OUT OF BODY (AND MECHANICAL EXPERIENCES

Mad Maxi

by THOMAS GRECO, PUBLISHER

There are hundreds of moving parts taking place when you manage any trade show, and of course, the NORTHEAST® show is no different when it comes to that. Although most of the fires you wind up putting out are things you may not have expected, they are usually not the LAST thing you could possibly think of. Until now.

In the over three decades I have been involved with the show, I have seen everything from a person passing away after having a heart attack at his booth to blizzards to hurricanes causing power outages to an entire second floor without heat. None of those things were on our minds prior to the shows, and at the time, we dealt with them as best as we could; however, this year…it was a little closer (and I mean CLOSE) to home. I have only missed one NORTHEAST in all those years – and it took a heart attack and surgery to keep me away. This year wasn’t quite surgery, and it didn’t keep me away but… I woke up on the Saturday of the show around 8am, hoping to get to the Meadowlands Exposition Center by 9am. I crawled out of bed (it WAS 8am!), took a shower and headed to the sink to brush my teeth, take my pills, etc. As I was brushing, I looked in the mirror and noticed a blood stain on the towel around my neck. Then I looked down and saw a pool of blood on the rug beneath me. Now, I don’t know if it’s a guy thing or what, but the first thing I checked was my, well, you know. All good there. But then I reached for my, well, let me just say the word “vasectomy,” and you’ll get the idea. My hand came up covered in blood.

On a normal day, I might have fainted right there and then. But it was 8am, so I still must have been half asleep because I calmly walked back to the shower to see where I must have cut myself. But the shower was clear. No blood anywhere. I grabbed the towel from my neck and held it to the area, hoping the pressure would stop the flow. Walking gingerly to the doorway, I called out for my wife. Silence. I yelled a little louder. Silence. She finally came upstairs, saw the towel now soaked with blood and asked what the hell was happening. Now look. Anyone who knows me knows damn well that there is no way I can see that area clearly. Let’s be honest, I probably haven’t seen it in a decade. There’s a huge gut in the way. But my wonderful wife told me to lay down, and she performed the inspection. Apparently, there was a small cut that was gushing blood. I held a new towel with one hand and applied pressure, figuring it would slow it down. With my other hand, I used my phone to look up how to seal the wound. Turns out that area of the body is very susceptible to bleeding due to the high amount of capillaries (or something like that). Add the fact that I am on blood thinners and here we were with a geyser on a geezer.

After a few minutes, I tried to get dressed, but before I even got my pants on, my underwear was soaked. So, back on the bed I went. I asked my wife to run out and get some liquid bandages, hoping that they would work. It was 9am.

While she was gone, I texted Alicia: “I think I’m going to be a little late. I’ll get there as soon as I can.” “Okay. Is anything wrong?”

“Well…”

I had to be honest with her. She’s my partner. And she gave the predictable answer: “What the f#$k???” As always, she kept everything running smoothly while I tried to figure out how to avoid needing a transfusion. My wife returned with the liquid bandages. I applied them, jumped up and once again tried to get