SCORCH ISSUE 32 by bermudacarnival

Photography and Editing: Pedro Virgil, Makeup: Jaumark Pierre, Additional Editing: Damian Evans, Swimsuit: Mood Swings

Gomez Burke

Adonia

//MOOD

VIVACIOUS

SCORCH Magazine 3

MOODSWING ISSUE 32 Editor Solange des Vignes Sub Editor Lisa Williams Art Director Damian Evans Lead Photographer Pedro Virgil

t yeste ristmas issue bure It feels like jusne he wbie for the Ch board as the rks 6 months since I’ve been oiled, this issue ma n I say, SCORCH is a wellmy d an and what camping megatron machine, tight knit, pu . second home ’re is over and we ar by rnival season The hectic Cau to Mood Swings swimwe tch ba introducing yott and preparing you for aver was Sandra Hordat none can contest. This coto work of events tha to shoot because we gotdro Virgil especially fun owned photographer Pe ducing t goes into pro with world ren the hard work tha ers and friends mb me e itte our comm ;) and share with rtion of an issue just one tiny po

9 IN THE KNOW 10-11 CARNIVAL EYE CATCHERS 12 HOW TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT GARAGE 15-17 BEST OF THE ROAD 23 WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE GIVEN UP FOR LENT 28-29 COST OF OWNING A VAGINA 33 SWEAT - KNEE EXERCISES, KES STYLE 36 GAS BRAIN - HYUNDAI VELOSTAR 38 EAR CANDY - CHROMATICS 40-41 WORST CARNIVAL VIDEOS 2012 44 WHY DID HE LEAVE ME?

Crew HNIC Kwesi Hopkinson

Editor’s Note rday that I was jumping ont

Contents

Production Crystal Marcus Kimoy Attong

PEDRO VIRGIL, WHO IS HE?

For issue No. 32, SCORCH had the privilege of working with photographer Pedro Virgil…and…well the results are here for you to see. Pedro is a world-renowned photographer who has worked with some of the biggest publications in the world. VOGUE, Inside Sport, Men’s Health, Men’s Exercise, GQ Magazine, Sports Illustrated, DNA magazine and FHM Magazine just to name a few. So you know Pedro had to work with SCORCH so he could add our name to the list. The management and staff would like to officially welcome Pedro to the SCORCH family and tell him thanks for all the great work.

Writers Damian Evans Russell Wilkinson Khelice Rennie Sarika Redoy

Event Photography Niall Royal RIcardo Delorme Che Geoffroy Allan Lim Choy

h t t p : // w w w . p e d r o v i r g i l . n e t

Accessories The Style Files

Advertising & Sales Executive Russell Wilkinson Administration Lee-Ann Harper

! Hope you enjoy -Soly!

SCORCH+ MOOD SWINGS

Make Up Jau Mark Pierre Hair Roberto, Nu-Look Salon

ISSUE 32 WHY? Scorch is all about who, where and what’s hott and the hottest

thing this summer is without a doubt Mood Swings Swimwear by Sandra Hordatt. As a well known Carnival designer, swimwear is a natural extension of her passion, so although the line was launched 2 years ago she persisted until she achieved distribution in stores nationwide. Mood Swings offers swimsuits and beachwear to express the varying moods of women so we grabbed four sexy ladies to showcase Mood Swings like only Scorch can!

C a m p a i g n S p a c e C o m m u n i c t i o n F a s h i o n F a s h i o n

D e s D e s D e s D e s S t y l B e a

i g i g i g i g i n u t

n n n n g y

3 P A R K A V E . Q U E E N S 8 6 8 . 6 8 2 . J A U P  5 2 8 7  J A U P I E R R E  G M A I L . C O M

P A R K

E A S T

P O S

h is Who, Where, What is HOTT.

Scorc

PROMOTION

Genelle

Locario

//MOOD

Photography and Editing: Pedro Virgil, Makeup: Jaumark Pierre, Additional Editing: Damian Evans, Swimsuit: Mood Swings

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INTERACT WITH SCORCH ONLINE. TABLET. PRINT. MOBILE. SOCIAL NETWORKING.

WWW.THESCORCH.COM 6

www.thescorch.com

“

IN THE

KIT

“KNOW

FASHION F••K-UPS

e know gs you in th orld. Scorch brin w , e gs th in er th lines all ov ain’t up on aking head m Well if you es su is t curren with all the

KONY 2012

1. Baby girl in red, that

wig is horrible but your companion is clearly outshining you. An imitation True Religion swimsuit (or panty set). the earrings and the fence wire around your hand...we wanna shake you like Etch a Sketch and start over.

