HOW TO DISAPPEAR COMPLETELY
zach bundy elena rocchi nick shekerjian arizona state university architecture + environmental design 2019
image a: index
image b: face
image c: tower
image d: hypostyle
image e: ruins
CASE:#1201513733 CASE DOSIER: A1-27 31-01-2057 SUB.: CIND EVIDENCE #1: IMPLANTATION/AUGMENTATION OF A SHOE As I write this, fantasy is being found to be inserted into reality with greater certainty. Fact and fiction are so layered on top of another, so integrated, that distinguishing between the two is becoming nearly impossible. Moreover, our weak understanding of the production of virtuality has disconnected us from truth. Since the destruction of our knowledge on the construction of our digital infrastructures, we’ve lost our memories on how to build it, deconstruct it, repair it, and reconstruct it. In this time of dependency and uncertainty our only truth are the images that this infrastructure automatically and perpetually copies, pastes, and synthesizes into new images. Can we discover the significance of these fictional images as artifacts of truth? Will we finally understand why people are disappearing, escaping into the liminal space, the Actual Present? Is disappearing dangerous? Is it a discovery of truth? A local citizen, STACY, recounts the thoughts which ran through her head before and after she lost her shoe, and disappeared [IMAGE A]. EVIDENCE #2: INDEX & THE PRESENT A memory placed in a structure designed as a timeline of movement becomes a machine for processing past events. Through its movement, this index, this machine seems to generate something which is not just the real but the hyper-real. Five memories were auto-produced as images of the augmentedpresent of STACY during the interview. These images are of her hyperreality, our only evidence into disappearing. A.TIME: Index B.MEMORY: Face to face C.POSITION: Tower D.INPUT/OUTPUT: Hypostyle E.INTERFACE: Ruin
image a: index
EVIDENCE #3: INTERVIEW 11:54:30:00 STACY “...The bell tolled at the stroke of midnight. I thought I was asleep.” XXXX XXXXXXX “What do you mean?” STACY “Well I thought I was asleep, but the bell rang and suddenly I was sitting in front of the Prince. He was maybe an inch away from me. Right in my face.” XXXX XXXXXXX “Was he handsome?” STACY “Why would it matter? He was. His breath was warm and clean. [B] But something felt wrong when he looked at me. It wasn’t just him, everyone was looking at me, looking at us.” 11:54:32:45 XXXX XXXXXXX “Did you kiss him?” STACY “No. He moved his lips in for a kiss but I instinctually bolted up. The tower [C] felt alive because everyone was tied to it. I lost track of time and now it was punishing me.” XXXX XXXXXXX “Were you late for something?” STACY “Yes I was.” 11:54:37:65 XXXX XXXXXXX “STACY, it seems like you didn’t know what you were late for?” STACY “I didn’t. I brushed the leaves off my lap. I looked at his face while running and told ‘im I had to leave. I wasn’t thinking, just moving. ’ XXXX XXXXXXX “And he told you not to leave. Were you worried?”
image b: face
STACY “Terrified. I’ll never forget it. The clock was still clanging in the background. Obnoxious. It seemed everyone was looking at us.” XXXX XXXXXXX “Did you know for certain?” STACY “I was constantly being watched. We all were. Did you know there use to be entire stretches of land, leveled and marked for focusing satellite cameras? ‘Camera resolution targets’ they called them. Imagine thousands of cameras in the sky providing constant access to surveillance. Your friends, family, coworkers, and lovers: everyone was willfully participating in it. Even if it you didn’t see it, and you never saw it, the air was teeming with watchful eyes.” 11:54:38:70 XXXX XXXXXXX “That’s when you knew you were going to disappear correct?” STACY “Yes. It’s a feeling deep in your bones. Being watched isn’t for everyone. I knew it wasn’t for me. I needed to escape from them. I just wasn’t expecting it, or rather, didn’t consciously know it was happening. It’s a bit shocking this isn’t a more commonly shared worry.” 11:54:39:02 XXXX XXXXXXX “I agree. You would think people would seek their freedom and solitude. My theory is we’re all a bit masochistic; somehow the voyeurism is like a disciplining structure, the same we use to fear when we created the archetype of the all-seeing god. But you hadn’t realized this earlier? What specifically prompted you to leave?” STACY “It was the sound of the clock striking midnight. I suddenly woke up and became aware of the everything: the past and future, like um— in a moment I could see all movement in time.” 11:54:40:05 XXXX XXXXXXX “Was it your movement or all movement? What happened with the Prince?” STACY “I don’t know. I caught only a quick sight of him. I was looking at the landscape beyond the castle. I was suddenly so jealous of those people, the ones that lived there. They had nothing, the privilege of solitude and disconnection from the rest of the world.” 11:54:47:00 XXXX XXXXXXX “You didn’t find him handsome though?”
