Business Mediator, Author Fighting Stigma Around Addiction with New Book and Hackettstown Addiction-Assistance Task Force

BY ALEXANDER RIVERO STAFF WRITER

AREA - One evening during the early stages of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020, a spark of inspiration came to Victor Dias DeSousa as he sat on his balcony and listened to the cicadas below. Despite working as a business mediator, a profession which has little to nothing to do with publication, he was suddenly filled with the inspiration to sit down and write.

“Everyone was secluded during this time,” recalls DeSousa, a native of Portugal who grew up in Mozambique and for the past four decades has resided in Hackettstown. “All regular activities had stopped. There were no in-person events, and people tended to feel isolated. But I’m a naturally optimistic person, and I looked positively on all that solitude.”

Over the next couple of months, the muse that came to him that evening, as it turns out, stuck around for good. DeSousa worked fluidly, writing on his upbringing in Mozambique during its tumultuous civil war in the late 1970s and early 1980s. Within the narrative, he recalls specific moments of the war, his youth and innocence, and many lessons he learned along the way. In September of

2020, the book—Chasing the Wind Under the Sun: Based on Real Life Events—was published.

“I know I’m not Gabriel Garcia Marquez,” admits DeSousa, referring to the world-renowned author of One Hundred Years of Solitude, “but I’ve always had a passion for writing and for the written word. In my own writing, I essentially sat down and had a deep conversation with my own self. I was as honest and forthcoming. Writers, as far as I can tell, write books for two reasons—to have a conversation with themselves and to have a conversation with their readers.”

For DeSousa, that conversation continues. Building on the lessons of having written his first book, he has published a second one, titled I Am Everybody, about another subject very close and dear to his heart: the stigma around addiction.

“The idea behind I Am Everybody was to bridge some gaps when it comes to how people perceive addiction, and to change some of those perceptions,” says DeSousa. “In the collective psyche, we tend to look at addicts simply as junkies, even the most compassion-

Military Child...

FROM FRONT PAGE people to realize that the sacrifice that is made is one of an entire family including the children of a military parent.

I think it is a wonderful idea to represent military children. The children of military parents should not be overlooked. The military child must give up time spent with a parent without consent.”

Support is also being given by Chuck Aaron, Jersey Girl Brewery co-owner, who is allowing the AVM to use the brewery as the venue for the fundraiser.

“I have had the opportunity to work with the All-Veterans Memorial group in the past by hosting a major fundraiser for them at the brewery,” says Aaron. “The project originated from the effort of Eric Wood [Uhrmann’s son] as his Eagle Scout Project. As an Eagle Scout myself, helping to ensure his project efforts can continue to grow and flourish all these years later is important to me.”

As an 18-year resident of Mt. Olive, Aaron and his family have spent a lot of time at Turkey Brook Park, where the AVM is located.

“The memorial is a respectful and impactful component to the park,” says Aaron, newly appointed Mt. Olive councilman. “It’s so well designed and pays tribute to so many who have given or fighting for our freedoms. I’m happy that our town park was selected by Eric Wood as a place where we can go and pay respect to our military.”

Aaron points out that “We don’t take the opportunity to support non-profits lightly and have focused on a few key non-profits focused on: Military, first responders, local youth sports and dog adoptions. As a business in town, we have a unique opportunity to support larger local fundraisers because of the size of our location. The opportunity to give back to the community and non-profits is a key component of who we are as a business.”

Larger events are held in the “back of the house,” notes Aaron, “a large area located through the main sample room ate of us. It’s a built in response. But it really has to be looked at the way cancer is looked at—as a disease.”

DeSousa’s second book is indeed a call to action for society to fundamentally alter the way it sees addicts. Despite our willingness to empathize with addicts, DeSousa argues, it is necessary for us to transcend our tendency to see people going through addiction as willful actors choosing a particular path of behavior. It is also, by extension, necessary to realize that no one in this world is ever completely immune to becoming an addict himself.

“No question about it, we have to change the way we see this problem,” says DeSousa. “In order to truly help these people, we need to first and foremost stop ostracizing them, because doing so reduces the odds that they’ll step out and get the help they need. Also, it’s important to let society in general know that addiction doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care about age, gender, political party, experience. If you think you’re too old to be an addict, think again. Just take a look at the opioid crisis plaguing the country right now.” where during the week we manage brewery production. What makes it a great space is the view of the brewhouse, fermentation tanks and the canning machine. It makes for a beautiful backdrop to a private event. Plus, it generally stirs up questions about how we brew beer which I love to talk about. This is a space that is available to anyone to rent through our website: JerseyGirlBrewing.com.

He assures that 100% of the proceeds for the AVM fundraiser will go toward the AVM’s Military Child element.

The title of the book, says DeSousa, is a reminder that we are all in this problem together, as a society. It is also an echo to the cry inside most people going through addiction, who fundamentally see themselves not as many other see them, but as human beings going through a personal crisis, in need of being understood.