2. We know money is

always tight for Carnival but recycling your Christmas table runners as a top is never advisable.

3. We’re positive you woke up the next morning and realised it wasn’t a bad dream...you DID go to the party with no top on.

Kony 2012 took us by storm and unfortunately the main thing that kept the awareness momentum going is the controversy surrounding the organisation’s finances and the masturbation incident by the films producer. Kony 2012 is a film created by Invisible Children to promote the ‘Stop Kony’ movement to have Joseph Kony arrested and internationally known. Invisible Children is an organisation that’s based in America and strives for awareness. The film shows the journey of Invisible Children to get the American military involved which leads people to believe they are still trying when in actuality the American military already has a large presence in Uganda. A large factor in the criticism has been the finances related to the not-for-profit foundation because they use 43% for the North American awareness programs, 37% for the Central African programmes and 20% for salaries. Most recently Jason Russell has been diagnosed with reactive psychosis brought on by extreme exhaustion, stress and dehydration. He was found running naked in the streets yelling, pounding his fists on the sidewalk and possibly masturbating.

HOODIE OR DIE

4. You clearly borrowed

that wig from Raggedy Ann and we give you a gold star for matching your red wig to your red booty shorts and well we suppose this was a successful night cuz you got to wine on Kees?

www.thescorch.com

Trayvon Martin, 17, was killed on February 26th 2012 wearing a hoodie and carrying a pack of Skittles and a bottle of iced tea in his hand. He was killed by George Zimmerman, 28, a volunteer neighbourhood watchman who claimed self-defence. He was never arrested or questioned. The 911 tapes were released and Zimmerman told police Martin was displaying suspicious behaviour, looks like he’s up to no good and on drugs or something. He then says, “These assholes always get away.” and followed Martin despite the dispatcher telling him not to. Zimmerman is known as someone who utilised extreme aggression tactics and has called 911 forty six times in the past two years. Witnesses confirm that they heard Martin’s cry before he was shot and Martin’s female friend even said that she told him to run when he told her on the phone that a man was following him. Activists and supporters of the Trayvon Martin case have been engaging in hoodie marches with bags of skittles in their hands. This was sparked by Fox News contributor Geraldo Rivera’s statement that he was shot because he was wearing a hoodie.

6 5

CARNIVAL E Y E

www.thescorch.com

C A T C H E R S

Scorch Paparazzi was everywhere this Carnival all the hott fetes snapping all the hott people. We couldn’t put everybody in, so we sifted through and picked out the hottest peeps from Carnival 2012.

1. Sampling the 3Zero Rum at the launch. 2. It’s not easy being beautiful. 3. SCORCH Saturday Stunna. 4. The beautiful Jade at YUMA Neon. 5. Of course we want a Carib. 6. Where do these girls go after Carnival?

7. Rachael “THE BODY” and her buddy. 8. PUR E FIRE at SCORCH+STEEL. 9. BEACH HOUSE Bunnies. 10. C’est La Vie. 11. Vale Breakfast Hotness. 12. This is why she is a 7+. 13. Our facourite couple.

RIGHT GARAGE CERTIFICATION: Back in the day when you thought about tyres and car repair images of massive amounts of grease, dirt and dutty jim looking car repair men come to mind. However, we’re not talking ‘bout the ole, run-down tyre shop down the road splattered in grime and grease. In modern times we’ve moved up a notch. When looking for a good car repair shop, proper certification is a telltale sign that the shop is trustworthy. Not to mention certified mechanics are required to be knowledgeable about the software that comes with contemporary vehicles. Certification indicates that the technicians took the

time to take the course and show their skills are worthy of certification. I mean, really, would you go to a doctor who has no certificates on their walls?

office ready to do a root canal and see a man in a MTS jumper with a doctor’s mask, surgical knife and a lab coat? (Insert Psycho theme song)

PROPER DIAGNOSTIC EQUIPMENT: See that a car repair shop has all the right equipment in place (like a proper tyre mounting machine with rubber mounts that don’t scratch your wheels). Make sure they have the proper diagnostic equipment. A shop that has invested in the proper equipment to service today’s automobiles is usually a shop that you can trust, because they’re not going to buy expensive equipment and then have unqualified people using it. Once again, what will you do if you reach the dentist

TIDY: A good car repair shop should also be somewhat tidy. You don’t want to see Jake the Junkyard Dog chained in the office. It shouldn’t look like it’s going to be condemned by the health department. After all, image is everything right? Yes it’s a garage but think about it, nobody would want to walk into a bess restaurant to find leftover food and garbage scattered all over the place just because they’re selling food.

