IT’S

It’s a new day, a deep breath, a sweaty face, a bootcamp, a catch-up, a challenge, a realisation, a conversation, a push and a pull, a moment of peace, a struggle and a win, a feeling, a superpower, a soundtrack and a stage, a weight plate, a new limit, a grind, a flex, a heavy set, a commitment, a culture, a community, a way of live, a second home, a place to discover your playground.

We think about Nexus as a brand but is it an entity worthy of its own rights and opinions. I really want to know.

As new students, I know it’s kinda weird to pick up a Nexus, this strange mag that you had no idea existed before gracing the hallowed halls of Te Whare Wānanga o Waikato. There are images on the cover, sometimes something controversial and even the odd cock. But who is Nexus and what does it mean? There’s no right answer and there’s no wrong question. This year has seen me become overly symbolic and almost too pretentious in my queries towards life's tough questions. I’m merely the current tone-indicator for Nexus. And it’s currently / notserious.

Each week, I put the question out to my contributors and staff, what do you want to do? We’re all throwing ideas and seeing what sticks, and as we work into a new world for student media there’s no actual answer. What we can discern is that students are here, but how can we look to them for portrayal in the media. Student media is the rare-occasion where the consumer contains and controls the narrative. Yes, that means you–first year in your lab at 11:00 am on a Tuesday [spooky if I get it right]. I don’t want to put out that typical ‘watch this space’ message, causing you all to eagerly wait with our socials notifying you of all the good stuff we’re going to fill your minds with. But I don’t want to continue down the road of strange features and lacklustre news-telling. I want to be different, quirky and unique.

I’m not normal, I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in, I don’t want to fit in.

So here’s what I’m thinking little homies. We’re going to just fuck around in this world of print media. I’m going to create some strange drug pieces, possibly getting drugged again in the hopes of a 4000 word downfall [check out last year's mag @ issuu.com/nexusmag for more]. We’re not going to stick to a structure, and make sure we’re featuring all of you. I want to see what the fuck Waikato is all about. Who are we as a collective? What is our point of difference?

The reason I ask is because we’re a melting pot of everything here. We’re also unique, we don’t fit in. We don’t–you know the rest. Nexus offices are filled with 2 things. My music [follow my playlists] and spirited debates with my Te Ao Māori editor Kae’sharn, debating the campus culture. We’re both Māori, so it’s easy to see tauira māori have the largest numbers on campus. But a dig into archives sees a deep goth culture, bogan’s galore and what can only be described as a cult sacrifice. What happened to us? I want you to tell me. Tell me who you are and how you want to be seen. Let’s put some visibility on the fringe of society.

That’s all from me little homies, I want to hear from you. Letters to the editor so to speak. Tell me more and don’t hold back.

Chur for now, Uncle Jak.

Letters to the Editor

Do you have something to say? Want to complain and a yarn about shit? Nows the time. I want to make something clear though. I am not, nor will I ever, be obligated by any rule or guideline to publish your letter. It’s more a space for you to have a bitch if you need. Call out your mate for being a shit cunt or to just be published.

letters@nexusmag.oo.nz

36

Low Five Rad Grad

Dreamy Editor-in-Chief

Jak Rāta editor@nexusmag.co.nz

Burly Boi Creative [Lead Designer] Stien Huizenga design@nexusmag.co.nz

Dipsh*t Deputies [Deputy Editors]

Tehana De Klerk tehana@nexusmag.co.nz

Nexus Classroom

Aria Matthews

Filly Arias

Jasmine Gorman

Social Links

Waikat’ Flats

The C*nt Basket [aka C*nt Flaps according to Jak] 38

42

Pass the AUX

Seamus is young, his playlist is nostalgic but just selfindulgent

43 Puzzles

Horoscopes

Gummon now, do you really need us to explain this? Be so fucking for real...

Seamus Lohrey seamus@nexusmag.co.nz

Salty Staff Scribes [Staff Writers]

Yashanshi Kala

Joel Collins

Te Koretake Etita [Te Ao Maori]

Kae’sharn Hose

Insta Reel Reject [Media]

Jordan Fritz jordan@nexusmag.co.nz

Glorified Sh*t-poster [Socials]

Leilani Summer

Cover + Centerfold Artist @lurker_inc

Contributors

Kat Jones

Ω≈ç87send-nudes∑åœ√©,/... 44

Kaihautu Rāta

Sarah Blake

Random Audtior

Religious Refugee

Disclaimers

Nexus is a magazine made by students, for students. As such it’s sometimes controversial views don’t actually represent those of the Nexus Editor, the writers, or the sponsors.

