vaccines for fear
walking through creative blocks
nishita mohta
everyone is creative a creative professional. a business founder. a tech wizard. a number-cruncher. a food crafter. a corporate misfit. a music aficionado. an out-of-habit creative. an eager explorer. If you are engaged in coming up with new ideas for work & for life, you are a Creative, and
this book is for you. @vaccinesforfear
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introduction
Creative blocks are the symptoms of Fear, and Fear is hard-wired into our brains.
creative blocks attack the best of us. From an evolutionary perspective, the amygdala has developed as a section of the brain which detects the presence of danger and makes us act in a jiffy to prevent any harm to the self. This response system is absolutely essential for our survival in the face of danger. The issue is... the amygdala doesn’t quite differentiate between a genuinely dangerous situation and the mere illusion of danger. Imagine how we’d get frightened if the shadow of a rope looked like a snake in our dark room. That’s the amygdala acting in a moment - without spending any time on evaluating the situation. It even perceives healthy challenges as potentially dangerous. For this primitive part of the brain, a creative leap of faith is pretty much as dangerous as leaping into the deep end of a swimming pool with no knowledge of swimming. And that’s what our creative block wants to “save” us from.
@vaccinesforfear
introduction
‘Uncertainity’, ‘change’ and ‘struggle’ are 3 factors that cause the amygdala to act up instantaneously. They are ALSO the same 3 factors which are present in every healthy challenge which is an opportunity for growth and learning. Creative blocks will continue to come up as our inner critic tries to “save” us and stop us. We can’t change that, but we can definitely change how we choose to act in the face of a creative block.
the only way ‘out’ is ‘through’ Overcoming a creative block starts by acknowledging the root fear & knowing that this fear comes from an impulsive reaction of the brain, not a logical one. If we sit with our fears and listen to them, they tell us why they exist in the first place. Is it because the brain has experienced shame in the past for creative attempts? Is it because of some preconceived notions? Are those situations still as dangerous to us as they were in the past? Are they really dangerous at all? Spending some time in concious converssation with our fears can allow us to move out of them by moving through them.
#vaccinesforfear
introduction
this book is home to my conversations with my creative fears The project ‘Vaccines for Fear’ started as a 30-day project, in continuation to the many pep-talks that my friends and I (all creative professionals) have been giving one another over the past many years. My own experiences with creative blocks have motivated me to learn more about them and all of that learning forms the conceptual backbone of this project here. This project has been my deep dive into creative blocks & building creative confidence. Definitely a theoretical level, yes, because writing for this project involved deeper research and insights than before. But also at a practical level because I worked with digital collages for the first time and we all know how intimidating a new medium can be!
@vaccinesforfear
introduction
Each artwork in the series features a short conversation between the “voice of fear” and the “voice of wisdom”. Each conversation hopes to serve as a reminder that the fear is not to be averted, but rather, to be actively engaged with. While the voice of fear is an instantaneous one, the voice of wisdom takes time to gain confidence to speak up. I invite you to befriend these artworks and I hope that they will serve as nudges for you to speak with your own fears when needed.
& this is how you can use it to talk to yours The 30 creative blocks featured here are some of the most common ones. Every time you feel a little blocked, demotivated or plain lazy, I invite you to flip/scroll through this book and you might just find one of them mirroring the conversation in your own head. Hopefully, a little practice in always giving space to the voice of widsom will allow it to become stronger and #vaccinesforfear to become more effective over time.
#vaccinesforfear
30 is better than none The voice in my head dismissed the idea of a 100 day project. “You didn’t complete the previous one”. To counter the fear of Difficulty, here I am, starting with a number which is challenging enough, but not entirely overwhelming. Courage is only the accumulation of small steps, said György Konrad.. and accomplishing smaller creative victories is the undeniable first step to attacking larger ones. Reminder to self: Break down that herculean task into smaller tasks and celebrate the accomplishment of every single one of those. One step at a time.
may 1, 2020
day 1/30 #vaccinesforfear
say it in your voice The fear of our idea lacking originality is an absolute menace. “I really want to contribute something NEW and meaningful to the world!” But hey, voice-in-my-head, you do realise that every idea gets a fresh lease of life when expressed through the perspective of someone new, right? That is how worthy ideas “multiply and transmute as they are shared and explored”, writes Anne Janzer in a blogpost that I really like. By exploring a topic deeply and honestly, we can always hope to create authentic work which will resonate with an audience that’s waiting for our unique translation of the same old idea. Reminder to self: Focus on authenticity, stop fretting about originality.