+ 7 Adonia Gomez Burke

Photography and Editing: Pedro Virgil, Makeup: Jaumark Pierre, Additional Editing: Damian Evans, Swimsuit: Mood Swings

How to ChooseTHE

P.S. Yes!! This does mean yuh hadda jump out the paper. The choice is yours. You have to decide if you want a car that you have to service every year or every three months.

BIG C.R.E.A.M A registered owner of a private motor vehicle or motorcycle, public service motor vehicle, rental car, goods vehicle, omnibus or trailer who fails to produce the vehicle for inspection or drives the vehicle without obtaining an inspection sticker and certificate in accordance with these Regulations commits an offense and is liable, on summary conviction, to a fine of 12

www.thescorch.com

$5000.

//MOOD

MISCHIEVOUS

SCORCH Magazine 13

REEL Time oming Upcov M ies Avengers A collaboration between Marvel Super Heroes: Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Captain America, Hawkeye and Black Widow. The come to gether to save the world from impending doom. Yep, it does sound like you’ve seen this before.

Sadly, since seeing this, we at Scorch jusde every party we attend by this movie.

One can only hope it doesn’t completely suck like past Super Hero movie i.e Fantastic 4, Green Lantern and Captain America. Release Date - May 4, 2012

Da 2012 ROUND UP Carnival showcases the world’s sweetest women in the sexiest costumes on the streets of Port of Spain. Our SCORCH Paparazzi captured the best of the best on the road and packed the 2012 edition of Carnival Scorched full of lovely ladies. Tribe, Bliss, Fantasy, Harts, YUMA, Spice and Island People represented so well on the road that there were some stunners that couldn’t fit.

MARLEY The Legend Bob Marley was only thirty-six at the time of his death from cancer, and many of the readers of SCORCH and current fans of his music weren’t even born when he went to Zion. But that hasn’t stopped a generation from connecting to his message and until now, there has not been a definitive Bob Marley documentary.

HARD LOCAL

That is all about to change. The Marley family has given the makers of this film exclusive access to their archives. The result is a powerful documentary that sheds a new light on the artist. Release Date - April 20, 2012

WHEN THE SUN SETS We at Scorch support any and all things local. Check out the trailer at: http://vimeo.com/37051051 A 30-minute short film shot right here in Trinidad and written and directed by our own Ryan Latchmansingh. It’s a tragedy, and story of violence endured by young Luke Singh who struggles to make ends meet while working as a fisherman. Unable to take care of himself and his sick grandmother, Luke is presented with an opportunity to make a lot of money, but the decision comes at a much greater cost.

SCORCH Magazine 15

Carnival 2012 Fantasy Harts BLISS SPICE

www.thescorch.com

Island People YUMA TRIBE

STUFFED

The Scorching

SexCipee

You know Trinidadians is something else yes! We have to be ah tabanca nation for sure. Imagine, it still have Trinis who have Christmas tree up in their living room and lighting it quietly in the night. I think it’s safe to say we have to be diagnosed with some sort of fete-sentimentality-mentality syndrome. We just love to have ah time, to party, get on bad, storm fete, drink, eat, wine up, vomit, drink some more, vomit more and fall asleep. Ah wrong? Personally I think the year now start, people still trying to get their head straight and away from distractions so they could get on with life. So with that in mind I decided to turn a quintessential Tobagonian classic of Crab and Dumplings into more of a “scorchified” presentation and method. So whether or not you decide to take the ferry across to the lovely sister isle or borrow Machel’s jet pack, and fly across, this summer you can also try to make these simple yet elegant Crab Stuffed Raviolis with a light coconut curry sauce for yourself or even your girl or guy. That’s unless you plan to be single forever - Oh Oh Oh... Eat Dumpling KI!

