Personality changes with age

Recently a friend of mine made the comment that as she grows older, she notices her ego is diminishing. Is this a good thing or bad thing? It depends.

In researching “ego,” I discovered that the word had two distinctly different meanings. In psychology, ego-strength is a good thing because it means the individual has a good sense of self. Personality and individuality are developed along with self-awareness. In other words, such people are comfortable in their own skin. This can be taken to an extreme, meaning people become self-centered, conceited, and hard to be around. People become egotistical with their world revolving around me, me, me.

Taken in another realm of thought, the “metaphysical world,” (meaning that beyond the physical world; the supernatural, transcendent, or spiritual) ego means something quite different. In this world, the ego means the “false self.”

“False self” should not be construed as bad or deceitful. The false self pretends to be more than it is. It is the self we show the world or our self-image shaped by external circumstances.

The false self is shaped by our job, our education, our clothes, our roles, our lifestyle, etc. These are necessary and not negative. They are simply not who we are in our heart of hearts.

When we live out of false self, we can easily idealize or judge ourselves, based on externals. Our “ego” can be bruised when external circumstances change, i.e, the loss of a job, diminished health, the break-up of a relationship. We compare ourselves to others and feel diminished, worrying about what others think of us. Our ego is vulnerable when we rely on externals to determine our worth.