may 2, 2020
day 2/30 #vaccinesforfear
look beyond “correct” This is such a big one, the fear of Creativity itself! “What is this mystical ability that only some possess?” B***s***. The idea that some people are right-brain dominant and hence more creative is a myth that arose in the mid1800s. Creativity is the act of “turning a new idea into reality” and it looks different for everyone. As children, before “correct” came into the picture, we’d consider the most fantastical ways to play with a simple stick or turn a park bench into a fortress. It’s the same energy and fearlessness that we have to tap into while ideating our next strategic problem or redoing the living room arrangement. Reminder to self: Creativity is not married to art.
may 3, 2020
day 3/30 #vaccinesforfear
find the right scene “That’s so odd, why are you even doing it?”. This terrifying comment (or some version of it) fuels our fear of Acceptance and shuts our mind down before pen touches paper. Let’s be honest... Weirdness is just another perspective, of just another person. Nothing more, nothing less. I loved my friend Ramita‘s example of her book club, a space to celebrate thoughts which aren’t necessarily discussed elsewhere. Here’s to the hope that we all find the conditions and the people that give us the space to explore and express. Reminder to self: Perspective is everything. Choose the people who’s perspective lets you grow.
may 4, 2020
day 4/30 #vaccinesforfear
follow your curiosity Amidst gigantic emotional rollercoasters, these times of uncertainty aren’t meant for “finding our true purpose”. The fear of #Comparison and the self-imposed pressure to achieve throws, what Liz Gilbert calls, a blanket of paralysis on us. In her latest interview on TED, she talks of the beauty of following our curiosity and how it helps us cope. Curiosity, she says, is a gentler word and unlike “passion” and “purpose”, need not result in the next best-selling novel or a new business. So while some might be curious about their dormant creative sides, others might simply be curious about the daily activities of the squirrel visiting their balcony. Reminder to self: Do whatever calls for your attention.
may 5, 2020
day 5/30 #vaccinesforfear
complete, not perfect As I fiddled around with some extra compositions and bands of neon colours on this collage, the voice in my head said “Maybe it can be perfected”. There’s no bigger red flag than that. The fear of not achieving Perfection has stopped many kickass pieces of work from being Completed. “Fuck it, Ship it” originated a motto written on the wall of a Copenhagenstartup Elastic & it’s one of my favorites! Use it to counter the self-doubt which is bound to crop up in the home stretch of any project, whether personal or professional. Reminder to self: Believe in your consistent process more than your last minute anxiety.
may 6, 2020
day 6/30 #vaccinesforfear
treasure the iterations The fear that we’ll never achieve our #Vision is a real drain of energy. “It sounded great in your head but look what you’ve done in real life.” But that’s why design school taught us about treating every stage as “design development”, business studies emphasize on rapid prototyping and the practice of Buddhist philosophy keeps the Heart Sutra at its core. The creative process is an uphill trek, in which a definite number of steps MUST be covered before getting to the peak, and a long jump is definitely not an option. Every iteration that we attempt and build upon is an indispensible stepping stone... and the mountain top is just around the corner :) Reminder to self: Iterate, learn and keep going.
may 7, 2020
day 7/30 #vaccinesforfear
create value for yourself Creating value for ourselves▪︎While working professionally, we get so caught up in (hopefully) adding value to the lives of others that personal projects are clouded with the fear not being useful enough. “Who am I doing this for?” I try to shut down the mean voice in my head with the following two reasons: (A) The creative process itself is an act of learning, of healing, and so much more. Value, value, value. Tick. And (B) *unpopular opinion* While working professionally, we add value to the lives of others with the hope of gaining something for ourselves, including job satisfaction (ie. Happiness) and monetary compensation (ie. Also indirectly for Comfort = Happiness) So if I just acknowledge that I’m doing it all for myself anyway, maybe I can stop loading my poor personal project with guilt and pressure. Reminder to self: Our creative pursuits always add value - whether tangible or intangible... whether to ourselves, to others or to both.
