19 minute read
CirCles of Healing
the Power of gathering in community
by Linda Sechrist
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Had the intellectual achievements of human culture evolved during a revolution based on living systems in the natural world rather than one of rapid industrial growth and resource consumption, we might be experiencing interconnectedness instead of divisiveness during this time of social and ecological crisis.
A nature-focused revolution embracing humans as an integral part of the Earth’s natural systems would have instilled a deeper understanding of the wonders of the human body as a living system imbued with inner intelligence, as well as the intelligence of the non-human living world. This perspective, held by Native Americans, would have helped to create sustainable human communities that flourish by connecting, collaborating, cooperating and communicating.
With such approaches as wisdom circles, story circles, power of eight intention circles, support groups, prayer circles and dialogue circles exploring conflict solutions, Western minds are just beginning to comprehend how small-community experiences of fellowship and communion can assuage feelings of separation and isolation, and create inner experiences of wholeness and belonging.
Mentoring Each Other
Although not always sharing a common geographical location, small communities formed around common interests and shared values enable emotional healing. The ManKind Project (MKP), which describes itself as a “men’s community for the 21st century,” has more than 1,000 peer-facilitated groups in 22 countries in which men mentor each other through their life passages.
“In our MKP communities, there’s a sense of shared commitment and the shared values of accountability, authenticity, compassion, generosity, integrity, respect, leadership and multicultural awareness, along with a shared vision pointing us in the direction we want to go together,” says Boysen Hodgson, MKP-USA communications director. “While MKP’s mission statement informs our work, in New Warrior Adventure training, each man creates a personal mission statement. Mine is, ‘I transform culture by designing change, building bridges and co-creating space for connection.’” According to Hodgson, when a man shares how he hears his inner voice for the first time along with his story in another man’s story, he becomes aware of his interior capacities and cultivates internal and external listening skills. By sharing personal stories, men experience epiphanies that can result in connections and bonding. Douglas Bonar, a 35-year veteran of mental health counseling and owner of A Center for Wellness, in Pinellas Park, Florida, has been facilitating men’s groups for 22 years. Men and occasionally women that have been court-ordered to undergo counseling with Bonar for 29 weeks after their incarceration learn the value of growing together in community. “I initiate the uninitiated who’ve never heard about the powerful impacts of respectful, attentive listening without judgement, giving/receiving feedback and support, and learning about successes and failures in the company of community,” says Bonar. “Actively engaging the minds, hearts and energy of people participating in community makes experiencing emotional healing possible. Feeling truly heard and deeply listened to and comprehending life from a multisensory human perception and a sense of oneness can lead to understanding that we are never alone, the universe is alive—conscious, intelligent and compassionate.”
More about progress than perfection, Bonar’s unique Roots and Wings Way of Wholeness approach to healing in community tills the soil of an inner world and plants seeds via the introduction of guidelines for creating authentic power, spiritual growth, levels of consciousness, coherence, the realization of one’s true self as more than an enculturated personality, the Noetic experience of oneness, humans as energetic beings, emotions as energy in motion and a coherent energetic field that the HeartMath Institute notes creates synchronization, or entrainment, between the heart and mind, as well as a sense of unity.
Sharing Sacred Space
Jean Shinoda Bolen, a Jungian psychiatrist, activist and author of Moving Toward the Millionth Circle: Energizing the Global Women’s Movement, encourages everyone to follow a path with soul and take on a personal assignment that contributes to change, while relying on the support of circle communities of like-minded individuals. “Fundamental principles applicable to any group include creating sacred space, listening with compassion and for wisdom, speaking from the heart and personal experience, inviting silence and reflection when needed, taking responsibility for your experience and your impact on the circle, keeping the confidence of the
circle and making decisions when needed by consensus,” says Bolen, whose active events include a prayer circle and another with women she has been together with since the 1980s.
“The more frequently a circle meets to fully witness one another’s life stories, including all the changes and crises, a growing trust and heart connection occurs and a coherent energy field is created,” says Bolen. At the beginning of her circle gatherings, upon hearing the tone of a Tibetan bowl, she says, everyone immediately drops into coherence; a state of connectedness in which the whole is greater than the sum of the individual parts.
Cultivating Deep Listening
As the host of New Dimensions, a nationally syndicated radio program that addresses cultural shifts, Justine Willis Toms has deeply explored interconnectedness with some of the greatest minds on the planet, including the Dalai Lama and physicist David Bohm. Referring to her circle communities as “friends of the heart,” she enthuses, “When I am deeply listening to another or speaking authentically aloud in a circle of trust, I get to hear myself in a way that I don’t if I’m only listening to what is in my head.”