Location

The Nexus office is located down the hall at the WSU, usually with Alexa playing terribly dated music.

Printing

The Forest Stewardship Council® (FSC®) is an independent, not for profit, nongovernment organization established to support environmentally appropriate, socially beneficial, and economically viable management of the world’s forests. FSC® vision is where the world’s forests meet the social, ecological, and economic rights and needs of the present generation without compromising those of future generations.

Initial figures show a staggering low in census data, we looked at those figures and broke down what was important and what you should take away from that. All information shown is as of the original print date, 20th April 2023. Any changes will be updated.

Yashanshi kala News Writer

1News has released raw figures of the 2023 census, showing that just 649,200 forms have been returned from people of Māori descent. That is 64 percent. This latest data from Statistics New Zealand has attracted a lot of concern, noting that “this year’s Māori census turnout may be worse than the record-low turnout of 2018.”

Census is an essential tool for understanding and planning the country’s future, so a low turnout can be a significant disadvantage moving forward as a community. The forms can be completed online or on paper, which we would assume is a great strategy moving forward to give individuals the option to choose according to their preferences. Only, the results aren’t as such.

Statistics New Zealand had a target of 90% Māori participants this year, relying heavily on their forms for a developing Aotearoa. Only, the numbers aren’t an official figure and could include duplicates, however, the target of 90% is well off with [so far] only 64%.

Statistics New Zealand’s Deputy Government statistician Simon Mason quotes, “We would have liked to see a higher turnout from Māori and Pacific people because they are underrepresented in almost all the data that we have from them.” While still counting the forms, Simon adds, “For the remaining time that we have available to us, it’ll be a hard target [of 90%] for us to meet.”

A further estimate of approximately 357,600 forms are yet to be received from Māori people, about one-third of the Māori population.

Te Whare Wānanga o Waikato’s Tahu Kukutai [Waikato University’s Te Ngira Institute for Population Research] said that would be very difficult to achieve. She indicates she’d be concerned if she was “Stats NZ. It’s a rough indication, but it’s an important one.”

"We do have to be careful because the actual response rates can't be computed until after the post-survey which happens after the census so these aren't gold standard rates, but they are a good indicator of how the rates are tracking."

In 2018, the Māori turnout records census received was about 68%, a low record but it’s worse now, going 4% down.

Professor added, “They have taken on board a lot of the lessons from 2018, a year which went horribly wrong. They put more people on the ground, they've gone to greater efforts to engage with communities, there's certainly a lot more money that's been put into the census this time and they've developed iwi partnerships.”

One of the key factors in the low turnout is likely to be a lack of awareness and understanding about the importance of the census. Many Māori communities are located in rural and remote areas, where access to information and communication can be limited. This can make it difficult for people to understand why the census is important and how it can benefit their communities.

Another factor is a lack of trust in the government and its ability to represent Māori interests. There is a long history of mistrust between Māori communities and the government, which has been exacerbated by a series of high-profile controversies, including the Foreshore and Seabed Act and the ongoing debate around water rights. Keeping this long history in mind, it’s important to now utilise this time to support this particular community and grow their trust in the failing government.

There are also concerns about the quality of the engagement and support provided by the government to Māori communities in the lead-up to the census. While the government has made efforts to improve engagement and outreach, there are still concerns that these efforts are not reaching all Māori communities, particularly those in more remote and rural areas.

To address these concerns, there are calls for greater investment in outreach and support for Māori communities. This could include targeted advertising campaigns, community engagement programs, and increased investment in technology and communication infrastructure to improve access to information and support.

There is also a need for greater recognition and representation of Māori interests in government decisionmaking. For example, involving greater consultation and engagement with Māori communities on policy and decision-making, as well as the creation of more representative structures within government.

Although the government invested over $100 million to get it “right this time” and boosted the delivery of paper surveys by 40%, as well as doubling the number of census workers on the ground to 3,500, the results aren’t as appealing. Statistics New Zealand must really consider various “factors” to boost the Māori community’s engagement for the future.

New Zealand is experiencing a sharp decline in interest and arrivals of overseas-based nurses, according to new data from Immigration NZ. Unfortunately, our Prime Minister’s strategy of increasing the minimum wage since April 2023 hasn’t made much of a positive difference in our lives, including the nurses.

