Whelmed

by Rachael Elliott Whelmed Dave Snell (He/Him)

The smarter you are the more likely you are to struggle with your mental health. I dunno whether that makes y’all more or less likely to hit the skids to be honest. You did make it into uni, but then you actually chose to come here when higher education is the biggest money-making scam the boomers managed since the housing crisis so… Jury’s out. Recent stats from the NZ Health survey reported that women aged 15-24 were experiencing anxiety and depression at double the rate of men the same age, and Māori youth are 1.5 times more likely to have a diagnosis of anxiety disorder than non-Māori. Our trans, non-binary, gender queer, and takatāpui whānau are even more marginalised, so they’re even deeper in the hole. So don’t try and tell me that there isn’t a societally constructed, gender specific, kyriarchal component to our mental health crisis. The effect of gender-roles and the negative experiences of these throughout your life, often starting before you even realise what is happening, is a very large and specific risk factor for mental illness. Not to mention the fact that we’re usually left literally holding the baby (or the sibling, or parent or grandparent). Despite being the gold fucking standard of humanity, wom*n (yes, all wom*n, inclusive) are being thrown under the fucking bus. In every country from which data is available, in every racial, ethnic, and age group, from every historical period: we have lower arrest rates than men for all crime categories except prostitution (which shouldn’t be a crime, sex work is work). Several peerreviewed studies over the last few decades have shown that wom*n outperform men in many of the key areas that make for good leadership: self-awareness, kindness, self-control, humility, social skills, and moral sensitivity. While men outperform us in unprovoked aggression, psychopathy, narcissism, greed, and the kinds of Machiavellian tendencies that create things like white collar crime, mishandling of a global pandemic and the need for the #metoo movement. And yet they’re still in charge. And you still ask us why we need feminism. Anyway, I digress. Why are wom*n more likely to struggle with their mental health than men? MaYBE iT’s ThEiR HoRMoNEs? Are wom*n more likely to be anxious and depressed because we do all the emotional labour or because men aren’t allowed to have feelings? Either way you can thank the patriarchy, and the solution is feminism. Perhaps we’re anxious and depressed because we’ve been sexualised since we

were children? Nothing like never being sure if you can trust a person to keep you Flatting is hard. I’m glad I don’t have to do it anymore. Even if rents on your toes. weren’t soaring, they are still difficult. You are in a very long running episode of Big Brother with no prizes, but way more drama. All Perhaps it’s because we still get paid less of this can affect one’s mental health. I still can’t look at a post-it than men for doing the same work. Nothing note without flashbacks of a flatmate who used to vacuum once a like feeling unappreciated to make you want month, and then would put a note on the wall complaining that he to stay in bed all day. was the only one who did any housework (he wasn’t). The flat mate who used to mosh in the lounge and put a hole through the wall is Maybe it’s because we’ve been taught 10 another memory I have - at least that meant there was nothing to different ways not to be raped but boys still put passive aggressive notes on. haven’t been told not to rape us? That deep People will tell you that flatting is good because you get exposed to different worldviews. That can be good, bad, or weird. The flatmate who brought an eel back from Ōpōtiki and kept it as a pet was hilarious, but an example of this. Feeding it Big Ben pies in a little paddling pool and leaving it on the laundry floor to see if we down, some men think they’re entitled to would pick it up thinking it was a belt. our smiles, our time, and our bodies, even when we say no. Up north in Whangārei was even more weird/stressful/entertaining. I used to live in a rough-ish area of Whangārei called Raumanga. On Maybe we’re all fucked up because we’re a street full of tinny houses (Warwick Crescent represent), it used to more likely to experience mental and be a weekly activity to sit out the front of our house with a beer and physical violence and abuse than men, and watch them get raided. I feel the shoes over the phone lines were trauma is directly linked to the development a good giveaway. Or ongoing parties, break-ins, stolen property, of anxiety, depression, and a host of other mental illnesses. Maybe, until we sort that out, wom*n are going to struggle more with their mental health than men.

assaults, police up your street, or people stealing your washing off the line. I’m going to go out on a limb and say men are easier to flat with. Because we’re stupid. For example, I used to bribe my flatmates to pick me up from my video rental job (back during those times) with porn. For the petrol they spent, they could’ve paid for it themselves - but economics goes out the window when dicks are involved. But I digress.

" I’m going to go out on a limb and say men are easier to flat with. Because we’re stupid. "

While thoughts and prayers don’t do anything (yeah, I said it), I do feel for those renters out there at the moment. Please look out for each other. Spare a couch for the occasional couch surfer. Cos being a renter is hard. Property managers are scummy. Rental companies don’t care. If you are fortunate enough to not be renting, and you own your house, let’s not judge those who are doing it rough. Missing a few avocados on toast is not going to get you a house. Take care.