“I think that even though social stigma is silent, it’s the corrosive element that does most damage to the addict psychologically,” says DeSousa. “It works in secret and it’s absolutely horrendous. What ends up happening to many addicts ashamed by how they come across to others is that they either overdose or commit suicide.”

DeSousa is in charge of the Hackettstown Stigma Free Task Force, currently expanding, which focuses on the need to reduce that social stigma and provide individuals that need help with their addictions a space to talk openly. The Task Force is also opened to individuals willing to volunteer and/or learn more about addiction.

“Our target audiences here,” says DeSousa, “are firstly the person suffering from addiction, so that they can see they’re

“We don’t ever take money from non-profit events from what they raise,” says Aaron. “That is their money and all of what they earn through their efforts should be available to use towards the AVM efforts. What they provide is important to our military, and anything I can do to support that effort is key.”

Uhrmann chose Jersey Girl Brewery as the venue for the fundraiser for a few reasons.

“Jersey Girl Brewery held our very first fundraiser — Octoberfest, where we drew over 600 attendees,” says Uhr- not alone in the struggle. Also, we want to educate those who don’t know about addiction, to educate the society at large, and lastly we want to help the family of the addict, to offer them the support they need since, so often, they are really the first casualty of addiction.”

For more information on DeSousa’s books—Chasing the Wind Under the Sun: Based on Real Life Events and I Am mann. “JGB not only sells a great product but has a fun and exciting facility and staff. They have been staunch supporters of the AVM over the years.”

Those who do not wish to paint can attend The AVM’s Beer Garden social from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. and enjoy beer and music by feature soloist Steve Yeager. Beer is self-pay, says Uhrmann.

“We would like everyone to come and give a donation,” she says. “We will have music, games and prizes.”

For those who are not able to

Everybody—visit Amazon. com, where each are available.

For more information on the Hackettstown Stigma Free Task Force, please e-mail htownstigmafree@gmail.com or check out their Facebook page: www. facebook.com/breakingthebarriers07840/ attend but would like to contribute to this worthy cause, send a check or money order to: All Veterans Memorial, 2605 Glover Road, Ridgeland, S.C. 29936. “Any amount of donation would be greatly appreciated,” says Uhrmann. and on weekends at Seton Hall University for her master’s in education in 1990.

Lastly, if you yourself are struggling with addiction or suicide, please seek help by dialing 988.

To reserve a place at the easel, contact the AVM at: info@ allveteransmemorial.org or 973479-4959. It will be on a first come, first serve basis. The area will be open to the public to observe.

Witness To Change

Since she has been at MOSD, Scotland has worked under seven principals and is witness to many changes from education to technology.

“Time changes things,” says Scotland. “Some of the changes are good and others not so good. Our expectations have varied over the years as to what a student should master. It is my opinion that with some of the new expectations, we sacrificed some basic skills that are so necessary in our dayto-day living. “Rigor” became a big word in recent years and the bar was made higher for a child’s academic success to be recognized. In some cases, we have negated the importance of social skills, problem solving and independence. These are learned experiences that offer a sturdy foundation for all of our younger students to build from going forward.

“I think in the elementary years we need to slow down and offer time to develop these areas of learning again,” says Scotland. “This will strengthen their self-esteem, motor skills and cognitive development. In current years we have so many wonderful tools we can use to enhance each lesson. If used appropriately, amazing things can be accomplished. Differentiated instruction has advanced and has a healthier use among our student population. With that said, ALL students need the basics before launching to the higher level of learning.

“When I started there weren’t computers or Smartboards. It was pencil, paper, books and chalkboards,” she continues. “Due to Covid, now more than ever we need to find a balance and steady an elementary age student’s learning with appropriate expectations and tools.

“Assorted curriculum has been used throughout the years too,” she adds. “Teachers need to be provided with programs that enhance student learning with the tools necessary to deliver the instruction. Going forward it would be my hope that administration and classroom teachers would work closely together on this. There are some valuable voices in the classroom. That should always be respected. A love towards learning should be provided for all students. A balance between then and now will be key.”

A Rainbow Full Of Accomplishments

“My greatest accomplishment was to take part in a voice much larger than myself,” says Scotland. “It grew with collaboration among colleagues, time and a dream. My hope has always been to teach the whole child… mind, body and spirit. Let them know we all have value and can contribute within our school walls and beyond. Showing a student that their academics really don’t come alive until he/she blends his/her skills with the goodness he/she can provide through integrity and kindness. There are plenty of brilliant people that don’t blend their knowledge with heart and that needs to change. There is so much divide in the world and what we need is unity through humanity. We all bring to the table different skills and talents and if we use them for the greater good~ that’s a world I wish for my students to live and share in. There is no better lesson. My accomplishment is that I had a voice, I shared it the best that I could, and it will allow for my students to develop their own voice in a way they want to offer it.”