Recalling a tumultuous time in her life, Toms relates a profound healing experience that occurred in a circle community in which she and her husband had been participating since the 1980s. “This particular circle usually gathers for an entire weekend. On one, I arrived in deep distress—so much so that on Friday I began pouring out my fears, anxiety, blame and judgements. I raged through the night and didn’t stop until after breakfast on Saturday, when I felt complete, totally heard, emotionally healed and revived.”
From a sense of peace and clarity, Toms knew that healing occurred because of the circle’s capacity for deep listening. “We know and trust the true genius that each of us is, and we know how to not be afraid for each other when life is in a rollercoaster cycle and we’re at the bottom, but don’t want to pull the brake because we’ll never have the momentum to go back up. This is the power of a circle of friends of the heart who love you,” says Toms, who
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shares a favorite African saying, “‘A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it to you when you have forgotten it. Those who love you are not fooled by the mistakes you’ve made or the dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly, your wholeness when you are broken, your innocence when you’re feeling guilty and your purpose when you are confused.’”
Connecting through Common Emotions
Physician Jennifer Phelps, owner of Phelps MD Integrative Medicine, in Redding, Connecticut, is a trained facilitator of small groups who has worked in communities traumatized by natural disasters and human-caused catastrophes in her role as a faculty member of the Center for MindBody Medicine, in Washington, D.C. “Where individuals listen to the grief and loss of others, emotional healing can be quite profound. Sharing stories in community, we learn we’re not alone and isolated, but rather related and connected in our human emotions,” says Phelps, adding that in groups of fewer than six people cohesiveness dissipates, leaving only conversation and cross-talk.
The process of human and community development unfolds from within each person, relationship and community. According to Cate Montana, of Kula, Hawaii, author of The E-Word: Ego, Enlightenment & Other Essentials, awakening to the illusion of separation, which can happen in community, sparks healing. “The persona of an individual as only a body and mind is the big sleep,” advises Montana, whose life work has been about waking people up to the truth of their essential spiritual nature and giving them tools for a more fulfilling life.
Having experiences of fellowship and communion with like-minded people can make it possible to observe and understand how ego and mind function, and to become aware of crippling social programming which fragments, separates and divides us. Experiencing a sense of wholeness in such an environment allows for healing naturally on many levels.
Linda Sechrist is Natural Awakenings’ senior staff writer. Connect at LindaSechrist.com.
by Justine Willis Toms
When I tell someone that I’ve been meeting in a circle with the same people for more than three decades, they invariably ask, “How can I have that in my life?” They are eager to hear my stories, but feel overwhelmed about how to start a circle of their own. While those first steps feel like the biggest steps, they are really baby steps. Three-step advice: 1. Make the commitment and write it down 2. Put out the call 3. Be consistent
step One: set forth a clear intention.
Years ago, I learned from Rev. Mary Manin Morrissey that everything is born twice: first in the imagination and then into the world. In the beginning, you will not know all the details, but you need to be clear in the overall intention of starting a circle and meeting regularly. Instead of saying, “Having a circle in my life is a good idea,” say, “It’s as good as done; I’m going to make it so no matter what.” Then write it down. This anchors it into the world of manifestation.
step two: put out the call.
After making the inner commitment, you need to tune into other people that want to travel with you. It doesn’t take a lot of people to begin; one or two others will be fine. Talk to a friend about this idea. You may feel awkward at first, but be assured there is a field of energy holding you—humans we have been circling since the dawn of history. If people turn you down, do not be discouraged. Trust that the perfect people will begin to show up. It is my experience that if even two people meet using circle principles on a regular basis it acts as an attractor for others.
step three: Meet on a consistent basis.
Put your circle time in your calendar as an important event. Keep this commitment just as you would a medical or dental appointment. Show up and keep the appointment even if you are the only one. There will be times when you feel too tired to go. Go anyway. Afterwards, you’ll be truly delighted you went. Being sporadic in your meeting time will create a “leaky container”. Meeting consistently builds a powerful and vitalizing bond.
Best practices for circles
These agreements have helped circles to function more successfully for all participants. n Consider it a sacred space n One person speaks at a time n Speak and listen from the heart n Encourage and welcome diverse points of view n Listen with discernment instead of judgment n When in doubt or need, pause and silently ask for guidance n Share leadership and resources n Decide together how decisions will be made n Work toward consensus when possible n Offer experience instead of advice n Decide together what is to be held in confidence n Speak from your own experiences and beliefs rather than speaking for others n Open and close the circle by hearing each voice (Check-ins and check-outs)
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What’s In Your Mattress?
The following information may be disturbing to some. That’s because the Environmental Protection Agency has identified at least four possibly dangerous chemicals commonly found in some synthetic mattresses—benzene, propane, naphthalene and styrene—especially bedding made in China and overseas, where such governing agencies do not exist. Mattress?