/ ! / Seductive / Salacious / Satiate / Sexy / Scorch /!/ Chef Jason Chef & Executive Lecturer @ TTHTI

Crispy Parmesan Chicken Tenders. For Raviolis 2 Cups of Cooked Curried Crab Meat ( Chopped Finely After Cooking ) 1 Pk. of Wonton Skins. For Coconut Curry Sauce 5 Tbsp. Vegetable Oil 1 Tsp. Red pepper flakes Zest of 1 lemon 3 Tbsp. Minced Garlic 3 Tbsp. Minced Onions. 3 Tbsp. Curry Powder 2.5 Cups Coconut milk Half Cup Chopped Fresh Celery. 1 Tbsp. Brown Sugar to taste. Salt and Pepper to taste.

MIXXX MIXES Easter come and gone so that means it’s time for brunch parties and plenty day events. After the hectic carnival season, this sort of pump is where we take it easy, relax on a light cool refreshing cocktail while we sip and chat. Here are two cocktails that are easy to try and easy on the pocket.

Bubbly Punch 1 bottle of Champagne or Sparkling Wine 2/3 cups of Strawberry mix 1 cup of Orange Juice ½ cup Pineapple Juice 2 tablespoons of lemon juice 10 frozen strawberries 4 dashes of Grenadine syrup

Method Place a few wonton wrappers on a work surface. Put a small dollop of the crab filling in the center of each one, and moisten the edges of the skins with water and fold over to form a triangle and press to seal. Repeat with remaining skins and filling. Bring a medium pot of salted water to a boil. Add the ravioli in batches and cook for about 3 minutes, or until the raviolis are tender and the filling has become opaque and somewhat firm. Using a wide slotted spoon, transfer the ravioli to a plate.Set Aside. In a small bowl, combine the coconut milk and sugar. Place a wok or pot over medium-high heat. Add vegetable oil and heat for one minute. Add red pepper flakes, zest, garlic, onions and curry powder and stir-fry until fragrant, about 1 ½ minute or until the curry in cooked properly. ( little water can be added to it ) vAdd the coconut-milk mixture and bring to a boil. Cook until the sauce thickens slightly, about 2 - 3 minutes. Add your chopped celery and season with salt and pepper. Spoon the sauce over the cooked ravioli.

In a punch bowl pour orange juice, pineapple juice, lemon juice and strawberry mix, stir well and taste. Make sure the punch is to your liking. Add the frozen strawberries and bottle of champagne or sparkling wine. When it settles dash your grenadine in. Refrigerate for at least 20 minutes. Serve in wine or champagne glass. Garnish with cherry and lime. Cheers!

Savannah Punch 1¼ oz Malibu Rum Pineapple juice Dash of Grenadine Syrup 1 oz 7 up soft drink Pour Malibu rum into an ice-filled Collins glass and fill with pineapple juice. Add grenadine and a splash of 7-up. Garnish with a fresh slice of pineapple. Cheers! For more recipes and tips on what to serve at any event like us on Facebook. http://www.facebook.com/Mix.Cocktails. SCORCH Magazine 19

Photography and Editing: Pedro Virgil, Makeup: Jaumark Pierre, Additional Editing: Damian Evans, Swimsuit: Mood Swings

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your

Mood?

20 www.thescorch.com

7+ Kyrelle Lee Foon

PlayStation

Vita

The Vita is easily the most technologically advanced handheld to date. A true successor to the PlayStation Portable (PSP). It comes with dual quad-core processors, an OLED touchscreen display, front and rear facing cameras, optional 3G connectivity, a rear touch panel, a built-in accelerometer, a gyroscope, and a digital compass. As for its touch-enabled features, the Vita’s front and rear touch panels are surprisingly responsive, tracking a variety of motions and gestures with pinpoint accuracy. Dual thumbsticks have been a long awaited and aggressively requested feature, and the Vita’s sticks capture the feeling and performance of a full-sized DualShock controller

Unchartered: Golden Abyss This game sees Nathan Drake swaggering through firefights and lurching over ledges. And the style of the game is largely intact, a steady third-person shooter.

$1,000,000,000

The Vita’s Touchscreen controls everything smoothly from gunswitching to grenade-throwing, while the gyroscopic aiming tilts the handheld to target enemies – accurately enough to bag regular headshots.

INSTAGRAM Facebook has announced that it has acquired Instagram for $1 billion USD. An immensely popular photo-sharing service and social network for mobile phones, Instagram has been one of Silicon Valley’s biggest success stories of the past two years. Instagram for Android has now been downloaded over five million times, just six days after its release.

