The Unspoken Pain

FEATURE The Unspoken Pain

By Yvonne Stroman, MA, CRS

“Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.” —Buddhist proverb

Everyone would agree, pain is part of life. As people we experience it on multiple levels – physically, emotional, and spiritually. We lose jobs, homes, and loved ones. We get sick. We break bones. This is life and it hurts. But it does not have to rule our lives. Suffering is not part of life. We do it to ourselves. Unfortunately, our attempts to manage pain often turn it into suffering instead of relief.

We are not necessarily given tools to manage pain. If you have physical pain, the remedy is to take medication – a substance that is taken into or placed on the body to cure a disease or condition. For example, antibiotics are given to cure an infection. Others view medication as a substance used for medical treatment. Whether prescribed by a doctor or purchased over the counter, medications can be used as a single dose or used for a period of time. In many instances, when used as prescribed, the medication works; pain is relieved, and suffering is no more. Published in 2018, Dopesick is a definitive account of the opioid epidemic that charts this devastating crisis in America. Last year, HULU released an eight episode series based on this nonfiction book Dopesick: Dealers, Doctors and the Drug Company that Addicted America by Beth Macy. The series focuses on America’s struggle with the opioid addiction and its impact on individuals, families, and communities. And while the series focuses on a small town in the State of Virginia, it is a small representation of what has happened and continues to happen in every corner of America.

Physical pain as a motivator for use of prescriptions, which when taken properly can resolve ailments. But beyond its “use as directed,” pain medications can be mis-used, leading to abuse, addiction, and in some instances death. The stories depicted on the miniseries

included: a worker in the coal mines who injured her back; the family physician who was involved in a car accident; the high school student who enjoyed being the life of the party; and the secretary who was faced with exposing her boss for lying to the public about the potential abuse for oxycontin when she was involved in a car accident and used Oxycontin for pain relief. The narratives depicted in the mini-series are similar to countless of thousands of individuals in real life who seek to be free of physical pain. What’s more, innocently, the enablers who supplied and/or endorsed the cure for physical pain were front and center.

The leaders of Purdue Pharma had a desire to help individuals reduce or eradicate their pain. The research teams, physicians and sale people were delivered a strong message, “Oxycontin will take the pain away.” Backed by a stamp of approval from the Federal Drug Administration (FDA), Oxycontin quickly became available in milligrams of 10, 20, 40 and up. The number of milligrams was directly proportioned to the pain scale – the greater the pain, a greater the number of milligrams of the drug would be prescribed. Little is mentioned in the mini-series about the warning label. You know, like the warning label on a cigarette pack that says, “may be dangerous to your health”? Where appropriate prescription labels may warn, “not to be taken with alcohol,” but no mention that the product can become habit forming and lead to addiction.

For the first time, last year, the Center for Disease Control stated there were over 100,000 overdose deaths due to opioids!! When you put that into perspective, 100,000 people would equal everyone who lives in the City of Reading! Everyone!! Somehow, we have got to do better.

In 1988, when I entered addiction treatment for the first time, I remember my counselor saying to me, “what hurts you?” Very puzzled by the question, I looked at my hands and feel; rubbed my legs and replied, “Nothing.” My counselor looked at me and simply said, “Talk about what hurts you.” He planted a question in my mind that would take me some time to figure out. I was too scared to ask what he meant for fear of looking and sounding naïve, but today, I understand.

The fact is, there are two levels of pain – physical and emotional. Physical pain we are oftentimes willing to confront. We want to feel better. So much so that the medication we take is charged with ensuring we feel better. And if one pill will make us feel good, three or four will makes us feel great! Emotional pain can be a little bit more difficult. The acknowledgment of emotional pain takes a little longer; if at all. But our emotional pain can be at the base of our physical pain. The desire to be heard, to be seen, to be supported, to belong, to be affirmed, to be celebrated, to be loved, and to be appreciated. At the core of who we are is emotions and feelings. When our emotional selves are not validated, there is the tendency to turn to something that will. It is the unspoken pain that gets a false nourishment, through use of substances, like Oxycontin or other behaviors, so that we can feel better. The switch in our brain says. “Yes, this is the cure for your pain and do more of the drugs.” The more we push down the emotional pain, the greater the activity of using. Ultimately, we use to live and live to use.

According to George F. Koob, Director of the National institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, emotions are “feeling” states and classic physiological emotive responses that are interpreted based on the history of the organism and the context. How we feel about ourselves dictates our attitudes and perceptions of how we feel others see us. In many cases our emotional pain affects our mental stability and can lead to physical ailments. As a result, the physical pain is acknowledged and treated while the emotional pain is left untreated.

Holding onto and facing emotional pain can be challenging for anyone. Without the support and tools to learn how to process emotional pain, feelings and perceptions can become difficult to acknowledge and/or manage.

Spiritual well-being is the opposite of emotional pain and practicing it can address emotional blockages. Negative emotional states drive negative reinforcement. Positive emotional states drive positive reinforcement. “Act better than you feel” can be a good example of emotional wellness and what may be needed to begin healing emotional pain.

Emotional pain and spiritual well-being influence one another and can overlap which makes having a connection to something greater than yourself the best way to begin the emotional healing process. We owe it to ourselves to give our emotional pain the attention it deserves. Dopesick portrays the dangerous journey we can face if pain is not resolved in a safe and medically sound manner.