10 Movies For Your Family Holidays

10 Movies to Use as a Buffer between You and Your Family around the Holidays

By dAn teBo

First the good news: after two interminable years, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has finally declared it relatively safe to attend large family gatherings over the holidays.

The bad news? The CDC has finally declared it relatively safe to attend large family gatherings over the holidays. Luckily, we’ll always have movies as our great holiday neutralizer. Whether you’re dashing out to catch the latest Oscar hopeful at the cinema or slinking down to the basement with a sixer of triple IPA for the umpteenth viewing of “Christmas Vacation,” movies offer that great escape we often desperately need. This winter, we’re going to take a look at some Vermont-adjacent films that are bound to raise your holiday hackles. Because if I have to watch “Home Alone” again, I’m going to slap myself in the cheeks until my teeth fall to the ground like Tic-Tacs.

1. “Labyrinth” (1986)

Longtime Manchester resident Jennifer Connelly has been in showbiz for 40 of her 50 years and once gave the world’s most disinterested Oscar acceptance speech. She really could’ve hung ’em up after “Labyrinth” and still have achieved legendary status. Jim Henson’s vaguely sexual followup to the “Dark Crystal” features both Muppets and David Bowie. Henson FTW.

2. “Baby Boom” (1987)

Diane Keaton is a wealthy New York City lawyer whose life goes sideways when she inherits a superfluous baby. After being dumped by one of the Ghostbusters, Keaton flees to Vermont, where she beds iconic playwright Sam Shepard and starts an incomprehensibly successful baby food company. Cash money literally rains from the skies.

3. “Beetlejuice” (1988)

All of Tim Burton’s movies are inherently Christmasy, even though few involve Christmas. It might have something to do with Danny Elfman’s score (which slaps, natch) or Michael Keaton’s unparalleled performance, but this filmed-in-Corinth funhouse flick is adaptable to any and all holidays.

4. “Funny Farm” (1988)

Chevy Chase headlines as a writer who moves to rural Vermont to write the Great American Novel but instead winds up plagiarizing his wife’s children’s book wholesale. The entire town is converted into a Rockwellian winter wonderland in an attempt to help the fractured couple sell their property. These scenes should scratch your yuletide itch … if such an itch exists.

5. “Twin Peaks: Northwest Passage” (1990)

Middlebury College alum Warren Frost fathered writer Mark Frost, who would grow up to co-father the “Twin Peaks” universe. I can’t think of a better way to while away a snowy winter’s eve than curling up with a damn good cuppa’ joe and a slice of cherry pie while watching the “Twin Peaks” pilot before showverdosing on the first season.

6. “Wolf” (1994)

Long before the wilds of Vermont were overrun by hops-hungry beer bros, they were home to Jack Nicholson-maiming wolves. Jack plays a foundering New York City literary agent who finds fire unexpectedly returning to his loins after being bit by a Vermonteese wolf. I initially thought the wolf was an allegory for the decline of the publishing industry but nah — Jack is a no-shit werewolf. Mike Nichols inexplicably directs.

7. “Affliction” (1997)

This snow-capped, small town crime drama is the more devastating of the two Russell Banks adaptations to hit screens in 1997. The other one involved a busload of dead children! Nick Nolte plays a New Hampshire police officer with poor dental hygiene and unresolvable daddy issues. A 114-minute infomercial on how not to deal with your alcoholic father.

8. “State and Main” (2000)

In David Mamet’s ensemble comedy, a wayward film crew descends on a small town in a part of Vermont that’s totally Beverly, Mass. As usual, Mamet’s dialogue is as impenetrable as Alec Baldwin’s ever-present chest pelt. Levity arrives via some key performances by Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Mamet mainstay Ricky Jay.

9. “The Family Stone” (2004)

For those of y’all who prefer your Christmas films to include actual Christmas, there’s this new school New England holiday classic filmed entirely in New Jersey. This flick features every actor ever born tackling an unholy smorgasbord of familial cliches. Sarah Jessica Parker plays Carrie Bradshaw. Diane Keaton gets cancer and dies. God bless us, everyone.