For its part, Facebook now owns what most had considered one of its biggest, if not the biggest, threats. Photos are key to the Facebook experience, and Instagram encroached on that territory with a service that was fun, addictive and 100 percent about great pictures. At two years old, the company has over 30 million users and is growing rapidly.

Top

You should’ve given up

for Lent

Carnival is over, and the period of fasting and repenting began on Ash Wednesday. In years gone by, bars would be empty, no parties would be thrown and on Friday nights the streets would be clear. Judging by the behaviour we observed since Ash Wednesday some of ya’ll just don’t know how to act during Lent. So here’s a guide to get you through future lenten seasons.

10 9

Wining behind large vehicles. Anything leafy or green. With the amount of rain we’ve been having lately you’ll be contributing to the alleviation of the stress the farmers experienced during Carnival with the spike in demand for vegetables.

Running around the Savannah. The Savannah junkies deserve their beloved 3.3km track back to exercise without having to weave in and out of allyuh talking on your cell phone.

Standing in the sun. No need to build up your body’s tolerance for extreme heat anymore.

Drinking in a party. What you think rum shops there for?

Shopping. Yuh don’t need new outfits to go to work, church or the rum shop (well unless you going Micles to get a Mood Swings swimsuit ;)

The outside man/girlfriend. Yuh cah give the main squeeze 40 days of exclusive attention?

3 2

Watching girls lustfully in thongs. Begging committee members for free tickets.

1 Bubbling on ah Dj.

SCORCH Magazine 23

SCENE OUT

E TRIMB ITTEE COM

www.thescorch.com

M IN GL ER

Anya Ayoun g-Chee and Tribe Bandlea der Dean A ckin

SCORCH Magazine 25

Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your

OODSWING

Photography and Editing: Pedro Virgil, Makeup: Jaumark Pierre, Additional Editing: Damian Evans, Swimsuit: Mood Swings

26 www.thescorch.com

7+ Mood?

Cost of Owning a

VAGINA

Okay so you think owning a vagina gets you free drinks, comps to parties and fancy dinners but how much of us really know how much it costs to own a vagina? We decided to do a quick tally of how much a hoo-ha costs for an over 20-something female a year. Ain’t ready for a kid pill

We’re hoping that this is part of the expense budget for almost all of you sexually active females. In general, birth control can run you anywhere from $80-$200 per month so we’re gonna average birth control at $100 per month so per year: $1,200.00

ITCHY AND SCRATCHY Yes it’s gross and sorry to break it to you fellas but more times than not, us females get them from YOU! If after a bess beach lime you decide to pull aside and take a quickie and you complains of a yeast infection, one tube of Vagisil will run you about $40.00 and we’re hoping you learn your lesson in hygiene so you’ll only need one per year: $40.00

Really really really feel to…but can’t

Oh UTIs. Every woman remembers the first time she got one and the intense pain that accompanied it. You see someone urgently buying cranberry juice and you automatically know what it’s gonna be for. For good measure and prevention, one bottle of cranberry juice a month of $20.00 and if not, $200.00 for UTI medicine so per year: $440.00

KEEP IT DISEASE FREE

We know Trinidad’s national pastime is horning so we really doh need to expand on why a woman should always have a pack of condoms in her purse/car for those emergency situations. Fellas, if you looking to tote home a ting after 51 and you not prepared… shame on you!

V, Landing Strip or Bare You gotta keep that vag looking fresh and clean. The natural look is not a flick when you living in the tropics so 1 bikini wax a month at $250.00 so per year: $3,000.00

1 pack of 3 condoms: $15.00 so let’s say you’re 2 notches away from being a bad ting and you’re using 2 packs a month at $30.00 so per year: $360.00

KEEP THINGS CLEAN

Red light, Ms.P, Lady Red. Whatever you wanna call it…you gotta deal with it every month for the greater part of your adult life. 1 box of 18 tampons = $40.00/month 1 pack of 18 pads = $40.00/month To suffer for 1 week per month will run you approx. $80/month so per year: $960.00

Womb falling out kinda pain

Cramps is one of the best excuses to get out of anything that involves reporting to a man. (Try the ‘I have cramps’ excuse with a female boss and she’ll open a pharmacy of every pain reliever right in her handbag). $50 for 10 capsules so per month you’ll need about 2 bottles at $100 a month so per year: $1,200.00 28 www.thescorch.com

Front to back or back to front

Toilet paper is an obvious necessity…we hope, so per month a single female will run through about 4 rolls a month so 48 rolls per year: $300.00

Vagy care Every woman, sexually active or not should have at least 2 pap smears a year. For a straightforward exam that’ll cost you an easy $500 an appointment so per year: $1,000.00

ve your lady lo On average st you: co ill w

0 $8,500r!.0 ! a Yea

ladies e you think So next tim ng easy…think hi yt get ever again!