Consider these facts:
● Typical mattresses made from artificial materials are known to emit potentially harmful gases in your bedroom—a phenomenon known as off-gassing. ● Laboratory researchers in the U.S. and Europe have identified up to 61 potentially harmful chemicals that off-gas from typical synthetic mattresses. ● Exposure to these 61 chemicals has been associated with irritation of the skin, eyes and digestive systems. ● Additionally, the chemicals off-gassed by synthetic mattresses have been associated with headache, fatigue, depression and even hearing loss. ● Your skin, the most porous entry point into your body, has contact with a mattress for 8 hours every night, on average. ● Children, who breathe faster than adults, are especially vulnerable to chemical exposure.
Every night, we lie down with minimal clothing for a seemingly good night’s sleep. But in reality, while lying on a conventional mattress, we are breathing in and absorbing through our skin a range of chemicals from synthetic materials—chemicals that can disrupt our sleep cycles and negatively impact our health.
Our mattresses emit gases from a toxic brew of components used to create them. From the polyurethane foam used in the padding to fire retardants and other additives, conventional mattresses continue to release chemicals in gaseous form long after they roll out of the factory.
Even after they have finished off-gassing, the chemically based construction of a conventional mattress provides an ideal environment for dust and dust mites, whose excrement is the #1 trigger for asthma attacks.
And get this. You know those white labels on a mattress that say, “Do Not Remove”? Incredibly, the law actually allows manufacturers to include potentially hazardous chemicals in your mattress without disclosing the fact on any label.
But if a true list of ingredients were available for conventional mattresses, it would likely include TDI (a common component), a known carcinogen, which can cause respiratory ailments such as bronchitis and asthma.
In addition, liver damage and breathing problems have been linked to vinyl chloride monomers, another common mattress material.
The list goes on. Unfortunately, it is highly unlikely that you would be given information about any of these chemicals from a manufacturer of conventional, synthetic mattresses.
The Natural Alternative
One of the most significant actions we can take to reduce our exposure to toxins and improve our overall health is to make changes to the one household item that is in direct contact with our bodies for one third of our lives—our mattresses.
“There are more ways than ever to sleep better and wake up pain-free on a natural, organic mattress,” says Ben McClure, president of Gardner’s Mattress & More, in Lancaster, PA.
“Many people, like me, are in search of a natural sleep system. I was shocked to learn that toxic emissions from mattresses are a major source of daily pollution in our lives,” says McClure.
An all-natural, organic mattress is free of potentially harmful chemicals. Instead, natural materials like natural rubber are used. Rubber
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“All rubber used in our natural mattresses is from the sap of a rubber tree, which can yield rubber for up to 30 years. When a tree is done producing rubber, it is taken down and turned into furniture. A new tree is then planted in its place, thus making natural rubber a sustainable bedding component,” says McClure.
What’s the difference between an organic
mattress and a conventional one? “Organic mattresses are crafted from natural materials. Conventional mattresses are made mostly of artificial materials from nonrenewable sources, such as plastic and other petrochemicals,” says McClure.
Do organic mattresses come in different
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What To Look For
When researching natural, organic mattresses, look at these areas: 1. Visit a store that carries the top certified natural and organic brands including Naturepedic, Posh + Lavish and Gold Bond. “Each of these manufacturers crafts bedding that is safe and sustainable,” McClure recommends. 2. Try out a new mattress for at least 15 minutes. Lie down in various positions, to simulate a night of sleep. Look for a store that offers a clean pillow to test out. “We offer the only Dream Room, where you can spend 15 minutes to 4 hours resting or even sleeping on a mattress, with 100% sanitary linens, blankets and pillows so people can truly ‘test drive” any natural bedding,” says McClure. In a current COVID world we follow all current CDC
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If you’re not sleeping well or you’re worried about toxic chemicals in your bedroom, consider this: The two things in life you spend the most time on are work and sleep. How much of your remaining hours on earth do you want to waste losing sleep on an uncomfortable, chemical-laden mattress? That’s a question that many are asking.
Now Explore Your Options
“To help Natural Awakenings readers make the right choices, we’re offering a package of 4 Free Gifts for a limited time,” says McClure.
Readers may bring this article to the Gardner’s Mattress & More location to see the latest natural organic sleep systems and claim the following gifts:
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“To see the difference that natural and organic sleep systems have made in people’s lives is nothing short of miraculous,” says McClure.
Freelance writer Kevin Donlin is based in Minneapolis.
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As a reader of Natural Awakenings, you are entitled to 4 FREE GIFTS
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Bring this coupon to the store at 830 Plaza Blvd. in Lancaster (behind Park City Mall, next to VanScoy Jewelers). There’s no obligation to buy anything-just answer three simple questions. Your Readers’ Gifts expire Dec. 31, 2021.