10. “The Future” (2011)

Barre native Miranda July has earned a reputation as one of the most original artists of the 21st century. And if you really want to see how much your family loves you, try throwing on July’s film “The Future” in place of “A Christmas Story'' and see how long it takes before the room has cleared. My grandma split as soon as the cat started narrating, but maybe your grandma will hang on until July humps her couch. If she loves you … Table Decor | Pottery | Simon Pearce Glass

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Open Daily 3630 Rte 103N Chester, VT

Backcountry skiing, snowboarding, hiking and snowshoeing is inherently dangerous, with many opportunities to get hurt or killed. Bring first aid gear, travel in a group and stay aware of weather conditions. Bring ample food and water, too. Always let someone know where you’re going, and prepare for the worst to have the best time possible. Metro Creative Graphics

5 hidden hills to feed your backcountry hunger

No matter if you snowboard, telemark or cross-country ski, these climbs and glides will satisfy

By Chris MAys

UpCountry Magazine

Lift lines can be so pedestrian.

Why bother when you can go solo or with a small squad of key operatives to a backcountry trail near you. Benefits: Excellent cardiovascular conditioning, mission-oriented legwork (unlike the gym) and views

seen only by a select few.

Downsides: None. Make sure to bring extra, insulated water, food and your own self-rescue gear, in case you need to spend the night. Enjoy these off-the-beaten paths for your next telemark, cross-country or backcountry ski or snowboard adventure in Southern Vermont.

1. Horace Hill

Town: Dover Trailhead: Valley Trail off Route 100 Terrain: This small section of woods managed by the Southern Vermont Trails Association is the perfect place to test out your equipment or start off your backcountry adventures. It contains four touring zones and a loop for snowshoeing. Local tip: Check out tasty food and refreshing drinks at restaurants and bars nearby. Since the trails are part of the Vermont Association of Snow Travelers, watch out for snowmobilers who cannot hear you and might not see you.

2. Dover Town Forest

Town: Dover Trailhead: End of Rice Hill Road Terrain: This backcountry touring area, also managed by the trails association, is a short drive away from Horace Hill, making it a natural place to graduate to as a novice or someone with new equipment. Local tip: Be prepared for steep ascents and stay at the nearby Cooper Hill Inn if you’re trekking from far away. Also, watch out for snowmobiles here, too, as the trails are shared.

3. Dutch Hill

Town: Readsboro Trailhead: 910 Route 100 Terrain: Now part of the Catamount Trail Association, the Dutch Hill ski area went out of business in the 1980s but recently became popular for touring after backcountry ski enthusiasts banded together to form a nonprofit dedicated to maintaining the gem. It has some of the steepest pitches on the East Coast and is known for getting a lot of snow. Local tip: It’s a popular spot, so you might want to get there early on a weekend.

4. Thunderbolt Trail at Mount Greylock State Park

Town: North Adams, Mass. Trailhead: Thiel Road after an intersection with Gould Road Terrain: The trail takes you up Massachusetts’ highest peak at 3,491 feet, offering great views and a warming hut at the summit. Local tip: There are varied snow conditions at different parts and very steep sections. Waiting until later in the winter when more of the base is covered with snow is advised.

5. Temple Mountain Reservation

Towns: Peterborough, Sharon and Temple, N.H. Trailhead: Parking is available on Route 101 in Temple at both Miller State Park and the Temple Mountain Reservation. Terrain: The climb is considered easy to moderate. As the site of a formerly privately owned ski area purchased by the state of New Hampshire in 2007, evidence of the ski trails still remains. The mountain contains several peaks. Local tip: Especially on weekends, the trail system can be very busy. So get there early.

Backcountry skiing or snowboarding can get you out of the lift lines and into places where no trails exist and people are

scarce, and wildlife is plentiful. Metro Creative Graphics