The new

iPad

In Scorch’s office, new Apple products are a must have, and if we could, we would’ve been in line to get The New iPad…no it’s not the iPad 3.

Genelle

Apple’s latest reveal has been a trending topic on twitter for months, and Apple’s stock price even hit a staggering $600USD the week it launched.

Locario

The new 9.7-inch iPad boasts a 2048 x 1536-pixel retina display that makes “people, places, things and games look real enough to touch.” The sleek new device has not changed much in shape, size or color but it’s what is on the inside that counts. The device has a 5-megapixel camera and 1080p video recording capabilities. It is powered by the A5X chip (with quad-core graphics) and supports 4G LTE networks, and as before, is available in black and white. Photographers will also be happy to know that iPhoto is available for $4.99USD for the iPad, which should allow for quick editing and sharing on the go.

//MOOD

GLAMOROUS The All Access Event Manager Mobile App

Soon to be released to Blackberry App World

Angry Birds Space Ultimate Time Waster

10 million downloads in 3 days Fans of the Angry Birds franchise, take note: the disgruntled feathery creatures have conquered space, and they’re out to show those dastardly pigs a lesson. Angry Birds Space, is now available for iPhone, iPad, iPod touch and Android devices, as well as the Mac and PC. 30 www.thescorch.com

This app will truly enhance your liming experience so you could find the best places to be and share it with all of your friends. Once the app is installed you can register with Facebook or e-mail. After you log in, you have 1 of 6 options to choose from. Events (see what’s going on, where and who’s going), Friends (see whats your friends up to) , Alerts (event information, details, checking in etc.), Messages (Suggest an event), Profile and Settings. Check it out in App World, www. facebook.com/allaccesstnt or allaccesstnt.com.

Photography and Editing: Pedro Virgil, Makeup: Jaumark Pierre, Additional Editing: Damian Evans, Swimsuit: Mood Swings

SCORCH Magazine 31

SWEAT

KNEE EXERCISES Soooo…Kees and his Comedy Fest Performance at Best Buy Theatre in New York. If you haven’t seen this fabulous piece of footage, stop reading right now and go watch it. We promise you, it’s unforgettably classic! To give you’ll a ‘lil run down, Kees pulls up a big ting on stage during “Ah ting”...as usual. They bubble and hype up the crowd then he attempts to lift her up. Attempt #1 is just painful to watch. Poor girl gets dropped like a hot bake and is now sprawled out on the floor. We wish he accepted defeat then and there (and we’re sure he’s thinking the same thing now). He tries again…and attempt #2 is what had us here in Scorch in tears. Kess tries to pick her up leg by leg, then both legs, then on his knees until eventually, he fails and big ting falls on top of him/his face. Boy, we thank you for entertaining the sh!t out of us and these workout tips are just for you!

Top 5 ways to strengthen your knees: 1. Ball squeeze squat: Place a ball between your thighs and squeeze. Slowly squat down until your knees are bent 90 degrees or as low as you can. Do three sets of 12 reps. 2. Large step lunge: Take a big step forward with one leg and lower your body until your knee nearly touches the floor. Bring your back leg forward to the starting position. Do three sets of eight to 10 reps. 3. Seated knee: Sit on a chair and extend the leg until knee is locked in position. Be sure the other foot is firmly on the floor and that the back is straight. Hold in position for 20 to 30 seconds and then return the leg to the floor. Repeat 3 to 4 times with same leg. Then repeat the process with the other leg. 4. Leg Lifts: Make sure your back is well supported. Lean back on your hands, or against the headboard. Place a pillow under your right knee. Lift your right foot a few inches, and feel the back of your knee push into the pillow. Hold for 10 seconds then rest your leg. Repeat with left leg until you feel a slight burning in the front of your leg. SCORCH Magazine 33

MOODSWINGS Whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your

Mood?