may 8, 2020
day 8/30 #vaccinesforfear
zoom in The human mind deals with over 50,000 thoughts in a single day, and in times of the pandemic, a terrifying large %age of them end up being very negative. The fear of having lost all #Control is such a big wet blanket on any creative plans. These not-so-great days are the ones on which my friend Archita and I try to be extra mindful and exchange notes on the smallest of things that really ARE in our control the decision to not compare, eating a certain amount of icecream, getting enough rest, listening to a long-pending podcast... and the list just goes on. Reminder to self: You’re in control of all the little things which add up.
may 9, 2020
day 9/30 #vaccinesforfear
create more mindspace It took me quite some time to start intentionally shutting out certain online conversations. And why not? There’s a fine line between the amount of information we really need, and the excess which barges into our mindspace for no purpose at all. Without being ignorant, we can stilll choose to bring lesser of the disaster into our homes and minds, and create more space for what deserves to be in our lives warmth, love, creativity and joy. Reminder to self: Mind space is sacred. Curate with intention.
may 10, 2020
day 10/30 #vaccinesforfear
the lighthouse The voice in my head reminds me of all the projects that either got abandoned or completed with 20% energy because I simply lost all motivation along the way. “You’ll just get bored once again, no?” The fear of losing Motivation can only be countered by setting up our lighthouse at the beginning of the journey. Once the newness inevitably starts fading and obstacles need to be regularly tackled, it’s the lighthouse of our Day 0 enthusiasm which will guide us on the home stretch. Reminder to self: Make an actual note of everything that you find exciting about the project before you begin. This is your lighthouse. Come back to it when you lose interest along the way.
may 11, 2020
day 11/30 #vaccinesforfear
camp for the night “So you’re sleepy again?” I’ve felt bad about being exhausted so many times during architecture school, it’s not even funny. But the rest is as essential as the work itself. Science and spirituality both got my back on this! Sleep is not just essential for the creative muscle to regain strength, but also to achieve insights into the problem at hand. A process of information alchemy takes places during the REM phase of sleep, which can provide a 3-fold increase in problem solving capacity. The idea of rest (sleeping or otherwise) is taken seriously in several spiritual practices too. Reminder to self: Choose to rest before you’re forced to rest. No guilt. Extra naps on the days of extra brain work.
may 12, 2020
day 12/30 #vaccinesforfear
map it out It is more enabling to see our to-do lists as roadmaps that take the load off our memory, rather than commandments of any sort. In the book Atomic Habits*, James Clear talks about “reducing friction” to decrease the number of steps towards getting something done, and a to-do list is exactly that - a map that keeps pointing out the direction to you. The map doesn’t predict the journey, simply enables it. All en-route surprises are for us to deal with and re-route as and when needed. At the end of the journey, the map also shows us how far we’ve reached. :) Reminder to self: Make your to-do list work FOR you, not against you. Acknowledge all the items that have been ticked off!
may 13, 2020
day 13/30 #vaccinesforfear
connected for good Way before self-isolation became a global mandate, freelancing designers were doing it anyway. And many of us figured out along the way that the only way to cope and flourish as independent creatives was to stay connected with our own tribe. From honest (sometimes difficult to hear) feedback to good doses of positive energy, these are the people to count on when countering the fear of being alone on this journey. Reminder to self: Check-in with your tribe on the regular, for their good and for yours.
may 14, 2020
day 14/30 #vaccinesforfear
the sun rises anyway Specially in the case of self-motivated projects, *getting into the zone* can be a really daunting task. “A really dignified way to live as an artist is to hold yourself completely and 100% accountable for your time. Otherwise you fall into a world of blame and shame, excuses and procrastination”, reminds Liz Gilbert. Regardless of the weather, the Sun continues to rise everyday. So while the right mood may or may not strike, developing discipline can be an act of self-respect. Ofcourse, the next question is: “But I need inspiration to create even in that scheduled time”. That’s what I’ll be exploring a bit more in the coming days. Discipline first, inspiration next. Reminder to self: Set aside chunks of time (an hour at a go) for personal creative work as a matter of discipline, and create without judgment in those hours.
may 15, 2020
day 15/30 #vaccinesforfear
say hi to the muse The historical idea of the Muse is a fun one, where the creative person is free to think of themselves as a ‘channel’ for creative insight from a... higher source, if you may. The concept originated in ancient Greece and is acknowledged by both psychologists and creatives today, because it saves us from swinging to either of the two dangerous extremes of narcissism and creative burnout. Attributing our inspired creations to the Muse allows us to remain humble and takes away the performance pressure which would have caused creative fatigue and burnout. Reminder to self: Practice gratitude towards the Muse for all creative success and do not feel personally-responsible in low phases.