The visa applications and acceptances from nurses have plunged in recent months, with numbers more than halving since August 2022, details Immigration New Zealand. In the eight months from January to August 2022, an average of 126 nurses arrived each month, but in the seven months since, the average is just 59. This is a significant concern for the country's nursing union (NZNO), who believe their 55,000 workforce is already short by around 4000-5000 nurses.

Kerri Nuku, the union’s organiser, is not shocked and says the new numbers fit with her anecdotal experience. Nuku tells APP, “We’re just not seeing the same interest in New Zealand at the moment.”

Compounding New Zealand's struggle is the surge of interest among its workforce moving to Australia. Last month, 4,951 Kiwi nurses had registered with the Australian health regulator AHPRA since August, a necessary step before crossing the ditch. This has led to concerns that the total nursing workforce is shrinking at a time when it needs to grow.

The government has acknowledged the decline and has made steps to keep nursing staff, including agreeing to a number of pay deals. Around 8000 community nurses will now get a wage hike of up to 15 per cent. However, New Zealand still relies heavily on a steady stream of overseas nurses to maintain its health workforce. The issue is, new Immigration figures show that overseas nurses aren’t arriving and aren’t even interested.

To lure overseas nurses, Immigration Minister Michael Wood designated registered nurses on the "green list" as a profession that would receive automatic residency in December 2022. That approach failed as the data provided to AAP shows, stated in an article, “applications and arrivals dropped in the first three months of 2023 from the final three months of 2022.”

While the Immigration Department’s process of residency applications from two years ago remains slow and ethically questionable, Prime Minister Chris Hipkins makes empty promises. “This certainly makes us very competitive in terms of the immigration pathway, and then we'll continue to work with health providers around how they make sure they are providing attractive offerings to people to want to come here." He hopes the “expansion” of the green list is enough to attract nurses.

While Prime Minister issues statements, the nursing union is planning a National Day of Action for nurses, with rallies in 20 cities expected to draw thousands, in a bid to raise awareness of the critical need for more nurses in the health workforce.

Every NZ citizen is eligible for a $15,000 post Covid Health and Welfare Payment.

Don’t look into this one, just ring up IRD and demand it. Tell them I sent you. Trust.

Huntly are placing a toll gate on the Waikato River at $5 a vessel.

Apparently Huntly still hasn’t noticed that nobody wants to go through Huntly because it’s, well, Huntly. This initiative is only bound to push people away and make it worse..

Richie McCaw is moving to New Plymouth to run for the mayoralty with a new tattoo on right forearm saying ‘TARANAKI and feet the size of dinner plates.

As a Cantabrian, I can’t believe it. I know he originally betrayed Otago for us but this is a new low, Richard.

Chris Hipkins is making being bald Illegal.

A strange one but it seems legit. Clearly it’s a bit targeted because half of the opposition are balding, old men.

I heard the CEO, Greg Foran, say it was because “nobody wants to bloody go there anyway.” His words, not mine.

I understand that it’s irrational for sure but instead of pouring money into something that scares the life out of me, I thought I’d look into things that I actually enjoy, or anything that gave me a good chuckle when I was looking into photos of them. So here’s a small list of sports I’d much rather take my 10 huck and bet on than horses or kuri.

Ultimate Frisbee

I’ve been seeing this more frequently at the parks near beaches, or shamelessly on a busy field in front of arguably real sports. What’s interesting about Frisbee is just how into it the players are. They’re pouring their heart and soul into a game that simply looks silly from the outside perspective. There’s nothing negating the definite talent I’m sure it takes to play but that won’t stop me side-eyeing them. Also there's no referee - this is part of the ‘Spirit of the Game’, or Ultimate’s emphasis on sportsmanship and fair play. So no rules right?

Unicycle Hockey

So it’s like if clowns got so fed up with making everyone laugh and took to the condescending single track across their dome. Sign my gumby ass up.

Crate [day] Running

Is this not purchasing a crate too late on crate day? I know you’ve all been a victim to this, why would we not capitalise on this?

Hairiest Back

One for the girls. I’ve read tales of men dropping shirts to compete for the thickest patches of hair covering that untouched skin. I don’t know about you, but you ever just look at someone and just know they’re hiding bigfoot under their carhartt sweaters. So I’m sure I could make bank on figuring out who’s who in the world of hairy boys.

