Suicide attempt survivor speaks out

Rise in men seeking mental health support

Lockdown restrictions have undoubtedly taken their toll on the mental health of many individuals, friends, families and work colleagues. A Leicester-based mental health charity has reported a significant upsurge in demand for its helpline, advocacy services and online resources during Covid-19, particularly from men.

Leicestershire Action for Mental Health Project (Lamp) has provided free mental health advocacy services to people and organisations in Leicester, Leicestershire and Rutland for over 30 years.

The charity’s services are independent, confidential, trusted, non-judgemental, and aim to make people feel valued, listened to, more able to cope, and to provide access to services that support their needs. By working with people to develop their confidence to speak out, Lamp enables individuals to make a real difference in the quality of the support and care they receive.

The charity provides information and support, as well as organising and attending community events to help challenge stigma, increase awareness and help those whose lives are affected by mental health.

Proud to work with a wide range of forward-thinking businesses across the region, Lamp’s Business Club is one of the first in the country to emphasise the health and wellbeing of employees, and now counts over 50 local businesses as members, including Glenfield Electrical.

Like a lot of people, Phil Houlder from Glenfield Electrical has suffered from negative thoughts most of his life. In his case, they led to him attempting suicide at age 12. He recently shared his experiences to encourage other men to speak up.

Suicide attempt survivor tells Niche about his connection with mental health charity Lamp after demand increases for its helpline

DON’T TRY AND GET THE MONKEY OFF YOUR BACK, LOOK AFTER IT, FEED IT BANANAS, LOVE AND RESPECT IT

Phil’s story

When Phil was 11, a huge negative force would start on Sunday evenings before school. “I’d cry myself to sleep, get up in the morning and lock myself in the toilet. Mum and dad had to physically drag me out sometimes.” One day, in the school sick room, when he was 12, he swallowed 14 paracetamol tablets. Fortunately, they only rendered him unconscious, and he made a full recovery. But it helped him to understand why people take their lives, which is why he joined the Lamp Business Club.

He says drink, drugs and girls got him through from the age of 16 to 21. Then he met his wife and settling down into family life had a tremendous positive impact. Then he took redundancy and started his own business, Glenfield Electrical, which meant he had a lot more responsibility and was never ‘there’ with his family.

His son once said to him: “You’ve not listened to a word I’ve said.” Phil told us: “I hadn’t. I’d been thinking about what I had to do at work tomorrow.” Remembering a break to New York with his wife, he said: “Mentally, I was somewhere else. My wife said it had been pointless going, and that broke my heart.”

A year ago, he went on The UK Ministry of Inspiration fiveday ‘Broadband Consciousness’ course. “It literally changed my life,” says Phil. “I started to understand my own feelings and how to accept that those dark, negative, thoughts may have me for an hour, or even a day, but that things would be different tomorrow.”

He says men are reluctant to talk about their feelings, which leads to a high number of male suicides. “Men have the belief that if we show our feelings, it’s a sign of weakness but it’s not. Telling your story is cathartic and can give hope and confidence to others.”

To find out more about mental health support or the Lamp Business Club, visit lampadvocacy.co.uk or email info@lampdirect.org.uk.