from NA. Betsy can see in children what they can’t see in themselves, and she gives them permission to be themselves.”

Today the two talk and text at least once a week; each has the other’s number listed first as a favorite in her phone’s contacts — as family would do.

“Julie is more of a family member than a friend,” says Betsy. “We have a relationship that feels very adult, stemming from her time at NA and has evolved from there. She is my sister, my family, my person.”

Opening Their Hearts and Home

Scott M. Jacoby, NA Director of Theatre Arts, 1982-2017

Julie Madison Jacoby, NA Director of Choral Music, 1987-2006

Eric Fattakhov ’09

When Julie Madison Jacoby, former director of choral music, heard her former student Eric Fattakhov ’09 sing and play guitar at Newark Academy, it melted her heart. That’s why upon finding out Eric didn’t have a guitar of his own, she gave him one of hers, so he could continue to pursue his artistic passion of playing the instrument — a treasure he still frequently strums on today.

Their connection deepened when Eric’s mother was assigned to a medical residency in Brooklyn during his final years at NA. Julie and her husband, Scott M. Jacoby, former arts chair and director of theatre arts, opened their home for Eric to live in, so he could continue his NA education while his mother worked out of state.

That’s the type of familial bond that blossomed during Eric’s time with the Jacobys — whom he refers to as his “second parents” — in chorus class, musicals and on an epic community

The Jacobys have helped a lot of NA students, including me. It takes someone very special to open their home to someone and mentor them.”

Eric Fattakhov ’09 with Scott and Julie Madison Jacoby

–Scott M.

service a cappella tour throughout nursing homes.

For Eric, the level of empathy exhibited by the Jacobys and his other NA teachers is a highlight of his experience at the school. “Teachers at Newark Academy make a very personal investment in their students,” Eric says, noting that many of his NA friends are still close with their teachers as well. “The Jacobys have helped a lot of NA students, including me. It takes someone very special to open their home to someone and mentor them. Their kindness and generosity is beyond what you would expect from anyone. They are an example to me.”

Being part of the Newark Academy community for over three decades,

Former Director of Theatre Arts

the Jacobys are known for forging deep and lasting relationships with their students — an opportunity which they thank Newark Academy for encouraging. “As educators, you can’t be successful in teaching in the arts without empathy … and [Newark Academy] wanted us to open our hearts to our students,” Scott says. Julie adds that, “Empathy and mentoring are a strong part of my teaching.”

Julie notes that her relationship with Eric and other students greatly pushed forward her own personal growth. “NA really allowed me to open up and learn about culture. I was a sponge,” says Julie. Her connection with Eric reinforced just how important it was to take the time to learn about their students, simply by asking questions and listening. “I am smart enough to recognize that I am the lucky one. Eric opened our world. We are richer because of him and all the students we have taught,” Julie says.

This lifelong bond between Eric and the Jacobys — which began through music and persisted through shared experiences — continues to flourish today. Just last fall, Eric flew out to California to visit his “second parents.” With so many memories between the trio, Eric is forever grateful to the Jacobys and has inquired about how he could possibly repay them for all they’ve given him. Their response?

Simply asking Eric to pay it forward if he is in the position to give back. “They are very selfless and never wanted anything in return for their kindness,” Eric says.