Photography and Editing: Pedro Virgil, Makeup: Jaumark Pierre, Additional Editing: Damian Evans, Swimsuit: Mood Swings

Lisa See Tai

SCORCH Magazine 35

GASBRAIN

HYUNDAI VELOSTER • 138 hp, 1.6-liter • 4-cylinder engine • 6-speed manual transmission or 6-speed EcoShift™ Dual Clutch Transmission

yundai did it again by introducing the cutting edge Veloster three door coupe. Two doors on one side and 1 on the other? Eh? Say again?

The 2012 Veloster delivers innovation to the compact segment with a unique 3rd door for easy rear access. This car is easy on the eyes while being easy on the pockets with 40 miles to the gallon. This means next time Petrotrin goes on strike, you can pass the gas station straight with your middle finger up in the air and a smirk on your face. This bess ride coming with six airbags, 2 in front, 1 in each seat mount, front and rear curtain airbags with state- of-the-art anti brake systems that detect a panic stop while adjusting the breaking force to front and rear axles. Long story short this car is just ‘Scorching Hot’. I’ll take a yellow! Thanks!

Mercedes-Benz 2013 500SL

he aluminum-bodied 2013 SL weighs in at up to 140 kg (about 309 lbs) lighter, but remains heavy on features. The 500 model SL rolls up with a 435-horsepower V8 that can hit 60 mph in 4.3 seconds. New components include the “magic sky control” panoramic sunroof, an improved windshield wiping system, eco start/stop functionality, distronic plus that helps prevent rear-end collisions, and a safer lighting system. 36 www.thescorch.com

CHROMATICS

Richard “Chromatics” Raj Kumar

So by now you’ve heard the Carnival Rap Up on YouTube or the radio and listened in awe at the lyrics this guy was spitting. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you immediately knew it had to be the one and only, most controversial hip hop artist out of Trinidad, Chromatics. Richard ‘Chromatics’ Raj-Kumar has had an uphill battle in the music industry but was determined to never slow down. He has performed all over the Caribbean and North America and there’s no denying he is a true lyricist but that is not all Chromatics has to offer. He hosts The Grind every Tuesday at 9 p.m. on NEXT 99.1 FM highlighting the best local, regional and international hip hop and R&B.

EAR CANDY

NAS The Don

“Somebody That I Used to Know” is a song by BelgianAustralian singer and songwriter Gotye from his third studio album Making Mirrors, and features New Zealand singer Kimbra. The song was written by Gotye himself, lyrically about the experiences he has had with relationships.

The first single from Nas’ upcoming 10th album Life Is Good includes production from Salaam Remi and the late Heavy D, who passed away last November.

38 www.thescorch.com

Lisa

See Tai

For updates on appearances and performances check out his page at www.facebook.com/maticstt

Gotye Somebody That I Used To Know YouTube Hits - 126,558,325

//MOOD

RELAXED

YouTube Hits - 137,351

Nas is quoted as saying: “Heavy D gave me that. He liked what we did with the other single, “Nasty,” and he sent me this record.’ And the rest is history, so rest in peace, Heavy D.”

Photography and Editing: Pedro Virgil, Makeup: Jaumark Pierre, Additional Editing: Damian Evans, Swimsuit: Mood Swings

SCORCH Magazine 39

Worst Carnival Videos 2012 One would think that with the ridiculously low prices of cameras, the slew of online video tutorials and the amount of places that you can feature your creation, that the standard of music videos would have improved over the years. WRONG! It has only gotten progressively worse. And the one local cable station that prides itself in showing these videos in their perpetuity seems to have no standards, and will air just about anything. Check out the worst of the worst here.

Mr Renzo & Swappi - Extra Ordinary Why it sucks: WTF...was that men in tights wrestling each other? This video lacks any semblance of direction. Help yuh side: Have an actual video idea, you’re snatching at straws with this one At least this is good : Random and copious amounts of breast shots.

The IZ & Machel Montano - Whine Why it sucks: Seriously guys? A pirate themed video? Shiver me timbers Help yuh side: At least be on a ship out in water, cars passing in the background is very distracting for the whole on-a-boat feel. At least this is good: We finally can make a real Pirates of the Caribbean joke

Cassi - Inside of the party Why it sucks: The ‘Silver confetti in the middle of the party looked a bit sparse Help yuh side: How about actually having a party to be “inside D party” At last this is good: The actual idea of the video, the execution ehhh not so much.

