Breakfast4Success: 3 Leaders, 30 Thoughts

How does self-awareness make you a better leader? Three local business leaders shared their thoughts on how to know your emotions, passions and strengths, and why that makes you more confident and creative.

Brianna Campbell, Gallup Certified Strengths Coach

1. Use your compass.

Self-awareness points you in the direction you want to go. It’s the baseline of navigating through life well. Without it, you may have a destination in mind, but you won’t have the slightest clue on how to get there.

2. Better yet… use Google Maps.

Emotional Intelligence is like the Google Maps of navigation. It’s the voice that tells you there’s a major slowdown ahead and an alternate route is available. Honing your emotional intelligence will save you from a ton of frustration and lost time.

3. Achieve your goals and get people to like you along the way.

Increased self-awareness leads to higher goal achievement rates and healthier relationships. Why? Because when you are self-aware, you become less reactionary and can participate in more intentional decision-making.

4. Hate to tell you … but sometimes you’re the problem.

Studies show that people like to credit themselves when something positive happens but give external credit when something negative occurs (no surprise there). That inclination hinders our ability to replace poor habits with good ones. Increased self-awareness allows us to more accurately attribute credit and therefore more efficiently form and adjust habits for better outcomes.

5. Successful leaders know their “why.”

Knowing what motivates you will get you through the crap-just-hitthe-fan days, months, or even years. What you do changes all the time. Your why doesn’t. It may expand, but its core usually stays the same. You can’t lead effectively without knowing your why.

6. Emotions are a big deal in business.

Research shows that 70% of decision-making is driven by emotion, not rational thought (yikes!!!). The good news is that while emotions can be unpredictable, they are still understandable. Successful leaders make it their business to understand the emotions of their team and customers.

7. Practice makes better.

Skilled leaders practice recognizing and naming emotions. Most adults can’t correctly name an emotion while they are experiencing it. When we neglect to understand emotion, we pay the consequences… and unfortunately so will the people around us. A great way to practice is to simply be as specific as possible when describing a feeling.

8. Curiosity is a great friend.

People rarely consider their behavior or thoughts in the moment. Deepening our self-awareness often stems from simple curiosity. One of my favorite questions is “why?” Why did I respond that way? Why is this so hard or easy for me to accomplish? Why am I feeling this way? Why did I think that?

9.

Creativity is a product of deep reflection.

Your ability to be creative increases when your self-awareness does. When you take time to deeply reflect, whether it’s about yourself or not, creativity becomes a natural biproduct.

10. The best kind of leadership style you can

have is your own.

I’ve watched individuals struggle in their careers because instead of discovering their own leadership style, they unsuccessfully (and often painfully) try to make themselves into a carbon copy of another leader. You can’t lead exactly like someone else. You’re you. Not them. So, what makes your leadership unique? You are your secret sauce. Take time to discover you.

Santo D. Marabella, The Practical Prof ®

1. Where there are people, there are emotions.

So, while we can avoid dealing with emotions at work, we can’t avoid having emotions at work. As a leader, manager, co-worker or intern, the sooner we accept this reality, the sooner we can “get good” at being aware of and managing workplace emos (emotions).

2. A workplace oblivious to emotions and the need to manage them is dysfunctional.

Hurt feelings, miscommunications, defensiveness, holding grudges, disconnection, isolation and fear — these characteristics define this type of workplace and they will thwart, prevent and downright stop your business from taking care of its business.

3. Self-awareness is not self-absorption.

Self-awareness is an important first step to achieving high emotional intelligence. However, being in touch with our own emotions is more about stepping outside ourselves to see what others see us doing than it is about delving inside in a narcissistic pursuit where only I matter.

4. Our emotional hot buttons can trigger temporary

insanity… for a whole 6 seconds!

Known as the amygdala hijack, when people push our “buttons” — lie to us or intentionally embarrass us, for example, but they’re different for each of us — that can lead to a period where we cannot be held responsible for our actions or words. During this time we should say, do or think NOTHING! I call this taking the Prof Pause.