Egg+Spoon Race

A childhood classic, and one for the books. I want to just take a minute to appreciate how intense those kids can get when there’s the promise of what, a chocolate bar or some stickers? Either way, it’s kill or be killed. I’m putting my money on the wee speck-wearing tyke. They’re the ones to watch, so to speak, because you know there’s nothing else going on in that head.

Crush of the Week

— Lisa

Blackpink just headlined at Coachella and were fucking amazing. While these four women were great in their own way, we have to talk about Lisa (marry me please). She absolutely bodied her performance to her solo song “Money”; it’s all over TikTok and we are living for it. The outfit, the hair, the fucking TALENT. Blackpink really ate up that stage and reminded haters why they will always remain iconic.

And if Lisa told me to jump, I would ask “how high?”.

Cheeky 10 [People that would survive a zombie apocalypse]

Keanu Reeves

Does this really need an explanation?

Bro would fuck up all his opps and still be humble about it.

Chuck Norris

He might be 83, but he’s Chuck Norris.

Vin Diesel

He would use the power of family.

Pete Davidson

This one is a bit of a stretch, but he would probably rizz up some badass survivors or the zombies.

Will Smith

He was not in I Am Legend for you to disagree with this. He would probably unleash all his pent up anger.

Uma Thurman

Get this woman a katana and it’s all over.

Milla Jovovich

She performed all her stunts (except one) in Resident Evil (which literally has zombies). Need I say more?

Jet Li

At this point I don’t even need explanations because who is gonna one up this guy.

Andrew Lincoln

He’s Ricky Dicky Doo Dah Grimes.

Kit Harington

He’s Jon Snow.

“ATTENTION ALL SHOPPERS, be advised that there is a gang war happening in aisle 9, a race war in aisle 4 and a Star Wars in aisle 13. They’re filming a flashback to an alternate dimension where Luke Skywalker works at a shitty countdown and is straight. Wait, actually I think it’s a drugfueled hallucination where he’s stealing from a countdown and he’s straight. I’m not sure the specifics except that they made Luke straight in this one. I must say, I’m excited to see it.

All customers, remember to have a spend-tastic day!” There, announcements are done. I sure am glad I didn’t say anything embarrassing, like how I sleep on the toilet paper in the toilet paper aisle ever since my wife kicked me out of the house after learning how much time and money I was spending on Minecraft Pocket Edition. Whelp, time to play some Minecraft Pocket Edition!

News in Numbers

is where Chelsea sits in the Premier League. This is the only good news I have as a Spurs fan.

Moving on, today we have a special deal where if you return stolen posters and other stolen promotional items, you get a free Pinky bar! Discludes items stolen while the deal is in place, assholes. Other clearance deals today include discounted toilet paper (unraveled), gasoline sold by the Pump bottle, and 100% off Emily in Produce. Oh and one last thing, Emily? Run.

Also be advised that there has been a large spill in the bakery section and it is heavily advised to avoid that area. Joey had a bit of an accident while making his tiger bread, it turns out his ‘secret ingredient’ he’d been using wasn’t mayo. The thing is he had a whole vat saved up and now that’s getting cleaned out of the floor tile ridges so we’re only gonna be able to sell one tiger bread every seven minutes from now on. Actually, I’m just getting an update, and allegedly his new record is six.

There’s a year old Rachel Foster completed the Boston Marathon six months after suffering traumatic brain injury. What a woman.

minute scene of Thanos getting the power stone was deleted from Infinity War. Give us the Thanos Cut.

I was forced to attend church every week as a youngun, no exceptions - every week, 52 times a year.

Just because I have been fortunate in my life does not mean I owe any thanks to a magic man in the sky. For every one of me, there is someone who suffers great misfortune - are they cursed by a magic man in the sky?

I have found hard work to be more effective than prayer when it comes to achieving my goals.

You cannot be convinced out of your belief in god. The same way I am very unlikely to be convinced out of my rejection of the supernatural. These are very deeply ingrained view points that colour our experiences differently, one person drawing holy meaning out of the ordinary and seemingly extraordinary (interpreting coincidences/thoughts/feelings as proof of god's existence), and one person thinking it aint that deep. I know for I used to be like you, my faith was strong, with no doubts in my mind, being reassured by all manner of trivial things.

How can there be a god who is benevolent, all-knowing, and allpowerful in this world we live in. A world so full of suffering. I am sure you have heard the debating points before.

I used to be like you - my faith was strong, Around the age of 10, I was desperate for proof of God.