Kerwin Du Bois - Bacchanalist Why it sucks: We love us some Kerwin as much as the next masquerader but the cheap blue pants and waterfront shots gotta go. Help yuh side: Better Green screening, come on guys spend some money At least this is good: That one ‘spanish looking’ girl in the yellow top

Lil Bitts - Mischief Why it sucks: It looks like it was shot with a camera phone Help yup side: shoot like an actual professional camera At least this is good: Big Kernal for that cameo

0:25

Kes The Band - Stress Away Approved

Why it’s awesome: The Alice in Wonderland spin is amazing How this vid can help other vids: This video actually had structure, direction, and you can see that thought was put into it. Other videos should take heed.

TIPS AND TRICKS If you are planning on releasing a video next carnival, here are some tips on how NOT to end up on this page: 1. Start off with an idea, share this idea with someone who is not a “yes man” and will tell you the truth, “eh horse dat idea is sh!t.” 2. Illustrate some storyboards, see it before you do it. A storyboard is a graphic illustration in sequence for the purpose of pre-visualizing your video. 3. Get a producer/director with good equipment who shares your vision, but will also tell you if what you are doing is a good idea or not.

-1:07

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TRIBE Put on your costume in Lent and party?? Well, why not!! Tribe gave us the opportunity to relive a little bit of Carnival in March with their now annual Las Lap Jam, complete with stage and a guest appearance by Machel Montano. The best part is that it was was a charity even, so we didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t feel that bad for 42 www.thescorch.com wining down low during lent.

LAS LAP

I can’t understand...

Why did he leave me?

Recently, our SCORCH Data team hit the streets and did a survey compromising of 100 recently-single women between the ages of 18 and 35. We were trying to find out why their seemingly good boyfriends dumped them. Our statistical team compiled the most popular answers and even created a pie-chart to help our female readers better understand the thought process of a man.

Kyrelle

Lee Foon

SCORCH PIE CHART

44 www.thescorch.com

//MOOD

FLIRTY

Photography and Editing: Pedro Virgil, Makeup: Jaumark Pierre, Additional Editing: Damian Evans, Swimsuit: Mood Swings

• He found someone hotter: 6% • Your gag reflex is piss poor: 22% • He had a girlfriend: 12% • You asked ‘so we dealin’ now or wha?’: 8% • You call/txt/bbm every hour on the hour for no reason whatsoever: 4% • He told you from day 1 he didn’t want to commit and you still believed you could change him: 16% • He just wanted to know what the sex was like (it wasn’t that great): 32%

SCORCH Magazine 45

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I S S U E

3 2

M O O D

S W I N G S

For Issue 32 we collaborated with Mood Swings, so naturally we had to hit up the beach, and (D1) Damianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bay was the preferred destination. So we called up the SCORCH Committee and decided to have a full on beach-pump. Shout-out to all the sponsors that made it possible: Kallooâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Rentals, Coca-Cola, Punchy Punch and Red Bull.

SCORCH Magazine 47

Photography: Pedro Virgil, Makeup: Jaumark Pierre, Editing: Damian Evans, Swimsuit: Mood Swings

+ 7 Lisa See Tai

RAUNCHY

//MOOD

SCORCH Magazine 49

BOLLOCKS

May 5th – June 23rd, 2012

Why do you hate that girl next to you? Come on, you know you look at her and think psshh can’t stand that girl. Someone comes and asks you, why you doh like so and so? And you respond “ummm well you see, what had happen was...” This excuse is more than likely a pile of shit but all you know is. you can’t stand that heffa! If you realize that someone be drinking that haterade and apparently hates you, here’s a few reasons why:

1 You slept with her man/ex/ex of 3 years/her fling/her friend’s man/her friend’s ex etc.

2 She heard a rumour from a friend who heard it from her cousin’s older brother who heard it from his padna down the road and believed it.

3 You’re prettier than her (girls hate girls who 4 You have a good to decent body (people hate skinny bitches).

5 6

7 You have nice shoes.

9 You

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have a decent job and going to parties without running down comps.

10 Because you’re a SCORCH 7+ Model and she’s a hott-ass-mess.

n n an upsurge of me Recently there’s bee gh* but cou ugh *co n me er hating on oth its to hating a nex usually if a man adm e: fella it’s only becaus

1 He blast his girl/ex/mom. #ThatIsAll

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8 You got that good hair.

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You’re confident (i.e. you don’t give a shit about what people have to say).

You wear nice outfits.

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2012

don’t have to cake on that makeup).