may 16, 2020
day 16/30 #vaccinesforfear
travel state of mind Travel experiences leave us inspired - not because we suddenly become creative geniuses, but simply because we pay more attention. Everything from the shape of the door to the foliage of the trees feels new and exciting, and begs to be observed without any preconceived notions. This beginner’s mindset is worth maintaining in our everyday lives (even within the confines of our homes)... when we read, when we listen to people and when we look at the same view outside our windows once again. Reminder to self: Keep aside the assumption of already knowing things and hunt for previously unnoticed details through the eyes of a traveler.
may 17, 2020
day 17/30 #vaccinesforfear
feed your creativity Creative output needs to be fueled by inspiring input. Everytime the nasty voice in my head says “You’re completely numbed out, you’re not going to be able to make anything now”, it’s a sign that it’s time to refuel. “In order to create, we draw from our inner well”, says Julia Cameron. And this well of inspiration needs to be regularly replenished - with experiences, with lived encounters with the unexpected, with fun! Reminder to self: Feed your creative mind with sights, sounds, smells, taste and touch that evoke magic. Nothing that feels like a creative duty (No art critic reviews if you don’t enjoy it) & everything that feels like delight.
may 18, 2020
day 18/30 #vaccinesforfear
let it brew I sometimes slip into a complete daze and block if I stare at a problem for too long. On the other hand, history has well-recorded proof of all the Eureka-moments that great innovators have had when they were in the bath, chilling under a tree or just walking around. Neuroscientific studies* show that our best insights occur during phases of free-thinking because (in a nutshell) it puts our mind at ease and allow it to create new remote associations between information which we cannot do while being fixated with correct, efficient solutions. Reminder to self: Alternate between periods of focused and relaxed attention when trying to innovate on a problem. Take the time to chill the f*** out.
may 19, 2020
day 19/30 #vaccinesforfear
hear your own voice The inner critic, the doubts, the “what if” and the “but then” often stop us from getting in touch with our ‘first thoughts’ - the type of thoughts which possess tremendous energy. This is when the age-old technique of Freewriting comes handy. “I write because I dont know what I think until I read what I say”, said writer Flannery O’Connor. But writing is too precious to leave to writers alone. This is useful for anyone who wants to tap into their own uncensored inner voice. Reminder to self: Switch to automated, subconscious thinking daily by writing out your thoughts minus the self-censoring.
may 20, 2020
day 20/30 #vaccinesforfear
bad ideas are good Raise your hand if, like me, you sometimes find your sitting and staring at a blank sheet/screen *waiting for inspiration to strike*. Adopting a mindset of experimentation can often provide a breakthrough for us. “If you want a good idea, start with a lot of ideas” said Nobel laureate Linus Pauling. Creativity often becomes apparent only in hindsight, as we hit gold with a couple of innovative ideas while struggling through a ton of bad ones. Reminder to self: Inspiration follows action. Focus on quantity till you reach quality.
may 21, 2020
day 21/30 #vaccinesforfear
zoom out I almost gave up on this 30-day project a day or two back, because my other work “was too important and needed more attention”. There’s a fine line between recognizing the importance of your work so that you feel inspired, vs. assigning it an exaggerated sense of importance which ends up paralysing us, breaks the balance by taking over our mind and, god forbid, break us if that one precious project takes a hit. (Wink, wink! Me in the covid-hit travel industry!) Reminder to self: Distribute your attention wisely to stay balanced in the long run. In the attempt to do your best, don’t forget that you only get better along the way.
may 22, 2020
day 22/30 #vaccinesforfear
you can, you should Fact: Everyone is born creative. Also, fact: Our educational choices and professional opportunities impose really strong labels on us. Someone once pointed out that the educational options available to us are much less than the career options we are actually free to explore over the span of our lives. I love that design professions prioritise a portfolio over anything else. So, as long as we’re interested, skilled and dedicated, there’s no reason why our previous labels should become self-imposed boundaries for the future. Reminder to self: Don’t wait for validation or permission to explore your creative mindset outside of your “profession”.