5. We don’t know what they are going through.

The best memes have an uncanny ability to cut through the crap and capture the essence of what can be the excellence of the human spirit. One such meme in various versions talks about being kind to everyone, all the time, because we don’t know the battles they are fighting or the suffering they are experiencing. We need to pay attention to what people share, especially when they do it without words.

6. Empathy is required.

Being aware of other’s emotions is a critical component to having a high emotional intelligence. Empathy is “feeling with” another person. It means we look at what they are going through from their lens not our own. That means imagining how this is for them.

7. You’re not stuck with a static EI.

You can grow your EI. There is no excuse to not focus on your own emotional intelligence. Assessments, training, practice and commitment are all very effective ways to develop a stronger, healthier emotional intelligence.

8. EI outflanks IQ every time.

As a person who built a career in education from a foundation of credentials, if you force me to choose between brains and EI, I will choose EI every time. And so do corporate research studies which found that EI is a better predictor of success than IQ.

9. EI is the single most important determinant of a leader’s effectiveness.

Effective leaders that Jim Collins described in his seminal work, Good to Great, who embody a “powerful mix of personal humility and indomitable will,” and put people before strategy, know that regardless of their style of leadership, EI is the foundational ingredient.

10. When managed effectively, emotions and the workplace are a perfect match!

A workplace culture that nurtures EI is able to filter out and minimize the distractions that emotional chaos can bring and get in the way of our business. An emotionally intelligent workplace has more energy, time and attention to direct toward achieving goals.

Adrean Turner, Entrepreneur and Alvernia University Professor

1. Make impactful decisions.

Everything that involves you doesn’t evolve you. Self-awareness gives you clarity and confidence to say no to situations and assignments that don’t align with your values and goals.

2. Inspire a growth mindset culture.

Emotionally intelligent people are generally optimistic and are driven by inner motivation, rather than a desire for money, titles or social acceptance. Failure is not a big deal to them. They have an inner resilience that makes it hard to shake their confidence. Leaders who demonstrate these behaviors are seen as passionate and positive.

3. Be present.

Company culture is a company’s “secret” sauce. Studies show that more than 50% of an employee’s perception of their workplace has to do with the influence of their manager. Leaders with executive presence inspire confidence and independence in their employees. When people trust and admire their manager, they tend to feel more engaged at work and intrinsically motivated to do a great job. This creates a positive workplace culture of teamwork and productivity.

4. Empower your team.

Knowing how to use your emotions helps you to see the potential in people and energize them. Emotionally intelligent leaders are able to quickly build rapport with trust with others. They do this by letting others shine, mentoring team members, delegating and remaining calm under pressure in challenging situations. Great leaders create more leaders, not followers.

5. Push forward.

Resiliency is possible if you are emotionally intelligent. The more you believe in your efforts, you will expend the energy necessary to get the results you desire. Leaders understand that failure is part of success.

6. Choose wisely.

We make 122 emotional decisions daily, impacting our outcomes to reach goals. High EI leaders take action based on the message, not the delivery. The ability to respond versus reacting is key for effective communication. Self-regulating is important to make the right choices at the right time.

7. Resolve conflict effectively.

Conflict is natural but it should not be combustive. The instant you take emotion out of the equation you make better decisions. High EI leaders view situations through an empathetic lens and coach teams to employ judgment and control when expressing their emotions.

8. Activate your superpowers.

Gallup scientists found that people have several times more potential for growth when they invest energy in developing their strengths instead of correcting their deficiencies. Your strengths give you the power to lead with confidence and exceed your goals.

9. Get faster results.

Those who excel at regulating their emotions better manage their time and talents. They understand what motivates them. Yet, importantly they schedule tasks according to their productivity zone to maximize results.

10. Be Unstoppable.

When you understand why you do the things you do; what you care about; why you care about those things, and what you want to be known for, you become more confident to take action. That lack of fear drives creativity and performance. CQ