Memories To Cherish

“I have so many wonderful memories/moments from all the schools I have worked in,” reminisces Scotland. “The late Chester M. Stephens and Mrs. Blessed Cannata started this amazing ride by welcoming me into the Mt. Olive Community. My affection continued to be filled with incredible colleagues, students and families that I have met throughout the years. The best moments are shared moments among many. The start of Love a Parent Night at Mountain View, Collecting gifts for Morristown Memorial at Sandshore, all the Kindness Tours at CMS, WRNJ Rainbow Connections being aired on the radio each Friday morning for the surrounding area to hear, art created by our students auctioned off~ sending money and love to the children of Afghanistan, our Take It Out Program, making/ delivering blankets to offer hugs for those that need it, and writing/publishing a book with my looping class~ “Treasures of A Teacher’s Heart/ Changing the World With Our Own Two Hands,” are just a handful of memories that will stay embedded in my heart.

“But there are quieter moments that fill my being too… a paper heart from a shy student that says, ‘I love you,’ an alumni student reaching out, a child that didn’t think he could read is amazed when he does, a parent that is grateful for your service,” she continues. “And then there are colleagues that I consider family and have been a gift to me beyond measure~ Kelly Garry and Dawn Walsh to name a couple.

“There are memories that I have not just shared with the building I work in but as an entire community,” she says. “We lived through 9-11, Hurricane Sandy and Covid. Together we faced the horror of it all with compassion and solidarity. Those were the moments that my students saw the truths of what kindness, skill and compassion can do for the world. Handing out sandwiches, writing to firefighters, and or watching their teacher adjust to virtual learning. We are in this together. They are young but they got it!

Greatest Accomplishments

“I gave the best of myself,” says Scotland. “I was mentored by astounding teachers, matured and polished so that I could sprinkle my students with all that I could offer. Time will tell if my accomplishments will make a difference in their lives. I’m rooting for them and a forever fan of each and every one!”

The CMS Kindness Tour will be one for the books. Scotland hopes kindness will always be shared.

“My colleagues will continue to highlight kindness and enrich the students in a meaningful way with a style of their own,” says Scotland.

As she completes her final tour, Scotland says, “Thank you so much to the Mt. Olive Community for the trust, partnership and love you have extended my way. You are my home away from home. I wish for your children’s future seasons to be linked with learning, harmony and light. Stay united as you enrich the lives of our promising future. They are amazing! I will be a Marauder for life!

Kind Words From Colleagues and Families “Ann started as my mentor and quickly became my dear friend,” says Kelly Garry, CMS teacher. “What a gift for students to have had Ann as a teacher. She has always cared about the whole child, which goes way beyond academics. I always admired that Ann put aside the pressures of standardized test scores and instead instilled a love of reading, learning, and feeling important and heard. By focusing on the whole child, the academics all fell into place. Her ability to create a fun and meaningful lesson in minutes will always amaze me. The way Ann can laugh at herself, and situations has been a joy to many and helped us get through tough days.

“Ann’s dedication and willingness to reach out to those in need has been extraordinary,” continues Garry. “From the Kindness Tour to sending hugs through homemade blankets are just the tip of the iceberg. She modeled kindness and giving to all her students.

“Ann has touched the lives of so many and will continue to spread her love and kindness but now it will be outside of the classroom,” she says.

“Ann Scotland has positively impacted the lives of many students throughout her teach- ing career in the Mt. Olive School District,” says Dawn Walsh, CMS teacher. “Ann’s creative teaching styles along with the strong connections she forms with her students are just a few of the ways she exhibits her dedication and passion for teaching.”

Working with Scotland for 17 years, Walsh says, “Team teaching, kindness tours, walks at lunch, and Valentine’s Day pillows are some of my fondest memories with Ann.

“Ann has been an incredible mentor to me and an even better friend,” she adds. “Enjoy your retirement. You deserve it! I’ve loved our time together and I will miss you very much!”

Former Budd Lake resident Kristina Ailara is so happy her children had Scotland.

“Our children were incredibly blessed to have Ann Scotland as their teacher when they were young,” says Ailara of Sparta. “She builds strong relationships with each of her students and helps them realize the importance and power of “rainbow connections” and kindness while also kindling a love and an enthusiasm for learning. This beautiful foundation carried my children straight through college and into their careers. She is truly a “treasure” in our family’s hearts, and we wish her the best always.”

Adds Christine Rauh of Budd Lake, “Mrs. Scotland is a teacher who taught with her heart. She always saw the best in her students. She certainly made a positive difference for our children. Mrs. Scotland modeled kindness and compassion and passionately worked to instill in her students and the entire CMS community. We wish her all the best in her retirement. Kindness matters!”

Carmin Mangone of Flanders adds, “Scotland is the epitome of kindness, and I am so glad to have had at least one child go through her class. Not only does she touch every single family that comes through her class but with the kindness tours she’s been able to make a huge impact on the entire Mt. Olive community. And I hope that CMS will continue this beautiful tradition for many more years to come.”

Scotland concludes with her favorite quote by Hellen Keller: “My friends and family have made the story of my life.” —

“Thirty-nine years~ so many chapters filled with so many beautiful people,” she says. “Teaching has been way more than a job. It has been a blessing to me. I will be forever grateful to have had the opportunity to be useful in a spot that I can only hope made a difference!”