STACY “Christ, you don’t quit... Yes he was objectively handsome, but you’re not realizing how creepy he was.” XXXX XXXXXXX “What do you mean?” STACY “Because everyone at the ball was there to show off, to parade themselves out in some rotten way and he was the progenitor of this attitude. That’s all it was for. He was handsome because he can’t let a camera catch him looking the least sloppy. He’s filled with all these physical augmentations. It would be too honest otherwise. And good luck getting someone to actually dance in public or, god forbid, possibly enjoy themselves and look like a fool in the process.” 11:54:48:00 XXXX XXXXXXX “STACY, what did you tell the Prince?” STACY “I told the bastard ‘goodbye’ and I took off. Nothing else needed to be said” 11:54:48:40 XXXX XXXXXXX “And he asked you to stay? 11:54:49:89 STACY “Yes! He was persistent. But it didn’t matter because even if I was drawn to him something else took control. I ran forward and through a grand hall filled with pink light. I vividly remember the sound of my slippers on the marble floor; they were so delicate. I loved them, but also felt betrayed by them in a time of emergency. If they broke, my feet would be utterly annihilated in a pile of flesh and glass. The shoes weren’t mine though so breaking them was truly out of the question. I don’t know how they stayed intact. He was there behind me.” XXXX XXXXXXX “Where was the pink light coming from?” STACY “In the hall [D]. There was a heavy red curtain with light shining through, and rows of tall, stout columns. The columns made me anxious because I couldn’t see around them. I had no idea if there were others in the room.” XXXX XXXXXXX “Ironically there weren’t people around, but many cameras—”
STACY “—And mirrors, tiny mirrors. I saw them.” 11:54:49:30 XXXX XXXXXXX “And then what?” STACY “The Prince chased after me. He was yelling: ‘I don’t know your name! How will I find you?!’” XXXX XXXXXXX “Did you tell him your name? Why was he so interested in you?” 11:54:51:45 STACY “I didn’t. He was so interested because— well, unlike him, I’m unabashedly an impostor. I found a way to cloak myself in a new identity, one opposite of mine. My clothes, my hair, my jewels, my attitude— all stolen! Not that that was uncommon, but some of us end up entering a new state as a result. He was falling for someone else. My godmother used to say that disappearing only occurs in extreme duress, when you question yourself and your identity. It happens when you lose yourself. When your identities distort into one another... I had found the means and the inspiration to lose myself entirely and became a perception of something or someone else, like when the palm of a hand leaves a mark of steam on cold glass. I’m ashamed but thankful, in a way, for having abandoned my self. I’m not sure I would have escaped otherwise. When I was running, I had a vision: gusts of wind passed through the hall. I’m feeling a bit sick, but lighter. Suddenly I could see the night sky. There was a storm, and the hall was filling with pink water. People on boats scraped the marble floor as they waded through the shallow water, ruining the wood of the ships in the process and halting in place. These characters were gentle and light, not like the aristocrats from the party. When still, they were ghosts in an airy tableau.” XXXX XXXXXXX “Can you describe your physical state a bit?” 11:54:55:03 STACY “Ha! That’s hard to say. Ahead there was a beautiful staircase. I kept running down the steps. The entire time I’m turning over my shoulder, expecting to see the Prince’s warped face. I’m anxious to say the least and operating under some automatic impulse. I had a sense that even though the events were strange, I knew I had created them and I had control over everything. My anxiety was in not knowing what I might do next.” 11:54:57:20 XXXX XXXXXXX “What you’re describing sounds like a lucid dream. Have you ever had one? STACY “Never. But I don’t sleep much and don’t do much dreaming. I’ve done a lot of swimming in lakes though, I use to think that was dreamy. Is it like that?”
image c: tower
XXXX XXXXXXX “I couldn’t tell you. Never been to a lake. The ones where I grew up were dangerous at that time. I know I look old enough for something like that, but— so how did you navigate through?” STACY “I just kept running. My body was taking over. My slipper caught on one of the steps and I turned back to retrieve it, but I finally caught sight of the Prince running towards me. I left it behind.” XXXX XXXXXXX “Was this when you were fading in and out of this vision? How do know if any of this was real?” STACY “I didn’t, and I still don’t know what was real… Hey! You ever heard that phrase about catching fish?” XXXX XXXXXXX “No.” STACY “‘If you want to catch a little fish, stay in the shallow parts. But if you want to catch the big fish, you’ve gotta wade in deeper waters.’” XXXX XXXXXXX “What does that mean?” STACY “Uh— A friend told me that it was about consciousness; if you want to get into a true state of presence you’ve got to expand the state a bit, get a little deeper. But what about sharks? They go into shallow water too.” 54:58:84 XXXX XXXXXXX “That’s a good point. Maybe the sharks are like spirits meandering in between reality and the deeper consciousness.” 54:59:10 STACY “I really wish you’d been to a lake. It’s not right for a guy like you to be held up indoors all your life. But you could be right. The whole event was both perception and reality. Escaping the ball was like crossing a screen, between an image and reality. That contradiction didn’t exist before. 54:59:95 XXXX XXXXXXX “I hope that changes one day. I’m not hopeful, but let’s see. So then you escaped.”
image d: hypostyle
STACY “Yeah and it was frightening. I was floating! My body flew through the gate and out into the landscape.” XXXX XXXXXXX “Into the ruins.” STACY “Yes. In the in-between, I was just carried there, onto the field of grass in the north. I saw the moon for the last time and then I— just melted into the landscape. [E]” XXXX XXXXXXX “How long were you gone?” STACY “I’m told it was 30 years.” END OF TAPE
image e: ruins