may 23, 2020
day 23/30 #vaccinesforfear
fail forward The voice in my head tries to mock me the minute I get excited about a new glorious plan, “You’re going to ruin it.” The honest truth is... Even the most elaborately planned out projects have the possibility of failure. So instead of running away from that possibility, why not account for it from the very beginning? I’ve started reframing all my glorious daydreams as “experiments” instead of “plans” and that word play goes a long way. Needless to say, dealing with that failure will look very different in client projects and personal projects. Reminder to self: Embrace the possibility of failure, and prepare to “fail forward” after learning from the experiment.
may 24, 2020
day 24/30 #vaccinesforfear
make it attractive Distractions in every direction, no matter where I turn my head. While many listicles and such on the internet talk about “removing distractions”, the elusive state of being focused remains tough to achieve. It is because the opposite of ‘distraction’ is not ‘focus’, it is ‘attraction’. There are an infinite number of external distractions, and there is only one task that we need to focus on. Remember how the hours seem to pass by when we are really *into* the work we’re doing, sometimes forgetting to get up for lunch and a loo-break? Reminder to self: Find the element of attraction in the creative work you’re doing. There’s bound to be one, even if it’s a client project.
may 25, 2020
day 25/30 #vaccinesforfear
imposter syndrome “I’m being rewarded for something I didn’t really achieve, it’s only a matter of time before everyone finds out that I’m a creative fraud.” Sounds familiar? That’s the Imposter Syndrome that pretty much everyone goes through. You can read more about it on the internet, but all I want to say in this post is that IT’S OKAY. Being worried about whether you’re good enough at your work means that you still care and your creative pursuit is really worth pursuing. The greatest artists know that there is always room to improve. But, be kind to yourself. Reminder to self: Evaluate yourself objectively, or take help from peers for honest feedback. Don’t exaggerate your shortcomings (exactly the way you don’t exaggerate your achievements)
may 26, 2020
day 26/30 #vaccinesforfear
gotta catch ‘em all Whether it’s during the daily commute, in the shower, or while chatting with a friend on the phone... we all get great ideas at some point of time during the day. Unfortunately, the speed at which an idea “strikes” us, is also the speed at which our brain generates further new thoughts and we forget about our magnificent idea (exactly the way we forget a dream within seconds of waking up sometimes). I’ve sometimes made the mistake of wanting to rely on my memory and recall the idea when it’s time to execute, but.... it just doesn’t seem to work that way. Scientifically speaking, don’t rely on your memory, guys! Specially for a resource as precious as ideas. Reminder to self: Capture fleeting ideas in their designated place before they vanish.
may 27, 2020
day 27/30 #vaccinesforfear
opinions are okay We all know we need critique to improve our craft. Yet, our creativity is such a personal expression at times that even well-meaning critique can be a big “ouch”. My grandfather gave me the most solid piece of advice back when I had an opinion-flood coming at me in Class 12 - “suno sabki, karo apne mann ki “ (hindi for “listen to everyone, and do what you believe in”) It’s this same superpower, of not letting any one opinion affect you too much, that @jamesclear talks about in Atomic Habits. Everyone’s opinions come from their own unique perspective, and it’s upto us to make whatever sense of it we want. Reminder to self: Don’t take anyone’s opinion personally. It’s a reflection of their perspective, not your work alone.
may 28, 2020
day 28/30 #vaccinesforfear
forget ‘shiny’ “Wait till you can get the stylus fixed after the lockdown”, said the voice in my head.. as it gave me another reason to not do this 30-day project. Just one of the many resistances. Has it been an absolute pain to do this entire collage project without the “right” tools like the stylus of my Surface Pro? Patience-wise and carpel-tunnel-syndrome-wise... Yes, big pain. Could this artwork have been easier if I waited to fix my tools? Yes, much easier. Am I super relieved and glad I did this project anyway? YES. Ideas are fleeting, and it’s better to create than to wait. Reminder to self: That better camera / correct paints and paper / better software and every tool that stands as a mental block can come into the picture later and make your work more shiny eventually. First, just create.
may 29, 2020
day 29/30 #vaccinesforfear
celebrate! “Chop chop, don’t get lazy just because you got completed this 30-day project. What’s next?” The voice in my head is such a douche sometimes. With this non-stop-productive behaviour, we risk ourselves to extreme burnout, which we all know isn’t helping anyone... let alone our creative energies. Pausing to celebrate our wins is critical to our success. Not only does celebration release endorphins that make your body feel great, we also reinforce the importance of the achievement in our brain and prepare it to work for the next win. Reminder to self: Celebrate your wins, small and big.
may 30, 2020
day 30/30 #vaccinesforfear
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