Abortion Resolution Workbook
Appendix A: What’s It Like to Talk With a Counselor? How do I begin? It may seem that you could just talk to a friend or family member instead of a counselor. Friends and family can certainly be helpful. At the same time, professional counselors are specially trained and experienced in helping people solve problems. They can help you learn new skills and understand your situation better. Also, they are separate from your everyday life and will respect your privacy. It may also seem that you don’t need to talk to a counselor—you may have told yourself that “only weak people talk to a counselor” or you can just “tough it out” or that “eventually the problem will go away.” Most people have tried to figure it out for a while before seeking help. If you have a hard time talking about feelings or personal issues, you are not alone. It’s always hardest to get started, but usually talking to someone experienced will get you feeling better faster. This is an opportunity to get to know yourself better and to learn new skills so that you can cope better in the future. Seeking help doesn’t mean that you are “crazy!” In fact, it means you want to be as healthy as you can be. Seeking help is a sign of strength and courage, like you have shown in doing the exercises in this guide. There are many different kinds of counselors or professionals who can help you with your feelings about your situation. You can expect to talk to someone in private and not have them repeat what you say to others. This confidentiality is an important benefit of professional counseling. (The rare exception to this is if you or someone else might be in danger of being harmed. Then, a professional may have to report it to an authority to keep you safe.) To get started, write down a short description of what’s been happening and what you hope to accomplish. An example might be: “I had an abortion. It was a complicated situation and I’ve been upset. I’d like to understand it better so I can feel normal again.” Keep this short description handy when you make the call. Look for a qualified counselor who is skilled in “reproductive loss,” problems after abortion, or whatever you think is the most important issue. Ask for a list of counselors from your clinic or doctor, school, clergy, or a mental health agency. If you have insurance that will cover the cost of counseling, ask for a list of counselors in their plan. You might want to talk to a few counselors before you choose one. A good counselor will not be biased or judge you for your situation or choices. It would probably not be in your best interests to entrust yourself and your feelings to someone who does not understand the abortion experience from a place of compassion and trust in you and your decision making. Find out about the charges, and if there is some financial assistance. Insurance may pay for part of it, or an agency may have a sliding scale (like at a mental health clinic or Family and Children’s Society). There may be someone you can speak to for free at the clinic or at your school or work. Many employers have a confidential Employee Assistance Program (EAP) available.
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