FINAL FOCUS

Empty Nesting

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By Cory Sekine-Pettite

This summer, most of my friends with children became so-called empty nesters. While not considered an actual clinical condition, empty nest syndrome is a feeling of grief and loneliness parents may feel when their children move out to live on their own or to attend a university. Since I do not have children, I cannot empathize with their predicament, but I can sympathize. These parents are grieving. Their primary role as adults — perhaps their entire identity — has been as a caregiver to their progeny. They are asking themselves “Who am I now, and what do I do with the rest of my life.?”

For those who have sought advice or words of encouragement, my first suggestion has been to take pride in guiding their children into adulthood. The hard part is over, I say. Just be there for them now as they learn to live on their own (or with their college roommates) and discover who they are. Their kids’ journeys are just beginning, but my friends still have wisdom to share. If their child knows they can reach out for help or advice (but without judgement) then they will.

Of course, my empty-nester friends now are embarking on a new journey of their own. So, I’ve begun reading about what they’re going through and I’ve looked for ways in which their new lives can be rewarding and fulfilling rather than anxious or restless. Fortunately, there’s a great deal of information out there. I suggest leaning into the more active ways of adjusting such as learning new skills or hobbies (cooking/baking, crafts, new languages, etc.). Additionally, I tell them they can travel more — and not just during the summer. They also can join a club or association that caters to their passion or interests. They can volunteer. And maybe they can sleep more!

I encourage all empty nesters to enjoy this time in their lives when they are not responsible to or for anyone else, because the next chapter in their lives bring with it new challenges and obligations, i.e., grandchildren. n