At Sunday School, we were being taught how to pray. This was a Pentecostal church, where the outright supernatural was encouraged. I already could not speak in tongues. How inadequate I felt, the least pious in the room.

Being taught how to pray, we were told to tell the teacher in front of the class what God was telling us in our prayer.

God didn’t say anything to me - I only had my own thoughts in high allow one of his followers to take bad drugs and end up in hospital, just a few years ago. surely he could have prevented this have tried with Mother -

This is a regret, it only brought us grief.

I think that worrying about the truth of something innately unknowable, indeterminate and unprovable such as “is God real” or any take on what happens when consciousness ends contradictions, full of tales of barbary and slaughter of ages past. The collective human knowledge base surely surpassed that of those ancient uneducated writers long ago. What first put doubts in my mind was the very book itself. At 13, urged by Christians such as you, I opened the holy book. I picked a random page, sure that God would guide me to wisdom I needed to read.

What was written on those pages disgusted me.

How a God of love urged his tribe to brutally massacre all their neighbours, because their origin story and magic man in the sky was slightly different.

How misogyny, homophobia, and hate fill those pages.

More progressive strains may claim a poetry in the madness, not to be taken literally. The pastor on Sunday often speaks in an uplifting tone, bringing positive energy to all manner of everyday topics. Does this make his book any more true? Cherry picking only the most appropriate lines, slicing and dicing around the unsophisticated brutality. Completely disregarding the first half.

If such gymnastics are needed to make the Bible palatable, does that not make you wonder of the true nature of the book? Have you ever wondered about the origin of religions? How they are born, how they spread, why people believe? A phenomenon as natural as you and me. Every culture has an origin story. How is it that all the others are blasphemy, but you are correct? You curse me for being prideful for giving up the faith. “How you think you know everything, child”. I only see your pride, believing all others to be wrong, you holding the truth. I do not claim to know the answers to such matters as “is god real” and what happens after we die. These are unknowable. I surely believe there to be no supernatural plane. But why would this God have caused me to change my mind? How cruel of him to curse me for my unbelief, banishing me to hell if I don’t return to the fold, even though it was him in control of everything the whole time.

How silly it is to hate someone due to the way they are.

Mother, I have first hand heard the most awful of curses you lay on the LGBT community. Little do you know my brother, your own son, is a proud member of the community, your words hurt him greatly. He is honest and proud in all but a select few instances - still in the closet at the Christmas dinner. I see the religion fuelled hate on the news, it seems hard to find a religion of peace, Christianity is no exception. A god who judges you for not just your actions, but the very thoughts that pop into your head out of your control does not sound like. this surely is terrible for a child going through puberty, all new thoughts going through my mind,

Am I evil? what must I do to repent for my sins, I thought to myself.

Religion places such grave danger on the mundane.

Masturbation, premarital sex, getting a tattoo. As I have grown, I have broken many rules of your holy book. Why place so much meaning in these random acts? Why did you deprive me of watching Harry Potter all my childhood, convinced it was the work of the devil? Surely you see how silly you were. I missed out on a lot of great secular art. Not allowed to listen to secular music, condemned to listening to CCM.

Mother, I have witnessed your spiritual journey following the diagnosis of my sister, your very own daughter. She is closest to you, and you are closest to her.

This has weighed heavily on all of us, and I see your sadness and sorrow as you know it will endure, his life seemingly derailed so young. Can I blame you for your religious journey, so desperate to find piety - I know a religious person could interpret these times as punishment.

What has helped me was the brave souls who came out of the closet before me. Christian heroes of my youth, jolly old Jesus loving Youtubers Rhett and Link, I used to watch their videos as a child. We used to watch them together. I intermittently watched their podcast as an adolescent.

On this podcast, they talked of their spiritual deconstruction, how they navigated all manner of viewpoint shifts from bible bashing Southern baptists in North Carolina to non-believers living in Los Angeles, and how they navigated the deep taboos of leaving the religion of their family. Many religions are like thispromising to banish, disown, cut out those who are on the fence about leaving. Their words helped me reach a similar place to them - I am not a bad person for leaving Christianity. Thank you for reading. I hope it was tasteful to people no matter where they sit spiritually.

I do not like it when Christians say they will pray for me after hearing me speak about my deeply personal, nuanced spiritual journey. It always comes off as smug.

If you have a differing view point, or want to discuss these matters further, in any capacity, as a closeted atheist or a deity fearing religious person, I would love to hear it. Email me at religious-trauma-anonymous@nexusmag.co.nz