What are we teaching our children?

by Marguerite Boyer

I have been thinking a lot about social media and how people use it. For myself, I use it to keep in touch with friends and family around the world. Being in the newspaper business, I know for a fact that everything we put in print had better be backed up with evidence before it goes to print, otherwise we could be sued.

But it seems social media is different. From what I have seen over these past few years, you can post anything, and have people believe it, whether it is true or not.

I have seen parents and grandparents posting things that I am shocked by. Nasty comments about individuals and businesses here in our community, comments with no substance, etc.

Sometimes we get letters attacking individuals, or businesses, and most of the time these letters are anonymous, or the writer asks us not to print their name. We don’t print these letters, mainly because we don’t know the entire story of what actually happened, nor do we have the means at times to investigate. There is one thing I dislike more than anything else though, and

Eye On Activism

Micro-Aggressions

that is anonymous posts. We had two placed last year on our web site during the Provincial Elections, and those two posts caused a lot of trouble in the months to come. Was that the aim of those posts? We quickly took them down once we were notified. Whoever posted them, I would call a coward.

As a parent and grandparent, I would be shocked if any one of my own children posted anything like some of the comments I have seen on Facebook. Regardless of how they felt towards that individual that they are bashing on social media, there is no excuse for being rude or nasty. I may not have been the best mother, but one thing I hope I have taught my children are morals. Right from wrong. I may not like you as an individual, but I have no right to bash you on social media, just because I really don’t like you.

This all leads me to wondering what we are teaching our children? If you can stoop as low as name calling on social media, a platform that our children have access to, is this what you are teaching your child? That it is okay to bully and call people nasty names, something the school has been trying to teach the students not to do because of the hurt it can cause? During the Trump reign, I have seen that man use nicknames for many of his foes - nasty ones - and his audience taking pleasure in this. It is like we are going backwards instead of forwards.

I have no idea what drives a person to be so nasty on social media. Perhaps they have so much pain and anger themselves, that this is how they release it? I don’t know, I am not a psychologist, I don’t have the answers. I sometimes get angry at a person, and in my head call them all kinds of names; but I know it is morally wrong to post my thoughts, so why don’t others know as well? There is a code of conduct we were raised by: bullying and name calling is just not acceptable. And remember, our children and their children have access to this.

So what are we teaching our children?

by Zara Zrudlo

Micro-aggressions, as defined by Miriam Webster, are “a comment or action that subtly and often unconsciously or unintentionally expresses a prejudiced attitude toward a member of a marginalized group (such as a racial minority).”

For instance, the assumptions that we make about a person’s gender or pronouns when we talk to them briefly at the store don’t seem like a super big deal but can be really hurtful. As a non-binary person who uses the they/ them pronouns, I get misgendered A LOT and it can be really hurtful even when it’s an accident. Another example could be seeing a woman, or a person with female gender expression, and assuming that they can’t carry something heavy, or aren’t as strong as a man, or a person who was assigned male at birth. These things may not seem like a big deal to the person who is committing them, or they may be totally unaware that they are doing it, but things like that can really build up, especially for people in minority communities who face things like that multiple times a day, every day. It can be hard to break a habit we are unaware of, and researching offensive terms, or learning more about marginalized communities can help with that. If we know more about the groups of people that micro-aggressions are often directed towards, we will be so much more likely to catch ourselves if we say something offensive. Or if someone tells you that something you are saying is hurtful, thank them and do some more research on the subject to be more prepared next time!

I saw an example online about the stereotype of the Angry Black Woman. In the media, Black women are often portrayed as angry, or more violent than other women, which can lead to even more distrust and fear of Black people. In this example it compared microaggressions to mosquito bites. People in minority communities, especially visible minorities, receive multiple mosquito bites every day, but people who are more privileged, only receive one a week, then it will build up a lot more for people from marginalized communities. Imagine you were so much itchier than everyone else, you had way more mosquito bites, then the more you had, the bigger each one would feel. You would have so many more reasons to be angry. I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve cried, or had to clench my fists behind my back when someone has mis-gendered me for the fifth time that day, because the more it happens, the worse and worse it feels.

Now imagine having to deal with that from a really young age, especially when you’re a kid and you don’t really understand why people are making fun of you for your ethnicity, or religion. Ways you can can help are by being more aware, asking what people’s pronouns are when you first meet them and sharing your own, not assuming that a person of colour is on drugs, not assuming that a woman can’t change her own tires, not assuming that just because someone is LGBTQ2SIA+ that they are a pedophile, etc. These are just small things that you can do in order to help people feel more accepted and welcomed.

Zara Zrudlo is a homeschooled, fourteen year old resident of Kemtpville. They love writing, art, acting, reading and anything to do with music. Ever since they were little they’ve cared a lot about activism and social justice, and hoped to make a difference in the world. Zara has written two and a half novels, and ran a newspaper for their friends and family for three years. They love hanging out with their dogs and chickens and spending time imagining having dinner with various book characters.

Lenten Lunch Dates

Enjoy a lunch, dessert and Lenten message at the following Churches for the month of March.

Time: 12pm

Cost: Free will offering

March 15 - St. Clare's Anglican (2530 Falcone Ln, Winchester)

March 22 - Christ United Chesterville (5 Casselman St, Chesterville)

March 29 - Winchester United Church (519 St. Lawrence, Winchester)